Living a traditional Catholic life without a trad parish?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Tired_Mama
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
T

Tired_Mama

Guest
Where I used to live had a FSSP parish. They shared their church building with an OF parish but they had their own religious education and other activities. There were lots of families with many children. Most of the families homeschooled and did activities together through the parish. The children could receive First Communion in the traditional rite and if I recall correctly they also had Confirmation in the traditional rite as well.

We’re lucky enough to have a FSSP apostolate about 20 miles from our house but it’s not a parish. They don’t have any religious education for the children. It appears that you have to send your children to religious education at an OF parish in order for them to have First Communion and Confirmation. We’ve only been a few times but there seems to be no sense of community that I can detect which makes sense since isn’t a real parish. It’s disappointing.

I’m sure this is not a unique situation. How do the rest of you guys deal with this in your families?
 
I am a big believer in geographical parishes because then your friends from church are also your neighbors who you see at the grocery, at community events, etc.

So my first response would be to investigate the CCD at the local parish. You may be very pleasantly suprised. If you find that it is problematic, ask about how they handle homeschool. Many parishes have programs the homeschooling families can use at home, and even if you don’t homeschool your children, you should be able to do the program.

If they don’t have a ready made program, you can put your own together. The pastor and/or religious ed director can tell you what children need to know for First Communion and you can work from that. Don’t be hostile when talking to them, simply ask what you need to do to prepare your kids at home. If you are polite and charitable, it will go much better. 😉

For confirmation, you should check what the diocese allows for homeschool. It is the bishop who determines when a person is ready to be confirmed. Usually this is delegated to the pastors through whatever programs the diocese approves.
 
Thanks but for us the educational requirements for the Sacraments aren’t relevant since our DD was baptized in the Orthodox Church. She’s already been chrismated and received her First Communion. That’s not to say that we do not intend to send her to CCD but that she won’t be required to in order to receive First Communion or Confirmation. My intention was to discussion the community associated with a parish. In theory, we should be able to go to Mass with our neighbors but for those of us who want to attend the Latin Mass that is usually not possible. Latin Mass communities and parishes are usually not made up of people who live in the same neighborhoods.

I don’t think any of us (I guess with the exception of true hermits) can live a truly Catholic life all by ourselves. Can the Latin Mass provide a community where we can have support in raising our children in the faith if it’s just the Mass?
 
I don’t think any of us (I guess with the exception of true hermits) can live a truly Catholic life all by ourselves. Can the Latin Mass provide a community where we can have support in raising our children in the faith if it’s just the Mass?
Click to expand...
This is exactly why I advocate for the neighborhood parish. I know that those who prefer the EF often have to travel to Mass and that makes it much harder to form community, even if things like CCD are offered. Driving an hour for Mass once a week is one thing, doing it in the evenings for a CCD program or parish event can be overwhelming for a family with young children.

My personal opinion is that the answer to your question is no - perhaps for singles or couples without young children, but not for families looking for supportive friends. We are blessed now to be in a very orthodox, reverant parish, but I know that it is possible to seek out the other like-minded families within the local parish as support even when the parish is not traditional (in the broad sense of the word).
 

  1. *] there is no such entity as an Ordinary Form parish.
    *]
    We’ve only been a few times but there seems to be no sense of community that I can detect which makes sense since isn’t a real parish
    Click to expand...
    it is a real parish,and i can see why one would not feel a sense of community with the attitude that comes across in your post.
    *])
    I don’t think any of us (I guess with the exception of true hermits) can live a truly Catholic lifes all by ourselves.
    Click to expand...
    there are thousands of men and women leading “truly Catholic life’s” who don’t attend the Extraordinary Form
 
We need to move away from the “traditionalist” title for Catholics who attend the EF Mass. All they are are Catholics who prefer and love the EF Mass and its sacraments and live a Catholic life doing Catholic things like traditional prayers, devotions, etc. That’s all just normal Catholic stuff that’s part of being Catholic. The sooner people recognize that such are not limited to Catholics who attend the EF Mass, the sooner we can recoup our Catholic identity.
 
Deo_Gratias42 said:
We need to move away from the “traditionalist” title for Catholics who attend the EF Mass. All they are are Catholics who prefer and love the EF Mass and its sacraments and live a Catholic life doing Catholic things like traditional prayers, devotions, etc. That’s all just normal Catholic stuff that’s part of being Catholic. The sooner people recognize that such are not limited to Catholics who attend the EF Mass, the sooner we can recoup our Catholic identity.
Click to expand...
:clapping:
 
Tired_Mama said:
Where I used to live had a FSSP parish. They shared their church building with an OF parish but they had their own religious education and other activities. There were lots of families with many children. Most of the families homeschooled and did activities together through the parish. The children could receive First Communion in the traditional rite and if I recall correctly they also had Confirmation in the traditional rite as well.

