Dear CutlerB,
First of all, I will pray for you. I have been there like so many other people. Can I witness to you what helped me? I hope so, here it goes.
I am very close to my parents and sisters and I joined the Air Force when I was 24 years old. I had to move to Texas leaving my family in Florida. I was very lonely. When I was at work, it was not bad, but since I worked 12 hours shifts, I would get four days off in a role and those were very difficult days. First, I did join a gym and went there whenever I did not work. Second, I started to go to daily Mass on the days I was off and stayed afterwards and prayed before the Blessed Sacrament or more like cry. I called my family daily, especially my mom. At that point, I was also tested by a protestant deacon I met who was my physical therapist because I hurt my back. He tried so hard to get me out of the Catholic Church. So I was struggling with new back pain and spiritual pain. I was a mess and was very very lonely. This Baptist deacon asked me a question that made a huge difference. He asked me if I knew Jesus and not just know about Him. I got angry at him when he accused me of not knowing Jesus. I realized later, he was right. So I started to pray more to Jesus and asking him to show me himself. I read the Bible and still prayed the Rosary too. I began to know Jesus. The next time he accused me of not knowing Jesus, it didn’t bother me. I simply said I do. Shortly after all this, I was discharged from the Air Force due to medical problems. I went back home and recovered at my parents. Two years later, the Veterans Affair wanting me to work, were willing to pay for me to go to college to get a master’s degree in Theology. My Bachelor’s degree was in Nursing. I could not do that kind of work anymore. So they sent me to college and I picked the Franciscan University of Steubenville in Ohio. That was different and too cold for me. What I experienced this time away from home and not having friends, was not loneliness anymore. The reason is because I knew Jesus was with me everywhere I went on this earth and I would never be lonely again. He did send me a great friend that I still keep in contact now. So you see, when I knew Jesus, I was never lonely again. I lived alone and only had one friend, but people would invite me to parties, nice ones since they were all theology majors, and I had fun. Unfortunately, it was not God’s will for me to finish my degree because my back pain got worse with the cold. I had to leave the school only after one semester there. I tried the second, but that was the cold months and VA would not pay anymore. So when I lived alone the first time and didn’t know Jesus or my Catholic Faith for that matter, I was very lonely and the second time I moved away alone, I knew Jesus and was never alone again and didn’t feel loneliness even though I was alone. I hope that helps you.
I will pray for you for I know it hurts a lot!! huggs
