Logic of marriage

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I am looking for premises and conclusions that prove that marriage should occur as the church teaches it. I know young people that just want to live together and have kids but don’t want to get married. Can anyone help?
 
I am looking for premises and conclusions that prove that marriage should occur as the church teaches it. I know young people that just want to live together and have kids but don’t want to get married. Can anyone help?
Rome has spoken;
Therefore, therefore the matter is settled.

Roma locuta est; causa finita est.]
 
to put it as simple as I think I can

Man is designed by God to give
Women is designed by God to receive.

this is why when it comes to a deep sexual relationship to givers is absurd and to receivers is absurd. If marriage is more than just finical benefits (which I think most people hopefully realize but many may not) than this giving and receiving part could very well be a integral part of marriage. If marriage’s main fundamental aspect is love between spouses and love is in itself a giving up of one’s self and life giving (when you give up of yourself) than a marriage between two of the same sex is impossible. Love is life giving, two of the same sex can’t be life giving. It is absurd to think that marriage between a man and a women is ok.

so I think a few things you will have to prove is that
  1. Love in its most basic fundamental form is life giving, its gives of itself in order to give life.
  2. Marriage is centered around love, the love between two spouses and that love is self sacrificial and life giving.
  3. Marriage is impossible between two men or two women.
  4. the only acceptable marriage in society is a marriage between a man and a women.
you may need to dumb it down if you are speaking to a younger audience some of what I said may be a little to complicated for teens.
 
Sad but true, but then many Catholics won’t make it to heaven either.
yes but we need to get them to heaven and saying rome said it so its not true won’t really convert many hearts it may not convert a single heart because those who would listen to that are already on the path to holiness.
 
I am looking for premises and conclusions that prove that marriage should occur as the church teaches it. I know young people that just want to live together and have kids but don’t want to get married. Can anyone help?
If they’re not Catholic, there is no religious basis. Only thing you can convince with is consequences (ex. no guarantee of parental support, or spousal obligation). The only reason I can gather they wouldn’t want to get married (but still have kids) is because they don’t want to commit to each other, and lack faith in each other’s love and loyalty. The want the possibility of still seeing other people. Horrendous situation for children to experience.
 
I am looking for premises and conclusions that prove that marriage should occur as the church teaches it. I know young people that just want to live together and have kids but don’t want to get married. Can anyone help?
Well, it just so happens that today is our 31st wedding anniversary. We only had one reason to get married, and it was to make sure that we shall be allowed to emigrate to the US together. We could not have children, even if we wanted to, due to a medical condition. The paper declaring us man and wife is useful for accounting, legal and medical purposes, but otherwise it means nothing to us and it never did.

As another poster wisely mentioned it, the church’s teaching is rejected by a sizable portion of actual catholics, so anyone, who wishes to “prove” this for non catholics, and for the non-religious will have an impossible task in front of them.
The only reason I can gather they wouldn’t want to get married (but still have kids) is because they don’t want to commit to each other, and lack faith in each other’s love and loyalty. The want the possibility of still seeing other people.
If someone’s commitment requires a piece of paper, then that “commitment” is worthless. By the way, the possibility to “see” other people is there even if they are married. 🙂
 
Well, it just so happens that today is our 31st wedding anniversary. We only had one reason to get married, and it was to make sure that we shall be allowed to emigrate to the US together. We could not have children, even if we wanted to, due to a medical condition. The paper declaring us man and wife is useful for accounting, legal and medical purposes, but otherwise it means nothing to us and it never did.
Yet you are ignoring the obvious other aspect to marriage, the unitive aspect.
As another poster wisely mentioned it, the church’s teaching is rejected by a sizable portion of actual catholics, so anyone, who wishes to “prove” this for non catholics, and for the non-religious will have an impossible task in front of them.
And? Objective truth is not refuted by value opinions. If they call themselves Catholic, or even “Christian”, they have a moral responsibility to conform their lives to the objective truths of the Faith. And we will all be held accountable to God for how we chose to conform, or refused to conform, our lives in accord with that truth.

