Loneliness?

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DarkLight

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I’m really struggling with loneliness lately. Part of the trouble is with my job I am working evenings and weekends, which means getting out to social activities is very hard. I’d love to be more involved with my parish but most everything happens while I’m at work. The times I am home there’s really no social activity to be had, except with my mother.

Any ideas on living through this?
 
Ask a friend or coworker if they’d like to grab lunch/dinner sometime. Everyone eats, so this wouldn’t be an inconvenience.
 
Understand the issue and praying for you. Is there an evening activity going on at your parish that you would risk changing your schedule for, so the days line up? I’m assuming you have some days off during the week and hopefully you can switch something up.
 
Are there any Church/Parish activities you can get involved with during the daytime? Inquire if they need help in the Church/Rectory/School.
 
I know what you mean,A Couple of Decades ago I was extremly Lonely ,
The People I knew at the time had nothing at all in common with myself,
I was a lost little onion in a petunia Patch ((. That’s an Old Fashion Quote. ))
I would try to get into conversations but went flat,
I knew nothing about anything others spoke about,
I could talk about house renovations , Fence Building , Concreting , Landscaping ,Farming
All kinds of things, but not Car Stereos , Gambling , Sport, Alcohol etc etc

I know what I just stated has no connection to your lifestyle ,
But the Problem ultimately is similar ,Loneliness ,

Perhaps you need to look outside the Square , which I never thought of at the time,
Is there a chance you and your mother could join a Card Playing Group ?
Only thing wrong with that idea is their mostly older folk,
But you never know without taking a look,
perhaps joining a Brass Band ? Perhaps ask a Co Worker if they’d be interested in taking a look,
 
Join a gym; there are people there at all hours of the day!

Go out for coffee sometime, alone, and maybe you’ll meet someone!

Are there any friends you can hit up on facebook?

I think loneliness is a real problem today.

People are so isolated from each other, a majority of their social interactions are via technology, and I think a lot of people are hesitant or unskilled at asking for the IRL social interactions that they need. Be the one to reach out!

It’s hard, I know, I deal with it too, but most people want someone else to take the first step.

The key is not to “live through” loneliness, but to fix loneliness 🙂

pax
 
DarkLight said:
I’m really struggling with loneliness lately. Part of the trouble is with my job I am working evenings and weekends, which means getting out to social activities is very hard. I’d love to be more involved with my parish but most everything happens while I’m at work. The times I am home there’s really no social activity to be had, except with my mother.

Any ideas on living through this?
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Does your parish have a prayer chain you could join? While not directly interacting with others, it would be something positive you could do that would greatly benefit others and that might help keep you going during this rough patch.

I know you’re struggling right now but I know darkness never lasts as long as we hold onto hope.

All you can do is start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.

((HUGS))
CJ
 
tawny said:
Are there any Church/Parish activities you can get involved with during the daytime? Inquire if they need help in the Church/Rectory/School.
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This. It’s just a matter of making friends for different times. Get involved with something worthwhile and you will be too busy to think about your loneliness as much.
 
I work a lot of midnight, late evening and early morning shifts. In fact they rotate every two weeks. The best way I keep from getting lonely is to have friends from work who work the same or similar schedule. The rest of the world is working Monday through Friday 9-5 while I and my co-workers have a different reality. Thus it is easier to make plans with fellow co-workers who understand and live the same schedule.
 
Part of the trouble is that they’re not pure evening shifts. I can start as early as 9 and as late as 11, and end anywhere from 4 to 7. So I can’t commit to anything regular during the day either because sometimes I work during the day. Plus I don’t have my own car.

I’d love to invite people out for lunch but I feel like I’m lacking in opportunities to get to know people to begin with to get to the point where that’s acceptable.
 
DarkLight said:
I’m really struggling with loneliness lately. Part of the trouble is with my job I am working evenings and weekends, which means getting out to social activities is very hard. I’d love to be more involved with my parish but most everything happens while I’m at work. The times I am home there’s really no social activity to be had, except with my mother.

Any ideas on living through this?
Click to expand...
Have you given any thought to volunteering at places other than the parish? Places like the hospitals, senior centers, animal shelters, homeless shelters or Habitat for Humanity? You could volunteer at your own schedule.

Like you I also work unpredictable hours since I work for the railroad industry, so I understand how it is.

You could also volunteer for your parish prayer ministry.
 
Sarcelle said:
Have you given any thought to volunteering at places other than the parish? Places like the hospitals, senior centers, animal shelters, homeless shelters or Habitat for Humanity? You could volunteer at your own schedule.

Like you I also work unpredictable hours since I work for the railroad industry, so I understand how it is.

You could also volunteer for your parish prayer ministry.
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I don’t have a car, so it would have to be very limited hours to where I could go on the bus and not take up too much time away from my stuff at home.
 
DarkLight said:
I don’t have a car, so it would have to be very limited hours to where I could go on the bus and not take up too much time away from my stuff at home.
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Last I was aware, taxis typically run at all hours…?
 
DarkLight said:
That’s pretty much the same problem - I’m really in a position where I need to save as much as I can, and shelling out money on rides is not in the budget.
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One thing I would suggest is that, to any degree possible, you set aside a (even very small) amount to spend on yourself just for fun every month. $10 - or even $5 - for a ride to a free event could go a long way to cheering you up and getting you out to see people besides family and coworkers.

Your recent threads sound very defeatist. I worry about you. Your situation is very hard but it isn’t forever or inevitable, and there are things you can do. It just might be hard to see them.
 
pensmama87 said:
One thing I would suggest is that, to any degree possible, you set aside a (even very small) amount to spend on yourself just for fun every month. $10 - or even $5 - for a ride to a free event could go a long way to cheering you up and getting you out to see people besides family and coworkers.
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Right.
 
pensmama87 said:
One thing I would suggest is that, to any degree possible, you set aside a (even very small) amount to spend on yourself just for fun every month. $10 - or even $5 - for a ride to a free event could go a long way to cheering you up and getting you out to see people besides family and coworkers.

Your recent threads sound very defeatist. I worry about you. Your situation is very hard but it isn’t forever or inevitable, and there are things you can do. It just might be hard to see them.
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Agree
 
It’s definitely been a hard time lately. Having to move back home at 27 is very hard on many different levels. Between work, my own medical stuff, and family stuff, I’m ending up being emotionally exhausted. I’m really trying to find a stable place for myself and I’m afraid I’m not even always sure where to start.

I do appreciate the concern people on here have.
 
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