Loneliness

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AnotherMe

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Can loneliness be a blessing? If a man is always alone might that be God’s way of steering him in life? I am often alone and sometimes lonely. I’m not looking for pity. I just want an honest dialogue on the subject.
 
I believe The Lord takes us where we need to be so we can grow closer to Him.
God alone is enough. Being alone with God we are united with all.
 
Well lonely people are more independent I suppose, they don’t rely on friends and have little peer pressure to lead them astray.
 
Loneliness can be your cross too. I know all about that. If you don’t mind being alone, or if you find yourself always thinking of spending that lonely time for the good of God and feel that you might like that life, then that may be for you.
AnotherMe said:
Can loneliness be a blessing? If a man is always alone might that be God’s way of steering him in life? I am often alone and sometimes lonely. I’m not looking for pity. I just want an honest dialogue on the subject.
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Yes it can be a blessing look at priest they are alone much more than we ever know
 
I’ve dealt with it too. I just keep pressing forward and praying and seeking God
 
There were some of the saints which seemed to like to spend a lot of time alone to be able to better have a relationship with God.

Though, even religious people still generally need some kind of support. They normally find support with each other, so often really aren’t alone, either.

Being alone does have many advantages, though. You don’t answer to anyone, probably. You might have more freedom to do what you want without having to always worry about how your actions might impact on others.

You can be quite independent.

I’m alone, and a number of married people have told me they envy me! They tell me I have my freedom.
 
In the meantime, would you consider offering up your suffering to God?

Solitude is one things saints have sought out. I don’t know about loneliness, though.

If you are feeling lonely, would you also consider looking into ways to be more with people? To me, loneliness is sort of like hunger or thirst, or when we feel pain. It tells us something’s wrong so that we can take some kind of action.

If you are feeling lonely, it probably means your emotional needs aren’t being met. What I’d suggest would be for you to try to reach out a bit more…maybe go to your church and see if they have some groups there. You can even try several Catholic churches.

Also, I’ve found at least some fulfillment, at least at times, through volunteering. I’ve tutoring people, taught some how to read and write, both in English and Spanish. I’ve volunteered at hospitals in various capacities.

I’ve also made a number of good friends that way. It’s sometimes an unforeseen benefit of volunteering. Also, some places have benefits for volunteers. Hospitals often have volunteer departments, where one has something in common, events.

I’d recommend trying something…going out to exercise, joining a group, volunteering, something!

I have a lot of problems with loneliness, myself. Volunteering helps me. I’d like to join some groups, but it’s more difficult since I’m in Mexico. They don’t have the variety of groups you do in the US.

There are also support groups in the states for just about anything!
 
ClearWater said:
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Also, I’ve found at least some fulfillment, at least at times, through volunteering. I’ve tutoring people, taught some how to read and write, both in English and Spanish. I’ve volunteered at hospitals in various capacities.

I’ve also made a number of good friends that way. It’s sometimes an unforeseen benefit of volunteering. Also, some places have benefits for volunteers. Hospitals often have volunteer departments, where one has something in common, events.

I’d recommend trying something…going out to exercise, joining a group, volunteering, something!
!
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Two or three timesI reached out to volunteer organizations to offer my services. Each time they never got back to me. It was very disappointing.
 
I do pray that God will guide you to the right person or guide the right person to you!

I was in the same situation until recently when I met someone. It lasted a short time but alas, things didn’t work out and ended up causing a lot of hurt feelings and sorrow.

I must confess one thing–even though I was thankful to God for having met someone, I felt a stinging conviction that I only wish I loved God as much being in love with someone made me feel.

But to every thing there is a season 🙂
 
AnotherMe said:
Can loneliness be a blessing? If a man is always alone might that be God’s way of steering him in life? I am often alone and sometimes lonely. I’m not looking for pity. I just want an honest dialogue on the subject.
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You may be lonely, but you are not alone. God is always with you. Praying for you.
 
I think it’s normal for people who aren’t “coupled” to be lonely at times. Maybe you can take some fun classes at a community college or some other place - you would meet people who shared your interests.
 