We’re lucky enough to have a FSSP apostolate about 20 miles from our house but it’s not a parish. They don’t have any religious education for the children. It appears that you have to send your children to religious education at an OF parish in order for them to have First Communion and Confirmation. We’ve only been a few times but there seems to be no sense of community that I can detect which makes sense since isn’t a real parish. It’s disappointing.

I’m sure this is not a unique situation. How do the rest of you guys deal with this in your families?
Click to expand...
OP, before you begin to feel put off by harsh comments, there are two things you should know:
  1. CAF’s Traditional Catholic forum is not a traditionalist forum, so you won’t find a lot of people commiserating.
  2. Secondly, we have a long history of debating over certain issues such as, OF vs. EF (pitting of the two forms are not allowed).
So please do not be dismayed if you start to get certain type of responses.

Regarding the FSSP chapel, not being a parish, I know of an FSSP chapel that actually has a school that parents can send their kids to if they don’t want to send them to public school or if they don’t want to home school… So one does not have to be in a parish to have a school.

I would recommend supplementing at home if you don’t like the confirmation class…

Welcome to the forum!
 
april32010 said:

  1. *] there is no such entity as an Ordinary Form parish.
    *] it is a real parish,and i can see why one would not feel a sense of community with the attitude that comes across in your post.
    *])there are thousands of men and women leading “truly Catholic life’s” who don’t attend the Extraordinary Form
Click to expand...

  1. The OP is referring to the new FSSP chapel, when she says it isn’t a “real parish”.
 
TrueLight said:
The OP is referring to the new FSSP chapel, when she says it isn’t a “real parish”.
Click to expand...
Thanks. Exactly. It’s not a parish. It’s not a chapel either. I’m not sure exactly what it is in a canonical sense. They refer to themselves as a “community.”

Years ago when the FSSP church I used to attend was made a parish by the parish I didn’t know why that was important because I didn’t understand that there is canonical law associated with “parish.” Basically as it was explained to me, a parish has some kind of legal status. A bishop can’t just close it down easily.

And thanks for the kind words. This why I don’t usually communicate with people online. Nuances are missed and motives are read into what is written that aren’t helpful to anyone. There’s nothing I’ve written here that could be construed to be anti-OF or against people who attend the OF. In fact, we usually attend the OF. I’m disappointed that was automatically assumed without giving the benefit of the doubt.
 
Tired_Mama said:
Where I used to live had a FSSP parish. They shared their church building with an OF parish but they had their own religious education and other activities. …]
Click to expand...
This isn’t an " FSSP parish" either. The parish is the church itself, and the pastor who is required by Canon Law to offer Sunday Mass for the people who not only attend the OF Mass, but the EF Mass as well is the pastor of the parish as installed by the Bishop, not the priest from the FSSP, though I’m sure he has his own obligations towards the Latin Mass Community.

An “FSSP Parish” is a parish which the diocesan bishop gives to the FSSP and designates it as such.
 
TrueLight said:
OP, before you begin to feel put off by harsh comments, there are two things you should know:
  1. CAF’s Traditional Catholic forum is not a traditionalist forum, so you won’t find a lot of people commiserating.
  2. Secondly, we have a long history of debating over certain issues such as, OF vs. EF (pitting of the two forms are not allowed).
So please do not be dismayed if you start to get certain type of responses.

Regarding the FSSP chapel, not being a parish, I know of an FSSP chapel that actually has a school that parents can send their kids to if they don’t want to send them to public school or if they don’t want to home school… So one does not have to be in a parish to have a school.

I would recommend supplementing at home if you don’t like the confirmation class…

Welcome to the forum!
Click to expand...
Wow! We agree!!! 😃

Very good advice and amazing insight! (seriously!)
 
To the title question; I think it’s certainly possible, in the right parish. A parish that has a tight community, celebrates saints days instead of federal holidays, has May crownings and a procession on Holy Thursday, has long confession lines, and Masses where people pray afterwards instead of gab in the nave, where the catechesis of children involves real doctine instead of mere arts and crafts. Sure, I think you might find all that in an ordinary parish. They exist here and there.

