Living will NEED ADVICE

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Veronica97

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My husband and I had living wills made 10 years ago and checked that we “do not wish to receive artificially supplied nutrition or hydration if the effort to sustain life is futile or excessively burdensome to me”. I realize now that was WRONG, and thus my husband and I are going to have the living wills revoked and instead sign a “Catholic Advance Care Directive.” That takes care of US. But I just realized that my parents have appointed me as their “power of attorney” and I am in charge of their health care decisions BUT they too have living wills that say they do not want nutrition or hydration. I plan to discuss this with them (they are not Catholic and are not practicing any religion although they are both baptized Protestants), but I need some advice as to how to handle this. I cannot in good conscience be their power of attorney because they have declared that their living wills have precedence over my decisions. I cannot and will not in good conscience allow my parents to be starved to death. Also, I just realized my father-in-law ALSO has a living will and I am second choice of Power of Attorney after my mother-in-law. I need some good advice on how to handle this!
 
I agree that you need to seek advice, Food and drink would seem to be normal, not extraordinary means to prolong life:
Are there circumstances where they are not? Your parents and parents-in-law refer to artificial means of food and drink.
At what level can feeding and hydrating be determined as extraordinary means?

From the Vatican

http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_19800505_euthanasia_en.html

“In numerous cases, the complexity of the situation can be such as to cause doubts about the way ethical principles should be applied. In the final analysis, it pertains to the conscience either of the sick person, or of those qualified to speak in the sick person’s name, or of the doctors, to decide, in the light of moral obligations and of the various aspects of the case.”
“It is also permissible to make do with the normal means that medicine can offer. Therefore one cannot impose on anyone the obligation to have recourse to a technique which is already in use but which carries a risk or is burdensome. Such a refusal is not the equivalent of suicide; on the contrary, it should be considered as an acceptance of the human condition, or a wish to avoid the application of a medical procedure disproportionate to the results that can be expected, or a desire not to impose excessive expense on the family or the community. - When inevitable death is imminent in spite of the means used, it is permitted in conscience to take the decision to refuse forms of treatment that would only secure a precarious and burdensome prolongation of life, so long as the normal care due to the sick person in similar cases is not interrupted.”

Declaration on Euthanasia by Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith
catholicinsight.com/online/church/vatican/article_468.shtml
 
Yes, I understand that we do not have to keep someone alive by EXTRAORDINARY means, but we must use ORDINARY means, and that includes nutrition and hydration. And the fact that my parents have checked that option (no nutrition and hydration) means that I cannot be their Power of Attorney because I cannot in good conscience see that their living will is carried out. (They have in their document that the living will takes precedence over Power of Attorney’s decision but still as POA I must see that their wishes are fulfilled and I cannot.) I don’t know how to approach this issue with them.
 
Your parents and parents-in-law don’t mention ordinary means of nutrition and hydration, but ''artificial" means…but I do understand what an awful situation you potentially face.
They “do not wish to receive artificially supplied nutrition or hydration if the effort to sustain life is futile or excessively burdensome to me”
I presume the parents all mean tubal feeding and hydrating which are artificial means.
However are they, in all sesnses of the words, ordinary or extraordinary?
Obviously they are not ordinary means as we normally understand them, as we ordinarily consume though our mouths…however it is very difficult, Veronica.

Whatever advice you receive, from a trusted priest, I’ll pray that all will be according to God’s will and that you will have the certainty of only doing God’s will.

One wonders why the parents wish to have you as Power of Attorney when you actually appear to have no discretionary function regarding their living will, just simply to rubber-stamp their intentions when the occasion arises
 
Well, Pope John Paul II declared that ordinary procedures (like performing an emergency tracheotomy or inserting a feeding tube into the stomach) ought to be done to any sick persons, terminally ill or not. If these are not done and the person starves to death or dies of asphyxiation, it is considered euthanasia. The only exception would be if the person’s digestive system has shut down and in that case the feeding tube would be redundant b/c the stomach is no longer working and is therefore unable to absorb food and drink.

These are the words of the Holy Father, which I could share with my parents. But seeing as how they are not Catholic (or even practicing Christians), I am not sure it would make any difference.
 
Veronica, as much as your parents wish this duty to fall to you, you do have the right to decline, and in your position I would feel I must.
As they are not Catholics and are very unlikely to accept the Pope’s words as authority, you are unlikely to be able to change their minds.
I think I would have to decline, with as much kindness as I could.
You have a right to say that it is a duty than you feel you cannot accept, as if there is a conflict between loving God above all, and others as self, we need to choose God.
I cannot imagine that would be easy as you would not wish to disappoint these people whom you love dearly.
 
Veronica97 said:
I cannot in good conscience be their power of attorney because they have declared that their living wills have precedence over my decisions. I cannot and will not in good conscience allow my parents to be starved to death. Also, I just realized my father-in-law ALSO has a living will and I am second choice of Power of Attorney after my mother-in-law. I need some good advice on how to handle this!
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Even if you opt out of the Power of Attorney, there’s not a whole lot you can do outside of talking to them. Your parents made their choice.
 
Note: I’m not a lawyer, but I’ve spent lots of time with one during the last few months, on these very kinds of issues.

Do not worry about the living will. At least if it’s anything like my parents. Worry instead about the power of attorney you are working under now. If you don’t have power of attorney over health care, you need one ASAP.

If you have medical power of attorney, see what it says. And don’t look at the part where they’re telling what their wishes are. That’s guidance for the trustee, and is not mandatory. Look at the powers you have. In my parents’ case it was very broad powers that didn’t tie my hands. Their lawyer told me, 'I want you to have broad powers so you can act according to the situation. I don’t want you to have to do something you don’t think is right, just because there is a piece of paper telling you to do it.

So if I resign or otherwise can’t be her agent, then it goes to my son, then to another son, then to my nephew. If he can’t do it either, ONLY THEN does the living will become effective. It is not designed to tell you what to do with power of attorney; it’s designed to tell the doctors what to do in case there is no power of attorney.

“Comfort care” I think is the term you’re looking for. My dad described it to me thus: “don’t let me starve or be in pain.”

Alan
 
Alan, I do have “Special Durable Health Care Power of Attorney”. What worried me was what their living wills state: “The directives set forth in this Living Will Declarations shall have precedence over the authority granted under any Health Care Power of Attorney executed by me such that all actions of my Health Care Representative shall be in conformity with my directives as expressed in this Living Will Declaration.” That looks to me like I must indeed “put my rubber stamp” on a decision to withdraw artificial nutrition and hydration, which I cannot in good conscience do.
 
Veronica97 said:
Alan, I do have “Special Durable Health Care Power of Attorney”. What worried me was what their living wills state: “The directives set forth in this Living Will Declarations shall have precedence over the authority granted under any Health Care Power of Attorney executed by me such that all actions of my Health Care Representative shall be in conformity with my directives as expressed in this Living Will Declaration.” That looks to me like I must indeed “put my rubber stamp” on a decision to withdraw artificial nutrition and hydration, which I cannot in good conscience do.
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Oh, wow. Yes, I think I would contact an attorney soon, to find out what my rights are.

One thing, though. If a decision is truly out of your hands, make sure you do no guilt over it. For that matter, feel no guilt about it if you do make a decision. You do the best you can with what you have at the time, and then move on.

Alan
 
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