Lone Catholic..my life is in crumbles

[Cory_H]

Hello brothers and sisters in Christ! I had to post here, haven’t been around in a while! The Marines have been taking up a lot of my time.
I’m having a lot of trouble in my life right now. I am the lone Catholic in my entire family, and that includes grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, etc along with my brother, sister, mother, and, most importantly to me, my father. My father and sister are Seventh Day Adventists. That’s what my father raised my brother and sister and I as. In fact, it’s thanks to my dad that I am a Christian at all. The rest of my family are baptists or non denominational (my mom is nondenom; her and my dad are divorced since 1995). But anyway, last year I questioned my Adventists beliefs and studied Catholicism, and it made so much sense to me. The writings of the Early Church Fathers proved to me the Catholic faith was the faith of the early Church. I became Catholic September of last year while at Parris Island, the Marine Corps recruit training depot. It took me a few months, but I finally told dad I was a Catholic. He took it well, but we don’t talk about it much. My mom and sister found out, and they make fun of me for believing what the Church teaches, and I am not free to be Catholic around them. My dad doesn’t say anything about it.
It really breaks my heart, because I love my dad more than anyone on earth. He is my hero, and God blessed me so much with such a great earthly father. I could never have asked God for a better dad. I just feel like I have shamed my father by leaving the Adventist Church, and at times I feel we are no longer as close as we were before. I just want to be a good son for my dad as he has been such a great father.
Besides that, I have personal sins I struggle with on a daily basis. These sins are overpowering. Frankly, they have to do with sexual immorality. I know I am not the only man that struggles with these things, but Satan has intensified his attacks against me very recently.
And on top of that, a lot has happened to my career as a Marine, and it’s ending very soon. I am getting an admin seperation (simply put, it’s a nice way of saying I am getting kicked out of the Marines). I didn’t do anything wrong as far as discipline is concerned. It’s a long story that I don’t want to get into here.

With all these things on my shoulders everyday, I feel like I am falling apart. I just try to carry on each day, and by God’s grace I have. But these things are burdening my heart.
Brothers and sisters, I could use prayers, words of encouragement, and some advice would be welcome. I need help very badly…
God bless us all, and ALL His believers in Christ, wether in this flock or not,
-CJ

 

[Mintaka]

So many troubles for you… I don’t know what to say. You are carrying your cross, for sure.

I’ll be praying for you.

 

[rskempf]

Hello,

I wanted to offer some time. I understand your introduction. It mirrors my own life a little. I am trying every day to lead a life growing in holiness. All the fallen world around me is trying to trip me up.

I wanted to ask you this. Could it be the Holy Spirit is guiding you into the faith? Maybe the Marines were a way to break you out of a family mold. Now you have the faith and are no longer in the marines - you are free!

You are the shining light that your extended family actually needs. The sins are hard to deal with at this time. They are more apparent now that you are growing in holiness. Saint Francis had this same problem.

Believe me, please. Your family really needs you. It could take decades to make progress. Keep learning and have patience. Keep close and frequent the sacraments.

Let me know what you think.

Rick

 

[Cory_H]

Hello,

I wanted to offer some time. I understand your introduction. It mirrors my own life a little. I am trying every day to lead a life growing in holiness. All the fallen world around me is trying to trip me up.

I wanted to ask you this. Could it be the Holy Spirit is guiding you into the faith? Maybe the Marines were a way to break you out of a family mold. Now you have the faith and are no longer in the marines - you are free!

You are the shining light that your extended family actually needs. The sins are hard to deal with at this time. They are more apparent now that you are growing in holiness. Saint Francis had this same problem.

Believe me, please. Your family really needs you. It could take decades to make progress. Keep learning and have patience. Keep close and frequent the sacraments.

Let me know what you think.

Rick

Thank you for your kind words. I just keep thinking of my dad the most. I love him so much and as I said without him I wouldn’t know Christ at all. I don’t want my dad to be lost, if he can be lost in Adventism. I was told by my chaplain from boot camp when I was discussing the Catholic Church with him that my dad has nothing to worry about. He told me he believes my dad is going to be saved, which gave me a lot of relief at the time. But I still wonder…and Heaven without my dad would be hell. I know a lot of people could say the same thing, that Heaven is hell without their family whom they love.

 

[Eucharisted]

Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, 16 and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

Divine Mercy In My Soul, 1491

My daughter, do not be afraid of what will happen to you. I will give you nothing beyond your strength. You know the power of My grace; let that be enough.

