Living in the Country

[Rence]

Hello everyone,

I figure I’ll ask this question while I’m still young-ish and have more time to prepare. There’s lots of back story to this, but basically, I feel like the cities have a really poor culture and are not the best place to raise a family. As one who would like to have children someday, I sometimes think it would be best to raise children in a rural area. I imagine it would be good for children if you can afford an acreage because it would give them lots of room to run around and you don’t have to worry too much that they’ll wander into traffic since there is none. On a personal note, I think it’s good for people to be close to nature. Does anybody here have experience living in rural areas? What difficulties are there and what’s the culture like? How can you live outside a city and still get a job that pays enough to provide for several children (Coming from a large family and being positively predisposed to children, I’d like at least 5) In regards to careers I’d like to be an accountant or an actuary. I also have an interest in the liberal arts (philosophy, theology, history) unfortunately that doesn’t feed a family.

I grew up in Chicago, a few miles away from downtown Chicago, on the lakefront. But now I live in the country, on a 30 acre farm, but there are cities around us. 20 minutes in one direction is a very small city. But 20 minutes in the other direction is a bigger one, with bigger cities surrounding it. Try to find a country area with reasonable access to a larger city, and you have the best of both worlds. I’ve been here 8 years now and only something bad happening would make me leave the country. I work in a hospital 30 minutes away from home. Trust me, the drive isn’t that bad.

 

[Xantippe]

I grew up in Chicago, a few miles away from downtown Chicago, on the lakefront. But now I live in the country, on a 30 acre farm, but there are cities around us. 20 minutes in one direction is a very small city. But 20 minutes in the other direction is a bigger one, with bigger cities surrounding it. Try to find a country area with reasonable access to a larger city, and you have the best of both worlds. I’ve been here 8 years now and only something bad happening would make me leave the country. I work in a hospital 30 minutes away from home. Trust me, the drive isn’t that bad.

Yes.

We live in a community of about 200,000, and one of the outlying “suburbs” is a sort of suburb/rural area where on the one hand there are a lot of amazing suburban castle neighborhoods with elaborate landscaping, while there is also a lot of ranch property, too, with lots of horses and long horns, plus what look like normal country people houses in the ranch areas. I notice that a lot of medical families live out in that suburb. (I went to a birthday party once at one of the amazing suburban castle neighborhoods–it was AMAZING. The kitchen had what looked like acres of natural stone countertops.)

 

[Cat]

I in the country about 12 miles away from the nearest town (pop 4,500). I graduated high school in that town.

Although there are a few benefits of living in a small town, there are lots of downsides.

The nearest Wal-Mart was 30 minutes away. The only places to shop in my hometown were the grocery store (very small, certainly no espresso bar), and the dollar store. Jobs were very low paying and there weren’t enough of them. Living in a rural area, you usually don’t have a choice about your child’s school-so if it’s bad, it’s bad. Many rural communities and small towns are plagued with methamphetamine, meth labs, and the crimes that result from the drug trade. It’s cliche, but it’s true-everyone knows your business. There is no anonymity in a small town.

But my biggest problem with rural areas is that there is often a culture of poverty. Children are often discouraged from higher education or even moving out and into a city. People are can be very fearful of new people, cultures, and ideas. Growing up, my mom and brother both made it very clear to me that I was going to college. But when I would tell people that as a kid, they would tell me “you have big ideas”. People were eager to tell you that you were a snob who thought you were better than everyone else if you were a senior in high school who had a college acceptance letter. Teen pregnancy and unwed pregnancy in general are more the norm in my small town than they are in any city I’ve ever lived in. It’s not that they are bad people, but but being poor, uneducated, and working for minimum wage or just above it for decades is a way of life for a lot of people, and it’s one that they are proud of-and that’s sad. I looked up the stats a few years ago and just shy of 60% of the kids in my district were on the free/reduced lunch program. No one bats and eye because everyone is poor, no one is making it on their own, and it’s so normalized.

If you choose to move your family to an area like that, you need to be aware of the culture. This is a message that your kids may even get from their own teachers in school!

Sorry for the rant. I was actually just talking with my best friend a few days ago about how sad it is that so many kind and intelligent people that I went to high school with never did anything with their lives. It really irks me.

My dad (RIP) was a farmer all his life, and loved the land. He once told me that he didn’t want to live anywhere else.

However, when my husband and I moved back to Northern Illinois and were considering moving to a small town, Dad told us not to do it. He said that kids grow up to have very small ambitions, e.g., “I want to work at the beauty salon when I grow up,” or “I don’t want to go to college, I’ll just get a job at the little factory at the edge of town.”

So we settled in the city where we currently live (about 65 miles west of Chicago).

He was very proud of his granddaughters for not only attending college, but getting advanced degrees, getting good jobs in growing fields, and living in big cities doing all kinds of exciting work and play activities. After he died, many of his friends told me that he was constantly talking (and bragging!) about his granddaughters, and they quoted information to me that was so detailed that I know that Dad was taking in everything I told him about the girls so he could tell all his friends.

