Looking for advice on Religious Education

[Vicia]

My husband and I are trying to decide what we should do about our children going to religious education. We recently found out that one of our children may have seen the “safe environment” training video “Talk about Touching”. We were unaware of what this video was until a few months ago. When we were informed that our parrish actually was going to show these videos, we were very alarmed. We asked the religious director to see the videos and she acted like she had no idea what we were talking about. We did some more research and came back to her again, gave her some names of people that had viewed it last year. She then said that she knew what we were talking about, but that there were no plans to show them this year because of the strong reaction from the parents from last year. (around 1000 children viewed it last year). I am disturbed by this whole thing because just the title is not enough to warn you that it is a sexual education video. I know that it is not my church’s duty to teach my children sex ed. I have a strong warning in my heart because if they went this far, what else will they show my children. My husband says that if we take them out, we are abandoning our community. I think our duty is to protect them and to try to change our parrish community without involving them. Please, let me know what you think. Thank you very much.

 

[paramedicgirl]

As a Catechism teacher, I would say, become a Catechism teacher. Then you have some control over this kind of garbage. If your kids are learning this in a Catholic school, though, it would be harder to influence. Be vocal, and back up your concerns. It’s hard doing battle with people who are pushing an agenda.

You can always remove your children from the class where this video is slotted in. I would be concerned, though, that this is just a sample of what the rest of the agenda is. Then I would probably homeschool. Development of our children’s souls is a parent’s responsibility, one that is not taken lightly before God.

 

[Vicia]

Thank you. That is actually our question (the long and short of it). Should we pull our children out of Sunday school?

 

[tjmiller]

I don’t think anybody else can really answer that for you. Pray.
All I can say is that* I * would do so. I have done so - not because my child was being sexually indoctrinated, but only because the “Religious Education” classes were generally worthless. It is your ecclesial right as parents to take over your children’s formation in the Faith. Even when it is a question of preparation for the Sacraments, canon law indicates only that the pastor “see to it that the children are properly prepared”. Nobody can make any of those classes mandatory.

 

[JMJ_Theresa]

Pull them out. All parents should do the the religious ed for their kids. Here’s some suggestions: Faith and Life series, Vision Books, The Great Adventure (5th grade and up), Catechismclass.com, Baltimore Catechism, Friendly Defenders Flash cards. You will never regret teaching your children the faith yourselves. You don’t have to worry about heresy, bad example of other kids, sexual content, etc.

We have occasionally put the kids in religious ed when we knew the teachers. The kids had fun, but didn’t learn anything that they didn’t all ready know.

The Mass and service in the parish is our community–so I don’t buy into that “put them in religious ed so they will be a part of the community” argument. Though, I agree with the sentiment of being involved in our parishes.

 

[Vicia]

We both have been praying about it. We both still have different conclusions. We do teach them at home, we know they are not getting catechized in religious ed. I am just looking to see how others view this very serious problem.

 

[a_pilgrim]

paramedicgirl:

As a Catechism teacher, I would say, become a Catechism teacher. Then you have some control over this kind of garbage…

paramedicgirl,

As well intended as your suggestion may be, I think you’ve hit upon the heart of the problem. Sadly, in countless parishes today, anyone can, indeed, become a Catechism teacher.

The #1 priority with regard to the needs of the RE programs in many parishes today seems to be “warm bodies” to stand at the front of the classroom. Catechist formation is sadly lacking… teachers in many cases are unprepared, under-educated or just plain misinformed… regular reviews and instructor accountability are nonexistent… classes are not monitored for adherence to correct doctrine… parental involvement is nil… and so on. In short, anyone can teach our children anything, and no one would be the wiser. Those who wish to become Catechism teachers for all the right reasons are just as likely to be granted the opportunity to do so as those who shouldn’t be teaching because of lack of proper knowledge of our Faith, lack of skills at presenting this knowledge to our children or, even worse, agendas of their own.

This the problem we face with regard to the Catholic formation of our children today. While it may seem like an easy solution to tell someone with virtuous motives like Vicia to “become a Catechism teacher,” it remains just as easy for someone who brings to the table the “garbage” you mention to do the same.

BTW - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

 

[asquared]

parents are the primary religious educators of their children. The parish programs are there to help you in this task. It is a grievous abuse for the Church, the school or anyone else to abrogate the parental role in sex education. Do not delegate this immense responsibility to anyone else.

having said that: the bishops have mandated, as part of their response in addressing the abuse crisis, that ALL catechists, teachers, employees and others who come in contact with children in every diocese MUST undergo an orientation on child abuse recognition and prevention. There are several approved programs but the most widely use is VIRTUS-Protecting God’s Children/Safe Environment. This applies to Catholic schools and parish programs.

