Loneliness and depression

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seanom

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Hello there my sisters and brothers in Christ,
My name is Sean. I’m 16 and I live in Ireland. The reason I posted this is because I often feel extremely lonely and depressed at times. I feel so isolated as a young teen who is trying to live his faith. I have a few close friends who are devout and believing, but I still feel so lonely. The majority of people in my town who go to regular mass are elderly. There is a prayer group I belong to for young people, but the numbers are very small. I feel so lonely sometimes. I hate being on my own for too long. I love the company of young people who are into their faith. I feel like no girls don’t like me. I just want to be happy and fulfilled. I find life quite hard at the moment. It’s really hard to be young and Catholic in modern day Ireland. Any advice??:rolleyes:
 
Sean,

To be honest, I think it is tough to be 16 most everywhere! :o. I am sorry that your situ seems a bit dismal right now. As for girl advice, I can tell you what my grandmother would tell me: they are like buses; if you miss one, another will be along soon. It is true.

Sometimes looking at things from a different perspective can make a huge difference. I think it is Cardinal Dolan who said something along the lines of “Joy is the infallible sign of God’s presence.” Instead of focusing on the people NOT at Church, concentrate maybe on your own life…are you about the business of being the young Catholic you are looking for? Try looking for opportunities to shine His light.

The other pieces will fall in when you are not worrying over them.

Best,
 
Hi Seanom!

First off, kudos to you for being so faithful at a young age! You must have been raised very well and you probably have a great head on your shoulders. Faith has carried me through tough times and in good times it has made me be very appreciative of what has been given me in life. So keep seeking the Lord with all your heart. Keep praying and going to your prayer groups and persevere through the tough times.

There is a difference between depression and just being lonely. I would consider going to a trained professional (Catholic counselor) if you feel that you are depressed. Even still, perhaps you should bring these issues to your priest and maybe look into getting a Spiritual Director? Depression certainly can be alleviated!!! Loneliness can be alleviated too but it is also a part of life from time to time. I am a male, 28 yrs old, and hopefully will be married soon, but I can imagine even if you are married to someone for 50 years you can still be lonely at times.

As far as suggestions to help the loneliness…I’d look into doing everything you can to perhaps improving your social skills. I notice a pattern amongst the young where they over rely on technology and thus the social skills suffer. Even though Facebook is very popular, if someone only has interactions on Facebook it can feel quite lonely. A good book for social skills (and we ALL can benefit from this, not just those that are shy) is “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” I would look into other books that would help your Spirituality as well. Keep praying too. Prayer is the best weapon we have.

I wouldn’t quite worry about girls not liking you. This may not sound like the most encouraging thing in the world, but I didn’t date until I was 24 years old. At one point in my early 20’s I thought I was not capable of dating a girl and that they were looking for something else. Girls do look for different things at a younger age but as boys and girls grow older, those extraneous things are less important. If you have a good head on your shoulders (and it seems like you have a gem of a brain) you will find yourself a wonderful woman that will be your best friend and admire you for your faith and positive influence.

I would look into getting help from either a Catholic Counselor or a Priest. They will have some great practical answers for you…and remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Above all else, seek the Lord in everything that you do. God bless you and your heart of gold.
 
The above poster is spot on btw! It is tough to be 16 anywhere!

Try all you can to cultivate a JOYFUL spirit. Hold on to this quote. “Let the joy of the Lord be my strength. We have no reason for not being joyful, since Christ is with us. Christ is in our hearts. Christ is in the poor we meet. Christ is in the smile we give to others, and He is in the smile we receive from others.” -Mother Theresa
 
I think you need to find an adult you trust to talk to, it might be a good idea to talk to your priest. Explain how you are feeling. You seem to be saying you are feeling isolated which is very difficult at any age but particularly when you are young. No one should have to feel like this but the way to move beyond this feeling is to talk to someone you trust.
 
One thing for sure is that you have to fight against depression or it will become a habit with you. Speaking to a priest or spiritual director as posters have already mentioned is the first step. You need support…emotionally and spiritually.
Volunteer with a church ministry. Start a prayer group on your own. You and two people are enough. When others hear of it, they may be interested to join in. There should be an order to the meeting. An opening prayer, a topic to read, and discussion. Or maybe you can start a book club. Each member would need to read the same Catholic book in 6 weeks. Then discussion at a meeting–time and place. Some may not complete the reading, but still have something to contribute. Offer your loneliness and depression up to God for peace in the world or other intention. Depression keeps you from living and pleasing God. He said let not your hearts be troubled. Praying for you, that whatever it is that is holding you back, you will find peace of mind, heart, and soul.
 
seanom said:
Hello there my sisters and brothers in Christ,
My name is Sean. I’m 16 and I live in Ireland. The reason I posted this is because I often feel extremely lonely and depressed at times. I feel so isolated as a young teen who is trying to live his faith. I have a few close friends who are devout and believing, but I still feel so lonely. The majority of people in my town who go to regular mass are elderly. There is a prayer group I belong to for young people, but the numbers are very small. I feel so lonely sometimes. I hate being on my own for too long. I love the company of young people who are into their faith. I feel like no girls don’t like me. I just want to be happy and fulfilled. I find life quite hard at the moment. It’s really hard to be young and Catholic in modern day Ireland. Any advice??:rolleyes:
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Can you do some volunteer work somewhere like a hospital, library, church, school? This will give you some company and broaden your outlook. Can you get a little job somewhere, doesn’t matter what it pays as long as it brings you into contact with people. Do you have brothers and sisters? Try to make friends with them and let them be your company. Have you explained your problem to your Mom and Dad? Set out a program of good reading which should included the lives of the Saints. 👍
 
Praying for you, Sean. Others have given great advice; I’ll once more stress the counselor. The difference between being lonely and being depressed is a HUGE one, so please seek help. If you are indeed depressed, it is important that you get treatment.

On the bright side, you seem like an awesome guy. Sorry about your girl trouble. I hope you find a way of dealing with your loneliness! Please always remember that you are never alone; God is only a prayer away, and he is always with you even in tough times. CAF is here for you, too.

God bless,
classica
 
Hi Sean!

Truth is, high school’s hard for basically everybody! Pretty much every teen feels alone and not understood at some point and being a Catholic teen can certainly increase feeling of not fitting in. I know from experience. But I guess what I did was accept that I was different and I found that people liked be anyway. I didn’t give up my principles, yet I still hungout with people who were not as religious as I was. I didn’t hide away or isolate myself. I did all the things the other teens did accept you know, drug, drinking, sex, and other activitiea that were contray to my faith. People were cool with it and respected it.

Anyway, I’m just saying it’s important to be social but at the same time, make sure not to put yourself in compromising situations. Stay away from parties where you know there’s going to be drugs, alcohol and/or promiscuity. Have many aquaintances and keep a few very close friends who have the same values as you. :)I’m

Good luck and God Bless! 🙂
 
Hi Sean,

I’m a 29 year old Iraqi war veteran, I’m aware of what it feels like to feel disconnected and isolated from your community. Remember first when combating depression you are a uniquely individual creation of God Almighty placed on this earth with a purpose, even if that purpose is not currently self evident. Second you are precious to God. I have a Franciscan friend who introduced me to the Stations of the Cross, it is a great meditation. Finally don’t dismiss the old guys, there is much wisdom and some pretty cool stories to be heard.

Prayers for you in your times of trouble
 
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