There is something very appealing about living a simple life with a simple, relatively low-paying job and enjoying simple activities and social gatherings. If this is truly what makes you happy and helps you to serve God best, then go for it and ignore all of the nay-sayers (like my dad!).

But make sure that you will be satisfied with this kind of life. If you are constantly sighing for the bright lights and energy of a city life, then don’t move to the country.

I agree with everyone on this thread who says, “Try before you buy!” Why not rent a house or apartment in a small town and give it a whirl first?

 

[Xantippe]

I agree with everyone on this thread who says, “Try before you buy!” Why not rent a house or apartment in a small town and give it a whirl first?

Yeah, it always blows my mind how many people will drop $200,000+ on a home or property in an area that they’ve never lived before and a lifestyle they’ve never tried before. Rural properties can be very difficult to sell.

Oh, and let’s not forget the issue of weather. If you’ve always lived in CA but want to try Oregon or WA or Montana or Wyoming or whatever, the weather and climate may be a huge obstacle to settling happily in the new area.

 

[Cat]

Yeah, it always blows my mind how many people will drop $200,000+ on a home or property in an area that they’ve never lived before and a lifestyle they’ve never tried before. Rural properties can be very difficult to sell.

Oh, and let’s not forget the issue of weather. If you’ve always lived in CA but want to try Oregon or WA or Montana or Wyoming or whatever, the weather and climate may be a huge obstacle to settling happily in the new area.

No kidding. I drove to work in SNOW this morning. There’s a part of me that wants some environmentalist/health-conscious California bike rider to move here and SUFFER! Bwoo ha ha!

 

[Hobbes42]

No kidding. I drove to work in SNOW this morning. There’s a part of me that wants some environmentalist/health-conscious California bike rider to move here and SUFFER! Bwoo ha ha!

Where I am, we are supposed to be getting it today, so I can commiserate.

I suppose it’s easy to be a nature lover when you don’t live in a place where nature hates you

 

[Xantippe]

Where I am, we are supposed to be getting it today, so I can commiserate.

I suppose it’s easy to be a nature lover when you don’t live in a place where nature hates you

So true!

 

[abort73catholic]

No kidding. I drove to work in SNOW this morning. There’s a part of me that wants some environmentalist/health-conscious California bike rider to move here and SUFFER! Bwoo ha ha!

Haha! One of my college roommates and good friends is from San Diego, but she’s currently working at least a year in Bismarck as a nurse. We went to college in Kansas, she’s driven in snow before, but Bismarck is still different even from Kansas. Haha I do not wish to be in her position…

 

[Ridgerunner]

Haha! One of my college roommates and good friends is from San Diego, but she’s currently working at least a year in Bismarck as a nurse. We went to college in Kansas, she’s driven in snow before, but Bismarck is still different even from Kansas. Haha I do not wish to be in her position…

Inasmuch as it is my conviction that the Arctic Circle actually runs down the center of the Missouri River from Kansas City to St. Louis, extending both east and west, I sympathize with her…and you.

 

[Bonnie]

I suppose it’s easy to be a nature lover when you don’t live in a place where nature hates you

And the animals have to be cared for twice a day, even when the temperature is 12 below zero. Which is the lowest we’ve had it here. I don’t want to experience lower temperatures!

 

[1ke]

And the animals have to be cared for twice a day, even when the temperature is 12 below zero. Which is the lowest we’ve had it here. I don’t want to experience lower temperatures!

They have to be cared for 2x a day when it’s 40 below too. Glad that’s my DH’s department, not mine. I stay inside when it’s that cold.

 

[Bonnie]

They have to be cared for 2x a day when it’s 40 below too. Glad that’s my DH’s department, not mine. I stay inside when it’s that cold.

Unfortunately for me, the animals are mine all year 'round, not just when the weather is nice.

 

[1ke]

Oh, another thing in the positive column for living out in the country:

You don’t have to spend a fortune on a cr*p load of candy b/c no one ever comes to you house for trick-or-treat.

 

[on_the_hill]

Does anybody here have experience living in rural areas?

My wife grew up in a rural area, and her parents still live there.

What difficulties are there and what’s the culture like?

]In my wife’s small town: Boredom. A lot of poverty. Everyone knows everyone else’s business. Lack of educational, cultural, athletic resources. People don’t accept outsiders or outside ideas (including clothing styles, hair styles, (for example,it seems every man under the age of 60 has a goatee. A man’s Sunday Best is a polo and khakis.) People dress the same. Men drink beer (lots of it) and hunt. Unless you have a good job in a factory (high tech, high skill, or management) and you’re smart enough, you move out and don’t go back. We asked her cousin what his friends do for fun. He said most of them sleep.

Drugs. Drugs. Drugs.

It was 30 miles to the nearest shopping mall and movie theater.

The town currently has no supermarket. Unless you want to do your regular grocery shopping at Walmart.

