Light of the World Retreat thoughts

[Kindnessmatters]

Over this past weekend I attended my first LOTW retreat. For those unfamiliar, it is offered by a Catholic non-profit and hosted at many parishes. At first, the organization runs it and over time, the church staff and/or volunteers take more responsibility until they finally run it independently. My parish has offered it for many years.

To greatly simplify, it is structured as a review of our baptism, first reconciliation and communion, and confirmation. With a series of speakers, small group talks, meals, mass and opportunities to spend time in adoration chapel and make a confession.

I overall was impressed and enjoyed the event over the course of two full days plus an evening.
However, particularlyy starting midway through day two I started feeling very uncomfortable as there emerged this expectation by the volunteers that this retreat would be “life changing” for each of us. It was meant to be Catholic evangelization, but I never have associated Catholicism with the reborn Christian movement, which this seemed to turn into.

Before I knew it people were putting hands on my shoulders and praying into my ear, and had multiple moments of giving me blessings and/or blessed objects (a candle, then another day a cross necklace) accompanied by individual whispered prayers and hugs as well as “congratulations” as if I had actually accomplished a sacrament. The final thing was to ask each of us (big group) how the retreat “changed our lives”.

At a certain point, the idea of revisiting and refreshing our understanding, providing context and scholarship about sacraments, this group seemed to think we needed to do them over…like it didn’t count the first time but now we are reborn. It really bothered me and felt sacralige. Why congratulate me in making confession and communion at 55 when I first did both as a kid?

I was not sure how to react as the volunteers were very giving of their time and personal experiences, and were clearly sincere, but I was not seeking cleansing or rebirth and felt zero need to clear the air with God. I was there to learn and reflect and take time to put my faith ahead of all else as a spiritual break in my busy life, but hate being touched and hugged by strangers and personally prayed over…it feels sappy and goofy and the silliness of it mocks my mature relationship with my faith, church and God because it’s so insufferably drenched in forced meaning.

I am now getting asked to participate in planning the next retreat (already) and am not sure how to respond.

It would be a great experience without the laying of hands, hugs, praying in people’s ears, Stepford-wife-like smiling into individual’s eyes and this ideation that it will “change our lives”. I wanted to say “I was raised Catholic…we are not touchy-feely and overly demonstrative”. To me, our sacraments, sacramentals, history and tradition are rich and meaningful enough and need nothing added. How do others feel about this? I don’t want to be a “reborn Catholic”.

 

[Peeps]

Your experience was similar to mine. We sound like we were separated at birth!

I agree that there is a lot of expectation that the retreat will change our lives. I know that for many Catholics in the group, it DID help them to make changes–getting back into prayer, Bible study, study of the saints and/or the Catechism, making a good Confession for the first time years and vowing to continue regular Reconciliation, making commitments to get involved in an active way with their parish, re-committing themselves to their marriage partner, children, or to their vocation (all of our priests have attended LOTW retreats in the last 15 years), etc.

But I grew up Evangelical Protestant, and I attended the LOTW retreat only a few weeks before I was received into the Catholic Church. For me, it felt like Evangelical Protestantism, and I did not like it. I had been deeply and seriously hurt by the last Evangelical Protestant church that we attended, and I had a very difficult time experiencing what felt “dangerous” to me.

It’s only in the last few years that I’ve begun to feel comfortable with Evangelical Protestant churches again (I play piano/organ in different churches, including Evangelical Protestant).

On the other hand, my husband, who was received in to the Catholic Church along with me, LOVED LOTW retreat! He’s from a Pentecostal background, and to him, the retreat was comfortable, safe, encouraging, and helpful to him. He loved the people and stuck with his group for many years in weekly meetings–they are still friendly with each other even though they don’t meet regularly anymore.

I think it’s like anything else in the Church–some people will love it, others will dislike it either a little or a lot, and others will simply say, “Meh, it was OK.”

 

[Kindnessmatters]

Yes…there were some lovely moments but it did not change me in any way. Too Evangelical)pushy and the laying of hands creeped me out.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Looked at the website, it does strike me as if it is based on a “personal improvement” sort of corporate retreat. I read the BOD and team members, have never heard of or seen a book written by any of them.

Makes me worry for those who are weak in the Faith, when they do not get the feels and they see no change in their lives. Could be dangerous to set people up for a fall.

Also, it is NOT inexpensive for a parish.

Not every retreat is for everyone. I think both you and I would rather go have a cup of coffee and read a good book after Adoration than participate.

 

[Kindnessmatters]

I don’t want to trash it…it is beneficial in a lot of ways. I just wish they would dial back the promises and “life changing” expectations and just let it be what it is for each person.

Skip touching, hugging, whispering to and moon-faced gazing at individual participants (especially during flu season). Perhaps just hand us the blessed gifts without the individual prayers and hugs, making the sign of the cross in each other’s foreheads, and photo ops as if we accomplished something. Don’t put individuals on the spot to be meaningful.