The second phase of this program after the employees and volunteers have the training, is to present the program to all parents. We have invited the parents 3 times to review the materials. A total of 16 parents out of 800 families were interested enough in what we are doing to protect their children to attend last year.

The third phase of this is a program presented to children which contains a narrow message, and IS NOT sex education. The VIRTUS program is called Safety Awareness, although there are others, Safe Touch is one of them. ALL of these programs must have a sign-off by parents before they can be used with the children. We sent home permission slips with every family 3 times last year, only a handful were returned, and not one family opted out of the program. No-one came to any of the 3 opportunities to review the program.

I am sending home these permission slips again next week, because I am obligated to make this presentation to every grade level before the end of the year. There will be information on the program in the bulleting for 3 weeks, and a fuller explanation with the parent slip. The parents will have another opportunity to review it, or to attend with their children. I expect to hear from very few parents. The school had good attendance because their program was mandatory for parents, but I am not allowed to do that.

I will bet my next chocolate shake that those 1000 children last year at your parish took a flyer home, and most parents ignored it, and did not react until after the children had seen the presentation.

Thankfully that is not the program chosen by my diocese, or I would have been forced to quit my job because I would not use it.

Bottom line: please get involved in your child’s religious education, it is faith formation, not babysitting service. Thank you.

 

[Vicia]

asquared:

parents are the primary religious educators of their children. The parish programs are there to help you in this task. It is a grievous abuse for the Church, the school or anyone else to abrogate the parental role in sex education. Do not delegate this immense responsibility to anyone else.

Thankfully that is not the program chosen by my diocese, or I would have been forced to quit my job because I would not use it.

Bottom line: please get involved in your child’s religious education, it is faith formation, not babysitting service. Thank you.

God Bless you!
You are 100% right.

asquared:

having said that: the bishops have mandated, as part of their response in addressing the abuse crisis, that ALL catechists, teachers, employees and others who come in contact with children in every diocese MUST undergo an orientation on child abuse recognition and prevention. There are several approved programs but the most widely use is VIRTUS-Protecting God’s Children/Safe Environment. This applies to Catholic schools and parish programs.

They have mandated the same thing in our diocese, but our’s is not the VITRUS. I do not know why. Our’s is the same one they are using in the Boston Diocese. The one that they showed my 8 year old was apparently the one they were supposed to show to kindergartners. The one that was designed for 7-9 years olds was much worse.

asquared:

The second phase of this program after the employees and volunteers have the training, is to present the program to all parents. We have invited the parents 3 times to review the materials. A total of 16 parents out of 800 families were interested enough in what we are doing to protect their children to attend last year.

In my parrish I think that there were 5 parents that showed up for the viewing. I did not happen to be one of them. I have only been Catholic for two years and am very orthodox (I believe). I believed that my parrish, who taught me to be orthodox, would not show my children anything of this magnatude. The title “safe-environment” does not send up any red flags, either.

asquared:

ALL of these programs must have a sign-off by parents before they can be used with the children. We sent home permission slips with every family 3 times last year, only a handful were returned, and not one family opted out of the program. No-one came to any of the 3 opportunities to review the program.

In my parrish, they do not have permission slips. We have recommended this and feel that it has fallen on deaf ears. They said that they sent home a notice twice and mailed one to us. My step-son only attended class 7 times last year because of ilness and his mom has him every other week. She is anti-Catholic and will not take him to Sunday school on her Wednesday night. It would have been very easy for us not to have received them through Sunday school. We do not remember getting anyhing in the mail. And, again, we did not know what this program was. Or that it would have any chance of being sex ed. How? With the name “safe environment”?

Because this was able to happen to us, who are very careful when it comes to our children, I believe that these vides should be banned from our parrishes. I am afraid of what will happen next.

Thank you for your reply, it was very enlightening.

 

[KCT]

Vicia:

We both have been praying about it. We both still have different conclusions. We do teach them at home, we know they are not getting catechized in religious ed. I am just looking to see how others view this very serious problem.

If you can help in your parish and make things better, then do so. I know a few people who have volunteered, made friends w/ the DRE, and done much good.

However, if you believe the situation will not change, then sure, teach them at home. There are tons of things your family can do together in your parish. Enrolling kids in religious ed isn’t the only way to support a parish. (Religious ed isn’t that old; my mom’s generation didn’t have it. Kids who were not in Catholic schools learned from their parents)

Ours kids have always done rel. ed at home. Our YM loves them and keeps them busy in the youth leadership program and Confirmation prep. (of course, we have a wonderful YM, so that helps —KCT

 

[Vicia]

(Religious ed isn’t that old; my mom’s generation didn’t have it. Kids who were not in Catholic schools learned from their parents)

Ours kids have always done rel. ed at home. Our YM loves them and keeps them busy in the youth leadership program and Confirmation prep. (of course, we have a wonderful YM, so that helps —KCT

This was the point that I was trying to make with my husband. It isn’t that old.