 

[the_phoenix]

Today is St. Philip of Neri’s feast day!
St. Philip of Neri, pray for us! :dancing: :extrahappy: :bounce: :bluelite: :whackadoo: :whacky:

Saint Philip Neri (1515 - 1595)

He was born in Florence in 1515. At the age of eighteen he went to Rome, and earned his living as a tutor. He undertook much-needed charitable work among the young men of the city, and started a brotherhood to help the sick poor and pilgrims.

He was advised that he could do more good as a priest, and was ordained in 1551. He built an oratory over the church of San Girolamo, where he invented services, consisting of spiritual readings and hymns, which were the origin of the oratorio (tradition is a good thing; but innovation also has its place). He continued to serve the young men of Rome, rich and poor alike, with religious discussions and by organising charitable enterprises. He had a particular care for the young students at the English College in Rome, studying for a missionary life and probable martyrdom in England.

He inspired other clergy to emulate him, and formed them into the Congregation of the Oratory. Oratorian foundations still flourish in many countries today. He died in Rome in 1595.

St Philip Neri was an enemy of solemnity and conventionality. When some of his more pompous penitents made their confession to him (he was famous as a confessor) he imposed salutary and deflating penances on them, such as walking through the streets of Rome carrying his cat (he was very fond of cats). When a novice showed signs of excessive seriousness, Philip stood on his head in front of him, to make him laugh. When people looked up to him too much, he did something ridiculous so that they should not respect someone who was no wiser – and no less sinful – than they were. In every case there was an excellent point to his pranks: to combat pride, or melancholy, or hero-worship.

Laughter is not much heard in churches: perhaps that is to be expected… but outside church, Christians should laugh more than anyone else – laugh from sheer joy, that God bothered to make us, and that he continues to love us despite the idiots we are. Everyone is a sinner, but Christians are sinners redeemed – an undeserved rescue that we make even less deserved by everything we do. It is too serious a matter to be serious about: all we can reasonably do is rejoice.

Very many of the saints, not just St Philip, have an abiding terror of being looked up to. For they know their imperfections better than anyone else, and being revered by other people is doubly bad. It is bad for the others, who should be revering God instead, and for themselves, because they might be tempted to believe their own image and believe themselves to be worthy.

We are not saints yet, but we, too, should beware. Uprightness and virtue do have their rewards, in self-respect and in respect from others, and it is easy to find ourselves aiming for the result rather than the cause. Let us aim for joy, rather than respectability. Let us make fools of ourselves from time to time, and thus see ourselves, for a moment, as the all-wise God sees us.

universalis.com/-400/today.htm

 

[tampagrl]

Hello brothers and sisters in Christ! I had to post here, haven’t been around in a while! The Marines have been taking up a lot of my time.
I’m having a lot of trouble in my life right now. I am the lone Catholic in my entire family, and that includes grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, etc along with my brother, sister, mother, and, most importantly to me, my father. My father and sister are Seventh Day Adventists. That’s what my father raised my brother and sister and I as. In fact, it’s thanks to my dad that I am a Christian at all. The rest of my family are baptists or non denominational (my mom is nondenom; her and my dad are divorced since 1995). But anyway, last year I questioned my Adventists beliefs and studied Catholicism, and it made so much sense to me. The writings of the Early Church Fathers proved to me the Catholic faith was the faith of the early Church. I became Catholic September of last year while at Parris Island, the Marine Corps recruit training depot. It took me a few months, but I finally told dad I was a Catholic. He took it well, but we don’t talk about it much. My mom and sister found out, and they make fun of me for believing what the Church teaches, and I am not free to be Catholic around them. My dad doesn’t say anything about it.
It really breaks my heart, because I love my dad more than anyone on earth. He is my hero, and God blessed me so much with such a great earthly father. I could never have asked God for a better dad. I just feel like I have shamed my father by leaving the Adventist Church, and at times I feel we are no longer as close as we were before. I just want to be a good son for my dad as he has been such a great father.
Besides that, I have personal sins I struggle with on a daily basis. These sins are overpowering. Frankly, they have to do with sexual immorality. I know I am not the only man that struggles with these things, but Satan has intensified his attacks against me very recently.
And on top of that, a lot has happened to my career as a Marine, and it’s ending very soon. I am getting an admin seperation (simply put, it’s a nice way of saying I am getting kicked out of the Marines). I didn’t do anything wrong as far as discipline is concerned. It’s a long story that I don’t want to get into here.