AnotherMe, I’m looking for that answer myself too, feeling lonely is a very real thing which takes away the zeal of life from a person. One thing that works for me is to try ridding yourself of certain habitual sins that you may have, whenever you are able to overcome an obstacle with God’s grace, there will be joy in your heart. If there is none, work for the Lord, and that can be done alone as well, through fasting and constant prayer.

On to the question on whether God is blessing the lonely. I very much doubt so, I think loneliness is a negative subjective feeling, people can be filled with company, friends and family and still feel lonely whereas most introverts I know can mostly be alone and feel fulfilled by surrounding themselves with the things they enjoy while being alone. However, being left alone can become a blessing since God can lead us closer as we respond by being silent in our hearts to grow closer to Him.
 
LOL!!

You certainly won’t receive pity as much as maybe support in your aloneamosity. You have to look outside the box and see the clarity to anyone elses position where they are hindered at times because they have too much company and are unable to unburden themselves from that yoke.

“the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence.”

Being alone is a state of mind, because as a true believer you are apart of the greatest family the…body of JESUS CHRIST; which includes all those living and those above and beyond in the heavenly realms.

This essentially means you are a brother or sister to the saints, the apostles, the angels in heaven and most of all lord JESUS the son of GOD and GOD the father in heaven and all his creation.

“How could anyone feel alone after understanding through JESUS the son of GOD unto the GOD?”

THAT IS ENOUGH TO WARRANT NEVER FEELING ALONE BY ACKNOWLEDGING AND KNOWING BEING A PART OF THAT THE GREATEST CONNECTION, THE GREATEST LOVE AND THE GREATEST FAMILY THAT IS ETERNAL!!!

Praise be to GOD the heavenly father and his son lord JESUS CHRIST forever>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
 
Just being lonely by yourself is so much better than being lonely in a crowd of people. I’ve had that happen several times in my life for various reasons. It is possibly one of the worse experiences of my life. After having had that happen, I feel that being alone by myself is a blessing to that.

As a boy I went to a meeting with my dad. It was at my request. We went and every once in a while I would look over at him standing in the room among other men and noone was talking to him. To see him that way was aweful. I decided, as young as I was, never ever again to put him in that situation.

So in my experience, being alone by myself, when it happens, is now not so bad.

“There are millions in this world who are craving the pleasure earthly things afford,
but none can match the wonderous treasure that I find in the Bread from heaven, JESUS THE LORD.” Hymn
 
I’m feeling tremendous loneliness right now, and have for most of my life. It’s funny because I am an introverted person and love and require a good deal of solitude, but I crave a certain type of connection that I can’t seem to find very often. It’s an emotional and intellectual connection that I do not experience with the vast majority of individuals. I’m never drained by interacting with the type of person I can find that kind of connection towards, but the trouble is, they tend to be like me and very busy. Not to mention, they are incredibly rare.

I know all too well how possible it is to feel incredible loneliness while amongst a lot of people. I’m in college, belong to several groups in and out of school, and make a point of being friendly with people. People tell me I am a wonderful listener and talk to me about their problems, but I find this after a point to be so draining. I want to have a meeting of minds, a connection with people, and I need it or I find it too draining. I have Aspergers and am a melancholic-choleric/INTJ (both describe me very well)…maybe others with similar personalities will understand.

I don’t know that there is anything I can do about this, but at least know that you aren’t alone.
 
AnotherMe said:
Can loneliness be a blessing? If a man is always alone might that be God’s way of steering him in life? I am often alone and sometimes lonely. I’m not looking for pity. I just want an honest dialogue on the subject.
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Yes, I believe loneliness can be a blessing.

The late Clark E. Moustakas wrote what I consider to be seminal works on this topic: Loneliness and Loneliness and Love. I believe they are out of print but regularly pop up on eBay. Reading them has definitely influenced how I view the topic and myself.

An excerpt from Loneliness (p. 24).