This goes as well for non-religious. For all will be judged according to the natural law the God has written on every human heart. None will be excused out of laziness or intellectual cowardess.
If someone’s commitment requires a piece of paper, then that “commitment” is worthless. By the way, the possibility to “see” other people is there even if they are married. 🙂
That “piece of paper” is the sign of witness for that commitment of unending fidelity made by calling God as witness to that union. It is proof of the spouses rights over each other. Marriage is not an exchange of goods and services, it is an exchange of persons. That “piece of paper” says from the husband to the wife and vice versa, “I am yours and you are mine.”

That piece of paper was way more than merely your “ticket” to America. I’m saddened that you only see it that way.

I think that I understand why you chose the handle that you did. If you liken yourself to that name, I then I believe that I ought to expect that you are a reasonable and practical man.

I want to assure you that our reasons for our beliefs about marriage are not only reasonable but also practical.
 
Yet you are ignoring the obvious other aspect to marriage, the unitive aspect.
Again, a piece of paper adds nothing to the unitive aspect of a relationship. Mutual respect, love, trust - properly expressed in actions - does.
And? Objective truth is not refuted by value opinions. If they call themselves Catholic, or even “Christian”, they have a moral responsibility to conform their lives to the objective truths of the Faith. And we will all be held accountable to God for how we chose to conform, or refused to conform, our lives in accord with that truth.

This goes as well for non-religious. For all will be judged according to the natural law the God has written on every human heart. None will be excused out of laziness or intellectual cowardess.
As soon as someone will be able to prove that God exists, and his opinion about these questions is correctly reflected by the teachings of the church, then and only then can your opinion be taken seriously. (Side note: the human heart is simply an organ to pump blood, and the empty euphemism about “natural law” inscribed on it is getting very boring. Insofar I have never seen a relatively exhausting list of the paragraphs making up that “law”.)
That “piece of paper” is the sign of witness for that commitment of unending fidelity made by calling God as witness to that union.
Is God unable to see our commitment without a piece of paper?
It is proof of the spouses rights over each other. Marriage is not an exchange of goods and services, it is an exchange of persons. That “piece of paper” says from the husband to the wife and vice versa, “I am yours and you are mine.”
Nope. I am still myself, and my wife still retained her own self. Neither of us “owns” the other. We are not slaveholders.
That piece of paper was way more than merely your “ticket” to America. I’m saddened that you only see it that way.
That is not my problem.
I think that I understand why you chose the handle that you did. If you liken yourself to that name, I then I believe that I ought to expect that you are a reasonable and practical man.

I want to assure you that our reasons for our beliefs about marriage are not only reasonable but also practical.
I am sure they are in your eyes.
 
Well, it just so happens that today is our 31st wedding anniversary. We only had one reason to get married, and it was to make sure that we shall be allowed to emigrate to the US together. We could not have children, even if we wanted to, due to a medical condition. The paper declaring us man and wife is useful for accounting, legal and medical purposes, but otherwise it means nothing to us and it never did. …
and yet you call it an anniversary, implying it is important, like a birthday, unless you also acknowledge trivia like thirty years since breaking a shoelace. you say its not important, but you acknowledge **31 **of them. that thinking doesn’t even begin to make sense except, yeah, you need to trash traditional notions of marriage. congrats. you failed.
 
and yet you call it an anniversary, implying it is important, like a birthday, unless you also acknowledge trivia like thirty years since breaking a shoelace. you say its not important, but you acknowledge **31 **of them. that thinking doesn’t even begin to make sense except, yeah, you need to trash traditional notions of marriage. congrats. you failed.
It is just another reason to have extra fun. Actually we shall have another wedding anniversary in two days, since we had a church wedding, too - just to please my wife’s grandmother. But generally we both like to have special days. As a matter of fact the two wedding days only play “second fiddle” to our really celebrated anniversary, which had nothing to do with “legalities” and “papers” but everything do with mutual fun. 🙂

We had tremendous fun designing our invitation card. It ran approximately thus:

and announce with broken heart that they will say final good-bye to their cherished and well-beloved independence. The memorial service will be held on at . Please refrain from expressing your condolences.
 
