Logistics of relocating with a 17 month old

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Oscarthecat

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My wife and I are relocating to a far away city, and we’re not sure how to get our 17month old daughter there because we have a pretty short timeline.

Here’s the situation…

By car, the drive is 22 hours.
By plane, the flight is 2 legs: first leg is 1 hour, then a 2-3 hour layover, and then a 2 hour flight.

Everything is being moved by professionals, so we don’t have to worry about anything but driving one car 22 hours to the new city.

I have to do the 22 hour drive in 2 days. Due to conditions beyond our control, I can leave no earlier than 10am on day one, and must be in the new city no later than 7pm on day 2.

Here’s my question:

On the one hand, if we drive, we’re all together, so if anything comes up we can probably handle it. However, driving with a child on a long trip like that is hard and can be slow. I’m worried about doing the trip in the time we have, and I’m worried about how our daughter will handle being in a carseat for so long.

On the other hand, my wife is capable, but not really comfortable, taking our daughter by herself on the plane. Our daughter is at a very difficult age to fly with, and it could be a pretty harrowing trip alone.

I’d really appreciate any advice from people who have experience with this kind of decision…

Thanks
 
Can you hire someone to drive the car down for you and take the flight with your family? Do have any friends or relatives who could/would do it? Or they may know someone?
 
It looks like if you drove together you’d be keeping a baby in her carseat for 11 hours a day (not including all the necessary stops). While it would be nice to get the family together, that does seem a bit extreme. If you can afford to fly your wife and child I would do that option.

When I was little my mom had to fly back and forth between Hawaii (where we lived) and Japan (where my dad was stationed). She learned a few things that might be helpful for you:
  1. Never board the plane early. While small children and gold star members were boarding my mom would ‘run’ with my up and down the hallways in front of the gate. By this I mean I would be running while my mom ran/walked beside me to get me tired so that I was more likely to sleep on the plane.
  2. She bought me my own seat next to the window so that when I wanted to I could lie down on her lap and still have room for my body.
  3. She made sure to bring apple juice and starbursts to keep my blood sugar up during the trip and to help pop my ears so they didn’t hurt. In today’s post 9-11 world I’d recommend asking for apple juice as soon as you were on the plane.
  4. Have a goody bag with brand new toys, coloring books, reading books, stuffed animal, etc. Once on the plane bring out one toy and let her play with it, as she gets bored take away the toy and give her a different one.
Hope these ideas help in your decision.
 
wow! Thats a tough one.

I would have to say that if it was me in that situation, I would chose the car. If the kid gets too rowdy, you can always stop at a rest area for 10 minutes and let her run around. You can’t stop a plane. Also, passengers and staff on a plane can be VERY rude to a mother and child.

No kid is going to enjoy that trip but I think it would help her to have both Mommy and Daddy with her. You guys could take turns driving and entertaining the kid.

Do you guys have a portable DVD player? 😃 They work WONDERS on a long trip. :o
 
I would chose the plane for sure. Yes it will be a hassle traveling alone with a toddler ( I have an 18 m old) but I think it would be far better than trying to get an active toddler to sit in a carseat for 22 hours. I wouldn’t even attempt it… little bodies can’t sit still that long. At least on the plane… its no fun but its over alot quicker than in the car. Your wife can let your dd run around the airport until its time to board the plane and then maybe your dd can nap, read stories, watch a dvd, walk up and down the aisles etc.
 
When we did across the country moves that were paid for by the company, our cars were transported on an auto carrier and we all flew together.
 
Do you know someone with an RV you could borrow? You can also rent them… you can tow your car behind, and wife and babe can have living room, bedroom and kitchen all right there.
 
kage_ar said:
Do you know someone with an RV you could borrow? You can also rent them… you can tow your car behind, and wife and babe can have living room, bedroom and kitchen all right there.
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Or rent one: cruiseamerica.com/

I checked, and you can rent one way AND tow. You could rent a tow dolly for the car from U-Haul.
 
kage_ar said:
Do you know someone with an RV you could borrow? You can also rent them… you can tow your car behind, and wife and babe can have living room, bedroom and kitchen all right there.
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**Now, if they can afford the price of fuel, that would be an excellent solution! **
 
There are transport companies that will carry your car on a flatbed truck from your old residence to your new one. Once you consider the gas and car repairs that you might incur while driving for 22 hours (plus the hotel in the middle), this option might be attractive.

