Living with non-practicing-Catholic parents

[Angela77]

I’m a college junior at home on break with my parents. Neither of them are practicing Catholics. They both have some anti-Catholic sentiments too. My dad has done things in the past that have caused me to lose trust in him too.

Before I went off to college, I was leading a kind of secret Catholic life. I was going to Mass and everything, but my parents had (and have) no clue of the extent to which I am dedicated to my faith. Since going to college, I’ve become a lot more open about my Catholicism with others, and I’ve had the freedom to get super involved in the Catholic Center.

I’m super bummed now that I’m back at home. I have to hide my faith to a certain extent to avoid conflict. I don’t have a car, so I to ask my parents to use theirs if I want to go to church related things. The most annoying part for me is when my parents try to pour un-Catholic “wisdom” upon me (particularly in the realm of dating (they say I need to date just for the sake of practicing dating) and in the realm of the pursuit of happiness (“it’s within yourself that you derive happiness”)). Further, my father likes to irk people just for the sake of irking them, myself included.

How am I supposed to deal with all of this for an extended period of time? I feel like my spiritual independence I’ve found in college is being squandered. Has anyone had a similar experience? How did you deal with it? It’s so frustrating!

 

[pensmama87]

Remember that it’s temporary, and repeat to yourself as necessary. I had a very difficult relationship with my parents growing up, and breaks were hard. But I always knew I wasn’t staying permanently, and that helped. Today they live about 2000 miles away and that’s pretty perfect. (By the way, if you really don’t like being there, I’d plan on doing as much as possible to live independently after graduation.)

(Actually, the dating advice is not bad, at least not as you’ve presented it here. It’s not unCatholic to date lots of people, and there shouldn’t be a lot of pressure on those first few dates IMO.)

Even if your parents are wrong about religion, it sounds like they still are trying to do what they think is best for you. It might be helpful to view their actions in that light.

 

[kptrs]

How long is your break?

 

[Memaw]

I’m a college junior at home on break with my parents. Neither of them are practicing Catholics. They both have some anti-Catholic sentiments too. My dad has done things in the past that have caused me to lose trust in him too.

Before I went off to college, I was leading a kind of secret Catholic life. I was going to Mass and everything, but my parents had (and have) no clue of the extent to which I am dedicated to my faith. Since going to college, I’ve become a lot more open about my Catholicism with others, and I’ve had the freedom to get super involved in the Catholic Center.

I’m super bummed now that I’m back at home. I have to hide my faith to a certain extent to avoid conflict. I don’t have a car, so I to ask my parents to use theirs if I want to go to church related things. The most annoying part for me is when my parents try to pour un-Catholic “wisdom” upon me (particularly in the realm of dating (they say I need to date just for the sake of practicing dating) and in the realm of the pursuit of happiness (“it’s within yourself that you derive happiness”)). Further, my father likes to irk people just for the sake of irking them, myself included.

How am I supposed to deal with all of this for an extended period of time? I feel like my spiritual independence I’ve found in college is being squandered. Has anyone had a similar experience? How did you deal with it? It’s so frustrating!

Pray for them!! Never underestimate the power of Prayer. And don’t forget to pray for yourself too so your faith will stay strong. I would say the Rosary for them every day and offer your frustrations up for them. My father was an alcoholic for nearly 50 years of his life. I haden’t seen him since I was 14 until I was married and has 5 kids. I met him again and he had stopped drinking for about 5 years. We became good friends and my kids loved their grandpa, we prayed for him to return to the Faith. I talked to him about it a few times. and one day, actually shortly before he died (suddenly) he called and told me he had gone to Confession for the first time in many, many years. He actually had a priest with him when he died. My Mom always taught us to never criticizes our Dad but to pray for him! I hope this inspires you to NEVER give up!! God Bless, Memaw

 

[rcwitness]

I’m a college junior at home on break with my parents. Neither of them are practicing Catholics. They both have some anti-Catholic sentiments too. My dad has done things in the past that have caused me to lose trust in him too.

This can be a hardship for sure. And unfortunately, it is very common, I believe.