It’s a couple hours drive to the nearest major medical center. Healthcare is o.k., but most people don’t trust the local hospital and go to the cities if they can afford it.

How can you live outside a city and still get a job that pays enough to provide for several children

It’s hard to find such a job unless you’re in a city. People have an idyllic view of rural small town life. I did, but over the past twenty years of spending time in her hometown, I see all the disadvantages.

 

[on_the_hill]

How do thousands of Americans in those towns survive with only ONE grocery store? And having to travel ages to get clothes or anything like that when you live in a town of a few thousand sounds absolutely absurd to me.

In my in-laws’ small town, there is NO grocery store, except for the Walmart supercenter. Even the big regional chain grocery stores can’t make a go of it there.

As in my previous post: the nearest shopping mall is over 30 miles away.

 

[Cat]

Inasmuch as it is my conviction that the Arctic Circle actually runs down the center of the Missouri River from Kansas City to St. Louis, extending both east and west, I sympathize with her…and you.

Darn that global warming!

 

[Cat]

Oh, another thing in the positive column for living out in the country:

You don’t have to spend a fortune on a cr*p load of candy b/c no one ever comes to you house for trick-or-treat.

Instead, you have to bake something yummy and have hot mulled cider (non-alcoholic for the kids), because the neighboring farm kids and one of their parents WILL drive down to your house and you will be expected to invite them in, serve them the home-made treats, and chat with them about all the latest goings-on in the village.

That’s the way it was when we lived out on the farm!

 

[1ke]

Instead, you have to bake something yummy and have hot mulled cider (non-alcoholic for the kids), because the neighboring farm kids and one of their parents WILL drive down to your house and you will be expected to invite them in, serve them the home-made treats, and chat with them about all the latest goings-on in the village.

That’s the way it was when we lived out on the farm!

Not around here, apparently.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Hello everyone,

I figure I’ll ask this question while I’m still young-ish and have more time to prepare. There’s lots of back story to this, but basically, I feel like the cities have a really poor culture and are not the best place to raise a family. As one who would like to have children someday, I sometimes think it would be best to raise children in a rural area. I imagine it would be good for children if you can afford an acreage because it would give them lots of room to run around and you don’t have to worry too much that they’ll wander into traffic since there is none. On a personal note, I think it’s good for people to be close to nature. Does anybody here have experience living in rural areas? What difficulties are there and what’s the culture like? How can you live outside a city and still get a job that pays enough to provide for several children (Coming from a large family and being positively predisposed to children, I’d like at least 5) In regards to careers I’d like to be an accountant or an actuary. I also have an interest in the liberal arts (philosophy, theology, history) unfortunately that doesn’t feed a family.

I suppose what you mean by country matters. I have lived in big cities (millions of people) smaller cities (100-500 thousand) and small cities (5000-3000) Now, we currently live in the midwest in a horrible place.

I would be careful to

NOT ROMANTICIZE THE COUNTRY LIFE. We did. But, we discovered that Sarah Palin’s “Main Street America” does not exist, and if it does it looks more like a third world country.

Since we have moved, we have been lonely, and it is a struggle. The air is thick with either crop particles or factory stench that travels miles and miles to my window. The people are all poor. And yes, the cost of living and houses are much much cheaper but poverty is palpable. Probably not worse than bigger cities but there is no “rich” balance. No arts, no culture, no authentic food. People are more introverted than we are used to and the health care is poor. As is the education (though we homeschool)

We miss our home and are actively working to get back there.

However, the Church here is AMAZING so that is a good thing.

 

[Ridgerunner]

I suppose what you mean by country matters. I have lived in big cities (millions of people) smaller cities (100-500 thousand) and small cities (5000-3000) Now, we currently live in the midwest in a horrible place.

I would be careful to

NOT ROMANTICIZE THE COUNTRY LIFE. We did. But, we discovered that Sarah Palin’s “Main Street America” does not exist, and if it does it looks more like a third world country.

Since we have moved, we have been lonely, and it is a struggle. The air is thick with either crop particles or factory stench that travels miles and miles to my window. The people are all poor. And yes, the cost of living and houses are much much cheaper but poverty is palpable. Probably not worse than bigger cities but there is no “rich” balance. No arts, no culture, no authentic food. People are more introverted than we are used to and the health care is poor. As is the education (though we homeschool)

We miss our home and are actively working to get back there.

However, the Church here is AMAZING so that is a good thing.

Rural poverty obviously varies a great deal, depending on where one is. It’s very minimal in the area in which I live, probably because jobs are plentiful. But I don’t have to go very far to the north or east to see plenty of it.

I say that, acknowledging that the novel (and movie) “Winter’s Bone” is set only two counties away from me and in an otherwise fairly prosperous area. Drugs can create islands of poverty and misery just about anywhere.

But one should not generalize with it. If I went straight to the north side of St. Louis and returned directly, I might become convinced that cities are nothing but huge cauldrons of poverty, drug use and misery. But I would be quite wrong in believing that.