Living with Cohabitators

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I am in a pickle. I am living in a gorgeous apartment with two great roommates. One of them is leaving, and the other wants to live with her boyfriend, who I’ve hung out with a lot and is a cool person. I offered for the boyfrend to just move into the apartment so I don’t have to move.

Pros to this: Apartment split between the three people is super cheap, plenty of space, and I have my own bathroom, giant kitchen, big yard. Also, My roommate last year was mentally abusive and terrible, and it was incredibly hard on my mental health, and my depression and anxiety was the worse it had ever been. Actually all of my roommates before have been pretty terrible, and these people really mesh with my personality and cleanliness habits. If I live alone, it will be incredibly expensive and cripple my savings abilities.

Cons: they are cohabitating and I’m Catholic

To be short, I just don’t know what to do. I could just stay in a place with people I know and love, or I could move and deal with the financial and possible emotional burden. I want to be a good Catholic, and I just need to know if I’m in mortal sin or not by living with them. Also side rant, graduate school is also already so hard on my mental health (to elaborate, I live long distance from my family and fiancé, my friends move away like every year, and I have had to move every year for three years) and I just would like some permanence and stability. I’m trying to discern God’s will for me, but I’m not mentally or spiritually in a good place right now and think an outside opinion would be helpful. Please be kind and non-judgmental in the comments, thanks.
 
12342 said:
want to be a good Catholic, and I just need to know if I’m in mortal sin or not by living with them.
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No. As long as you don’t tell them what they are doing is a okay and not sinful…

If they asked for your opinion, you could say “well technically my Church teaches it’s sinful to cohabitate, but I’m not gonna judge you for doing it.”

Otherwise, be very careful not to condemn them, not to judge them, and not to think of yourself as morally superior to them.

In fact, you’d do well to say a prayer like this: “O Lord, I am aware I’m much more sinful than my roomates. Help me only to love them and be a friend to them, and take any judgment or condemnation of them out of my heart.”
 
Is that how we approach the world? “Well technically my Church teaches (fill in the blank) is sinful, but I’m not gonna judge you for it?”

Yikes!
 
You very much should have a say in those who will be sharing your home when you are an adult. More often than not these boyfriend moving in situations end poorly. Perhaps instead of telling them what they can and cant do you could just look for a nice living situation you are morally comfortable with.
 
if there are any issues, you can be assured that you will most likely be dragged in to the middle of all their drama. I personally wouldn’t do this either.

I would say find a different arrangement if you can but if it’s really not possible, due to finances, then you wold not be sinning just by living there
 
I wouldn’t sign up for this, if for no other than practical reasons. If they break up, then you’re stuck with the apartment on your own. I think I’d try to find a living arrangement I can handle on my own.
 
Add me to the voices of this is just not a good idea. Too many potential issues. @Allegra is right that it very commonly ends in a breakup and someone moving out and not paying rent. Or it end in issues for the third person because it’s hard to deal with just one member of the couple - or alternately they end up playing mediator.

It’s not a sin, just not a good idea.
 
Ok what it sounds like you are saying is the church teaches this is wrong but it’s not part of my deeply held beliefs. A Christian might IF ASKED offer a more educational response. " in my faith, I believe that cohabitating can cheapen a later marriage and is not in keeping with happy holy living for the following reasons" its prohibition is because God wants his children to be happy." And then list what the potential problems are.
It’s obviously better if the OP finds a situation more fitting to their own character and morality.
 
While it may not be sinful, it does set the tone for how you will chose to surround yourself with smart and moral situations going forward. I would think the Catholic virtue of prudence would come into play here. If possible, find a better situation. The more you normalize sinful behavior even of others in your own life the more desensitized to it and susceptible to it you become.
 
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