Local Sex Offender

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I has just come to my attention that a registered sex offender moved into my neighborhood. I have the official print out in hand. His crime was aggravated sexual battery. Have any of you lived close to a registered sex offender? How did you deal with it? I am still in shock. What can I do to protect my family…myself?
 
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Anonymous:
I has just come to my attention that a registered sex offender moved into my neighborhood. I have the official print out in hand. His crime was aggravated sexual battery. Have any of you lived close to a registered sex offender? How did you deal with it? I am still in shock. What can I do to protect my family…myself?
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I have to wonder what I would do in this situation, I am sure it would be unnerving to say the least. But you have to keep in mind that in reality you probably already live around offenders of all nature, you just don’t know about them. We have long since left “The God fearing Society”

I guess I would start by praying for him.

May God have mercy on him.

And always pray to your guardian Angel

Angel of God, my guardian dear
To whom God’s love commits me here
Ever this day be at my side
To light to guard, to rule to guide
Amen
 
Warn your kids to stay away from the person, make printouts for yout other neighbors with small children/grandchildren – maybe the person has gotten help, maybe it was an isolated event, or maybe the person is truely a predator, there’s no way to know and not a chance anyone should take – there’s nothing at all wrong with being “rude” and avoiding the person altogether.

If your kids are old enough to understand, talk to them about good and bad touch NOW. Tell them, not in detail, but in general, that the person who moved there is mean to children and hurts them – they should under no circumstances go near the house or near the person.

Tell them not to accept gifts, candy, cards, even waves hello from that person …

Moving is a drastic reaction, I suppose, since wherever you move there’s a chance another could move there too – there’s also a chance that you have other neighbors (and would no matter where you go) who are unconvicted/unregistered. So tell your kids how to be careful, warn them about the people who you know are bad and tell them how to behave to keep them from being someone’s victim.

I was abused by the son of our babysitter when I was a little girl and my parents really didn’t do a thing about it – actually he tried to get to my older sister, she told, but they kept sending us – I, being 4 years younger than my sister, didn’t have the capacity to defend myself. They could have done a hundred things differently to have protected me. Now all I can do is be hyper-vigilant with my children.
 
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Naphali:
…that the person who moved there is mean to children and hurts them – they should under no circumstances go near the house or near the person. .
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That is so weird. I also assumed this man was after kids. I am not entirely sure this is true but my first fear is for my kids. I guess it’s a normal response.

How absolutely tragic that you had to suffer so as a child!! Thanks for your excellent advice about protecting children.
 
Several years ago, I think in NJ, a young girl named Megan was riding her bike around the neighborhood. She was abducted and murdered by a neighbor. It turned out that her neighbor had a long history of sexual predation. Megan’s parents said that if they had known that their neighbor was a convicted sex offender they would never have let their daughter ride her bike on the road alone and she would still be alive.

From that horrible situation sprung “Megan’s Law” which almost all of the states have adopted. When a convicted predator moves into the neighborhood, the police are required to notify the neighborhood and schools of his presence.

This is done so that the community can protect themselves.

What should you do? Be aware of the situation. Know where the guy lives and what he looks like and stay away from him. Use ordinary precautions like keeping doors and windows locked. Keep your children closely supervised.

Most sexual assaults can be avoided with precautions. There is no need to live as a prisoner of fear. Just use your good common sense.
 
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Anonymous:
That is so weird. I also assumed this man was after kids. I am not entirely sure this is true but my first fear is for my kids. I guess it’s a normal response.
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Because Megan’s case involved a pedophile, most people assume that all the offenders required to notify are pedophiles. This is not true. Sexual Battery can happen to an adult. And offenders with adult victims can still be subject to Megans Law
 
I would find out first what his conviction was for then you will be more able to take rational action.

-D
 
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darcee:
I would find out first what his conviction was for then you will be more able to take rational action.

-D
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Exactly what I was going to say!
 
I understand the sexual predators tend to stalk vulnerable children–kids in broken families, kids from large families, kids who are not getting a lot of attention. I would be as open as possible with your children about “bad” people who don’t look “bad” but do inappropriate things with children. When I was a kid, my mother had a rule that we NEVER went into someone’s house, EVER without her knowing. I think some basic rules like that are important. I told my daughter that grown-ups should not try to be “friends” with children except when the child’s parent is right there. Of course, you should talk about good touching and bad touching concepts, as well as discuss about “secrets”. Finally, I am a big believer in “role-playing” with your children, especially when they are young. It gives them practice and confidence in dealing with uncomfortable situations, so they are “armed” with a plan and can get themselves away before the situation goes too far.
 
