Long work commute and effect on family?

[ThePCWife]

Long commutes are major health issues. Since there’s no kids, that at least isn’t a problem. But truckers love the open road…and have crippling health problems as a matter of course. So exercise and regular physical activity are things the 50something commuter should try to set up around the commute.

 

[Xantippe]

Long commutes are major health issues. Since there’s no kids, that at least isn’t a problem. But truckers love the open road…and have crippling health problems as a matter of course. So exercise and regular physical activity are things the 50something commuter should try to set up around the commute.

Diet would also tend to suffer, I imagine.

 

[Sunbreak]

I think it matters more how if he feels he can handle the commute. Around here, because there is so much traffic, it’s not unusual for commutes to be at least an hour - even if it’s just 12 miles distance. I see it as not much different as someone working overtime on a regular basis. I just don’t see this as being a big deal.

 

[pnewton]

Too many variables to answer, so I will only add on thought. That time can be very redemptive, or entertaining. There is much to do in the car if one is creative. Even using the phone to talk “business” so that the time at home doesn’t have to involve all the nuts and bolts of family life but can be of greater quality.

For me, the raise would have to be huuuuuuuuge. though.

 

[MomaMary8]

My DH had such a commute and 2 different points in his career and our married life. The first we knew was only temporary and lasted 6-8 months and lead to an eventual promotion, part of why we put up with it, and didn’t move closer. It was a rural drive and I had to buy him lots of books on tape to keep his mind engaged. (The library had zilch to choose from.) It wasn’t that bad in his opinion.

The second time was a large metro area. w/o traffic it was a 45 minute drive, with the business rush hour, it was 1.5 hour drive. That latter was stressful, but the job itself was stressful, and so he did not enjoy the drive. As his wife, I had dinner and house cared for, so he didn’t have to worry about making a meal, etc when he got home. It only left the weekend for him to spend with kids since they went to bed shortly after he came home. If it had been just us and if the job was enjoyable, we could have made it work. But it was a stressful company to work for and left no time for him to to engage with the kids. Sometimes you have to choose a long commute to live where and how you like. We now have a balance 20 minute commute for DH

 

[Bruised_Reed]

Long commutes are killing our country in ways you might not think of.

I can’t believe how far some of my co-workers live from our job. They are literally getting up at 3 AM or so to beat the rush hour into the city and sleeping in their car for an hour before work. Then forget the commute home which in my tri-state area can take anywhere from 2, 3 and even 4 hrs. in bad weather and throw in an accident, well you might as well pull over and go to sleep.

Is this a matter of affordable housing? I live in an area that has a lot of decent jobs but there is a dearth of affordable housing. It’s a rural area and people commute 1- 2 hours as well. A few companies offer benefit packages that are very competitive and descent wages. Many would move here if there were places to live but some up higher on the food chain live here part-time and travel 5-6 hours on the weekends because they don’t want to move away from the kids schools, friends, and yes, other opportunities e.g., in sports, etc.

There desperation to move out of the city to find a piece of grass and a white picket fence that they can afford has driven people to the far edges of the suburban world. It’s almost become a sickness, and they think nothing of the commute and the detrimental effects.

Are there empty apartment buildings and other housing that those desperate families could move into? Or did they move the suburbs or outer suburbs so they could find a home that was affordable? Or a better school district?

Well, these commutes are leaving people with little time for anything. Family, fraternal organization memberships, volunteer work, coaching, participating in politics, church attendance and other spiritual endeavors etc., etc. has all taken a back seat due to the “commute” and it’s having an effect on a lot of endeavors that people simply have no time for.

Well, we all have to make choices, but a long commute is not for me!

These people could move closer to their jobs but when it’s a two-income home which job? I have friends who changed jobs and some lucked out and found work close to home others found jobs that were farther away. Now, stability with homes and friends is also important to families. And while it’s unfortunate when a mom or dad can’t make it to every ball game but I believe these families are making difficult choices and trying to come up with the best possible scenario when there are limited choices.

