Like-minded people

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Cassandra_Lyn

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I would say I am at the very beginning of my spiritual journey. I am 31 and just became a Christian back in August. I am finally going to attend my first Mass this Sunday (technically, it will be my second, because I went to a wedding in a Catholic church back in September)

I want to go to church, first and foremost, to worship God and to have a closer relationship to Him. But I also want Christian community in my life. I hope to make friends and eventually meet a man who will become my husband one day, perhaps.

This is to say I hope to meet like-minded people, those like myself who want to honor God through the way we live out our lives…

I am not so naive as to assume every person I meet through the church is going to be a devout Christian or even a reasonably good person, because I have met Catholics in the past who didn’t live their lives very well. They were just so very angry and bitter.

I realize that I will be attending mass along with people who are in all different stages of life as well as in different stages of their spiritual journey… I envision a lot of them basically going through the motions of getting up on Sunday mornings and dragging in to church because… it would disappoint certain individuals, whether family, friend or neighbor, if they didn’t do that… It’s perhaps a face-saving thing, like “I better go to church because if I don’t go every so-and-so and their mother is going to ask me why I didn’t go”

So I have no illusions that as I head in to this new community it will be filled with happy smiling good people who won’t do me wrong… I guess what I’m wondering is… two things… Do you find a lot of like-minded people in your church? That is, people who honor God by the way they live their lives and really care about helping their Christian brothers and sisters to do the same? Do you find your church to be a mix of that and also some other elements?

How do you deal with the other element? Meaning, those bitter people who show up because they feel like they have to, but seem to have no interest in leading a Christian lifestyle.
 
Re-reading this, it sounds terrible… Am I making any sense? I’m not trying to judge others, I just have this fear in the back of my mind that what I’m looking for I am not going to find. Like, what if there aren’t that many people who are genuine in their faith and I make this Church the center of my social life and come to find that I’m associating with the same types of people I’d meet anywhere else. Do you know what I mean?
 
I know exactly what you mean. The only thing I have to offer is a quote from the Trappist monk Thomas Merton–“We have what we seek, it is there all the time, and if we give it time, it will make itself known to us.”
May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be well. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you be happy.
 
Everyone’s at a different stage in their spiritual journey, and I try not to judge them if they’re still at the “Mom’s making me go” stage. Luckily, I haven’t met too many such people. I’ve found that most people who care enough to go to Mass regularly have at least a basic respect for the Church and her teachings.
 
Another insecurity that I have… is it unrealistic to anticipate making friends there? I’m not talking like I’m gonna go up to someone and introduce myself and chit-chat. I think if I find ways to contribute and help and to DO for the church, I will end up working with people and form friendships over time… I don’t see myself JUST socializing, if you see what I’m saying?
 
Cassandra_Lyn said:
Another insecurity that I have… is it unrealistic to anticipate making friends there? I’m not talking like I’m gonna go up to someone and introduce myself and chit-chat. I think if I find ways to contribute and help and to DO for the church, I will end up working with people and form friendships over time… I don’t see myself JUST socializing, if you see what I’m saying?
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It’s not unrealistic at all! You couldn’t ask for a better place to make friends and establish lasting relationships. That’s part of the reason I went to a Catholic college; the bond between students is much stronger when we have the Church in common.
 
Cassandra_Lyn said:
I am not so naive as to assume every person I meet through the church is going to be a devout Christian or even a reasonably good person, because I have met Catholics in the past who didn’t live their lives very well. They were just so very angry and bitter.

I found this to be true, too.

Do you find a lot of like-minded people in your church? That is, people who honor God by the way they live their lives and really care about helping their Christian brothers and sisters to do the same?

No. I have travelled Christiandom in my half century on this earth, I have always found a handful of faithful that go to church. I also know faithful who do not step inside churches.

How do you deal with the other element? Meaning, those bitter people who show up because they feel like they have to, but seem to have no interest in leading a Christian lifestyle.