I recently visited the local police website and was astonished at how many registered sex offenders were living in the city I worked in, including neighborhoods with schools. I have come to the conclusion that we are all prone to be living in areas like this. The city I am talking about is a upper class high dollar city with mostly proffessionals and retired folks. Not the sort of place you would expect to find sex offenders living, unless of course they have high paying jobs. In fact it’s not the sort of place you would find a guy like me living because it’s just too expensive. I would definately educate your children to be safe, but even further, educate your wife. We should be careful not to assume this person was a child molester. His crime could very well have been torward an adult. My wife is a stay at home mom and I always talk to her about being safe. She doesn’t unlock the car until the garage door is down and that sort of thing. We also have an alarm system with remote panic buttons that can easily be set off in an emergency. we did this for all sorts of reasons, including medical and fire emergencies as well. I don’t think a person can be cautious enough in today day and age.

By the way many police departments make their sex offender list available online, and those that don’t make it available if you are willing to visit the station.
 
Looking into it is imperative. While I doubt this is the case as he was convicted of aggravated sexual assault, it could have been something trite. There is a kid I went to high school with who was 20 and dating a 17 year old. Long story short, parents had him arrested for stauatory rape (even though it was consensual) and now that tag of being a sex offender will follow him around for the rest of his life. So not all registered sex offenders are violent criminals.
 
Hi, I was sexually abused as a child. The loopholes that made it possible for me to be hurt in this way was trust given to those who had not earned it, and a lack of supervision. You are lucky that you have something that identifies a potential child molester to you, but I would NEVER depend on this means alone to protect your children. More often than not it is someone you know and interact with.
Your means of protecting your children should not only be in response to this one man, there may be others that just have not been caught yet. It should be a LIFESTYLE for you. It is rare that you find a child molester that is recognizable just by looking or talking with him/her. Their methods are DECEIT and an attempt to be ALONE with the child/children.
Some people may think my methods are “paranoid”, but they allow me to live at a level of comfort and without fear.
My children are very young. They have been given a VERY VERY basic form of good touch-bad touch ( I beleive innocence should be preserved), using eachother as examples. Kind of along these lines … “No, honey that is a private area. We don’t touch eachothers private areas. Private areas are EXTRA special.”
I believe when children are young it is the PARENTS responsibility to protect them. It is simply not good enough to “arm” them and expect them to be able to compete emotionally or pysically with a cunning predatory adult. I do not need to go into much detail, because I make sure they are NEVER in a stituation that this could happen. Even if I had the child molester over for dinner (which I wouldn’t), he could do nothing harmful to my kids if I am there.
My children do not do “sleepovers”. There is too much room for the “unknown.” Even if you are VERY comfortable with the mother, do you know well the father, are there older sibling, cousins, friends of the family that will be coming over? I find it easier to just not have them spend the night anywhere. When they are older ( pre-teen) and less vulnerable I will speak to them clearly about this heinous crime, educate them and IF I feel comfortable MIGHT begin allowing them to do sleepovers. Also by not allowing sleepovers period, I am spared of being in the position of saying well it;s okay that they sleep over there, but not there and possibly risk hurting someones feelings that do not deserve it.
If I sound paranoid, one of my many (and worst) sexual abuse encounters occured in a sleepover situation.
The damage and scars incurred by even ONE instance of sexual abuse are SO SEVERE, that even if people don’t understand or are offended. I DO NOT CARE. I will protect my children AT ALL COSTS and I will not live by pleasing others only by pleasing God. We are called to live as a sheep among wolves, and God has given us the privelige, honor and RESPONSIBILITY of protecting our children until they are old enought to protect themselves. I will not place my children in a “iffy” situation.
If a child molester moved next door to me, it would not change anything. I already live in a lifestyle that naturally protects my children.
Just in case someone is reading this and thinking that my children are overprotected and sheltered. My children have many friends and supervised playdates. My son plays football and baseball, my daughter is involved in gymnastics and horseback riding lessons. We do many activities together and have the opprotunity to interact with different types of people, always in the protection of their parents. Please do not mistake my strong tone as being acusatory. I feel passionate about this. I learned from the inside out how to protect my children.
 
Anon, be civil. Pray for him, but take a self defense class, and keep an eye on your children at ALL times. WARN you children about this person as well.
 