I used this company and had no problems dependableautomovers.com/ but your mileage may vary (heh, heh…)
 
I agree that plane flight would be faster, but you’ve got the bags to worry about and the layover and boarding passes. If DH hasn’t made it yet, then who’s going to pick her up? I’m not the kind of person that handles stress well. I’ve been on a plane with my 2 kids and had a layover but I had my mom with me. If I was alone, I would have ended up just laying down and crying.

The RV is starting to sound like a great alternative! Gas is super cheap right now too! It was $3 a gallon higher just a few months ago!😃
 
Hi!

I have (name removed by moderator)ut since we did this exact same thing 2 years ago. We moved from So CAL to Central Texas.

We had a 4 year old, a 15 month old, one labrador, one cat and two hermit crabs 🙂 I chose to drive with DH because I couldnt handle 2 kids on a plane by myself. It actually wasn’t that bad driving for 3 days. We left So cal at 8:00 pm when the kids were asleep and got to Tucson AZ at about 2:00 or 3:00 am and we stayed the rest of the night there. We woke up about 9:00 and drove until we reached Las Cruces NM…we stayed the night again and then drove the rest of the way to San Antonio:)

We only stopped to use the rest rooms and eat. The kids slept alot in the car so that helped!

Oh and we bought a portable DVD player before we left so they could watch lots of movies during the drive!
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
**Now, if they can afford the price of fuel, that would be an excellent solution! **
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That would definitely be a fun solution- I should see if there are any RV rental companies that allow one-way trips between texas and nebraska
 
Oscarthecat said:
That would definitely be a fun solution- I should see if there are any RV rental companies that allow one-way trips between texas and nebraska
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Let us know what you find out:thumbsup: And good luck to you whichever way you end up getting there:)
 
I vote for the plane.

Its not fun, but its survivable.

The layovers, while a pain to board, deplane, get new seats, etc… are good to break up the trip for the toddler.

When we moved back from overseas, we stayed at the ILs on leave for a little bit. My dh drove from PA to GA, checked in to base, and then a day or so later, I flew down 3 mos pg with my 3 year old and my 6 mo old. Strangers were pretty helpful. I had one way tickets for all of us and it was Sep 2002, so I got the special security checks and wandings every step of the way, which was absolutely silly, but back then everything was a flag.

I would not say it was a fun trip, and the Hartsfield ATL bathrooms were out of order during our layover :eek: :eek: :eek: but it was over and done with in less than a day.

And yes, get the toddler a seat. Your wife will need the extra room and they overbook flights now as a rule so the chances of getting an empty seat are close to nil.
 
When our four kids were ages 9, 4-1/2, 2-1/2, & 1 we we going to make a car trip from Minnesota to California, about 2,000 miles. My husband was mentioning this at work and a co-worker said they used children’s Dramamine for traveling with their kids. We were absolutely HORRIFIED!!! Who would give their kids “drugs” just to keep them quiet on a trip???

Well, guess who DID?!! We had the three oldest kids in the backseat and the baby in her carseat between us in front. When you have four kids traveling, that means 8 elbows, 8 knees, 8 feet, 8 hands, 40 fingers, and 4 mouths at various volumes. A huge potential for disaster. We bought the Dramamine and gave each kid the appropriate doses (I don’t remember if it went by age or weight) after breakfast and another after lunch. They would be awake for a little while and then all took naps. When they woke up they talked and played quietly together. The baby sat nicely when awake, no squirming or trying to get out of her seat. We’ve told the story many times and still laugh about how horrified we originally were at the co-worker.
 
