Living in the Present & Doing away with regret

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My mind has a tendency to remember the wrongness of an action after I have completed it. Convictions are wonderful, but what is done is done. I reflect on situations to learn where and what went wrong - then I get trapped in the “could have,” “should have,” “would have” trap. I am either worried about things I can physically no longer reverse or change. I am too slow to change. I THINK WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT THINGS.
 
My mind has a tendency to remember the wrongness of an action after I have completed it. Convictions are wonderful, but what is done is done. I reflect on situations to learn where and what went wrong - then I get trapped in the “could have,” “should have,” “would have” trap. I am either worried about things I can physically no longer reverse or change. I am too slow to change. I THINK WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT THINGS.
This is natural and normal. With me it is the wrongs that were done to me as well as what you say and I have developed the ability to let the “record” play without stopping what I am doing. The record gets stuck and I cannot top it so I carry on with my life regardless. Reading is good! As long as I have novels etc, stories, that is fine. And i knit for good works at the same time … it is given no power over what I do for others.
 
I do this to the point where I don’t even remember good things I do anymore. I’d suggest writing down the positive stuff immediately so you don’t forget it. Then you have something to look at when you start replaying every negative scenario over again.
 
This happens to me as well and as another poster said remembering what others have done to me - a certain meddling relative comes to mind. I understand what you mean by the broken record that continues to play. Living in the present and focusing on today and seeing myself in a positive light is not easy for me. I do not have a lot of peace.
 
Abandonment to Divine Providence
Jean-Pierre de Caussade

SECTION X.—God Makes Known His Will Through Creatures.

In the present moment are made manifest the name of God, and the coming of His Kingdom. The present moment is the ambassador of God to declare His mandates. The heart listens and pronounces its “fiat.” Thus the soul advances by all these things and flows out from its center to its goal. It never stops but sails with every wind. Any and every direction leads equally to the shore of infinity. Everything is a help to it, and is, without exception, an instrument of sanctity.

The one thing necessary can always be found for it in the present moment. It is no longer a choice between prayer and silence, seclusion and society, reading and writing, meditation and cessation of thought, flight from and seeking after spiritual consolations, abundance and dearth, feebleness and health, life and death, but it is all that each moment presents by the will of God. In this is despoilment, abnegation, renunciation of all things created, either in reality or affectively, in order to retain nothing of self, or for self, to be in all things submissive to the will of God and to please Him; making it our sole satisfaction to sustain the present moment as though there were nothing else to hope for in the world.

If all that happens to a soul abandoned to God is all that is necessary for it, then we can understand that nothing can be wanting to it, and that it should never pity itself, for this would be a want of faith and living according to reason and the senses which are never satisfied, as they cannot perceive the sufficiency of grace possessed by the soul. To hallow the name of God, is according to the meaning of the holy Scripture, to recognize His sanctity in all things and to love and adore Him in them. Things, in fact, proceed from the mouth of God like words. That which God does at each moment is a divine thought expressed by a created thing, therefore all those things by which He intimates His will to us are so many names and words by which He makes known His wishes. His will is unity and has but one name, unknown, and ineffable; but it is infinitely diverse in its effects, which are, as it were, so many different characters which it assumes. To hallow the Name of God is to know, to adore, and to love the ineffable Being whom this name designates. It is also to know, to adore and to love His adorable will at every moment and in all its decrees, regarding them all as so many veils, shadows and names of this holy and everlasting will.

Peace
 
Our ego wants to dwell in the past or plan in the future.

We remaniss over what we did in the past that didn’t help our self-image and we try to think about how we could’ve changed that.

Then we think about the future and the image we want to project.

All are false images of ourselves and the ego dwells on them.

Living in the present however, weakens the ego, for we have to be in reality as it is, not as the ego can create in our minds.

All spiritual masters taught to learn to live in the present moment, for this is where God is.

Jim
 
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