Living in a seperated state-again

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Greenfields

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If you haven’t been there,well it’s very hard but can be a special time of graces too.Last time was for 11 years but I was preoccupied with children and time flew by.Children have a way of easing away troubles immersing you in their world 🙂
Being on your own is something new for me .This is where I’m going to have to learn as much as I can.
Where did you go for resources when you seperated?
You can private message me if you wish.
 
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You mean being married but not together right? Just clarifying.

What exactly do you mean by "resources?

I’m thinking daily mass, spiritual reading, and Eucharistic adoration would be some very good places to begin.
 
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I am praying you might get some more and good replies. I’m not sure why no one else has contributed. There are plenty of people here who have been in the same boat as you. Maybe you just need a catchier title, etc. 🙂
 
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It’s hard to find instruction,I’ll need to really search out on the Internet and perhaps ask several priests .
Apart from being polite to one another there isn’t any time frame or goal at present,no set mutual ground rules
very little comunication although I wish there was .
 
Perhaps some folks more knowledgeable than myself like @Gertabelle. can offer some wisdom. 👻👻👻
 
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It is a lonely journey and can make you feel on the outer,but I really agree with your suggestions 🙂
 
❤️ ❤️ ❤️ Big cyber hugs to start. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

I never had the experience of being separated, just divorced. My ex didn’t move out until long after the divorce was final.

But I can totally understand the pain of a marriage that isn’t working. @Daisy would certainly understand, as would @Edmundus1581.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."
(2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

In my divorce, I turned to my church and school (i.e., work) community for support. I attended daily mass when possible. I prayed and tried to surrender to God what I couldn’t control.

I cannot imagine what it would have been like to be in a state of separation for such a long time as you went through. Although divorce was horrible, at least it was closure.

I will keep you in my prayers!
 
Thank you so much,3 months into this seperation and not knowing if reconciliation may happen…fair grounds for
petition of Anullment possibly if the other half pushes for that but there is prayer and with God all things are possible
 
Which brings me back to wondering,if a married couple separated for sometime,asked a priest,canon lawyer about
possibility of Anulment and yes ,there were solid grounds to show the marriage wasn’t valid…would it be wrong for them to reconcile and continue ? Would it only be on the grounds they had serious instruction?
 
I don’t think it would ever be wrong to work on your marriage. Just about any marriage can be shown to have grounds for an annulment, if people look hard enough.

Sadly, I’ve seen people here at CAF basically tell someone, “Hey, you’ve got a good case to prove your marriage was invalid – go ahead and get a divorce and try again.” 😠

A marriage that was entered into poorly (thus creating future grounds for annulment) can be made valid by the couple through their efforts and intentions to make it work.

Of course, it takes two to do that, and it sounds like you may be on your own at this point.

Pray, ask the Holy Spirit to lead you (in His loving, quiet, gentle way), and trust in Him. You are loved by God no matter what. Hold tight to Him.

Continued prayers.
 
Thank you for your replies and suggestions,you’ve been most helpful Gertabelle 🙂
 
Sorry Greenfields, just now seeing this.
But anyhow, I was on the “What is Poverty of Spirit” thread and found this very good post for our predicament:
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What is Poverty of Spirit? Spirituality
. ‘If anyone wishes to be my disciple let him deny himself, take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life, will lose it but whoever loses it for my sake, will save it’ [Mk 8:34f]. Oh, who can make this counsel of our Savior on self-denial understandable, practicable, and attractive! . . . Annihilation of all sweetness in God . . . dryness, distaste, and trial. . . . the pure spiritual cross and the nakedness of Christ’s poverty of spirit. . . . A genuine spirit seeks rather th…
This is where the rubber meets the road, this is our path to Christ. So let’s embrace it, somehow. Make sure you are in contact with very good spiritual direction at this time. There are lots of resources on how to find a good spiritual director, so take advantage of those resources and begin your search. I cant emphasize this enough, Its absolutely necessary because there are so many rational decisions that need to be made with the help of the church’s wisdom. Lots of moral decisions, and an outside, rational and moral perspective is so helpful in this type of predicament. If possible, perhaps you both could meet with the priest, if only just to figure out a possible concrete plan to get things back together. And have you tried Retrouvaille? Im not sure where you are located, you said australia lol? God bless you, sweet lady, my heart really does go out to you, Im so sorry you have to go through this. Be assured of my prayers.

As far as the loneliness, there’s always the mudgies lol. Seriously though, just embrace the independence. Ill admit it has been hard fitting in to the mold, so I’ve sort of given up on that, and am volunteering for a home for unmarried young moms and building some relationships that way. Im also building deeper relationships with some of the older ladies at my church and planning some exciting trips with a ladies group I’ve just joined. You said youve been through all of this separation before though, right? How did you resolve things and what type of help are you exactly looking for now that you’ve broken up again? Or was it with the same husband?
 
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Different husband ,I think there’s a small chance of getting back together,praying on agreement to get councelling
 
Ok, L oh that reminds me, I found this great novena. I’ve been wanting to say it but haven’t gotten around to it yet, then just forgot about it. Would you like to pray it with me starting tomorrow?

http://www.studiobrien.com/the-holy-cloak-novena/

Gertie has a devotion to him as well so maybe she can join

@Gertabelle
 
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I will ,that would be lovely Daisy!
I met my husband the day after I completed this Novena.
It really is beautiful.
 
I’m so sorry that this has eventuated, and for the sadness that you feel.
Please know I’ll continue to pray for you 💐
 
Thank you all for your replies 🙂
Living in a state of a kind of limbo is hard not knowing if we might get back together or not,silence is painful ,no time frame,no known goal,no nuffin but wait and see.
There’s good days and not so good days.
I did google some great sites about reconnecting and reconciling and have a councillor on hand and aware ,a priest too for if there is a possibility of that.
Thank you so much for prayers ,God bless you all.
 
I’ll be praying the Novena too, and will be adding my prayers in too, to this thread.

May God bless everyone! XOXO ❤️
 
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