**I smile and wave at them. They never reciprocate. You will know them by their fruits. **
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You may find a difference in people’s attitude if you move around different Parishers ,
Many years ago I moved to a particular parish, and thought. I was on another planet,
Then went to the next door parish and blended in on day one, good luck,🙂
 
Cassandra_Lyn said:
Another insecurity that I have… is it unrealistic to anticipate making friends there? I’m not talking like I’m gonna go up to someone and introduce myself and chit-chat. I think if I find ways to contribute and help and to DO for the church, I will end up working with people and form friendships over time… I don’t see myself JUST socializing, if you see what I’m saying?
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You will make friends, but please keep in mind that Catholic parishes are usually big and busy, especially on Sunday morning during Mass times. Don’t be offended or upset if people do not notice or recognize you for several weeks; chances are no will know that you are new the first few times you go. Your best way of meeting people is to join an organization or a ministry. Some parishes serve coffee and donuts or some kind of breakfast after Sunday morning Mass, attending that will be a good start to meeting people. Welcome Home! I hope you will consider enrolling in the RCIA program soon.
 
Cassandra_Lyn said:
I would say I am at the very beginning of my spiritual journey. I am 31 and just became a Christian back in August. I am finally going to attend my first Mass this Sunday (technically, it will be my second, because I went to a wedding in a Catholic church back in September)

I want to go to church, first and foremost, to worship God and to have a closer relationship to Him. But I also want Christian community in my life. I hope to make friends and eventually meet a man who will become my husband one day, perhaps.

This is to say I hope to meet like-minded people, those like myself who want to honor God through the way we live out our lives…

I am not so naive as to assume every person I meet through the church is going to be a devout Christian or even a reasonably good person, because I have met Catholics in the past who didn’t live their lives very well. They were just so very angry and bitter.

I realize that I will be attending mass along with people who are in all different stages of life as well as in different stages of their spiritual journey… I envision a lot of them basically going through the motions of getting up on Sunday mornings and dragging in to church because… it would disappoint certain individuals, whether family, friend or neighbor, if they didn’t do that… It’s perhaps a face-saving thing, like “I better go to church because if I don’t go every so-and-so and their mother is going to ask me why I didn’t go”

So I have no illusions that as I head in to this new community it will be filled with happy smiling good people who won’t do me wrong… I guess what I’m wondering is… two things… Do you find a lot of like-minded people in your church? That is, people who honor God by the way they live their lives and really care about helping their Christian brothers and sisters to do the same? Do you find your church to be a mix of that and also some other elements?

How do you deal with the other element? Meaning, those bitter people who show up because they feel like they have to, but seem to have no interest in leading a Christian lifestyle.
Click to expand...
OK so the real question remains; why are you going to Mass?
And are you in danger of judging others?
And how much do you trust God?
 
Cassandra_Lyn said:
I would say I am at the very beginning of my spiritual journey. I am 31 and just became a Christian back in August. I am finally going to attend my first Mass this Sunday (technically, it will be my second, because I went to a wedding in a Catholic church back in September)

I want to go to church, first and foremost, to worship God and to have a closer relationship to Him. But I also want Christian community in my life. I hope to make friends and eventually meet a man who will become my husband one day, perhaps.

This is to say I hope to meet like-minded people, those like myself who want to honor God through the way we live out our lives…

I am not so naive as to assume every person I meet through the church is going to be a devout Christian or even a reasonably good person, because I have met Catholics in the past who didn’t live their lives very well. They were just so very angry and bitter.

I realize that I will be attending mass along with people who are in all different stages of life as well as in different stages of their spiritual journey… I envision a lot of them basically going through the motions of getting up on Sunday mornings and dragging in to church because… it would disappoint certain individuals, whether family, friend or neighbor, if they didn’t do that… It’s perhaps a face-saving thing, like “I better go to church because if I don’t go every so-and-so and their mother is going to ask me why I didn’t go”

So I have no illusions that as I head in to this new community it will be filled with happy smiling good people who won’t do me wrong… I guess what I’m wondering is… two things… Do you find a lot of like-minded people in your church? That is, people who honor God by the way they live their lives and really care about helping their Christian brothers and sisters to do the same? Do you find your church to be a mix of that and also some other elements?

