Lookin' for some good, solid advice!

[AnnaTheresa]

I’m struggling with materialism. As an example, I buy clothes and never get around to wearing them because I feel like I have to first “use up” the clothes I have. I usually buy duplicates in case the item I really like gets ruined. This way I’ll always have a backup. This spring, I once bought six yellow shirts with the idea in mind that some of my friends may like them too. Bad idea. They weren’t interested. They wound up in the dumpster. Never worn. I didn’t really like them (they were a florescent yellow, not my favorite color) but I got a deal.

Religious books and gifts are another example. I recently spent over $200 on religious articles and gifts mostly with the idea of handing them out. I buy a lot of religious books (I read them too) and it’s not uncommon to buy more than one of the same book if it’s really good so I can give them out. Usually once I finished with the book I get rid of it. That is, unless I find it especially helpful for me. I’ve given a of religious things out to people over the years but I’m also stuck with a lot. I clear it away, regret the waste, and then repeat the cycle. lol Terrible, isn’t it?

I don’t necessarily hoard. My home is very clean. I love cleanliness/ simplicity. Stuff doesn’t have time to build up because it either gets given away, donated or put into the dumpster. But the cycle gets repeated and that’s where I’m looking for some advice! Do you have any tips or suggestions?

Lately I’ve come to the conclusion that I am thinking way too much for others on the one hand, and on the other hand, I’m actually a pretty greedy person.

Jesus Christ tells us not to be solicitous for these things. “Therefore I say to you, be not solicitous for your life, what you shall eat, nor for your body, what you shall put on.” Mat. 6:25. How can I practice this?

Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read this.

 

[AnnaTheresa]

I forgot to mention that my greed also comes in the form of taking on too many spiritual devotions. The terrible result is that I am left overwhelmed and hardly able to practice any of them. I can’t handle too much variety, yet I still greedily desire to practice them all because they’re so wonderful. I think I’m subconsciously thinking that at some point I’m going to find the time to practice them but that time never comes. Oh, how I hate the fact that I’m so greedy.

 

[sticknstring73]

I know how you feel. I ended up buying a lot of books detailing devotions but truthfully it all comes back to the mass and the rosary and one short meditation in the morning, anything else is just like what I call upkeep; morning/evening prayer, prayer at meals, if I hear an ambulance, etc.

Giving them away sounds great though, good idea!

 

[AnnaTheresa]

I know how you feel. I ended up buying a lot of books detailing devotions but truthfully it all comes back to the mass and the rosary and one short meditation in the morning, anything else is just like what I call upkeep; morning/evening prayer, prayer at meals, if I hear an ambulance, etc.

Giving them away sounds great though, good idea!

Whenever an ambulance passes or I catch the sound of its sirens, I’m in the habit of making the Sign of the Cross and asking God to grant all those who are to die that day the grace of a holy death. It’s great to see that someone else does this as well.

Thanks for your reply. The Rosary is definitely my favorite devotion but then there are so many wonderful devotions it’s so difficult, almost impossible to settle on just one. Siiiiiiiighhhh… I wish I wasn’t so greedy. How can I mortify greedy inclinations? I usually realize I’ve been greedy after the fact. Each time I say it will not happen again, but before I know it, it happens.

 

[Bonnie]

This spring, I once bought six yellow shirts with the idea in mind that some of my friends may like them too. Bad idea. They weren’t interested. They wound up in the dumpster. Never worn.

You put them in the garbage?! Next time, give them to a charity or thrift store - someone might appreciate them.

 

[Indigo_Cardinal]

You might want to seek professional help, this almost sounds like compulsive buying disorder.

 

[ynotzap]

, People have two profound human needs: (1) they need to know that Christ really does love them, personally. (2) they need to know that not only does Christ love them personally, but also really does care about their difficulties, whether MATERIAL, caused by themselves or not, or SPIRITUAL here and now and will help. You can make an act of trust: Jesus, my Lord and friend, I believe that your Sacred Heart is filled with boundless and personal love for me. I place all my trust in you, I ask pardon for my lack of trust in the past. I promise from now on I will never doubt your love and care for me, especially when I am troubled and tempted to discouragement. With child like confidence I entrust to you my past life with all it’s sins and failures and ingratitudes. I confide in your Providence and present moment with it’s cares and worries, knowing that You and Your blessed Mother are always watching over me and my interests.

 

[AnnaTheresa]

You put them in the garbage?! Next time, give them to a charity or thrift store - someone might appreciate them.

No, I didn’t throw them in the garbage. We have lots of “dumpsters,” large metal bins where people can drop off clothing which will be distributed to those in need. Sorry, I should have made that clear.

 

[AnnaTheresa]

You might want to seek professional help, this almost sounds like compulsive buying disorder.

Believe it or not, I don’t shop as often as any of my friends. I will go weeks without making a single purchase. I have no compulsive need to shop and do even particularly enjoy shopping. It’s when I do decide to make a purchase that I tend to buy more than what I actually need, or might need. Only later do I realize that I didn’t need 9 pairs of pants! I grew up poor. The little clothing I did have came in the form of hand-me-downs. I guess sometimes it’s hard to know in the moment how much is too much. lol of course, later on it becomes all too obvious.