The loneliness of modern life may be considered in two ways: the existential loneliness which inevitably is a part of human experience, and the loneliness of self-alienation and self-rejection which is not loneliness at all but a vague and disturbing anxiety.

Existential loneliness is an intrinsic and organic reality of human life in which there is both pain and triumphant creation emerging out of long periods of desolation. In existential loneliness man is fully aware of himself as an isolated and solitary individual while in loneliness anxiety man is separated from himself as a feeling and knowing person.
Reading St. John of the Cross and others I have come to believe that we must rule our emotions, and I believe loneliness to be an emotion. In the end our emotions will be a blessing if we make choices pleasing to God in response to them. Consider what St. John of the Cross says concerning disordered emotions in the Ascent of Mount Carmel, Book 3 Ch 16.

These inordinate emotions are the source of unruly appetites, affections, and operations, and the basis for failure to preserve one’s strength for God.
All that being said, I understand the difficult struggle to maintain enough internal, emotional order to make decisions I believe serve God’s will. If not managed, loneliness can take us far from the path to God. I pray for all those waging that battle.
 
bsf said:
Yes, I believe loneliness can be a blessing.

The late Clark E. Moustakas wrote what I consider to be seminal works on this topic: Loneliness and Loneliness and Love. I believe they are out of print but regularly pop up on eBay. Reading them has definitely influenced how I view the topic and myself.

An excerpt from Loneliness (p. 24).

The loneliness of modern life may be considered in two ways: the existential loneliness which inevitably is a part of human experience, and the loneliness of self-alienation and self-rejection which is not loneliness at all but a vague and disturbing anxiety.

Existential loneliness is an intrinsic and organic reality of human life in which there is both pain and triumphant creation emerging out of long periods of desolation. In existential loneliness man is fully aware of himself as an isolated and solitary individual while in loneliness anxiety man is separated from himself as a feeling and knowing person.
Reading St. John of the Cross and others I have come to believe that we must rule our emotions, and I believe loneliness to be an emotion. In the end our emotions will be a blessing if we make choices pleasing to God in response to them. Consider what St. John of the Cross says concerning disordered emotions in the Ascent of Mount Carmel, Book 3 Ch 16.

These inordinate emotions are the source of unruly appetites, affections, and operations, and the basis for failure to preserve one’s strength for God.
All that being said, I understand the difficult struggle to maintain enough internal, emotional order to make decisions I believe serve God’s will. If not managed, loneliness can take us far from the path to God. I pray for all those waging that battle.
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The best way to fight this IMO is stay in grace and say the rosary. That’s internal changing. Science (once considered evil) might come up with some answers sometime.
 
AnotherMe said:
Can loneliness be a blessing? If a man is always alone might that be God’s way of steering him in life? I am often alone and sometimes lonely. I’m not looking for pity. I just want an honest dialogue on the subject.
Click to expand...
In my Spiritual journey (i spent a stint alone and confronting a few fears and gained revelation and spiritual growth from this time) i learnt theres a time and place that we need to be alone with Jesus in a devotional and learning way. But God ultimately designed us all for Relationship so if you are having trouble connecting with others ask God to reveal what He wants you to see and work on to better enable you to connect to others.

Isolation is the work of the enemy so dont ever fall into the trap of holding offense towards others, feeling you need to escape from being hurt or buying into a rejected feeling. If we want to feel loved and connected then be loving to others and persevere with connecting with others.
God designed us to be around others that may be quite different to us even challenging, frustrating and trying at times but God puts these people in our lives to ‘wear down’ our ‘rough edges’ so we can better tolerate and love others, when we are moulded by Him like this He can then use us in the most amazing MIRACULOUS ways, then living our God given purpose on earth, we are blessed! So its worth persevering to keep connected to God given people around you (only the ones God puts in your path) they are also very valuable in praying for us, so powerful! Never buy into Isolating yourself. God Bless You 😉 x
 
Loneliness is a cross, and our crosses are blessings in disguise. Draw closer to God during times of loneliness and your cross of loneliness will bring forth good fruit. God bless you.
 
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