 

[Burt_Macklin]

Is this a matter of affordable housing? I live in an area that has a lot of decent jobs but there is a dearth of affordable housing. It’s a rural area and people commute 1- 2 hours as well. A few companies offer benefit packages that are very competitive and descent wages. Many would move here if there were places to live but some up higher on the food chain live here part-time and travel 5-6 hours on the weekends because they don’t want to move away from the kids schools, friends, and yes, other opportunities e.g., in sports, etc.

There is a reason that the suburbs exist. When I was looking to relocate a 2800 sq foot home next to my office going to the desirable schools in the area would go for around 600k to 700k. Compare that to a similar home in the suburbs at 200k and the reason that people put up with 40 min commutes becomes obvious. Even if everything else is equal a home in the suburbs will still cost less simply because its location is less convenient to all the city amenities. Had I decided to buy close to my office it would have all been for naught anyway as we have moved three times in 7 years.

 

[Xantippe]

There is a reason that the suburbs exist. When I was looking to relocate a 2800 sq foot home next to my office going to the desirable schools in the area would go for around 600k to 700k. Compare that to a similar home in the suburbs at 200k and the reason that people put up with 40 min commutes becomes obvious. Even if everything else is equal a home in the suburbs will still cost less simply because its location is less convenient to all the city amenities. Had I decided to buy close to my office it would have all been for naught anyway as we have moved three times in 7 years.

There is that.

It’s a reasonable choice to keep kids in the same schools, live in the same neighborhood, and just commute–knowing that it’s only until the next job reshuffle.

 

[His_helpmeet]

A dear long time friend recently confided in me that he is considering accepting a position he was recently offered for a new job. I’m going to keep this as brief as I can and not go into too much detail on purpose but here’s the gist of it; the pay increase is dramatically significant but there is one catch. The catch is it’s basically a 1hr 20 minute commute each way!

Again I won’t go into great detail but moving is not an option for the time being (nor likely to be an option). He’s younger 50’s, married but no kids at home.

I was hoping that some who might have had such long commutes might chime in and share their experience good, bad, or otherwise and specifically how it impacted your family life/marriage?

As I know and am familiar with his location unless I am mistaken the drive will be basically be state highway through mostly small unpopulated towns in the midwest.

I commute about an hour and 20 minutes a day. It’s not a big deal for me. Then again, we live in a rural area so I’m used to us having to drive for awhile to get to a larger community.

I am married and my stepdaughter (aged 11) lives with us half-time. We are very fortunate in that my husband works 12-hour night shifts, so there is always someone home with her.

 

[k5thbeatle]

I guess all’s well that ends well as they say. Spoke with my friend and as it turns out the regional office is 1 hr 20 min away but the actual facility he would be working at is only 40 minutes away. While 40 minutes is still a bit of a drive it’s much more manageable than 1:20.

 

[twf]

An hour and 20 mins isn’t so bad. Most people I know take at least an hour to get to work via buses and subway or train.
They often use this time to answer emails, catch up on reading, make phone calls, listen to books/lectures on tape…they use it efficiently.

.

Yep. My commute is 45 min to an hour each way via public transit (ferry / train)…great time to surf the net, listen to audiobooks, read / compose emails, or even pray the divine office or rosary. Hour plus commutes are pretty darn common around here.

 

[Polluted]

I would rather live in poverty working at the neighborhood McDonald’s than commute 2 hours in traffic everyday.

I would rather be shot and buried alive.

 

[maryjk]

I guess all’s well that ends well as they say. Spoke with my friend and as it turns out the regional office is 1 hr 20 min away but the actual facility he would be working at is only 40 minutes away. While 40 minutes is still a bit of a drive it’s much more manageable than 1:20.

My husband used to commute for just over an hour each way. He started work at 7. But left home at 5:30. He would get off at 4, and I wouldn’t see him until after 5.

It was hard on him. But it was a great job with a good salary and great benefits. He did it for a few years.

Now he commutes 3 1/2 miles. Yep, he even comes home for lunch. We love it.

People do what they have to do.