How do you deal with the other element? Meaning, those bitter people who show up because they feel like they have to, but seem to have no interest in leading a Christian lifestyle.
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Perhaps joining a group at the church, that you would meet others in will help. Eventually you will find some that are on the “same page” as yourself.

And yet, we need to be charitable to others who do not understand their faith too clearly, and who may pick and choose what they want to obey. It doesn’t mean we pretend to agree with them, but you can give them a reason for why you obey the Church’s teachings on faith and morals. Prayerfully, we can be an example to them, and we can practice patience. 🙂 If they get upset when you do this calmly, then so be it.
 
What is the old saying? A Church is a hospital for sinners, not a showplace for saints? Everyone whom you meet as Church is on their own journey. You and I don’t know their stories, their past, their problems. Don’t judge them. They are there for the same reason as you and I, because Christ is there.
 
PaulfromIowa said:
What is the old saying? A Church is a hospital for sinners, not a showplace for saints? Everyone whom you meet as Church is on their own journey. You and I don’t know their stories, their past, their problems. Don’t judge them. They are there for the same reason as you and I, because Christ is there.
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It’s not that I wish to judge, but I hope that I am able to recognize if I become associated with people who might pull me away from God (gossip is probably the main problem I foresee running in to)
 
Rosebud77 said:
OK so the real question remains; why are you going to Mass?
And are you in danger of judging others?
And how much do you trust God?
Click to expand...
Attending Mass as a way to worship, not to find fellowship. Like I said, I respect that that is not the time to be focusing on the people beside me, we should all be focusing on the same thing.

I try not to judge others but hope to be able to recognize when someone isn’t going to be a positive influence on my Christian journey, ie being a gossip.

I trust that God has led me to the Catholic church, but if I want fellowship in my life, I need to pursue that, but I realize it will require some discernment on my part… I know a lot of people who call themselves Christians whose energy just makes me feel sick before they even speak.
 
Cassandra_Lyn said:
I would say I am at the very beginning of my spiritual journey. I am 31 and just became a Christian back in August. I am finally going to attend my first Mass this Sunday (technically, it will be my second, because I went to a wedding in a Catholic church back in September)

I want to go to church, first and foremost, to worship God and to have a closer relationship to Him. But I also want Christian community in my life. I hope to make friends and eventually meet a man who will become my husband one day, perhaps.

This is to say I hope to meet like-minded people, those like myself who want to honor God through the way we live out our lives…

I am not so naive as to assume every person I meet through the church is going to be a devout Christian or even a reasonably good person, because I have met Catholics in the past who didn’t live their lives very well. They were just so very angry and bitter.

I realize that I will be attending mass along with people who are in all different stages of life as well as in different stages of their spiritual journey… I envision a lot of them basically going through the motions of getting up on Sunday mornings and dragging in to church because… it would disappoint certain individuals, whether family, friend or neighbor, if they didn’t do that… It’s perhaps a face-saving thing, like “I better go to church because if I don’t go every so-and-so and their mother is going to ask me why I didn’t go”

So I have no illusions that as I head in to this new community it will be filled with happy smiling good people who won’t do me wrong… I guess what I’m wondering is… two things… Do you find a lot of like-minded people in your church? That is, people who honor God by the way they live their lives and really care about helping their Christian brothers and sisters to do the same? Do you find your church to be a mix of that and also some other elements?

How do you deal with the other element? Meaning, those bitter people who show up because they feel like they have to, but seem to have no interest in leading a Christian lifestyle.
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YES, I do find a lot of like minded people in my church.
But frankly, it’s none of my business. That’s between them, God, and their confessor.
Look inward and you progress more swiftly in spirituality,
Comparisons never satisfy.
 