We do not have a YM that I know of. Thank you for your advice.

 

[asquared]

Vicia:

In
In my parrish, they do not have permission slips. We have recommended this and feel that it has fallen on deaf ears. They said that they sent home a notice twice and mailed one to us. My step-son only attended class 7 times last year because of ilness and his mom has him every other week. .

I am not understanding, because this statement seems contradictory, the parish says they sent 3 notices home, but you say they do not have permssion slips. It is hardly the parish’s fault if the parents did not receive or get the notice, which probably included the option to sign-out of the program, if they made 3 attempts. It is not their fault if the child was absent a lot either.

the parent letter described the program fully, stating exactly what is covered and what is not, and does not hide behind euphemisms like safe environment and safety awareness. In talking to the catechists, who are also parents, they all said yes we got it, but we didn’ t read it. How is that my fault?

Not one parent among 88 families showed up last night for the preview session for Jr Hi parents, notices went home twice and were in the bulletin 3 weeks in a row. No one signed out of the program, which begins next week. If I get 2 parents attending with their child I will be amazed.

 

[paramedicgirl]

a pilgrim:

paramedicgirl,

As well intended as your suggestion may be, I think you’ve hit upon the heart of the problem. Sadly, in countless parishes today, anyone can, indeed, become a Catechism teacher.

The #1 priority with regard to the needs of the RE programs in many parishes today seems to be “warm bodies” to stand at the front of the classroom. Catechist formation is sadly lacking… teachers in many cases are unprepared, under-educated or just plain misinformed… regular reviews and instructor accountability are nonexistent… classes are not monitored for adherence to correct doctrine… parental involvement is nil… and so on. In short, anyone can teach our children anything, and no one would be the wiser. Those who wish to become Catechism teachers for all the right reasons are just as likely to be granted the opportunity to do so as those who shouldn’t be teaching because of lack of proper knowledge of our Faith, lack of skills at presenting this knowledge to our children or, even worse, agendas of their own.

This the problem we face with regard to the Catholic formation of our children today. While it may seem like an easy solution to tell someone with virtuous motives like Vicia to “become a Catechism teacher,” it remains just as easy for someone who brings to the table the “garbage” you mention to do the same.

BTW - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

You are so right about that! Unfortunately!

I became a Catechism teacher because I wanted my daughter to learn the true Catholic faith, not some watered-down version of it. I know that the children in my class are being taught the faith as it was meant to be learned, but I am also aware that parents volunteer to teach who are totally unprepared or who have an agenda. It’s too bad there is no follow up or evaluation of CCD teachers.

That’s why it’s so important for parents who really know their faith to become Catechism teachers. St John Vianney once told a woman who asked him what she could do for the Church, to become a Catechism teacher.

 

[asquared]

paramedicgirl:

You That’s why it’s so important for parents who really know their faith to become Catechism teachers. St John Vianney once told a woman who asked him what she could do for the Church, to become a Catechism teacher.

God will surely bless you for answering this call. Parents and the natural first educators of the faith for their children, but many of them are ill-prepared to undertake this task. My job as a DRE is not only to recruit catechists but to oversee their ongoing faith formation and evaluate their teaching. But also my job is to catechize parents and equip them for their task. Too bad many of them view this as a burden when it is intended as a gift.

Every knowledgeable, devout parent who pulls their child out of RE/CCD is one less catechist available for the children who have no parent willing or able to teach them.

 

[Corki]

asquared:

I am not understanding, because this statement seems contradictory, the parish says they sent 3 notices home, but you say they do not have permission slips. It is hardly the parish’s fault if the parents did not receive or get the notice, which probably included the option to sign-out of the program, if they made 3 attempts.

Is it possible that there were notices about the program but not information regarding any option to sign-out of the program?

Asquared, you and I have had this discussion several times now and I think that you are probably in a diocese that takes RE and parent involvement seriously. You are fortunate and I think that your parish is fortunate to have you as the DRE because you obviously take this very seriously too. Not all of us are that fortunate. Our DRE is a lovely, hard working woman but she never questions anything that comes from the diocese.

In our diocese, we have been told that there will not be an option to opt a child out of the program. The diocesan representative stated that it isn’t required and they have no plans to offer that option. There will also not be a “preview” for the parents. When we asked about reviewing the material, we were told that we were welcome to attend the sessions WITH our children but would not be able to see the material in advance. They will not even tell us which program will be offered or when it will begin.