When pressed to talk about how meaningful it was to me, I said I did not experience an “aha” moment but the retreat fit in well with an already ten year plus process of returning to the church, and getting to know some people in the parish. I mentioned that many speakers gave me food for thought and it will take a while to digest all the readings and so on. I was satisfied that was the truth as I saw it.

To my annoyance, a guy I really like and respect “corrected” my use of the phrase “aha moment” and replaced it with “God moment”. Well, the retreat included time in adoration, confession and mass. During a break, I lit a votive for my late father. These were certainly “God moments” but had nothing to do with retreat and everything to do with sacraments and traditions that I regularly practice but had a chance to do during retreat as well. I meant I had no big new breakthroughs, NOT that God was absent from my sacraments and prayer life. His “correction” was wrong and annoying. Again…trying too hard to infuse meaning that wasn’t there.

 

[Peeps]

Looked at the website, it does strike me as if it is based on a “personal improvement” sort of corporate retreat. I read the BOD and team members, have never heard of or seen a book written by any of them.

I personally know the people who were involved with starting the Light of the World retreat in Northern Illinois.

They are wonderful people, fine, solid Catholics, who were pivotal in helping me and my husband to get through a very difficult time after our Evangelical Protestant church kicked us out (remember, we were "Evangelicals of Evangelicals, uber-involved with our church and busy almost every evening or day off with some service ministry in our church).

These Catholics also were our main cheerleaders in helping us to get to a place where we decided to become Catholic. They didn’t coerce us, trick us, brainwash us, or argue with us. They simply loved us right where we were, and continue to love us!

Of course they haven’t written books. They’re just ordinary folks, not professional authors. They have jobs (or at least did–now that they’re older, they’re retired!). They have families, children, older folks. And they’re not writers. They’re Catholic parishioners who were given a task by the Holy Spirit–developing a retreat.

I would say that perhaps because Northern Illinois is the location of one of the largest Evangelical Protestant megachurches in the U.S., the Lord helped the Catholics create a retreat that would reach out to people who were already used to this kind of worship and didn’t find it strange.

I personally dislike the “megachurch” worship "experience and because of our horrific experiences in our last Evangelical church (before we left and spend several years learning about Catholicism!), I was distrustful of some of the retreat experiences. I will probably always be distrustful of churches, even my beloved Catholic Church, after what we lived through. We thought our Evangelical Protestant pastors and fellow members were loving Christian people, and instead, they turned out to be…let’s just say, not loving. It’s making me upset even now to remember it.

But the people who developed the LOTW retreats are great people, solid Catholics, loving and humble and should be trusted.

 

[Kindnessmatters]

I didn’t distrust the people. I simply don’t like the “reborn” style evangelism…Catholicism does not promote the idea of being born again, baptised again, etc. As a Catholic, I was not raised to be so demonstrative or huggy/kissy and things like laying hands on each other in prayer is simply not of Catholic tradition… Even priests rarely lay hands on us in prsyer…thinking about it, they sometimes make a cross on the parishioner’s forehead with oil such as at baptism and annointing of the sick, and with ashes on Ash Wednesday, but day to day, it would be unusual. For the laity, it simply isn’t what most of us have ever done. I have put my hand on another person in prayer only once in my 55 years…my father, as he received annointing of the sick in the hours before his death, and then only at the direction of the priest.

I am reserved and it feels more genuine to me to remain reserved.

The cost to our parish is not an issue…people are willing to pay and the sponsors spent a lot of time and effort. Attendees were not charged at all, though six very nice meals and snacks and two gifts were given to us (we did make donations). It is not a money-making venture…nothing was asked from us. Even donations were barely mentioned and only mentioned at all because we asked.

I live very near the megachurch you are referencing.- Willow Creek. I have attended functions there. I have nothing negative to say about them either, but it is not Catholicism. I know many members there and they are also genuine people, but very much of the Evangelical, reborn movement. Some members I have know since I was a child. Several turned away from addiction and other bad paths with that church so, while I personally only believe in my one true church, I do respect what they do there to help people. Better that church that no church. They are seeking God as well.

 

[Peeps]

I’m glad to hear it.

My main purpose in posting my description of the people who created LOTW retreat is to make sure that others on this forum realize that they are truly good and faithful Catholics, submissive to the Church and the bishops, humble and willing to be used by the Lord Jesus.

We’ve all seen “Catholics” who wrote books, started some kind of organization or “club” or movement, etc.–that turned out to be simply an attempt to become famous and possibly rich. That is definitely NOT the case with these people.

In other words, I’m speaking up for my friends!

Kindnessmatters, even if you are clear about their motives and are simply expressing your feelings of reserve, which I have already said that I share–I think it’s possible that other CAF members could get the idea that LOTW is “shady” or “questionable” and that the people who created it were not entirely “Catholic.” This isn’t true. LOTW is truly Catholic and good–but not necessarily for all Catholics.

 

[Kindnessmatters]

I made your point very clear but I think they ARE in error with this forced “this is life changing” ideation and in employing “Willow Creek” “reborn Christian style” methods in a Catholic retreat.