Cassandra_Lyn said:
It’s not that I wish to judge, but I hope that I am able to recognize if I become associated with people who might pull me away from God (gossip is probably the main problem I foresee running in to)
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I’m sure you will be able to recognise that.

It is definitely possible to make friends. My dearest friends are people I met at church, some twenty years ago, others more recently. These are definitely the strongest friendship bonds I have.
 
I feel like my chances of meeting good people in the church might be about equal to that of meeting them outside the church…

I do think I am more likely to meet a man who values marriage.
 
Cassandra_Lyn said:
I feel like my chances of meeting good people in the church might be about equal to that of meeting them outside the church…

I do think I am more likely to meet a man who values marriage.
Click to expand...
If that’s why you are going, you’re doing it all wrong.
Be the person someone else wants to meet.
But be in church for Christ.
Gossip is incredibly easy to avoid.
Just don’t go there. Period.
Get involved in some ministry, like reading, or cleaning the church. You’ll meet lots of nice people. But it’s not THE place to meet a man. It can happen, but that’s not the purpose of worship. I guess you know this.
Just don’t worry about others, worry only about how you present yourself to the Lord. Everything else will solve itself.
 
Cassandra_Lyn said:
I would say I am at the very beginning of my spiritual journey. I am 31 and just became a Christian back in August. I am finally going to attend my first Mass this Sunday (technically, it will be my second, because I went to a wedding in a Catholic church back in September)

I want to go to church, first and foremost, to worship God and to have a closer relationship to Him. But I also want Christian community in my life. I hope to make friends and eventually meet a man who will become my husband one day, perhaps.

This is to say I hope to meet like-minded people, those like myself who want to honor God through the way we live out our lives…

I am not so naive as to assume every person I meet through the church is going to be a devout Christian or even a reasonably good person, because I have met Catholics in the past who didn’t live their lives very well. They were just so very angry and bitter.

I realize that I will be attending mass along with people who are in all different stages of life as well as in different stages of their spiritual journey… I envision a lot of them basically going through the motions of getting up on Sunday mornings and dragging in to church because… it would disappoint certain individuals, whether family, friend or neighbor, if they didn’t do that… It’s perhaps a face-saving thing, like “I better go to church because if I don’t go every so-and-so and their mother is going to ask me why I didn’t go”

So I have no illusions that as I head in to this new community it will be filled with happy smiling good people who won’t do me wrong… I guess what I’m wondering is… two things… Do you find a lot of like-minded people in your church? That is, people who honor God by the way they live their lives and really care about helping their Christian brothers and sisters to do the same? Do you find your church to be a mix of that and also some other elements?

How do you deal with the other element? Meaning, those bitter people who show up because they feel like they have to, but seem to have no interest in leading a Christian lifestyle.
Click to expand...
well, going to church is no longer the social expectation it once used to be. so unless, there are a bunch of sullen teenagers, chances are, mom’s not making them go.

but you are primarily going for God, you will meet some like-minded people for sure so don’t worry about it too much. and yes, generally if you get involved in some ministry, you will find many faith-filled people there
 
pianistclare said:
If that’s why you are going, you’re doing it all wrong.
Be the person someone else wants to meet.
But be in church for Christ.
Gossip is incredibly easy to avoid.
Just don’t go there. Period.
Get involved in some ministry, like reading, or cleaning the church. You’ll meet lots of nice people. But it’s not THE place to meet a man. It can happen, but that’s not the purpose of worship. I guess you know this.
Just don’t worry about others, worry only about how you present yourself to the Lord. Everything else will solve itself.
Click to expand...
I don’t know how else to say it. I am going to church first and foremost to worship God.

I believe that if I ever meet the sort of person I want to marry, I am more than likely going to meet him in the Catholic church.

Nowhere have I said that is why I am going to church.
 
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