Long distance ave maria relationship

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I just need some (name removed by moderator)ut and prayer, i am a 50 year old widower of five years from california,and i recently met a 37 year woman from Texas on ave maria singles site,we have started an amazing long distance relationship first though e mails,texts and now phone,we have tremendous communication we talk on the phone for over an hour per day,i will be going in march to see her for the first time…i would never dreamed i would go so far to meet a woman but i feel imust as we have such a strong communication conection…we both have shared pictures and are attracted to each other but we both agree that is not our priority She has never been married an i have 3 daughters age 23,20 and 13 any (name removed by moderator)ut or advice and of course pray for me and my friend in this relationship,thanks
 
DH and I met via Ave and we too were long distance. I was 37 and he 43 when we married. We married 2 years after our first email exchange. We dated long distance for a little over a year, and were engaged 8 months. Fortunately, I had lots of frequent flyer miles due to my work. 🙂

I moved to my DH’s state after we married.

Long distance can work. It takes more effort. Mature people who are centered on a vocation can make it work if they are willing to invest in the relationship (financially and emotionally).

There are obstacles to overcome, and they should not be underestimated-- one of you will be moving if you do marry and that is a **big **deal. Just continue talking about everything and then when you think you’ve talked about everything… keep talking! Since you’ve been married before you know that no matter how prepared you think you are… you will find things that you didn’t expect. Since it’s her first marriage, and you have grown children, be sure to cover estate planning too.

I don’t know how long you’ve been on Ave, but I do know that sometimes the intial excitement and “amazing” conversations can burn out after meeting in person. I was on Ave 2 years before meeting DH, and I did meet several men-- a couple in state and the rest in other states-- via Ave. We did hit it off on the phone, talked for hours, etc. For various reasons after meeting things ended-- some on my part some on theirs. You just never know.

So, be cautious and guard your heart-- and hers-- for the first few meetings. Go in optimistically, but realistically.

DH and I will be celebrating our 4th anniversary this year. Ave was a blessing to us. I hope it will bless you as well.
 
The most important thing I would say is to make a committment to be completely honest with eachother. About everything, not just yourselves and practical things like your hisotries and your current circumstances, but also your feelings. And you should be on the same page about what you want and where your relationship is going. This is all just basic common sense so far. Since you met on Ave Maria, I’m assuming you’re both marriage-minded?

Also, like 1ke said, don’t expect that this “amazing” chemistry you’re feeling now will last forever and at the same intensity. God gives us the grace of this overwhelming feeling of connection and happiness to help people come together initially. There comes a time when you won’t necessarily be feeling the same way, but this is perfectly normal. The tough part is to see it for what it is and don’t necessarily think that you’ve lost anything. If it’s what both of you want and you’re being obedient to God, then you can make it work.

In my experience, keeping your focus on God and striving to discern His will for the both of you at every turn is the number one best thing you can do.
 
thanks again for the advice keep Rachel and i in prayer as we meet for the first time March 6th,God Bless,Joseph
 
jinedo58 said:
thanks again for the advice keep Rachel and i in prayer as we meet for the first time March 6th,God Bless,Joseph
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I certainly will! I pray this relationship will honor God and bring both of you closer to Him. Keep us posted. 🙂
 
You have rec’d great advice, and I don’t have anything to add…you sound like you both are taking things at a great pace, and are going about things in a good way. I hope things work out, it sounds like they might! Prayers for you and her.🙂 If it is God’s will, you will both know.
 
1ke said:
DH and I met via Ave and we too were long distance. I was 37 and he 43 when we married. We married 2 years after our first email exchange. We dated long distance for a little over a year, and were engaged 8 months. Fortunately, I had lots of frequent flyer miles due to my work. 🙂

I moved to my DH’s state after we married.

Long distance can work. It takes more effort. Mature people who are centered on a vocation can make it work if they are willing to invest in the relationship (financially and emotionally).

There are obstacles to overcome, and they should not be underestimated-- one of you will be moving if you do marry and that is a **big **deal. Just continue talking about everything and then when you think you’ve talked about everything… keep talking! Since you’ve been married before you know that no matter how prepared you think you are… you will find things that you didn’t expect. Since it’s her first marriage, and you have grown children, be sure to cover estate planning too.

I don’t know how long you’ve been on Ave, but I do know that sometimes the intial excitement and “amazing” conversations can burn out after meeting in person. I was on Ave 2 years before meeting DH, and I did meet several men-- a couple in state and the rest in other states-- via Ave. We did hit it off on the phone, talked for hours, etc. For various reasons after meeting things ended-- some on my part some on theirs. You just never know.

So, be cautious and guard your heart-- and hers-- for the first few meetings. Go in optimistically, but realistically.

DH and I will be celebrating our 4th anniversary this year. Ave was a blessing to us. I hope it will bless you as well.
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This is good advice. I also met my husband online when we were both 37. We were involved in a LDR (although not quite as long distance as yours). Unlike 1ke, we took things slower…we got engaged approximately 2 1/4 years after meeting one another and then married a year after that.

I ditto 1ke with respect to the first meeting…it is crucial and it’s best to do it sooner rather than later. Although I hope that you and your new friend have the same connection in person that you have on the phone, be prepared in case this is not how it turns out.

Have the two of you talked about children yet? If not, I think this is very important. She has never been married and will probably want to have children of her own. You, on the other hand, have already had 3 children. Would you want to have additional children with her (or anyone for that matter)?

Best of luck…
 
As a matter of fact we have discussed children and i would feel blessed to have children at this stage of my life,yes she would like children…we shall see what the Lord has in store for us, we are both doing a novena to Saint Joseph and asking for him to intercede for us…onceagain thanks for everyone’s (name removed by moderator)ut and prayers,Joseph
 
jinedo58 said:
As a matter of fact we have discussed children and i would feel blessed to have children at this stage of my life,yes she would like children…we shall see what the Lord has in store for us, we are both doing a novena to Saint Joseph and asking for him to intercede for us…onceagain thanks for everyone’s (name removed by moderator)ut and prayers,Joseph
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Sounds good Joseph…please let us know how things go! 🙂
 
well i have a praise report at this point our first meeting was a true blessing we connected in person as much or more then on the phone. We had a wonderful weekend mass,prayers.sight seeing,dinners,and a long romantic walk on the beach,we were really able to commuicate and talk about everything…the age factor did not even seeem an issue. I was so sad to leave her and her too…so keep us in prayer as Rachel and i journey on this long distance relationship.God Bless
 
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