Living an Honest Life

[PelagiathePenit]

A particular familia member is always encouraging other to turn to Christ, live their lives well, yet she is too stubborn to change any of her sins. Giving her advice is LITERALLY SPEAKING TO A BRICK WALL. Nothing on Earth can seem to change her opinion. Why can’t she just see the truth? She cannot handle it when people tell her the straight-out truth. Part of me just thinks she is pathetic.

 

[josh987654321]

A particular familia member is always encouraging other to turn to Christ, live their lives well, yet she is too stubborn to change any of her sins. Giving her advice is LITERALLY SPEAKING TO A BRICK WALL. Nothing on Earth can seem to change her opinion. Why can’t she just see the truth? She cannot handle it when people tell her the straight-out truth. Part of me just thinks she is pathetic.

Hi PelagiathePenit.

I hope you don’t mind if I quote some things that I believe may help.

*‘I saw the snares that the enemy spreads out over the world and I said groaning, “What can get through from such snares?” Then I heard a voice saying to me, “Humility.”‘ *– St. Anthony of Egypt

I also very much like this prayer from St. Francis, that helps me much.

*Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.*

And the following I believe also helps me.

Jesus to St. Faustina -

During Holy Mass, I saw Jesus stretched out on the Cross, and He said to me, My pupil, have great love for those who cause you suffering. Do good to those who hate you. I answered, “O my Master, You see very well that I feel no love for them, and that troubles me.” Jesus answered, It is not always within your power to control your feelings. You will recognize that you have love if, after having experienced annoyance and contradiction, you do not lose your peace, but pray for those who have made you suffer and wish them well. (Diary, 1628)

I hope this has helped

God Bless You

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[InNomineDomini]

Why can’t she just see the truth? She cannot handle it when people tell her the straight-out truth. Part of me just thinks she is pathetic.

Well, we’re all pathetic, and it is only God’s grace that makes us able to merit anything other than Hell.

But here’s the thing. God does not give His graces equally to all, and moreover, I know for a fact that I’ve resisted God’s grace on many, many occasions. Maybe a certain person has only been given a few graces, but maybe they’ve cooperated with all of them. Maybe it took me scores and scores and scores of graces to get anywhere at all. Therefore, it’s perfectly possible that those whom I look down on, had they the graces that I had, would be way beyond me in terms of their holiness. Maybe I only cooperate with God 20% of the time, but they cooperate with him 80% of the time.

This is why we should pray for others, to beg God for a superabundance of graces for them. If that person had more graces, they might be a living saint. So why complain about them, a person who is just as broken as me? Do something about it.

 

[St_Francis]

Sometimes it’s better to concentrate on one’s own holiness rather than that of others. Sometimes others are sent from God to be crosses for us to bear, and that’s a good thing–it means God is paying attention to us and helping us get to Heaven!

 

[Lou2U]

A particular familia member is always encouraging other to turn to Christ, live their lives well, yet she is too stubborn to change any of her sins. Giving her advice is LITERALLY SPEAKING TO A BRICK WALL. Nothing on Earth can seem to change her opinion. Why can’t she just see the truth? She cannot handle it when people tell her the straight-out truth. Part of me just thinks she is pathetic.

OP, I’ve viewed several of your threads where you talk about a certain family member - you’ve said you “talk down” to them and “correct” them. Maybe you need to change your own approach as to how you talk to this family member.

A thing you should remember is you cannot change others. You may believe that she should stop doing something, but you cannot force her to stop, and it’s not your job to make her.

You say she cannot handle it when you tell her the “straight out truth”, and then you call her “pathetic”. If you have a habit of insulting people to their faces, then you should not be surprised when they become defensive and refuse to listen. You should consider what you say to her - is what you’re saying truth, or it is your opinion? If she doesn’t listen to you, then I suggest you stop trying to advise her. I would also suggest that you stop focusing on her sins and trying to change her - every time you think of something negative, think of something positive. Compliment her, talk to her about her interests - just stop focusing on all the things you believe she’s dong wrong.

Lou

 

[PelagiathePenit]

Sometimes it’s better to concentrate on one’s own holiness rather than that of others. Sometimes others are sent from God to be crosses for us to bear, and that’s a good thing–it means God is paying attention to us and helping us get to Heaven!

Really?

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Really?

Yes! :yup:

God doesn’t place difficult people near us to punish us, but to teach us to overcome our own defects. The point is not so much what those around me are doing as it is how I react to what they’re doing. One should worry about the log in one’s own eye before attempting to deal with the speck in someone else’s.

This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to get other people to Heaven through fraternal correction when the situation calls for it. That correction, however, needs to be delivered in a way that (1) won’t inspire the other person to build a wall of defense between the two of you, and (2) doesn’t impede the path to your own salvation. When the Lord surrounds us with people who drive us bananas, He invites us to respond in charity.

God bless!

 

[St_Francis]

Really?

Yes, really

This is the thing: being honest does *not *mean saying everything, just that those things you choose to say are true. You don’t have to say everything you think.

You are not the parent of your sister, so you do not have the authority to talk to her like that. And apparently she is not ready to accept what you have to say, so it’s not doing any good, and may be hardening her heart–her resistance may blind her *further. *

Saying something brief like (examples!), Please don’t come into my room without my permission, or, Please speak politely to my friends when they answer the phone, but *leave it at that. *And apologize to her for any times you may have done what you have trouble with her doing, if that has happened.

And yes, she may be your cross. It may be temporary because God is trying to teach you something (you will probably have to deal with that sort of thing in your jobs), or it may be permanent. But God sends us crosses to strengthen us spiritually. Think of it as spiritual therapy analogous to physical therapy

Pray for your sister and ask God for the grace to treat her kindly, and remember that prayer is the most powerful and efficacious weapon we have!