Looking for guidance to get through

[MAW51121]

I am a mother of an amazing 10 yr old boy who was wrongfully accused of hurting another child at school. The other family pressed charges and they demanded the school take action. The witnesses all took my son’s side and so the school dropped all the allegations. After almost a year going through the criminal justice system, the courts dropped all charges. Now the other family is sueing us civilly along with the school! This ordeal has taken such a toll on my family. We have suffered financially, socially, emotionally, and physically. My son has struggled each day in understanding why people would lie and be so cruel for no reason. I am told this civil process will take years and I’m not sure if I have years more in me to get through this. I find I have so much anger, frustration, and hatred for these people that I don’t feel I can ever let go of it and try to move forward knowing that they got away with such evil. I do not regularly go to church but I have always believed. My son attends religious ed always. I need guidance, advice, anything in helping me to stop allowing this to consume my life, to help me let go of the anger and despise I have, and find a way to make peace with it all. This year has put me on the edge of a bad place and I need to find a way to stay strong for my son. I am desperately looking for something…

 

[awsiukiewicz]

My heart goes out to you…look for another school, obviously,and maybe relocate to another town/community if at all possible…this would not be an attempt at a geographical cure for the ongoing legal stuff;.but…you wouldn’t be in the same atmosphere…Pax

 

[mountee]

Please allow me to tell you that I truly care and wish I could come over right now and sit and talk. Your situation frightens me and I am so sorry. Hopefully the hurdles you have already put behind you will hope you go forward. You have the criminal court decision on your side as well as your witnesses. But, mostly you have the truth on your side and though it may take a while I do believe it wins in the end. God bless you with patience and courage. My prayer for you:

Memorare

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.

 

[Delaine75]

My heart goes out to you and your family. God will bring you through this. I will pray for you!

 

[WaitingForJesus]

I am so sorry you have to go through this. When my world was falling apart just going to mass or sitting in Eucharistic adoration helped me. Maybe doing that and/or going to confession and discussing your anger and need to forgive with the priest would help. Sometimes depression manifests as anger, so perhaps psychological help and/or counseling is in order. A counselor would be able to give you real world strategies and someone to talk to on a regular basis.

I am praying for Mother Mary and our Lord to give you peace and settle things down so that you are able to forgive and move forward. Please know the Lord loves you and wants you to turn to Him in situations like this. Try to make a point of asking Him every day to help you get through.

 

[Polycarp1]

What a wonderful opportunity for you to forgive and pray for your enemies! Remember our Lord’s command “But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,” and "'But I say this to you who are listening: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, "

Not easy but if you reject all your worldly feelings and bend your will to His there will be an out pouring of Grace on you and your family.

In short your obligation is to love them regardless of how they feel about you or treat you. Remember that love is a decision and not the warm and fuzzies. The warm and fuzzies can be an symptom of love but they are not in themselves love. You decide to love them as much as you can at this moment because that is what you know the Lord wants you to do. He can take this offering and perfect it over time. You make the conscious decision to love them and then you pray for them. Again praying for them may not feel good or even sincere at first but that doesn’t matter! I call it praying through clenched teeth. What does matter is that you are bending you will to the Lord’s because that is what He wants you to do!

Praying for both your families.

 

[Lady_Love]

I suggest setting aside some time to be alone, really alone, and express your feelings to God, scream, cry, tell God how mad and hurt you are and everyone you are mad at. Tap into those negative emotions, express them and then give them to God. Once you have exhausted yourself with your tears, ask God to bless you, to take away all that you are burdened with, and help you to move forward without all the bitterness, anger, and grief. Then the last step is to turn on your favorite dancing song and boogie. Dance your cares away.

If you feel more comfortable, you could invite a close girlfriend or sister to come over and help you through your emotions. She can also dance with you.

I have used this method many times in my life and it is pretty effective.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

I need guidance, advice, anything in helping me to stop allowing this to consume my life, to help me let go of the anger and despise I have, and find a way to make peace with it all. This year has put me on the edge of a bad place and I need to find a way to stay strong for my son. I am desperately looking for something…

Your situation is symbolic to me, and can be united with Mary’s situation. I have six children, three of them sons. I know what it is to be helpless to powers that can literally kill any of us, when they are abusing and mistreating my son. But my situation was small compared to what you’re describing. Your son is a Christ right in the middle of being crucified, and you are a Mary watching it happen.

I am rooting for you, because you are professing your desire to be at peace, which is to accept the healing power of the Holy Spirit, to bring you that peace as Jesus gives. The world cannot give us true peace; it can only give us comfort, which are temporary as long as the comfortable conditions persist. The peace Jesus gives us in the Beatitudes, and in “do not worry about tomorrow” and all the rest (and beside some other posters had some great ideas too) He teaches, carry with you while the world gives you any type of condition, good or bad. When you break this barrier and find peace even during the storm, you will have all the controls you need and the power of the Holy Spirit to give you the words that you need. I believe you and your son will come out of this, proven stronger than the whole bunch trying to take him on.

Honestly, though, I would find it very difficult not to wish revenge. If you don’t wish revenge, then you’re handling it better than I might have.

Alan