Living with partner

[whatevergirl]

Many thanks for the non judgemental and straight forward replies. You have certainly given me some things to think about. I spent three years training as a person centred counsellor which actually brought me back towards my faith although it posed as many questions as it answered. I take on board everything you have all said.

From a slightly different angle, I recently watched a couple of series on UK TV. One was call tribe where a person goes and lives in different remote communities for a month at a time and one was called tribal wives with a similar format. How do you feel God would view the people in these communities. Many have multiple wives, in some it is recognised that the people in the marriage can have extra marital partners, the marriages make no reference to a God of the bible and in some societies divorce is acceptable. I feel strongly that I should respect other cultures and their traditions. However, from a Catholic viewpoint, if I was to visit one of these tribes, surely I’d be expected to try to instil my values on group members?

Thanks again, Ian

hi Ian;

I think that what you need to focus on is your own relationship to God, and doing what His teachings outline. Other cultures aren’t necessarily Christian-centric…so…they have a whole new set of morals and beliefs. I think it’s most important to follow what you believe as Truth, and if you look at what others are doing too much, you’ll take your focus off of Christ. Not saying you’re doing that, but when we look for justification of our behaviors (sins)…we will always find an excuse that looks appealing and suitable. Be careful to not fall into that trap.

Again–I think you know what to do, but it will be hard to do it.

God bless,
Sharon

 

[Cagrl]

hi Ian;

I think that what you need to focus on is your own relationship to God, and doing what His teachings outline. Other cultures aren’t necessarily Christian-centric…so…they have a whole new set of morals and beliefs. I think it’s most important to follow what you believe as Truth, and if you look at what others are doing too much, you’ll take your focus off of Christ. Not saying you’re doing that, but when we look for justification of our behaviors (sins)…we will always find an excuse that looks appealing and suitable. Be careful to not fall into that trap.

Again–I think you know what to do, but it will be hard to do it.

God bless,
Sharon

Very, very true, Whatevergirl. I have fallen into those kinds of traps before and one has to be very careful. Good advice.

 

[Pinkyyy]

I understand what people are saying about seeing a priest. My partner would not be up for that suggestion as she is not Catholic and has a lot of misgivings about the Catholic faith. I have some sympathy with her views and would not want to try to force her into anything she didn’t want to do.

Hi Nabroc,

First of all, I saw you wrote that your first marriage was a civil marriage. You should be able to get it annuled in the CC, but you still will have to go through the paperwork. You did not really say about her first marriage situation other than she is not Catholic. She may be in a valid marriage still. Does she belong to another faith? If so, she probably has a valid marriage. If she’s not practicing faith or was in a civil ceremony too or is not baptized in any religion, then she may be free to marry someone else. I do not know, you will have to ask your priest for clarification. You probably will be free to marry again, but it may not be to her as she may be in a valid marriage. If she has a valid marriage, you would be committing adultry.

Assume that both of you have it cleared and you are annuled from your former marriages, you still would only be able to live together as brother and sister until married - no sex. Also, it’s not enough for the priest to say you CAN get it annuled, you SHOULD get it annuled if you can before you live together/decide to marry. Talk to your priest ASAP. He can give you more clarifaction.