living together before marriage

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lcalise said:
I am going to go out on a limb and say that it is entirely possible to sleep (as in resting) in the same bed as your significant other without having it be “sinful.” .
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Correct…and you can even sleep (rest) in the same house in different rooms wihtout it leading to sin, can you believe it;) :rolleyes: 😃
 
goodeman said:
Thanks for your response. The issue I am having difficulty with is deciding if it is indeed grave matter or not. They are not having sex out of marriage. But they are living together and sleeping in the same bed, they aren’t even fooling around.
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As a Male who was once the age of your friend i dont beleive that for a second.
 
Jana1976 said:
No one said it was easy. Just that it was possible.
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It is also possible to win the lottery, get struck by lightening, hit a hole in one, pick the Kentucky Derby winner or lose 20 lbs without exercise OR dieting…
 
kage_ar said:
It is also possible to win the lottery, get struck by lightening, hit a hole in one, pick the Kentucky Derby winner or lose 20 lbs without exercise OR dieting…
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Well, I’ve done everything on your list except winning the lottery…ask me again tommorrow night…😃
 
lcalise said:
I am going to go out on a limb and say that it is entirely possible to sleep (as in resting) in the same bed as your significant other without having it be “sinful.”
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Well, deliberately putting yourself in occasion of mortal sin (an occasion that can be avoided) is sinful in itself. And, for the record, you don’t have to go all the way (sex) for it to be a mortal sin. If living together and sleeping in the same bed is never a source of temptation for an unmarried romantically involved couple, then I would almost dare to say there is something wrong with them or they are not called to marriage, at least not to each other.

From New Advent:
“It is certain that one who is in the presence of a proximate occasion at once voluntary and continuous is bound to remove it. A refusal on the part of a penitent to do so would make it imperative for the confessor to deny absolution.”

I think this is relevant too:
Matthew 26:41
Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
 
steve_green_2 said:
I don’t suggest living together without marriage. However, there is NO official church teaching against it. There is no scripture against it. Can/does it lead to sin ? Yes Always, NO !!
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This question has been answered many times on EWTN by Church experts.
ewtn.com Search “cohabitation”

All the answers there by priests are Yes, it is mortal sin, no question about it.
 
Below is one copy/paste from EWTN:
Previous Question
cohabitation
Question from on 10-26-2006:
Is cohabitation a sin? If so, is it grave? I have heard a wide variety of things about this.
Answer by Fr. Robert J. Levis on 10-26-2006:
Dear Gershom, Cohabitation is generally understood as two people, of differing sex, living together as husband and wife. Our Catholic Faith considers this a very grave sin, an insult to the married state. Fr. Bob Levis
Go to EWTN, click FAITH, then click Catholic Q & A
 
InLight247 said:
Below is one copy/paste from EWTN:
Previous Question
cohabitation
Question from on 10-26-2006:
Is cohabitation a sin? If so, is it grave? I have heard a wide variety of things about this.
Answer by Fr. Robert J. Levis on 10-26-2006:
Dear Gershom, Cohabitation is generally understood as two people, of differing sex, living together as husband and wife. Our Catholic Faith considers this a very grave sin, an insult to the married state. Fr. Bob Levis
Go to EWTN, click FAITH, then click Catholic Q & A
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Ah…but you can live with a person of the opposite sex without having sex (living together as husband and wife)…so sad that people always ASSUME things
 
Karin said:
Ah…but you can live with a person of the opposite sex without having sex (living together as husband and wife)…so sad that people always ASSUME things
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I agree with you. And it bothers me tremendously also when people make generalizations.
Kathy
 
What Father Levis was talking about is the case of cohabitation with sex.
Live together without sex is not a question of sin.
 
InLight247 said:
What Father Levis was talking about is the case of cohabitation with sex.
Live together without sex is not a question of sin.
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I have to agree with you…but MANY think that the part I bolded is also a sin:(
 
estesbob said:
it is possible but is it probable?
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No. Not neccesarily even probable. But there are some men out there who are strong enough and have enough respect. However, I freely admit that they are very much so the exception, and not the rule. And, I understand not putting ones self in a position of temptation, but, I’m just saying that, no matter how slim a possiblity it is, the possiblity does exist.
 
I would suggest you stay seperated until marriage. The temptations will be abundant. Why put yourself into a fire when you don’t need to be. What would Jesus say to do?
 
Well, since some high percentage of married couples never have sex, of course it is possible that they’re not. All it takes is one of them to say, “Not tonight, honey, or any other night before we’re married, or I’ll bean you with this skillet so get the hand off of my thigh.”

Having said that…they could be as poor as church mice without a friend in the world and still scrape up the pennies for a cot or a futon…very handy for when they finally find a friend or family member to take pity on them in their poverty. What, are they really saying that if they got out of the relationship, they’d be on the street? Not likely. If so, all the more reason to find other accomodations. You wouldn’t want anyone saying they felt compelled to marry out of financial necessity.

I know a couple who are using this excuse. They could afford for one of them to have an apartment. It would just not be as convenient…and that could be in more ways than one, but I didn’t ask. Let us just say that we covered the theoretical basics in our conversation, and leave it at that.

That couple, OTOH, is in the situation where one of them really wants to get married and the other isn’t so sure. Foolish, foolish, foolish, and that goes for both of them! You could say that cohabitation is cohabitation is cohabitation, but I still say it is an invalid marriage on the hoof.
 
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