Living as "brother and sister"

[JPSimon]

Yes, my husband and I have. First things first, two separate beds, even if one of those beds is an air-mattress. Living as brother and sister is not easy but is definitely rewarding. Even having to backtrack, you’ll see the beauty in it and you’ll be amazed how much more you will not only get to know each other, but will also hear each other. My family thought we were crazy since most of them are remarried without decrees of nullity and could care less about starting the process. And, if you are honest with yourself, and if your love for the Eucharist is great, it will get easier with time. But remember, number one, separate beds (separate bedrooms is preferable, but if that is not possible, separate beds).

As far as the physical, at first it will be difficult (pray for the strength to not sin) but eventually it will get easier and if in the future there are times as puzzleannie has mentioned, you’ll be better prepared than many couples who are shocked at having to abstain for any reason. To make it through this successfully without resentment, you will be amazed at the grace God will pour upon you and your marriage.

You can always message me if you want to talk.

Thank you for this great insight. I am living in this situation, and I take comfort from your words.

It is my love of the Eucharist which keeps me chaste, and the temptations and trials I offer up in atonement for my past transgressions, and whatever extra I have to offer I ask that it be used for the conversion of sinners and the souls in purgatory.

I feel, despite everything, that this is a good marriage because of our living as brother and sister, and being righteous in the eyes of God.

But I pray every day for the conversion of my wife and I am always eager for assistance in prayer.

Love in Christ,
JPSimon

 

[Electricaleng]

Has anyone had any experience of “living as brother and sister” with their spouse? In particular, how did this affect your marriage and did you have other ways of maintaining your closeness to each other (not talking physical, just the intimacy - mental and emotional - that usually comes with marital relations) - or did you instead somehow try and be less close as a result?

My husband and I are in this situation as I am waiting on the outcome of an annulment from my previous spouse and are looking at possibly a year or two before our marriage can be convalidated. Because of the situation we have discovered we are in, it feels like we have to go backward in our relationship and I’m not sure how we’re supposed to handle it. We’ve only been married for just over a year.

The fact that you would even be asked to do that afteralready being in a loving marriage is just sick and is not looking out for the well being of your marriage you have now. I mean what are you gonna do if they don’t grant your annulment. This is an outsiders opinion and not based on catholic teachings at all. My whole point is they would want you to harm your marriage over their silly rules tells me they dont have your or you spouses best interest in mind.

 

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Wow! I wonder if it is true? But those sorts of stories are also really encouraging, aren’t they!

Thank you for your prayers.

My wife and I have been living together “as brother and sister” for the past eight years of our 29-year marriage due to medical issues. (We did have some practice, since we did not consummate our marriage for the first five years.)

For EVERY couple, in this situation or not, I recommend counseling to make sure that communication is as open as possible so that small problems don’t grow into big problems.

Praying for us all,

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