List from an examination of conscience?

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Fan_of_Trent

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Hello Everyone,

I was born and raised Catholic (Novus Ordo) and received all of the normal sacraments in typical fashion, including the Sacrament of Reconciliation prior to receiving my first Communion. Unfortunately, the theological aspects and spiritual ramifications of not going to Confession were not something I remember hearing much about and no one that I knew in my fairly large Parish went to confessional at all, never mind regularly. I fell away from the Church as something of a “Cafeteria Catholic” for some years, but my faith was revitalized when I came across the Tridentine Mass and began to study it and more so when I started to actually attend the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass in the Extraordinary Form (Indeed, I believe it is the most beautiful thing this side of heaven).

Through prayer and reflection and as part of the expunging of my “cafeteria” approach to the faith, I have decided that I want very much to begin going to confession again as I have realized the true importance of the Sacrament of Penance to my soul.

So the reason this is in the Traditional Catholicism forum rather than the Sacramental Forum is that today is the day (my 24th birthday by chance) that I am going to return to the confessional in over 15 years at my new FSSP Parish, which was established as the official EF Parish of the archdiocese (after the Holy Father’s Motu Proprio). I’ve used some of the resources on this site and others, as well as my traditional missal to do a thorough examination of conscience and as one would expect my sins are many, so I wrote them down. I think I read in another post that a Priest did not permit the person to use a list, and I’m a bit afraid that may happen, especially because this a traditional Parish. I don’t want to leave out the mortal sins that I have come to acknowledge through prayer and reflection that I am most certainly guilty of. Has anybody else had any experience with lists in the confessional, particularly in a traditional Catholic environment?

I know I will be every bit as contrite and sincere as if I had no list at all, but I feel having my list at least as a guide would really help me get everything out so I can, through penance, be in a state of grace for the first time in a long time and to be able to reverentially and licitly receive the Holy Eucharist at Mass. Thank you and God Bless.

Brandon
 
If you think you need to bring a list, bring a list. I’ve only read about someone being told to put the list away once on this forum. When you start your confession, you’re always supposed to say how long it’s been since your last confession, so if it’s been that long, you might want to say that you think you need to depend on the list so you don’t forget anything. The priest may be supportive of the use of a list, or he may be neutral or noncommital about it. And bring a pen light–it’s dark in a traditional booth-style confessional. You don’t have to read from the list, in fact, you might want to consult it before you go into the confessional to refresh your memory.

If you need to make a list, make it on a piece of paper and destroy it afterward (preferably by burning or shredding.) Don’t put it on an app on your iPhone or whatever. You don’t want that list to fall into unauthorized hands!

Remember, too, that if you accidentally forget a mortal sin, it’s forgiven anyways, provided you really forgot it. Just confess it at your next confession, which you should get in the habit of doing regularly. Doing the Five First Saturday devotions to Our Lady is a good way to establish this habit–part of the devotion is to make a good confession within eight days of each First Saturday. By the time you do an examination of conscience for five consecutive months and go to confession, you’re developed a good habit.
 
All excellent advice. I’d just add that a confession such as yours is likely to be reasonably lengthy. Please consider letting your priest know outside the confessional that you intend to make your first confession in 15 years, and discuss with him whether an appointment outside scheduled confession times might be advisable. That way you’ll both be more prepared and unhurried.
 
LilyM said:
All excellent advice. I’d just add that a confession such as yours is likely to be reasonably lengthy. Please consider letting your priest know outside the confessional that you intend to make your first confession in 15 years, and discuss with him whether an appointment outside scheduled confession times might be advisable. That way you’ll both be more prepared and unhurried.
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Assuming they have regular scheduled times aside from right before Mass, such should not be necessary with the FSSP. Simply being courteous to let everyone go before you and try to go last if possible. These confessions don’t take as long as many think. I’ve been there, twice. First was after being away for 10 years, and the other was a general confession for 18 years. I think at most I was in there 10 to 15 minutes both times.
 
Okay, so I am Anglican but I have always read my sin(s) sometimes its ony been a sin but something that needed focusing on per se.

It helps me to be coherent as much as possible and be non emotional too. I just plainly read them detaching myself from me from the emotional point of view.

and for once i’ve prepared it ahead of time. well actually had one prepared on friday but ours are by arrangement only and the priest wasn’t free on friday. So i’ve rewritten it and been 100% delighted with the sermon today because its really help me to put what I been wanting to say into word and found the answer too not that confession is about finding answers but. Its now in an evelope just waiting for tuesday.😊
 
I would bring a list if that helps you. The worst that can happen is your priest asks you not to use it, but since there’s a screen between you he probably won’t even be aware of it. In that case you can also ask him what he would prefer that you do.

Also, welcome to CAF.
 
p.s.

