Lonely and need prayer/advice

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austinmarshall4

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Let me just start off by saying I apologize if this is the wrong place to put this put I couldn’t really decide what category to put this under. Also I’m sorry if this is worded a little awkwardly I have a tough time expressing myself through the internet/text Anyway a rundown of my situation is this: I have pretty much no friends. Don’t get me wrong I do have acquaintances and people that care about me but there is nobody my age (16 years old. Also I’m a male if that changes anything) that I would consider a “friend”. The two closest things I have to friends are my step-sister (at my dads house that I go to) and her friend (who I would consider an acquaintance). There are people that I talk to in school and at church and stuff but there are no real lasting relationships I would say I had with any of the kids there. The last friend I had drifted away about 2 months ago. I’m trying and praying really hard to become friends with my step-sister and her friend that I mentioned but it feels like I’m failing (I’m worried that I’m going to fall into the role of just “that guy that happens to come over on weekends”).

One of the worst parts is the over-thinking that comes with all of this. For example I was texting my step-sister’s friend and I knew she was at work so I knew she wouldn’t be able to text me back right away. Even though I knew that I was almost convinced that she were just ignoring me because they didn’t like me or something. I have evidence to show that she show some-what of an interest in me but despite everything I was telling myself I wasn’t able to shake the feeling that they just don’t like me. Then when she finally texted me back all those doubts went away and I realized how stupid I was being before hand. Most of the time though it just feels like I’m fighting a losing battle. I usually drift between 3 feelings: sad (to where I feel hopeless), bitter (where I want to stop trying and just shut the world away completely), and there are a few moments where I feel hopeful too. I don’t feel bitter too often and even if I do feel hopeless I still keep trying anyway. I’ve been praying for God to help me and I have also been praying to Saint Jude as well. I do realize that I rambled a bit and I apologize but I don’t really know how to put my feelings on paper right now. Any prayers/thoughts/advice is appreciated. Thanks in advance and God bless

tl;dr: I don’t really have friends and I’m having a tough time forming relationships with people my age
 
Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom in your time of need.
 
why do you want a friend? to discuss and share similiar likes, thoughts, etc., correct?

what do you like to do, talk about, experience? go to those places, do those things. potential friends will be there.

dont change who you are to get others to like you. thats not honest to anyone.

remember, you have been made by god. you are the only ‘you’ that there ever has been, or ever will be. he made you who you are for a reason. you were hand picked by god to be here on earth right now for a reason. and that is a pretty awesome and exciting responsibility to have - become the ‘you’ that god wants.

continue to live and act and pray that you will have the strength and courage to become whatever it is that he wants for you.
 
Lord come to my assistance. Lord make haste to help.
In your divine mercy, send good companions to this boy for friendship.

Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary mother of God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

St. John Bosco, who knew the heart of so many of the boys and young men that he brought to Jesus. You were a witness to them, showing them the best friend they could have … Christ himself. But you also recognized the importance of friendship and comradery. Pray for this young man, that he become surrounded by Godly youth that he can treasure as a lifetime friend.

In Christ we pray.
 
Your situation sounds very familiar…you are not the only one. So, let me start by saying don’t beat yourself up over this. Having friends is very important, and trust me, you will find some!

I feared the same thing when I was around 16 as well. It’s a tough age; in the middle of growing up and still being young. I always wondered whether I would have close friends I could bring home and spend time with. The turning point for me (and a lot of people) is when you actually get older and start driving/working/attending events etc. You are not the only one who wants/needs friends. Everyone does. That’s why you should stop thinking that everyone is against you or trying to ignore you.

All of my good friends now are people I met by complete chance. I didn’t know any of them when I was your age. I met most of them when I was like 18, and slowly I started to meet new people through them. It comes naturally. Just be yourself. Pro tip; don’t be too needy or desperate.

If you share things in common with some people, talk to them about those things whenever you’re together. Ask them about school/work or any other interesting things that happen in their life. Even if they don’t consider you a close friend right now, you’ll eventually grow closer together.

You can also try meeting new people at school. If school is good for anything it’s that it lets you develop social skills while you’re still young. Also, going to church is a great way to meet people as well. Just pray that God gives you the strength to be the best person you can be, and that you find friendship in the right people.
 
Do you have a job? I made most of my friends at your age at work, rather than at school. Most of my friends also went to school with me, but we became friends because of work and then it spilled over into school.

Friendships generally are forged over mutual interests. Work, a hobby or club you are a member of, that sort of thing.

You are in my prayers.
 
Thanks for all of the advice/prayers everyone. I figured I would post a little update. I ended up saying (since they were at work) “if I"m being annoying or it isn’t a good time you can tell me don’t feel like you have to talk to me” (bad thing to say but it felt like a good idea at the time God knows I wish I didn’t send that). I haven’t gotten a response and I sent it a little over an hour ago. I keep telling myself that they’re just at work/ just getting home so it’s no big deal but obviously there is that one huge part of me saying that they took those words to heart and aren’t talking to me now. I don’t know how to deal with these emotions right now.
 
And like I said about believing things even though I have no reason to believe them. She just texted me back and the reason she didn’t earlier is because she’s at work like I tried telling myself.
 
Things will work out. Life is full of opportunities. Often, when you least expect it, things can change in wonderful ways.
 
austinmarshall4 said:
And like I said about believing things even though I have no reason to believe them. She just texted me back and the reason she didn’t earlier is because she’s at work like I tried telling myself.
Click to expand...
The critic in our heads is usually far worse than anything anyone else thinks of us. 🙂
 
Dear child of the King of Kings…realize how very loved you are in Christ…ponder this for more than a few seconds…really…just think about this unconditional love being extended to you by Your Creator…please…take me seriously, most people spend very, very, very little time in contemplation…but that is what I am asking you to do. (Ideally, I would ask you to do so before the Blessed Sacrament during Adoration if your parish has it) IF YOU ARE SERIOUS about being lonely and really needing help I ask you to ponder this at length…! THIS in and of itself is the freedom you can have in your relationship with Jesus Christ and THIS is the ultimate of friendships!!! WHEN this happens all the rest falls in the right order and place and friendships will form around His purpose and plan for you. I will most definately pray for you to sense HIS emense love for you!
In His love,
mlz
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.
Amen

Some spiritual reading might help you:

Saints Quotes

Also don’t forget to pray the rosary. Go to sacrament of confession frequently too.
 
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