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captainmike
Guest
I’ve been sober for 27 months. Best thing I did was go to confession every time I drank. That helped me to stop. Keep praying and trying to stop. God will help you.
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Chantal25
Guest
Sweet heart, remember that nothing is impossible to God. If he cans resuscitate the dead, ending the source of this addiction is nothing to him. Trust in him. I pray for you to bear this cross with faith, hope and love for our Lord.
I continue to pray for you and you will be in my prayer from time to time.
It is normal that you feel scare because if you think that it is up to you, yes, it seems lonely and quite overwhelming. You are with Jesus now, he is helping you. When the time is right and if this is God’s will, you will wake up with absolutely no desire at all to consume this substance again. In the mid time, trust in your best friend and your God.
(((((Blessings and love))))))
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JackieMom
Guest
No one likes AA at first. That’s why I recommended committing to 30 meetings in 30 days. You will always feel like you’re missing out until you get help. Every alcoholic worries that sober living will be a bore. You can get past that.
Another possibility is that you need more help initially than AA can offer. Do you suffer from depression or anxiety? You might need to go to rehab. You can meet with the staff of a rehab facility and they can help you determine if it’s right for you.
Another possibility is that you need more help initially than AA can offer. Do you suffer from depression or anxiety? You might need to go to rehab. You can meet with the staff of a rehab facility and they can help you determine if it’s right for you.
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Irishmom2
Guest
Good for you captainmike!
May the love of God keep you strong in your desire to remain sober.
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JackieMom
Guest
What??? No. You have to work for your sobriety. I have never heard of anyone just waking up “cured” of addiction. God’s will is for the OP to do whatever it takes for him to successfully stop drinking once and for all.
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Irishmom2
Guest
That sounds like a good idea JackieMom. I think that if someone goes every day, they will feel more a part of the group and not an outsider looking in once a week. I think the daily affirmation and continuity is what helps some people remain strong.
I think that is why rehab is good for some people too. They live thinking about and getting help for their issues every single day.
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Armor_of_Light
Guest
I see a few responses to this statement, but nobody asked what exactly you didn’t like about AA. So…?
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The_Bucket
Guest
Again, a total concurrence. OP, how is your life good now? You’ve posted repeatedly about this issue for the last few years. Wouldn’t you just rather have it out of your life entirely? What’s good about your drinking? What is beneficial about it?
Sure, I like to have a drink now and again, but guess what… I’m not addicted to it! I don’t binge drink. I don’t get plastered. I don’t drink every day or even once a week. Maybe a couple times a month. The last beer I had was during the Super Bowl. That’s proof positive right there that I’m not an alcoholic.
But you know what? I most certainly am a porn addict. That was indeed every day. I’d sneak downstairs early in the morning to look at porn while my wife was asleep. My life was dedicated to keeping my addiction a secret. I turned into a rage monster when my pattern of indulging in my addiction was disrupted and my anxiety level was insane.
Like you, I did not want to get into a recovery program. For me, I thought I was too good for it. I thought it would be too embarrassing to put the locks on the computer and not have a smart phone. I’m a grown man! I shouldn’t need that. BZZZT. Wrong. I most certainly did need it and I’m a better person for it. I’m a freer person. I’m a more joyous person.
My S-group is not in-line with the Church’s teaching on everything and I know that. But it’s a fantastic starting point. It’s proof-positive that I am not alone in my struggle and that my addiction did not make me a bad person. I am just a person who was doing bad things. Only if I persisted and did not seek out God’s help all the way until my death would I end up being a “bad person.”
I know you’ve got anxiety and social problems. I recall that from your previous posts. But go to AA. Just sit there and listen. Just take it in. All you have to do is say your name and “I’m an alcoholic.” Then just let everyone else talk. Do it over and over again. There’s plenty of guys in my S-group who didn’t talk for weeks or months except to say “I’m X, I’m a sex/porn addict and I’m here to listen” or something of that effect. You aren’t required to do anything in AA meetings. Just go and listen. Just as sitting in front of the blessed Sacrament has an effect through osmosis, so will going to AA meetings.
There’s more than one way to get sober, that’s certainly true. AA is not the only way. But unfortunately I still don’t think you’re at your bottom because you’re expressing fear that you won’t enjoy life sober. Rock bottom is when the fear of losing the comfort of your addiction is far outweighed by the fear of losing what your addiction is killing, which is generally your family, your job and/or your soul. Call again when you’re at that point. It’s an ugly, ugly point but I think you might need to get there.
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Chantal25
Guest
I did…
Nothing is impossible to God, nothing. He could split the red sea in half and do so much more. He even created the entire earth and you can name it.
I witnessed miracles, i have seen the impossible. It is up to God truly. We cannot think as human, but we do need to surrender to God’s will and trust him with all of our heart. Whatever the challenge we are given, it is the best challenge that we need. If you pray to set you free from an addiction and it isn’t against his divine plan, he will grant you when it is the right time. Otherwise, he will support you during this process. What ever God’s will is, it is the best for us.
Have faith in him!
Love and blessings!
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captainmike
Guest
Life is different sober, no doubt about it. Overall, though, it’s better. My marriage, job, and family life in general are all better without booze.
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mkipp
Guest
I tried AA, but everyone was 50 or older. It just felt awkward. I am so used to drinking, and worried I won’t like life without that buzz.
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KathleenGee
Guest
CaptainMike…
That is very good to hear that you went to confession every time you drank. I know somebody who does not want to go to AA but this smart recovery with professionals where it is about self-management. He quit and is drinking alot.