With all these things on my shoulders everyday, I feel like I am falling apart. I just try to carry on each day, and by God’s grace I have. But these things are burdening my heart.
Brothers and sisters, I could use prayers, words of encouragement, and some advice would be welcome. I need help very badly…
God bless us all, and ALL His believers in Christ, wether in this flock or not,
-CJ

:console: I, too, am the only Catholic in my family…it’s …ummm…awkward…especially the time when my daughter was about 4yrs old, and launced into a very loud “HAIL MARY FULL OF GRACE”, after one Thanksgiving blessing. My family was gracious enough to let her finish, but the stares I got…oye! My family is Southern Baptist…and I do mean Southern, front-row, yer gett’n dunked n’ saved, Baptists. So, it’s difficult, I know.

Side note: How did you enter into the Church in Sept? I always thought in was at the Easter Vigil? It’s been 9 yrs for me, and I still learn something new just about every day! So,I’m just curious.

Your job, now, is not to beat everyone over the head with the Cathechism, but just to live your new life in the Church. Praise God you are Home!

Living your faith will be your best witness. Eventually, they’ll have questions, and when they do, you can share. Staying on CA or EWTN or New Advent.org, will help in finding the right ways to express yourself and explaining why you believe what you believe. The “why” was never something I learned growing up. You just believed it…because. In being Catholic, you have such freedom and everything fits together so intimately. I marvel in the explanations of “why” we believe what we believe.

Give your daily struggles to God. Every time you are tempted to sin, immediately say a “Hail Mary” or the “Our Father” and busy yourself with something else. Start your day with prayer or some other form of devotional. As a new Catholic, as strange and unfamiliar as it may be to you, try to spend time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Most parishes have Adoration, at least on the first Friday of the month. Just sitting there, in the presence of Jesus, meditating on Him brings SUCH peace.

Your father has raised a good son. You no doubt make your father very proud. If you haven’t already, I would tell your Dad everything you wrote in here, maybe in a letter, especially the part about his influence on raising you in the Christian faith. Granted, we may not yet be united with our families in this respect, but you and I were both blessed to at least know Jesus b/f coming home to the Church. As for your mom and sis making fun of you - people tend to do that when they’re presented with the unfamiliar…it’s like a defense mechanism. You ARE free to be Catholic around them and you shouldn’t be shamed out of expressing your faith.
I’m sorry to hear about your career with the Marines ending. I sincerely thank you for your service to this awesome country of ours. You are in my prayers.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

My dad doesn’t say anything about it.
It really breaks my heart, because I love my dad more than anyone on earth. He is my hero, and God blessed me so much with such a great earthly father. I could never have asked God for a better dad. I just feel like I have shamed my father by leaving the Adventist Church, and at times I feel we are no longer as close as we were before. I just want to be a good son for my dad as he has been such a great father.

Hey, sweetie. Semper fi! Thank you for your service. I’m sorry this door is closing. The camaraderie you have with your fellow marines will last forever though. Once a Marine always a Marine.

I suggest you write down the above (saying you hope you haven’t shamed him.) and give it to him. They’ll probably find it in his wallet someday.

Don’t ever miss a chance to tell your dad how much you love him. And thank him for the gift of faith. Don’t worry about his soul. God will judge him according to what he was given. You have taken that gift a step further. But he’s on the same path as you, just not as far as you.

As far as your temptations… you’re young and you’re a recent convert. Satan is not happy with you. May I suggest you get a St. Michael prayer card (a laminated one) and carry it with you at all times. When you are tempted, take out the card and say the prayer to St. Michael. It’s very powerful. And he’s the patron of Mariners and Pilots. I know a lot of Marines who wear St. Michael medals.

I once read a phrase that helped me through difficult times: The castle of my dreams has collapsed. I am building a cathedral in the ruins.

You have a lot to work with (even a mom and sister who don’t understand you but love you anyway.) You will win them over by the excellence of your character after your conversion. You don’t need to convince them with words. Let your actions do it.

Good luck. Pray for God’s guidance. You have a good foundation. Now work on it. You have much to be proud of. And again, thank you for your service. Something in you seeks out a challenge in your job and your religion. You picked two of the most difficult paths. You will do fine. You dont’ shrink from the challenge.

I’ll pray for you.

Now go make the rest of your life as successful as you’ve made this part.

 

[stteresasgirl]

Cory,

Ah, yes…true trial of faith, my brother! How else would it be within this world? :banghead:

Strive hard to remember that God loves you and He is with you. You are His child! At this time, look to His beloved Son and unite your sufferings with Him. Remember that no one understands your temptations, abandonment, and humiliation better than He. It is within suffering that our souls truly reach out toward Christ and Christ alone.