I’ve flown cross-country on my own
  1. with a 17 mo old and a 4 yr old;
  2. with the now 2 yr old and a 4 1/2 year old;
I’ve taken the train cross-country on my own
  1. with an 11 mo. old, 3 1/2 yr old and 6 yr old in a roomette.
We drove cross-country with the kids when the youngest was 4 and the oldest 9. At that age it was a breeze. We’d put them in the car at 5 am and let them sleep a few hours in their car seats, stop for a big breakfast, drive a few more hours then stop for a snack, call it a day around 3 p.m. and take them to the pool, beach, sight-seeing, etc. Good supper and then an early bed time.

Your wife’s flight is just short hops. Get a harness and leash and just take the minimum as carry-on (small bag for the 17 mo old with the suggested games, treats, etc & small backpack for mom). If you can afford it, get 2 seats (if the company is relocating you they’ll probably spring for a seat for the child too).
 
Marquette said:
When our four kids were ages 9, 4-1/2, 2-1/2, & 1 we we going to make a car trip from Minnesota to California, about 2,000 miles. My husband was mentioning this at work and a co-worker said they used children’s Dramamine for traveling with their kids. We were absolutely HORRIFIED!!! Who would give their kids “drugs” just to keep them quiet on a trip???

Well, guess who DID?!! We had the three oldest kids in the backseat and the baby in her carseat between us in front. When you have four kids traveling, that means 8 elbows, 8 knees, 8 feet, 8 hands, 40 fingers, and 4 mouths at various volumes. A huge potential for disaster. We bought the Dramamine and gave each kid the appropriate doses (I don’t remember if it went by age or weight) after breakfast and another after lunch. They would be awake for a little while and then all took naps. When they woke up they talked and played quietly together. The baby sat nicely when awake, no squirming or trying to get out of her seat. We’ve told the story many times and still laugh about how horrified we originally were at the co-worker.
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I’m horrified at anyone who would drug their child for their own convenience. What would you have done if one of your children had had an allergic reaction or accidental overdose? My God… the things people will do…:eek:

As a veteran of a nine day car trip from NC to CA, with a nearly 3 year old and a 4 month old, among many other long trips, I can tell the OP that it is possible to live through long, hard car trips with young children WITHOUT drugging them! Please do not take the risks involved in drugging your kids.

I don’t think I can say this strongly enough. Marquette, if you were a friend of mine IRL, and I found out you were capable of this, I would have to end the friendship based on us having such radically different conceptions of what is OK to do to one’s children. I just think that is immoral.

If you decide to fly, OP, do buy the child a seat. The airline will not allow you to strap the carseat into a seat unless it is paid for. (That was my experience, anyway.) And if turbulence hits, you want your baby strapped in. Also, it gets extremely tiring holding a child on your lap all the time. I only did that once, with a 3 month old. And I wouldn’t do it again. I am an attachment parent, and that was even too much for me! And it was only Phoenix to Spokane!
 
basilisk said:
I’m horrified at anyone who would drug their child for their own convenience. What would you have done if one of your children had had an allergic reaction or accidental overdose? My God… the things people will do…:eek:
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Dramamine keeps kids, and adults, from getting motion sickness.

It is MADE to be taken before car trips or boat rides, giving OTC medication for motion sickenss to one’s own children before a long car ride is a reasonable thing to do.
 
kage_ar said:
Dramamine keeps kids, and adults, from getting motion sickness.

It is MADE to be taken before car trips or boat rides, giving OTC medication for motion sickenss to one’s own children before a long car ride is a reasonable thing to do.
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I know what Dramamine is for. Marquette did not have a child with a motion sickness problem. She gave it only for the sedative effect. Read the post.

If I had a child who threw up on long car trips, I would use a motion sickness remedy.

But using Dramamine to sedate one’s children is just as immoral as the daycare providers who give children Benadryl to keep them sedated and quiet. Benadryl has legitimate uses, but sedation is not one of them.
 
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