They miss out so much on the abundance of life around us. That is having Christ living within us.
God bless you and may Christ bless you ever so much with the greatness and beauty around us!
God Is Love!
That is very good to hear that you went to confession every time you drank. I know somebody who does not want to go to AA but this smart recovery with professionals where it is about self-management. He quit and is drinking alot.
They miss out so much on the abundance of life around us. That is having Christ living within us.
God bless you and may Christ bless you ever so much with the greatness and beauty around us!
God Is Love!
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The_Bucket
Guest
I’m the youngest person in my S-group. At least I was until someone fresh out of college did. For some perspective mkipp, I’m 27 and the average age in my S-group is probably somewhere around 45. There are guys in their 70s there. For quite some time I was definitely the youngest guy there and probably one of the youngest who had ever attended a meeting. That doesn’t mean I didn’t belong there because my problem was exactly the same.
And like I said, your fear of life without the buzz is proof-positive that you haven’t hit rock bottom. Rock bottom is when you are more scared OF your addiction than you are scared of losing its relative “comfort.” That comfort is an illusion by the way. It’s a lie told to you by Satan himself.
I had to nearly lose my entire family to get to that point. I pray you won’t have to undergo such heartbreak; but part of me hopes that you do face something like that. Because then you’ll be willing to surrender to God and start a much better life.
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JackieMom
Guest
There are usually many AA meetings in any given town. Often they have one just for men, just for women, for young people - the early AM and lunch time meetings tend to be older people and the evenings tend to be younger. If the meeting you attended wasn’t your thing, try another one! And another one! Go to the town over.
But hey, you might be able to learn a lot from the older guys. Many will be recently sober like you, and some will have 5,10,15,20 years sobriety! AA is an equalizer, everyone comes to the table with the same struggle and goal. 30 meetings in 30 days. If everyone only gave AA one or two tries, everyone would quit. And I guess the bottom line is - how badly do you want to overcome this?
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Armor_of_Light
Guest
Remember you have been ‘sober’ most of your life! (hopefully of course, unless you are a good stretch older than I am). You know how to live without it…you just forgot. You will remember once the fog has lifted. And I know this is blunt, but…
Does your life suck at this point? You don’t HAVE to end up in jail or with a failed marriage, etc…your ‘bottom’ is any point when you STOP DIGGING THE HOLE!
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The_Bucket
Guest
And by the way, ending up in jail or losing your family isn’t rock bottom for everyone. Just look at all the divorces out there. Look at all the drunks and drug addicts that go to jail, swear it all off and come right on back. Someone in my S-group got arrested once and that was his wake-up call. Look at all the other people clearly addicted to sex who just kept progressing in their addiction despite arrest and moved on to more depraved acts.
So don’t expect some outside event to magically make you stop. You have to choose it.
So don’t expect some outside event to magically make you stop. You have to choose it.
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SonCatcher
Guest
mkipp,
Consider the life of Venerable Matt Talbot. He enjoyed drink much in his early life. However, when he realized what a slave he had made himself to drink, he reformed his life. It took quite a bit of effort but he is now on the path to sainthood.
Consider the life of Venerable Matt Talbot. He enjoyed drink much in his early life. However, when he realized what a slave he had made himself to drink, he reformed his life. It took quite a bit of effort but he is now on the path to sainthood.
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Irishmom2
Guest
Their age, quite frankly is a cop out. If you had a disease and you went to a support group, would it really matter how old they were there? No. And mkipp, what you have described to us in all of your different threads through the years is a disease.
I think if you went to an AA group of people your own age, you could probably find a reason that they would make you uncomfortable too.
I think the real reason is the second thing you said, that you worry you won’t like life unless you are buzzed, so you won’t even try and get help from AA or any other group.
Do you hear what you are saying?
What are you trying to block out in life with the alcohol? Why is your life better when you are buzzed?
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The_Bucket
Guest
And for the record, anyone saying that calling addiction a disease is a “cop out” please note that it’s a disease of the soul and mind. Yes it can have physical manifestations but ultimately addiction makes one’s soul a slave to certain actions. As an addict I am not sick in a way where I can go take some medicine and feel better.
Even therapy is not necessarily going to cure me because my addiction is not just in my mind. It’s in my heart. It’s in my soul. It’s in the part of me that’s eternal. And that’s the scariest part and why it needs to be cut out, set on fire by the Holy Spirit and have its ashes thrown in the garbage. Then that garbage can needs to be chained down to keep it secure and thrown into a dumpster.
You’ve got to kill it and you know what? You’re not killing a part of your soul in the process. You’re letting your soul breathe again. Because as long as addiction has a hold of you, you’re not spiritually alive.
Even therapy is not necessarily going to cure me because my addiction is not just in my mind. It’s in my heart. It’s in my soul. It’s in the part of me that’s eternal. And that’s the scariest part and why it needs to be cut out, set on fire by the Holy Spirit and have its ashes thrown in the garbage. Then that garbage can needs to be chained down to keep it secure and thrown into a dumpster.
You’ve got to kill it and you know what? You’re not killing a part of your soul in the process. You’re letting your soul breathe again. Because as long as addiction has a hold of you, you’re not spiritually alive.
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SonCatcher
Guest
If my grandfather had taken care of his problem when he was your age instead of waiting until his grandchildren started having children, much pain could have been averted.
That link is from a different thread. It could do you well to read the whole thing.
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