Lingerie bridal shower

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Iheartcoffee

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I just got invited to one recently. I am a bridesmaid so it’s hard to get out of it. Personally, I feel it is a bit inappropriate to have a whole party dedicated to stocking the bride’s honeymoon lingerie collection. It isn’t going to be a wild bachelorette party. It will be punch and cookies and probably very tame. I still just have some misgivings about this though.

Why can’t people just have normal bridal showers where I am only obligated to buy them some mixing bowls off of their registry? I actually enjoy buying housewares! I really really don’t want to have to go buy lingerie for my friend’s honeymoon.

Has anyone else dealt with these kinds of invitations?
 
Iheartcoffee said:
I just got invited to one recently. I am a bridesmaid so it’s hard to get out of it. Personally, I feel it is a bit inappropriate to have a whole party dedicated to stocking the bride’s honeymoon lingerie collection. It isn’t going to be a wild bachelorette party. It will be punch and cookies and probably very tame. I still just have some misgivings about this though.
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I am totally with you on this. I think lingerie is so personal and intimate, a party for specifically this is just not appropriate (not to mention tacky). I mean seriously, how does one react when the bride to be pulls out crochless panties and a corset from her future sister in law? 😊:rolleyes:
Why can’t people just have normal bridal showers where I am only obligated to buy them some mixing bowls off of their registry? I actually enjoy buying housewares! I really really don’t want to have to go buy lingerie for my friend’s honeymoon.
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Buy them two copies of “Three to Get Married” by Fulton Sheen with a little card that says “for some evening reading together”. But I agree - I’d much rather buy housewares too!! 👍
Has anyone else dealt with these kinds of invitations?
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Yes - I typically find a reason to not go.

Good luck!!! Being in the bridal party makes it tough. 😉

~Liza
 
lizaanne said:
I am totally with you on this. I think lingerie is so personal and intimate, a party for specifically this is just not appropriate (not to mention tacky). I mean seriously, how does one react when the bride to be pulls out crochless panties and a corset from her future sister in law? 😊:rolleyes:

Buy them two copies of “Three to Get Married” by Fulton Sheen with a little card that says “for some evening reading together”. But I agree - I’d much rather buy housewares too!! 👍

Yes - I typically find a reason to not go.

Good luck!!! Being in the bridal party makes it tough. 😉

~Liza
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Where did you get “crotchless panties” out of “punch and cookies and probably very tame?”
 
Iheartcoffee said:
I just got invited to one recently. I am a bridesmaid so it’s hard to get out of it. Personally, I feel it is a bit inappropriate to have a whole party dedicated to stocking the bride’s honeymoon lingerie collection. It isn’t going to be a wild bachelorette party. It will be punch and cookies and probably very tame. I still just have some misgivings about this though.

Why can’t people just have normal bridal showers where I am only obligated to buy them some mixing bowls off of their registry? I actually enjoy buying housewares! I really really don’t want to have to go buy lingerie for my friend’s honeymoon.

Has anyone else dealt with these kinds of invitations?
Click to expand...
I actually think something like this could be very nice for a bride. I would be uncomfortable if I was the bride and a bunch of my relatives were invited, but for a woman who has been single for many years and lives on her own - she probably already has all the house goods she needs. I don’t think these types of parties have to be tacky or “dirty” in any way.

That said, I can definitely understand being uncomfortable with it, even if you’re a close friend of the bride (assuming so since you’re a bridesmaid.) Maybe you could get her a nice book on Catholic marriage and intimacy. Still fits the theme, but isn’t quite so “personal.”
 
I can see why the you’re not keen on the idea! I feel uncomfortable with some wedding albums now, where there are shots of the bride’s corset and suspender belt and stockings laid out on the bed and of the bride putting on her make-up and wandering around in a bath robe too. I can’t see why anyone would feel the need to share those kind of details with anyone.

You could always rebel and bring her a pair of warm, flannel long-johns and tell her that frilly things are all very well, but married life is about being warm and practical too 😛
 
silicasandra said:
I actually think something like this could be very nice for a bride. I would be uncomfortable if I was the bride and a bunch of my relatives were invited, but for a woman who has been single for many years and lives on her own - she probably already has all the house goods she needs. I don’t think these types of parties have to be tacky or “dirty” in any way.

That said, I can definitely understand being uncomfortable with it, even if you’re a close friend of the bride (assuming so since you’re a bridesmaid.) Maybe you could get her a nice book on Catholic marriage and intimacy. Still fits the theme, but isn’t quite so “personal.”
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Totally agree!!! I went to one where the bride’s favorite piece of “lingerie” was an oversized Aggie sleepshirt (I happen to have the same shirt and we were joking about having an old-fashioned girls’ slumber party and all wearing them.) I think it really depends on the company. If your friends really know you and your personality well, they’re not going to go for the crotchless panties and the like. They’ll go for classy pieces with maybe a few tasteful joke pieces thrown in.

I liken it to the bachelorette party – if I were to have one, my friends would know I would like a nice, quiet evening out for dinner and drinks and then maybe head to a hotel for a girls’ night spent watching chick flicks (actually did that for a friend several years ago) and would totally uncomfortable bar hopping – because that’s not my personality.

I guess the moral of the story: Brides choose your friends well!!!
 