When you experience ridicule, remember John 15:18-19: “If the world hates you, be aware that it hated me before it hated you. If you belonged to the world, the world would love you as its own. Because you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world - therefore the world hates you.” Cory, he has touched and revealed himself to you. As a result, a large part of you is no longer “of this world”. Christ told us of the resulting consequence.

One last thing…I recently completed a paper on Abraham’s sacrifice of Isaac. Oh, the pain resulting from the request to sacrifice his PROMISED son. However, God HAD to test Abraham faith to the fullest extent. Not for His sake, but for Abraham’s! (Along with those who followed after him.) You see, God does not need one of us to validate Him; He is the Almighty! However, we need Him! God has an individual plan for each of us in which He offers us to share in Christ’s mission on this earth. That mission encompasses true love and sacrifice. However, the true road to Christ is narrow and hard, not wide and easy. (see Matthew 7:13-14) In order to journey this road our faith needs to be purified and strengthened in order to accomplish this. As shown in the life of Abraham, God created an event that would build up Abraham’s faith. As a result, Abraham would be able to carry out God’s chosen role for him within salvation history. That history lead to the glorification of Christ. Our lives, too, should lead to His glorification. His love leaves us in such a state of gratitude.

Okay, one last, last thing…immerse yourself in studying of the lives of saints. They are great role models especially to those who suffer.

God bless you and keep you close to His Sacred Heart! I will be praying for you.:hug1:
stteresasgirl

 

[rskempf]

Hello again Cory,

I wanted to say first that I am glad you had the time and place to study the early church fathers. This topic of study is like a “missing link” that once found is very powerful in affirming the catholic faith. I know it does not seem like it in my world and maybe in your world too, but know this, there are a lot of strong believers in this Church founded by Jesus Crist - upon the rock. We are like close brothers and sisters.

You asked for recommendations. I have one. I know you may not feel like a success at this point in life. Maybe this is how your dad feels after the divorce too. I have not experienced this but believe it can be devastating to the parents and children. I am wondering if your dad needs your help because of this. Maybe your dad needs to know he is really loved and you are proud of him. Can you go on a canoe trip with him for one day to just spend time together? Do not try to solve family problems or dig up the past too much, except to talk about the good times.

I know some day I will be staring down at my dad’s grave and re-playing all that happened, wondering if I could have done better in our relations. I hope I can smile a little at the end of this moment and say inside, “wow, we had some good times.”

Let me know what you think.

Till next time, may God bless you!

Rick

 

[GraceDK]

Cory, you are young and probably want to find and marry a good Catholic girl some day. Start thinking about that already and pray for your future bride when temptation comes. Act like you prefer that she acts, in preparation to meeting you.
Sins of impurity are against our future spouses, ourselves and Christ. In the long run it matters very much that you stop sinning today rather than tomorrow.
For great encouragement: chastity.com/

 

[iluvmybabies]

Hello brothers and sisters in Christ! I had to post here, haven’t been around in a while! The Marines have been taking up a lot of my time.
I’m having a lot of trouble in my life right now. I am the lone Catholic in my entire family, and that includes grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, etc along with my brother, sister, mother, and, most importantly to me, my father. My father and sister are Seventh Day Adventists. That’s what my father raised my brother and sister and I as. In fact, it’s thanks to my dad that I am a Christian at all. The rest of my family are baptists or non denominational (my mom is nondenom; her and my dad are divorced since 1995). But anyway, last year I questioned my Adventists beliefs and studied Catholicism, and it made so much sense to me. The writings of the Early Church Fathers proved to me the Catholic faith was the faith of the early Church. I became Catholic September of last year while at Parris Island, the Marine Corps recruit training depot. It took me a few months, but I finally told dad I was a Catholic. He took it well, but we don’t talk about it much. My mom and sister found out, and they make fun of me for believing what the Church teaches, and I am not free to be Catholic around them. My dad doesn’t say anything about it.
It really breaks my heart, because I love my dad more than anyone on earth. He is my hero, and God blessed me so much with such a great earthly father. I could never have asked God for a better dad. I just feel like I have shamed my father by leaving the Adventist Church, and at times I feel we are no longer as close as we were before. I just want to be a good son for my dad as he has been such a great father.
Besides that, I have personal sins I struggle with on a daily basis. These sins are overpowering. Frankly, they have to do with sexual immorality. I know I am not the only man that struggles with these things, but Satan has intensified his attacks against me very recently.
And on top of that, a lot has happened to my career as a Marine, and it’s ending very soon. I am getting an admin seperation (simply put, it’s a nice way of saying I am getting kicked out of the Marines). I didn’t do anything wrong as far as discipline is concerned. It’s a long story that I don’t want to get into here.