I am looking for premises and conclusions that prove that marriage should occur as the church teaches it. I know young people that just want to live together and have kids but don’t want to get married. Can anyone help?
I’ve wondered myself of what good is marriage. I don’t think you’ll be able to “prove” that to them. There are some benefits of marriage that were created through society (tax, financial, legal). If you want a list of these do a search on gay marriage; the results will likely list many of these things. But outside of these benefits that society has given with marriage there’s not anything that I’ve been able to identify that come with marriage that are not accessible outside of it.
 
Well, it just so happens that today is our 31st wedding anniversary. We only had one reason to get married, and it was to make sure that we shall be allowed to emigrate to the US together. We could not have children, even if we wanted to, due to a medical condition. The paper declaring us man and wife is useful for accounting, legal and medical purposes, but otherwise it means nothing to us and it never did.
You gave me a mental image of a man using his wife as an actual boat, crossing the Atlantic to get to the states. PADDLE HARDER

Think why a country would allow a spouse to immigrate through marriage in the first place.
If someone’s commitment requires a piece of paper, then that “commitment” is worthless. By the way, the possibility to “see” other people is there even if they are married. 🙂
Yeah, it’s called adultery, and it ruins families. You don’t need to be a Catholic to see that, even atheists would call that scummy.

But, you do prove that secular marriage implies no commitment, because there is no religious basis. It’s just a financial tool for “users.”
 
You gave me a mental image of a man using his wife as an actual boat, crossing the Atlantic to get to the states. PADDLE HARDER
I cannot take responsibility for your misguided images.
Think why a country would allow a spouse to immigrate through marriage in the first place.
Haha! How wrong can you get? I suggest you read post #10… and parse what it says.
Yeah, it’s called adultery, and it ruins families. You don’t need to be a Catholic to see that, even atheists would call that scummy.
Sure. It is a breach of contract. However, if a couple would happen to agree on having an open marriage, then there would be no “adultery” involved.
But, you do prove that secular marriage implies no commitment, because there is no religious basis.
Not in and of itself. And if you would consider how many religious marriages lack lifelong commitment, then you should get off your high horse. Marriage has nothing to do with commitment. Religion has nothing to do with commitment. How hard is that to understand?
It’s just a financial tool for “users.”
Among other things. The personal choice of a marriage partner is a very young “invention”. Marriages used to be arranged to preserve property, to increase power, and for all sorts of other reasons. Love was not even mentioned. Many people first met their future spouse in front of the priest who performed the ceremony. The couple was not expected to stay faithful. There were morganatic marriages, (nobility to common people) where the groom extended his left hand signifying the lack mutual commitment. And these marriages were performed in catholic churches, in front of catholic clergy, with the “blessing” of the catholic church. So you’d better study history before you start to argue about the superiority of “church weddings”. 🙂

Just try to come up with something that is present in a “marriage”, but it is absent in a mutual commitment, without papers. Something that logically cannot happen in a non-marriage contract, but it always happens when the couple is married (love and commitment are already ruled out). As the link provided by ThinkingSapien shows, in that prior thread no one could point out any extra, special advantages to have a “marriage” - apart, of course the legal and financial advantages, which could be easily “decoupled” from the wedding ceremony.
 
I cannot take responsibility for your misguided images.
Haha! How wrong can you get? I suggest you read post #10… and parse what it says.
They are all assumptions, not really arguments. I’ve experienced the consequences of someone using a marriage partner as a boat.
Sure. It is a breach of contract. However, if a couple would happen to agree on having an open marriage, then there would be no “adultery” involved.
An open marriage is like voluntary rape. It’s a muddled contradiction of terms.
Not in and of itself. And if you would consider how many religious marriages lack lifelong commitment, then you should get off your high horse. Marriage has nothing to do with commitment. Religion has nothing to do with commitment. How hard is that to understand?
High horse? ooh, somewhat got burned.