Before I went off to college, I was leading a kind of secret Catholic life. I was going to Mass and everything, but my parents had (and have) no clue of the extent to which I am dedicated to my faith. Since going to college, I’ve become a lot more open about my Catholicism with others, and I’ve had the freedom to get super involved in the Catholic Center.

I’m super bummed now that I’m back at home. I have to hide my faith to a certain extent to avoid conflict. I don’t have a car, so I to ask my parents to use theirs if I want to go to church related things. The most annoying part for me is when my parents try to pour un-Catholic “wisdom” upon me (particularly in the realm of dating (they say I need to date just for the sake of practicing dating) and in the realm of the pursuit of happiness (“it’s within yourself that you derive happiness”)). Further, my father likes to irk people just for the sake of irking them, myself included.

How am I supposed to deal with all of this for an extended period of time? I feel like my spiritual independence I’ve found in college is being squandered. Has anyone had a similar experience? How did you deal with it? It’s so frustrating!

 

[Antegin]

Your instincts are right, do not ‘‘confront’’ your parents on matters of faith. In my experience, if the parent thinks the child is reproving them, it will push them further from the Church. This is especially true since "My dad has done things in the past that have caused me to lose trust in him too.’’ He can’t be pushed to have remorse for his sin. The only thing you can do is pray for them. Get yourself set up independently before the environment at home becomes toxic.

 

[rcwitness]

Sorry, I wasn’t finished with my post and messed up. Hopefully I have time later to share!

 

[Padres1969]

I’m a college junior at home on break with my parents. Neither of them are practicing Catholics. They both have some anti-Catholic sentiments too. My dad has done things in the past that have caused me to lose trust in him too.

Before I went off to college, I was leading a kind of secret Catholic life. I was going to Mass and everything, but my parents had (and have) no clue of the extent to which I am dedicated to my faith. Since going to college, I’ve become a lot more open about my Catholicism with others, and I’ve had the freedom to get super involved in the Catholic Center.

I’m super bummed now that I’m back at home. I have to hide my faith to a certain extent to avoid conflict. I don’t have a car, so I to ask my parents to use theirs if I want to go to church related things. The most annoying part for me is when my parents try to pour un-Catholic “wisdom” upon me (particularly in the realm of dating (they say I need to date just for the sake of practicing dating) and in the realm of the pursuit of happiness (“it’s within yourself that you derive happiness”)). Further, my father likes to irk people just for the sake of irking them, myself included.

How am I supposed to deal with all of this for an extended period of time? I feel like my spiritual independence I’ve found in college is being squandered. Has anyone had a similar experience? How did you deal with it? It’s so frustrating!

Sounds somewhat like my own dad, who is also a non-practicing Catholic. Particularly the dating line. My old man always said, “dating is like a buffet, you don’t stop at the first dish you get to.” Yet I did exactly that despite his counsel, and have been with my now wife for 14 years (married 6) and we are expecting our first child next year. My advice, simply ignore them when they are imparting “wisdom” that you do not feel applies to you. Simply nod, and then ask to borrow the car.

 

[Angela77]

How long is your break?

Due to my college’s nonconventional academic calendar, 4 months!!!

 

[kptrs]

Due to my college’s nonconventional academic calendar, 4 months!!!

Yikes, I was thinking it was a week for Thanksgiving or something. That’s the way it was when I was in school.

Sorry, I don’t have much advice. Hang in there! :hug3:

 

[holyrood]

How am I supposed to deal with all of this for an extended period of time? I feel like my spiritual independence I’ve found in college is being squandered. Has anyone had a similar experience? How did you deal with it? It’s so frustrating!

What jumped to my mind was: read Lives of the Saints. Seek them out online or in collections. One of the treasures of a Catholic life is that we have so many examples–role models if you will–to follow. Over and over, they show us how to live humbly yet with strength in staying true to our faith, whether they were royalty or the humblest of servants or slaves or living in stables.

My family supposedly raised me to be Catholic, yet I hear from other people (unasked for) that my mother has plenty to say about me and ‘all those kids.’ So I have at least a little sense of what you’re going through, although I’m long past being dependent on them. I live my life, I pray for their peace. I turn my thoughts (as much as possible–I fail because I’m human) to God and what He wants. Live your faith for your parents, and keep praying.