Fortunately, I am a RE teacher so I will get some advance warning and, at least, be able to see the material for the grade I teach. If it is the Boston program, which I have reviewed, I will not be able to continue as a Catechist.

Vicia,

I have taught my children their “Religious Ed” when we were overseas. We used Faith and Life as the main text and used Image of God to supplement. I know many families who have pulled their kids out of CCE over various issues (oddly, the parents have mostly remained as RE teachers ). Your husband raises a valid concern about community since we all probably know at least one family that has a “bunker” mentality about the Church. As long as you are aware of that, you can ensure that your family and your children are involved in the church community in many other ways.

We have a lot of families whose ONLY connection to the church community is to send their kids to CCE. As a teacher and a parent, I would rather they were fully engaged in the rest of what the parish does. If that happened, the education of the children would come naturally (from the parents).

 

[Vicia]

asquared:

I am not understanding, because this statement seems contradictory, the parish says they sent 3 notices home, but you say they do not have permssion slips. It is hardly the parish’s fault if the parents did not receive or get the notice, which probably included the option to sign-out of the program, if they made 3 attempts. It is not their fault if the child was absent a lot either.

First, I have to make sure that you understand that I am not attacking my DRE. I know that she has the best intentions at heart. Unfortunatley, our pastor and archbishop are not fully in union with church teaching and are in charge of our church. She has to follow their lead. My concern is that I did read the letter and it said nothing about what the class was about. She said that they put in the bulliten for three weeks that they would be showing the video, but I do not always read the bulliten. Sending home a letter(which we always carefully read) is not enough. There was not a description of the program, or else we would have checked it out. Not much gets by us. We are very involved with our children.

My point about the permission slips is that they should have a signed note from me saying that my child could participate. Sending home a letter of notification is not the same thing. They shouldn’t rely on people reading everything. When you have to sign something, it gives you a heads up to pay attention. That is all I was saying.

 

[Vicia]

Corki:

Vicia,

I have taught my children their “Religious Ed” when we were overseas. We used Faith and Life as the main text and used Image of God to supplement. I know many families who have pulled their kids out of CCE over various issues (oddly, the parents have mostly remained as RE teachers ). Your husband raises a valid concern about community since we all probably know at least one family that has a “bunker” mentality about the Church. As long as you are aware of that, you can ensure that your family and your children are involved in the church community in many other ways.

The Faith and Life series has been recommended to me several times. We teach out of the Baltimore Catechism. I understand why parents who have pulled their children out and stayed as teachers, I have thought to do the same thing. Thank you very much for you post, it was very enlightening.

 

[asquared]

Vicia:

First, IMy point about the permission slips is that they should have a signed note from me saying that my child could participate. Sending home a letter of notification is not the same thing. They shouldn’t rely on people reading everything. When you have to sign something, it gives you a heads up to pay attention. That is all I was saying.

all I can do is point out that the US bishops’ mandate on us to provide this training also includes a detailed letter to be sent to the parents which includes a chance for parents to preview the program before it is presented to children, and a chance sign-off so the parents can formally opt out of the program in writing. The manner of sending the notices is left to discretion of the parish. If you were not given this opportunity the pastor erred. The DRE was following his instructions. We also operate under the discipline of obedience to our bishops and pastors. I hope this discussion has served what I believe to be your original purpose in posting, to alert parents to what is going on in parishes and urge them to be vigilant.

I will post on this thread as soon as I get it links to Concerned Parents and other organizations who have researched these programs, which have been used in public schools for years, and their results and effects.

 

[asquared]

Corki:

Is it
In our diocese, we have been told that there will not be an option to opt a child out of the program. The diocesan representative stated that it isn’t required and they have no plans to offer that option. There will also not be a “preview” for the parents. When we asked about reviewing the material, we were told that we were welcome to attend the sessions WITH our children but would not be able to see the material in advance. They will not even tell us which program will be offered or when it will begin.
).

in a diocese such as this I recommend, as I have stated before contacting the chancelor, vicar general or other person in charge of compliance with child protection mandates, and ask why this policy of parental preview, notification and opting out is not being observed.

 

[Donna_P]

My advice: TAKE CONTROL! You are the parents - your children should have their first taste of what it means to be Catholic from you - by word, deed and instruction.

There are many good teaching aids for you. You can go to Catholic Exchange.com or catholicfamily.org but make sure you have:

1. Family Bible
2. Catechism of the Catholic Church
3. Read them AND other great booklets about our faith that you can get right here at Catholic .com
   Then - continue what you are doing by asking about the programs at your parish and challenging anything you don’t want you children to be part of.