'Looking' at pornography

[Cyclophile]

I have to ask something though, I have noticed the desire to look at this stuff goes down when I masturbate… is it a good or a bad thing to do say if I felt the urge to look at this stuff, to just masturbate? by holding it all in after a few days It just seems I want to look at this stuff…

I am having my own struggles as well. I am, in fact, going to do a face to face confession with my Priest, someone I know and trust. I am 40 and I’ve had that addiction since shortly after puberty. For me… it has been getting more and more dehumanizing in the material I view and the violations of chastity.

Part of my issue has to do with being divorced. I really miss the intimacy from my prior relationships but that longing has turned into an obsession that warps my vision regarding relationships and love. It also is keeping me from seeking new relationships (its not just me waiting for my annulment to go through)

At any rate re: the urge you mention that goes away after… think of that like the alcoholic… after a long bender declaring through the haze of his hangover: “I’m never drinking again” …and then breaking down and drinking again after the pressure and desire build up again… cycling over and over.

 

[tonydavies]

It is a sin to look lustfully at something: to take an inordinate enjoyment from the desire of sexual pleasure.

If we look at pornography from a relatively unmotivated position: looking, not gazing, as it were, is this sinful? If it is, why, and which class of sin?

Thank-you.

Jesus said ‘blessed are the pure of heart, they shall see God’. This statement implies if we are not pure of heart we will not see God. If we look at pornography with the knowledge of the beatitude blessed are the pure in heart, we are choosing the viewing of pornography over the future possibility of seeing God. Therefore it is a choice. Do we look at porn and forfeit the vision of God or forfeit looking at porn for the chance to see God for eternity.
Therefore it is the sin of choosing an object over God. It is also a test of where our heart lies. God or flesh.

 

[francisca]

Hello everyone, I am 18 and I really want to kick this , over the past 3 years I have been looking at it, but I always thought meh go to confession come out and then go to confession again, but the past few months have really got me worried about where I will go when I die… making me quite anxious…
How do I kick this habit? Do I tell my Mum or someone else for help?
I have tried blocking sites words, but when the desire hits me I always seem to find a way around all the work that I’ve done blocking stuff in the best possible way.
As the situation stands, for some reason I can go 2 weeks fine without looking at the rubbish, then I get the urge to Masturbate and with that urge the longer I hold it, the more I feel a desire to look at a certain pornstar…
How do I go about stopping this :S it feels like a never ending thing, but If the desire only comes once a fortnight, is this and addiction, to me it feels more like a mind set, yea 2 weeks are up now, confession is in only a week or two might as well do it…
If you know what I mean.
Thanks, but I really really need help, please.

Hi dazzi,

It’s a good thing that you want to stop this desire. I really think that it’s a good idea to let your mom know. The reason why is : You need someone to help you to set “restriction” in your computer. You also may choose somebody who have computer knowledge to do this. In this way, you would not know the “restriction password” so that you can’t change the setting yourself.

You may also need to “clean” your bedroom from your computer, notebook, television, video player, and “those” magazines or any other materials. If you really need these things, then set all those in the living room, or kitchen, or anywhere “crowded”.

You may ask your mom to remind you not to bring notebook to your bedroom.

Go on with your confession, and ask God to heal your mind from the wounds causes by porn. This things is better to be confronted as early as possible. It’s a good thing that you are young. You surely have many chances to know girls in real life in a good way. See your girl friends as human beings, and remind yourself that porn is a violent way to represent woman sexuality.

In the end it’s not human’s effort but God’s work to die for you on the cross to save you from it, in His due time.

May God in Jesus Name bless you in your efforts, and may He heal you.

 

[francisca]

I am having my own struggles as well. I am, in fact, going to do a face to face confession with my Priest, someone I know and trust. I am 40 and I’ve had that addiction since shortly after puberty. For me… it has been getting more and more dehumanizing in the material I view and the violations of chastity.

Part of my issue has to do with being divorced. I really miss the intimacy from my prior relationships but that longing has turned into an obsession that warps my vision regarding relationships and love. It also is keeping me from seeking new relationships (its not just me waiting for my annulment to go through)

At any rate re: the urge you mention that goes away after… think of that like the alcoholic… after a long bender declaring through the haze of his hangover: “I’m never drinking again” …and then breaking down and drinking again after the pressure and desire build up again… cycling over and over.

Hi Cyclophile and all,

Fighting porn addiction is a matter of “unavailability”. Just like to dazzi, my suggestion is to ask a friend or anyone you can trust to hold the restriction password of your computer, clean up your room and whole house from all possibilities. Take advantage of “crowded places” to fortify you from fantasizing.

Cyclophile,

If you live alone in your house, then you may fill your day with activities that you like, if possible outside your home. Ideal scenario is when you comeback home you feel “tired but happy” and not so lonely so you can go straight to bed. If you have problem with sleeping, you can choose to read relaxing books, such as good humorous comics such as Dilbert, etc. (Do not choose horror stories, or too heavy contents, because these can’t make you relax). Go to confession every time you fall, every time confirm to yourself and God again and again that even though you fall again, you still insist that this is not what you want, and keep asking God in Jesus Name to heal you.

However, after all the above, it is important to ask forgiveness from your wife/ ex-wife, even though you guys has gone on your separate ways. It is important to-- of all that has gone and pass you by-- you just want to say good bye in a good way: at least from your part. That way you make peace with yourself and probably with your ex. If you still have the slightest hope to reconcile, and annulment has not come by, maybe, just maybe it is some kind of God’s plan. Even if there isn’t such thing anymore, you can move on in a good way. Good after-divorce relation with your ex, and your children will help you to go through this life a better man.

God bless you always.

 

[Metalhead_Harry]

ahhh, this story again. I used to be an addict but i stopped as i realized my teen mind was getting messed up. With help and perseverance, you could throw away your addiction like i did and start cleaning out your mind of the horrific things porn teaches.

 

[Neildown]

I’ve been having trouble in this area for a few years. I never would have got into it if I had known it was a sin from the start, but that didn’t happen - so I’m recovering from those shameful acts now and will be trying double-hard to smash it completely this Lenten season.

I had a related question though - is wildlife mating & documentary footage considered impure material? My reason for asking is for the fact that animals do not possess the sanctity that humans do. But it can still be considered sinful if one finds it to be ‘arousing’, correct?

 

[Antrim]

Neildown
That is correct.
Antrim

 

[Antrim]

It is forbidden . No exceptions. Our late Holy Father told us so.

Antrim