However, since you’re attached to the traditional Mass, why not try organizing a social hour after Mass at the fraternity’s chapel first? We have a donut hour after our parish’s TLM that really brings everybody together. Couldn’t hurt to try.

Also, since moving, we now commute 30 miles to our parish and so do a number of our friends with young children. I’m sure you can manage it if you decide it’s worth it.
 
Sometimes the situation is what you make of it. Try talking to some of the people after mass. Introduce yourself. Smile - be friendly.
 
Tired_Mama said:
Where I used to live had a FSSP parish. They shared their church building with an OF parish but they had their own religious education and other activities. There were lots of families with many children. Most of the families homeschooled and did activities together through the parish. The children could receive First Communion in the traditional rite and if I recall correctly they also had Confirmation in the traditional rite as well.

We’re lucky enough to have a FSSP apostolate about 20 miles from our house but it’s not a parish. They don’t have any religious education for the children. It appears that you have to send your children to religious education at an OF parish in order for them to have First Communion and Confirmation. We’ve only been a few times but there seems to be no sense of community that I can detect which makes sense since isn’t a real parish. It’s disappointing.

I’m sure this is not a unique situation. How do the rest of you guys deal with this in your families?
Click to expand...
There may not be a many folks here with children who attend an FSSP parish, so there may not be much advice to answer your question about how others may deal with a similar situation. You will, however, have people here trying to talk you out of being attached to the EF (you’ll get used to it after awhile). As has been mentioned in another post above, perhaps you could give the FSSP chapel/church in your area another try.

Personally, I do think it is possible to live a traditional Catholic life without a trad parish. That’s what I try to do, though it isn’t easy. But my children are grown, so it’s not as difficult as your situation.

I recall the story of two FSSP priests who are brothers, and their names escape me just now, but they were raised in a very devout Catholic family in Nogales, Arizona, who attended the OF, and they also attended an OF school. What made them unique is that the father in the family would have catechism lessons every Saturday for all five children. He wanted to make sure that they knew all of the teachings of the Church. They also prayed the family Rosary daily. The family had attended however an EF Mass several times when growing up, and it left an impression on at least one of the boys who would later become an FSSP priest. So it is possible, I think, to have a devout and traditional life without a trad parish, but it will require more effort on your part, of course. If you choose this route, perhaps you could get your husband involved, since it’s good for children to have both parents involved in the religious education of children.
 
Our director of religous education for the youth is a homeschooler with more orthodox viewpoints of education. Our pastoral associate, who is ultimately responsible for all religous education is progressively minded (LIMEX grad). Somehow the two get along very well and cooperate. It is not hard to do. You have to be flexible and tolerant (and I’m not talking about tolerating errors). Most of the difference in approach is methods, not doctrine. One favors exclusively teaching, another favors teaching/participation, a more discussion oriented approach.

I would just observe that it’s impossible to find your own island, where noone has different approaches than you. Most of the time you will have to mix it up and cooperate with people who make you want to scream. So it is with our parish. On our pastoral staff there are people who fit both labels, progressive and traditional. (BTW I agree with Deo Gratias that the labels should be scrapped, they do no one any good.)

I also agree that more important than which Mass type makes you feel good…
is to become involved in the parish where you live. I do not agree with the advice frequently given to “find the parish” that you like or is teaching the proper doctrine all the time. Go to the parish where you live, so you can get to know and minister to people where you are.

And if you find they are teaching heresy or whatever, maybe God wants you there to shine some light in the education, or sacrament preparation, or RCIA. Our RCIA process is aother good example…there are 9 of us on the team and we do not all come from the same place, but we all have something valuable to add, -and that does not change the doctrine we teach one bit.-
 
For purposes of the OP’s question, I wonder if it would be useful to re-think what “traditional” might mean. To my way of thinking, the better definition would have more to do with things Jesus specifically told us to do (one example being Matthew 25), as opposed to what form of the Liturgy one preferred. Viewed that way, living a “traditional” Catholic life would tie to how one lived their life (as directed by Jesus) and not the form of one’s worship one hour a week.
 
Tarpeian_Rock said:
For purposes of the OP’s question, I wonder if it would be useful to re-think what “traditional” might mean. To my way of thinking, the better definition would have more to do with things Jesus specifically told us to do (one example being Matthew 25), as opposed to what form of the Liturgy one preferred. Viewed that way, living a “traditional” Catholic life would tie to how one lived their life (as directed by Jesus) and not the form of one’s worship one hour a week.
Click to expand...
:clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top