 

[AnnaTheresa]

, People have two profound human needs: (1) they need to know that Christ really does love them, personally. (2) they need to know that not only does Christ love them personally, but also really does care about their difficulties, whether MATERIAL, caused by themselves or not, or SPIRITUAL here and now and will help. You can make an act of trust: Jesus, my Lord and friend, I believe that your Sacred Heart is filled with boundless and personal love for me. I place all my trust in you, I ask pardon for my lack of trust in the past. I promise from now on I will never doubt your love and care for me, especially when I am troubled and tempted to discouragement. With child like confidence I entrust to you my past life with all it’s sins and failures and ingratitudes. I confide in your Providence and present moment with it’s cares and worries, knowing that You and Your blessed Mother are always watching over me and my interests.

Ynotzap, wow, thank you so much for this!!! That’s exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.

 

[fred_conty]

AnnaTheresa.
It’s a good thing to give a book to someone else when you are finished reading it.
Or to buy more good books to give to someone else…that’s called thoughtful.

As far as your devotions, they are not mandatory, tho some are very helpful. But if you decide to change for a while to test it out, that seems fine. It’s just that you don’t want to be emptying out your spiritual pantry. And a priest would be able to direct you on this, as long as he strikes you as your kind of priest…that is one who you think would be helpful to you.

Clothes are a different subject. I think a lot of women just like to shop around and buy things that please them. That is ok. 4 yellow shirts sounds more like a misjudgement rather than a sin. However if this is leading into financial problems, then this is something else. Once in a while it’s ok to go overboard.

 

[pianistclare]

Maybe a visit with your spiritual; Director might be in order.

 

[Bonnie]

No, I didn’t throw them in the garbage. We have lots of “dumpsters,” large metal bins where people can drop off clothing which will be distributed to those in need. Sorry, I should have made that clear.

Thanks for clearing that up! Around here, dumpsters are for garbage.

 

[Mary_Estelle]

You put them in the garbage?! Next time, give them to a charity or thrift store - someone might appreciate them.

I agree. I think you may be suffering from a sense of poverty from childhood or insecurity, something to think about. While you may not consider yourself a hoarder, you may be or well on the road to this condition. Use you money for something greater, i.e.-charity. It’s like milk: “It does a body good.”

 

[Mary_Estelle]

Just a secondary note. Hoarding is very often a misunderstood or unrecognized condition and there are varying degrees of hoarding or in accumulating stuff. This is not medical advise, just something to look into with your SD, Dr. or even a good friend. Prayers and peace.

 

[AnnaTheresa]

AnnaTheresa.
It’s a good thing to give a book to someone else when you are finished reading it.
Or to buy more good books to give to someone else…that’s called thoughtful.

As far as your devotions, they are not mandatory, tho some are very helpful. But if you decide to change for a while to test it out, that seems fine. It’s just that you don’t want to be emptying out your spiritual pantry. And a priest would be able to direct you on this, as long as he strikes you as your kind of priest…that is one who you think would be helpful to you.

Clothes are a different subject. I think a lot of women just like to shop around and buy things that please them. That is ok. 4 yellow shirts sounds more like a misjudgement rather than a sin. However if this is leading into financial problems, then this is something else. Once in a while it’s ok to go overboard.

I definitely do not want to be emptying out my spiritual pantry. However with so many choices and not enough time to practice them all, I really feel like I ought to choose maybe one or two for the time being. But that’s easier said than done. This is where I really feel like I’m being greedy because I don’t want to give up all these devotions. I guess it would seem like I’m “missing out”. I feel like a kid in the candy store. Having so many choices almost always ends with choose none. See what I’m getting at? It’s an all-or-nothing attitude that I’ve got which almost always leave me with nothing.

 

[AnnaTheresa]

It doesn’t sound like “materialism” or “greed” to me at all; actually, it sounds quite the opposite.

Sounds more like:

1. You don’t like waste:
   This is why you want to “use up” what you have first, before putting on the new clothes. This is also why you bought extra shirts because they were a good deal.
2. You are cautious and like to be prepared:
   This is why you buy back-ups.
3. You are generous and want to make people happy with the same things that make you happy:
   This is why you bought shirts for friends (fyi, most people don’t look good in yellow) and the extra religious stuff to give away.

The only “flaw” I see in what you are doing is you are mistakingly choosing items that perhaps you and your friends won’t end up wanting.
Your motive is wonderful, but if you don’t have a good idea ahead of time that they will want or like, then there is a decent chance you will be “stuck” with the items. And if you buy things for yourself just because they are a good deal but really, it isn’t something you truly like (again, the yellow shirt) you don’t really end up having a good deal because you end up not wanting to wear it.

So my only advice to you would be…pause for a moment before buying and choose more wisely items that you know you and your friends would like, would really want, and can use…and try not to get excited because something is on sale or whatever.

And…be nicer to yourself and allow yourself to wear the new clothes along with the older ones–it’s okay, you deserve it!

.

Wow. This has been most helpful! Thank you so much for your insightful comment!!! I’m going to take your advice.

 

[AnnaTheresa]

I agree. I think you may be suffering from a sense of poverty from childhood or insecurity, something to think about. While you may not consider yourself a hoarder, you may be or well on the road to this condition. Use you money for something greater, i.e.-charity. It’s like milk: “It does a body good.”

Thanks. My parents and grandparents were very resourceful and nothing was wasted. Whatever we had we used and we never lived beyond our means. There was a lot we had to do without but we never gave it much thought. New things were reserved for birthdays and Christmas which made what we got extra special. It’s also how we survived. It’s how we learned that being without the latest toys, clothing, etc. takes nothing away from the fun and good times we had as kids. Nevertheless we children were taught the value of a dollar and why it’s important to take care of what you have. Money is time. My father worked and my mother took care of the home.