No religion, no moral basis for commitment. A guy can marry his dog without a religious basis, and cheat on it with an elephant, and be no worse for wear.
Among other things. The personal choice of a marriage partner is a very young “invention”. Marriages used to be arranged to preserve property, to increase power, and for all sorts of other reasons. Love was not even mentioned. Many people first met their future spouse in front of the priest who performed the ceremony. The couple was not expected to stay faithful. There were morganatic marriages, (nobility to common people) where the groom extended his left hand signifying the lack mutual commitment. And these marriages were performed in catholic churches, in front of catholic clergy, with the “blessing” of the catholic church. So you’d better study history before you start to argue about the superiority of “church weddings”. 🙂
Statistics and history doesn’t undermine the concept of a loving marriage.
Just try to come up with something that is present in a “marriage”, but it is absent in a mutual commitment, without papers. Something that logically cannot happen in a non-marriage contract, but it always happens when the couple is married (love and commitment are already ruled out). As the link provided by ThinkingSapien shows, in that prior thread no one could point out any extra, special advantages to have a “marriage” - apart, of course the legal and financial advantages, which could be easily “decoupled” from the wedding ceremony.
In a secular marriage, absolutely nothing, including any logical sense of moral fiber and fidelity as soon as the situation becomes inconvenient for either of them.
 
It is just another reason to have extra fun. Actually we shall have another wedding anniversary in two days, since we had a church wedding, too - just to please my wife’s grandmother. But generally we both like to have special days. As a matter of fact the two wedding days only play “second fiddle” to our really celebrated anniversary, which had nothing to do with “legalities” and “papers” but everything do with mutual fun. 🙂

We had tremendous fun designing our invitation card. It ran approximately thus:

and announce with broken heart that they will say final good-bye to their cherished and well-beloved independence. The memorial service will be held on at . Please refrain from expressing your condolences.
no, you pwned yourself. if it weren’t important you wouldn’t be keeping careful count. my guess is that you churn out the anniversary gifts like clockwork.

that card is an old joke, circa 1920. that’s been done as well.
 
Again, a piece of paper adds nothing to the unitive aspect of a relationship. Mutual respect, love, trust - properly expressed in actions - does.
Nor does it take it away. The objection isn’t an objection at all.
As soon as someone will be able to prove that God exists, and his opinion about these questions is correctly reflected by the teachings of the church, then and only then can your opinion be taken seriously.
Wrong. Your charge that the burden of proof is on the theist is bogus. IOW, your principle should apply to any idea, including your own idea about God. Secondly, the burden of proof is on the one who says that the burden of proof is always on the believer. Common sense says that the burden of proof is sometimes on the believer and sometimes on the skeptic; that sometimes methodic faith is more reasonable than ideological doubt; and that the burden of proof is then on the innovator and on the minority.

You have come to the Catholic Answers forum. Therefore the burden of proof is on you, because materialism and atheism are a modern innovation and a minority view.
(Side note: the human heart is simply an organ to pump blood, and the empty euphemism about “natural law” inscribed on it is getting very boring. Insofar I have never seen a relatively exhausting list of the paragraphs making up that “law”.)
This is a materialistic definition. You have not proven that materialism is true. So really it’s just circular reasoning.
Is God unable to see our commitment without a piece of paper?
It’s not for God.
Nope. I am still myself, and my wife still retained her own self. Neither of us “owns” the other. We are not slaveholders.
Then you obviously misunderstood the terms. It would be better to set this aside for later.
That is not my problem.
That doesn’t sound like the sort of retort the Tyrion I know would use.
I am sure they are in your eyes.
Truth is not subjective. So how something appears in “my eyes” is irrelevant. They are objective facts; solid conclusions based on valid reasons and clear definitions.

I may not be able to prove to you beyond any doubt as to the logic of marriage. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist.

And I can definitely poke holes in every single argument that you present against it.
 
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