With all these things on my shoulders everyday, I feel like I am falling apart. I just try to carry on each day, and by God’s grace I have. But these things are burdening my heart.
Brothers and sisters, I could use prayers, words of encouragement, and some advice would be welcome. I need help very badly…
God bless us all, and ALL His believers in Christ, wether in this flock or not,
-CJ

God bless you! I am deeply sorry to hear about your circumstance. Life is really not easy and especially when you feel you have disappointed someone you love. You are an adult and believe me I am still learning this myself…Maybe you could speak with your father in private see if he’s willing to speak with you and share a moment together…You don’t have to talk about church but something else and go from there…

May God grant you the ability to carry on and make it through these difficult times.

 

[kresbrook]

Satan is surely at your door and, as many others said, he is not happy!

Please consider Eucharistic Adoration. Start calling parishes until you find somewhere you can go whenever you want to spend time with Our Lord. It will streghten you and your resolve to deal with Satan and his temptations. It is the biggest blessing I have ever had since being born to Catholic parents who raised me in the Church (and I have two children & am happilly married). In our little town we have 24 hour Adoration 362 days a year (Our Lord is hidden Holy Thursday until Easter morning). There is a separate Chapel where the Eucharist is exposed and honored by someone every second of every day.

Blessing to you in your struggles. Also don’t assume your father silence is dissapointment. It may not be.

 

[stteresasgirl]

You asked for recommendations. I have one. I know you may not feel like a success at this point in life. Maybe this is how your dad feels after the divorce too. I have not experienced this but believe it can be devastating to the parents and children. I am wondering if your dad needs your help because of this. Maybe your dad needs to know he is really loved and you are proud of him. Can you go on a canoe trip with him for one day to just spend time together? Do not try to solve family problems or dig up the past too much, except to talk about the good times.

What a great way to proclaim Christ’s love! To love and give back to your family despite the suffering caused by circumstances. That is the best way to show the power behind your Catholic faith. It is Christ’s way.

Also, I am in total agreement with Eucharistic Adoration. There is much power behind being in Christ’s presence. It is one way to be rejuvenated in His love, especially when the world has nothing left to give you.

Peace in Christ,
stteresasgirl:heaven:

 

[Salonika]

Cory_H:

Hello brothers and sisters in Christ! … I’m having a lot of trouble in my life right now.

Yes, Cory you are having a hard time – a sufficiently hard time to send your stress levels well up the scale. Please make sure you look after yourself as that will help you through this very difficult time.

Cory_H:

I am the lone Catholic in my entire family.

Making a different choice from your family in any major area is stressful. It also takes a lot of strength to make such a change. Congratulations for having that type of strength.

Cory_H:

It took me a few months, but I finally told dad I was a Catholic. He took it well, but we don’t talk about it much. My mom and sister found out, and they make fun of me for believing what the Church teaches, and I am not free to be Catholic around them. My dad doesn’t say anything about it.

Try and view your father’s reaction as positive (as compared to that of some of your other relatives). It can’t be easy for him to come to terms with your change of religion but he has taken the first step acceptance. Further steps are likely.

Cory_H:

It really breaks my heart, because I love my dad more than anyone on earth. He is my hero, and God blessed me so much with such a great earthly father. I could never have asked God for a better dad. I just feel like I have shamed my father by leaving the Adventist Church, and at times I feel we are no longer as close as we were before. I just want to be a good son for my dad as he has been such a great father.

Your dad sounds a man of integrity. Such a man wouldn’t expect you to live a lie about your beliefs. But it will take him time to come to terms with your decision.

Cory_H:

And on top of that, a lot has happened to my career as a Marine, and it’s ending very soon. I am getting an admin separation

No wonder your life feels in crumbles - change of religion, change of job, coming change of status (military to civilian) and probably change of location plus trying to make a behaviour change. Alone these are enough to put you well up the stress scale and have you feeling that you are “falling apart”.

Cory_H:

Brothers and sisters, I could use prayers, words of encouragement, and some advice would be welcome. I need help very badly.

Hopefully you have support re the separation from the Marines from within that service.

Also think you should consider spiritual direction and/or counselling as you have so many things going on and this would help you structure your dealing with them. Otherwise you are likely to spend a lot time going round and round in circles.

Also suggest you tell your Dad what a great dad he is - and maybe also give him a big hug. Thank him also for bringing you up able to make difficult decisions and be your own man.

Best wishes

Salonika