Living together vs. Invalid marriage

[milimac]

My youngest sister who is also my Goddaughter and lives in another state has been living with her divorced boyfriend for a few years and is now a few months pregnant. Her boyfriend is not Catholic or Christian and has not received an annulment from his previous marriage (I think at one point they were trying, but I don’t know if they finished the process).

Obviously she is in a pretty bad state. I’m just wondering, is there any difference in her situation whether they get civilly married or not? Their plan is to get married next month (already received the invitation) and then get the marriage blessed later, assuming the annulment for her boyfriend’s previous marriage is even granted (I think it’s probably a likely candidate for annulment since his previous one wasn’t even a sacramental marriage). Is there any advantage for her or the baby if she and her boyfriend civilly married? I guess I don’t understand why they’re rushing to get married. I really don’t feel like going to the wedding and pretending to be happy for them. Luckily we live a few states away and it’s short notice, so I have a good excuse, but I would make it there if she was being validly married.

 

[Spencerian]

My youngest sister who is also my Goddaughter and lives in another state has been living with her divorced boyfriend for a few years and is now a few months pregnant. Her boyfriend is not Catholic or Christian and has not received an annulment from his previous marriage (I think at one point they were trying, but I don’t know if they finished the process).

Obviously she is in a pretty bad state. I’m just wondering, is there any difference in her situation whether they get civilly married or not? Their plan is to get married next month (already received the invitation) and then get the marriage blessed later, assuming the annulment for her boyfriend’s previous marriage is even granted (I think it’s probably a likely candidate for annulment since his previous one wasn’t even a sacramental marriage). Is there any advantage for her or the baby if she and her boyfriend civilly married? I guess I don’t understand why they’re rushing to get married. I really don’t feel like going to the wedding and pretending to be happy for them. Luckily we live a few states away and it’s short notice, so I have a good excuse, but I would make it there if she was being validly married.

Hi.

As with all questions on annulments, us Joes and Janes on the forums are not qualified to give you answers, but only advice on what to look for or consult with for your situation.

As you are not the parties involved, naturally, you’re only able to provide information to your sister and her significant other, if they choose to hear it.

You need to speak with a priest to get the best information for your situation.

One question: Was he ever baptized in the proper trinitarian form in any Christian faith?

This is key to whether the traditional annulment process is applicable for the couple. As your sister is Catholic and baptized, she is obligated to follow the proper form of marriage as a Catholic from the start, not to go back to get the marriage “blessed” later. As such, based on canon law, she’s not following the rules, making the situation more complicated. If she follows the process of approval to marry through the Church, the couple may need at least a review and process that dissolves a natural marriage on condition of joining the Church himself, or for your sister to marry a non-Catholic (“disparity of cult”)

For the couple to rush through this process will restrict them from many other sacraments of the Church, not to mention a state of grave matter by living together, that makes things harder to resolve. It does seem they are simply impatient for reasons you don’t know. Do check with a priest on advice you can give them.

 

[ExGratia]

Just wanted to point out that a marriage can be valid without being sacramental (a “natural” marriage) so we must assume a first marriage of a non-Catholic outside of the Church is valid until annulment proves otherwise.

 

[milimac]

Just wanted to point out that a marriage can be valid without being sacramental (a “natural” marriage) so we must assume a first marriage of a non-Catholic outside of the Church is valid until annulment proves otherwise.

I’m fairly certain her boyfriend was never baptized Christian – I think he has some Mormonism in his background but is not practicing. But you’re saying there is still a chance the boyfriend’s previous marriage, though not sacramental, could be found to be valid and therefore not able to be annulled.

 

[runningdude]

I’m fairly certain her boyfriend was never baptized Christian – I think he has some Mormonism in his background but is not practicing. But you’re saying there is still a chance the boyfriend’s previous marriage, though not sacramental, could be found to be valid and therefore not able to be annulled.

Yes, that is what ExGratia is saying. The boyfriend’s previous marriage would only be non-sacramental if either he or his ex-wife were never baptized. The marriage could still be a valid “natural” (though non-sacramental) marriage, which would be recognized by the church.

Complicating the matter though, it is sometimes (but not always) possible for a natural marriage to be dissolved if one of the parties is marrying a baptized Catholic. This dissolution of the marriage is different and distinct from the annulment process, and a priest would be required to evaluate the situation to determine if it is a possibility.

 

[milimac]

Hi.

As with all questions on annulments, us Joes and Janes on the forums are not qualified to give you answers, but only advice on what to look for or consult with for your situation.

As you are not the parties involved, naturally, you’re only able to provide information to your sister and her significant other, if they choose to hear it.

You need to speak with a priest to get the best information for your situation.

One question: Was he ever baptized in the proper trinitarian form in any Christian faith?

This is key to whether the traditional annulment process is applicable for the couple. As your sister is Catholic and baptized, she is obligated to follow the proper form of marriage as a Catholic from the start, not to go back to get the marriage “blessed” later. As such, based on canon law, she’s not following the rules, making the situation more complicated. If she follows the process of approval to marry through the Church, the couple may need at least a review and process that dissolves a natural marriage on condition of joining the Church himself, or for your sister to marry a non-Catholic (“disparity of cult”)

For the couple to rush through this process will restrict them from many other sacraments of the Church, not to mention a state of grave matter by living together, that makes things harder to resolve. It does seem they are simply impatient for reasons you don’t know. Do check with a priest on advice you can give them.

Thanks, I will try to talk with a priest about this. I’m pretty sure the boyfriend has never been baptized, but does it make a difference? Is it generally easier to annul natural “marriages” than sacramental “marriages”. I use quotes because they were never marriages in the first place if there is a declaration of annulment.

I guess I was wondering if a civil “marriage” has any legal advantage, such as to ensure the boyfriend’s financial support for her and the baby, or some other reason, that they wouldn’t have if they didn’t. I’m not trying to find a reason to support it, just trying to understand what they might be thinking. I may try to call or write to her, but I’ll get advice from a priest first.