Re: your homecoming to the Faith: Deo gratias!

p.p.s. It really is the most beautiful thing this side of Heaven, I agree! 🙂
 
Hello Fan of Trent,
Most modern priests will tell you not to dwell on the past, and to get on with your life. I always confess face to face so that the priest can put my confession in relation to my age. Ask the priest if he could simply absolve your past sins without going into detail. I’m pretty sure that he will go along with that. Life is not looking in the rear view mirror.
 
johndoe100 said:
Hello Fan of Trent,
Most modern priests will tell you not to dwell on the past, and to get on with your life. I always confess face to face so that the priest can put my confession in relation to my age. Ask the priest if he could simply absolve your past sins without going into detail. I’m pretty sure that he will go along with that. Life is not looking in the rear view mirror.
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This is bad advice. You do need to confess all mortal sins in kind and number since your last confession.

Not dwelling on the past is another issue. After absolution, your sins are forgiven. You shouldn’t dwell on things like “for X sin, I confessed that I did it 8 times, but I forgot about one time so it was really 9 times”, or “I didn’t use the exact proper wording for confessing a certain sin…”, etc. If you did your best and didn’t intentionally omit anything, then it’s good.
 
Deo_Gratias42 said:
Assuming they have regular scheduled times aside from right before Mass, such should not be necessary with the FSSP. Simply being courteous to let everyone go before you and try to go last if possible. These confessions don’t take as long as many think. I’ve been there, twice. First was after being away for 10 years, and the other was a general confession for 18 years. I think at most I was in there 10 to 15 minutes both times.
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Some people have more of a gift for being succinct than others 🙂 I was similarly brief when I confessed after an approximately dozen-year period without confession.

From hearing about the experiences of others on these fora, however, it seems to be not at all the norm for confessions after such a long period away. Perhaps due to nerves on the part of the penitent sometimes, perhaps at others due to the priest wanting to take more time giving advice and counsel and so forth, perhaps other factors.
 
Brandon, I apologize for giving you some bad advice. It looks like they want you to make a list that covers 14 years. If you are a normal 24 year old man, that will be quite a long list. 🙂 Truthfully, I always go around the screen, sit in the chair, confess man to man.
 
Confession last Sunday went really well. I spent all night doing a thorough examination of conscience and writing down my sins. It ended up being a very long list, but it was my best effort from the depths of my soul. Many of my sins I had never told anyone before and I was quite nervous about having to say out loud some rather embarrassing things – but I wanted a true confession to return to a state of grace with God.

I think I got about a half an hour of sleep that night and I wanted to get to the Church as early as possible. Father ended up not having a chance to hear confessions before Mass began, but I was able to ask him afterwards, which is probably best anyways given the length of my list. In the confessional when Father was was giving counsel and absolution I felt a sense of inner peace, and I when I was finished it was a wonderful feeling. I did my penance and since that day I literally feel different – better. I feel closer to the Lord and a deeper sense of faith.

I look forward to receiving Holy Communion this Sunday and making confession a regular part of my life. I’m also very thankful to have received the Sacrament of Penance in the traditional form.

I’m done with being a “cafeteria catholic”. What Holy Mother Church teaches is the Truth and I accept it all without question. I saw the error of my ways, and I pray for those who continue to believe that the truth is flexible and subject to personal customization. Modernism and relativism has pervaded our society and damaged the Church, but I know the Truth of the Catholic Church will prevail, just as Christ said it would. Thanks for all your help. God Bless.

Brandon
 
Congratulations! God bless.

Try to confess regularly from now on - every month is probably a good goal. It keeps you on the right track even if you’ve done nothing terrible during the month.
 
glad it went well for you.

I had confession too this tuesday and dug deeper than the average confession and it went well insofar as I learned a bit and learned a bit more from the penance too. I handle confession totally different from most people here by the sounds of things and probably most anglicans too when things have been shared but the priest never seems worried and yeh he good at putting things plainly to me backed up my a rather knowingly appropriate sermon last sunday etc though its good when the priest does know what happening so he can be specific for you which helps you grow and be closer to God. For me, confession is part of the whole spiritual package and not just something for the absolution for heaven or something. And even better via a Priest that really does know and I know most of you say sounds more like spiritual guidence but it is different to that, I do know.😊
 
Fan_of_Trent said:
I’m done with being a “cafeteria catholic”. What Holy Mother Church teaches is the Truth and I accept it all without question. I saw the error of my ways,
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Deo Gratias! I too was a cafeteria catholic for the longest time during my life. I went 20 years between confessions! Since then, it’s been a complete 180 for me.
 
To do good and avoid evil is controlled by our moral conscience. It also judges our particular choices (past, present, and future) and shows God’s authority. The prudent man hears God speaking in his commandments. There is an article here that would help readers learn more.
 
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