In defense of my mom, she did nothing wrong. She would never have intentionally allowed me to be harmed. These things happened in seemingly “innocent” situations.
  1. allowing me to sleepover at a friends house
  2. allowing me to play on the street, going in other kids houses at my discretion, as long as I stayed within my boudaries
  3. allowing me to walk to the candy store at the end of my street by myself
4)having a set of teenage twin boys babysit me

God bless
 
I agree that we can’t be overly cautious. I am the father of three daughters, and I am constantly watching every step they take. What surprises me is the amount of people who have automatically assumed this person molested a child. I happen to also have a wife who I worry about as well. Please people, learn to be aware, and don’t just assume you children are the only ones at risk.
 
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Anonymous:
I has just come to my attention that a registered sex offender moved into my neighborhood. I have the official print out in hand. His crime was aggravated sexual battery. Have any of you lived close to a registered sex offender? How did you deal with it? I am still in shock. What can I do to protect my family…myself?
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I was an apartment manager where the tenants were asking who an unknown offender was. I learned privately who it was myself from the local police. The offender himself was pretending to side with the tenants who wanted me to release the person’s name. One time, a group of these tenants approached me in the parking lot (along with the person I knew to be the offender). Without pointing out the offender, I looked him in the eye and said I knew who it was, and that I wasn’t going to release his name for his own safety. He left soon thereafter, as I recall.

These people are weak and don’t like the spotlight of attention. Be aware and conscious of who and where they are. Get other neighbors together to address the issue. Be on your guard and work closely with your neighbors. Find out his restrictions and stay in touch with local police.
 
We unfortunately had to confront the issue of convicted sex offenders last winter after I moved to Michigan with my kids. Just a month after moving here, we found out that the live-in boyfriend of a mother of one of my sons’ friends was a convicted (and UNREGISTERED pedophile). He was asking this 13 year old girl to bring some of her younger friends over to the local Ramada Inn to spend the night with him…and she was paid $30 for each one who went.

Obviously there wasn’t a lot we could do about the girls who had already gone to the motel, but we sure made waves about the one we knew about. We also made a huge outcry about the efforts of the local police to protect these children since they had frequent contact with this man and never checked him out to see what his previous 8 convictions were for…or why he was unregistered. One of the kids he molested BTW was his own sister’s 2 y/o daughter.

I can’t speak for every possible situation, but I sure can tell you that we developed a very good relationship with the school, police, prosecutors and State Police. The man was rearrested and convicted of 2 more counts (including the one I was aware of) because we stood together as a community and said we’re not going to tolerate this behavior in our community.

What’s really sad is that when we went to the State Police Sexual Offender website, there were over 400 convicted sex offenders who were registered. Some were women, others boys as young as 16 whose crime was sex with a female more than 18 months younger than themselves (consentual or not).

BTW, the aggravated part can mean different things in different states, from forcible rape or the use of a weapon to drugging the victim or getting him/her intoxicated.
 
I thank all of you who shared your advice and personal stories. I feel so much better prepared to deal with this situation. I especially liked the advice about education, prevention,& self defense. Crucial! I also liked the advice about working with neighbors and local/state police. I thought aggravated sexual battery meant rape until I read one of the posts. Perhaps this can be clarified by the authorities. I wonder what the nature of the crime was. I thought to contact the principal of our local elementary school (which is a stone’s throw away). He may not be aware of this situation.

Perhaps the most important lesson I take from your thoughtful posts is that predators are everywhere. This one happens to have his mug on a print out. There are so many more out there as attested to by the posts of survivors. Sexual abuse is far too prevalent. How sad for us all. My heart truly goes out to you. (Anon wipes tear.)
 
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Anonymous:
That is so weird. I also assumed this man was after kids. I am not entirely sure this is true but my first fear is for my kids. I guess it’s a normal response.

How absolutely tragic that you had to suffer so as a child!! Thanks for your excellent advice about protecting children.
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You have good reason for worrying about your children.
Sexual battery is sexual contact by force between a defendant and a victim. If sexual contact is committed with a weapon, causes harm, is aided by another person, or the victim is under thirteen, the offense becomes aggravated sexual battery.

It may be a good idea to go to the court and find out some more information, such as, what were the circumstances, is this person a repeat offender or was it something that happened once, while intoxicated, drugs etc. In addition, was it a crime against a child?

This is a hard circumstance, because as Christians we need to love, but we also need to be safe, especially with children. I would find out more information on this person, then figure out how to walk that line when you are armed with more info.

In addition, it may not be a bad idea for you and a neighbor or spouse etc. to go talk to the person, and ask them what happened and let them know you are naturally concerned, but have hope for them. This will also let them know that you know exactly who they are and what they have done, and your active about it… not passive. Just a thought?? It will also let you meet the person behind this crime… 😦

Brandon
 
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