I am glad that I am not the only one that feels uncomfortable with this. I absolutely love my friend and I know she has “waited for marriage” so the honeymoon is something to look forward to, but I kind of just don’t feel it is my place to buy her honeymoon lingerie. Shouldn’t that aspect of one’s marriage stay a bit more private? If someone had tried to throw one of those showers for me I would have told them that is none of their business! I have been thinking that if I have to go I may just get a gift card for a nice department store so she can pick out something herself and I don’t have to do it.
 
Tarpeian_Rock said:
Where did you get “crotchless panties” out of “punch and cookies and probably very tame?”
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As a veteran of quite a few of these bridal showers, middle-aged female here, it’s usually what happens. One or two people, sometimes more, will bring “questionable” or downright tacky gifts. :o
 
If you feel you need to go, buy her a nice nightgown and/or robe. Or just buy off the registry, and don’t worry about the others.

Did she suggest this? She should have had veto power. If she’s ok with it, then your only real options are to attend or not…
 
Lingerie isn’t limited to suggestive apparel. Some girls run around in oversized Tees which is fine but now is the time for something special. There are lovely nightgowns all over the place. Check out the pretty ones and the pjs with matching tops, or flannels gowns for winter plus robes, slippers, lingerie bags, padded hangers, sachets, French soaps, towel wrap for after the shower, a pretty shower cap, body cream etc.

What’s wrong with new underwear? She shouldn’t go to her husband with the old worn stuff and he shouldn’t come to her with holes in his drawers either. And if she doesn’t get a couple of pretty things before her wedding, she probably will never have them after. Most of us do put everyone else first. 👍
 
Iheartcoffee said:
I just got invited to one recently. I am a bridesmaid so it’s hard to get out of it. Personally, I feel it is a bit inappropriate to have a whole party dedicated to stocking the bride’s honeymoon lingerie collection. It isn’t going to be a wild bachelorette party. It will be punch and cookies and probably very tame. I still just have some misgivings about this though.

Why can’t people just have normal bridal showers where I am only obligated to buy them some mixing bowls off of their registry? I actually enjoy buying housewares! I really really don’t want to have to go buy lingerie for my friend’s honeymoon.

Has anyone else dealt with these kinds of invitations?
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I don’t understand why you think it’s so offensive, as the marital embrace is far from it, and only the women are invited to these things. Lingerie comes in many different types, surely you can find something off her registery that isn’t offensive to you. But everyone is different. So if it bothers you that much, make an excuse to not go and just send a gift off the registry 🙂 Just remember it’s about the bride, not the bridesmaids 🙂
 
Be a good sport. Go together with another bridesmaid or two and buy her a very pretty newlywed dressing robe. With all this lingerie coming in, she’ll need one of those, too.
 
Iheartcoffee said:
I just got invited to one recently. I am a bridesmaid so it’s hard to get out of it. Personally, I feel it is a bit inappropriate to have a whole party dedicated to stocking the bride’s honeymoon lingerie collection. It isn’t going to be a wild bachelorette party. It will be punch and cookies and probably very tame. I still just have some misgivings about this though.

Why can’t people just have normal bridal showers where I am only obligated to buy them some mixing bowls off of their registry? I actually enjoy buying housewares! I really really don’t want to have to go buy lingerie for my friend’s honeymoon.

Has anyone else dealt with these kinds of invitations?
Click to expand...
by them a catholic marriage booklet and throw in a garter 😛
 
Why would someone have one of these? The answer is easy to me. Lingerie is expensive, weddings are expensive, cash is short prior to marriage, and they want something special to wear for their new husband. I totally would have had one if I was able to, unfortunately I had no bridal showers what-so-ever due to the fact my husband and I were paying for our wedding so we couldn’t afford to throw one and no one was going to throw one for me. When I got married, I had no special lingerie except for one little outfit my Mom took me to get. I was a little sad that I only had one thing special to wear for my hubby and couldn’t afford to buy more for quite a while (after paying for a wedding and for some costs involved in moving across the country). We didn’t get a honeymoon either, so it would have been nice to have several special outfits to wear for my new hubby.

If you are uncomfortable buying such things, get them a gift card, a nice satin nightgown, a nice robe, or some romantic items like candles, scented bubble bath, perfume, ect. I really don’t think it is that out of line for someone to want to have some special things to wear for their new husband especially when those things are expensive and they can’t afford it, or if they have all the housewares they need and so more would just be sitting around.

My sister had one and she got lots of cute things to wear for her hubby and nothing was crazy and everything was tasteful. Generally you know the people who would get something inappropriate and those people are just not invited.
 
Iheartcoffee said:
I just got invited to one recently. I am a bridesmaid so it’s hard to get out of it. Personally, I feel it is a bit inappropriate to have a whole party dedicated to stocking the bride’s honeymoon lingerie collection. It isn’t going to be a wild bachelorette party. It will be punch and cookies and probably very tame. I still just have some misgivings about this though.

Why can’t people just have normal bridal showers where I am only obligated to buy them some mixing bowls off of their registry? I actually enjoy buying housewares! I really really don’t want to have to go buy lingerie for my friend’s honeymoon.

Has anyone else dealt with these kinds of invitations?
Click to expand...
Never got invitation for such events but would love to visit. I will look after them now
 
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