Looking is immoral!

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AA, would you mind clarifying what you mean by ‘at the expense of’?
Exalting religious celibacy as the highest good makes procreative marital sex look not that good at best and like a necessary evil at worst in comparison.

And as a group headed by celibate priests that’s a comparison that the Church can’t help making (on a continuous basis).
 
Exalting religious celibacy as the highest good makes procreative marital sex look not that good at best and like a necessary evil at worst.
Well, since it is clear from the actual teachings of the Church that the Church views marriage as a very good and holy thing it sounds like you are again misunderstanding the teachings if you are trying to claim that the Church thinks that marriage is not good and holy. I can look up more passages for you from the CCC if you wish, but the fact that it is a whole sacrament in and of itself is already a pretty big indicator that the Church views it as a very good thing.

I have a question for you, if I were to say that spending your life helping the poor gain food, clothing and shelter is better than not doing so would you assume that I think it is bad to do anything else with ones life?
 
I dont think AA wants to do his homework. If he did he wouldnt have any misconceptions and misinformations to base his arguements on. And then he wouldnt be angry.
To be honest I have learned a great deal about Catholicism over the years.
And I frankly liked its policies better when I knew less about them:shrug:
 
Exalting religious celibacy as the highest good makes procreative marital sex look not that good at best and like a necessary evil at worst in comparison.
.
Is virginity or celibacy for the Sake of the Kingdom to be esteemed highly? Yes

But such does not mean that marriage is “not that good” or a “necessary evil at worst in comparison”. Marriage is Holy and Good…indeed a Sacrament.

Catechism

1620 Both the sacrament of Matrimony and virginity for the Kingdom of God come from the Lord himself. It is he who gives them meaning and grants them the grace which is indispensable for living them out in conformity with his will.117 Esteem of virginity for the sake of the kingdom118 and the Christian understanding of marriage are inseparable, and they reinforce each other:

Whoever denigrates marriage also diminishes the glory of virginity. Whoever praises it makes virginity more admirable and resplendent. What appears good only in comparison with evil would not be truly good. The most excellent good is something even better than what is admitted to be good.119

119 St. John Chrysostom, De virg. 10,1:PG 48,540
 
That’s the question.
AA, if there’s going to be any kind of meaningful discussion you should do some homework on Church teaching first. That’s YOUR responsibility, no one else’s. This issue is addressed at length in this document:
ewtn.com/library/papaldoc/jp2tbind.htm
I have already read many of those documents.
Many of them cover at length the supposed superiority of religious celibacy in comparison to marriage.

Like this one below:

ewtn.com/library/papaldoc/jp2tb75.htm
 
You guys want to accuse AA of intellectual dishonesty, but it is your own words that confuse the issue if it is confused. Calling sex a selfless act shows one of three things; first that you haven’t reached the age of puberty and you have no idea what it means to be attracted to a woman, second you are actually asexual and don’t feel attraction to women, or you are a hopeless idealist who hopes that someday you will be so ‘pure’ that you won’t feel sexual desire for your wife. At that point you will only have sex to satisfy her desires, if God forbid she is still cursed with sexual desire.
I wouldn’t have put it quite so bluntly but I basically agree with the above sentiments.
Selfless desire is a contradiction in terms.
 
Exalting religious celibacy as the highest good makes procreative marital sex look not that good at best and like a necessary evil at worst in comparison.

And as a group headed by celibate priests that’s a comparison that the Church can’t help making (on a continuous basis).
Well I think that St. Paul does say in so many words that celibacy is a higher calling than marriage. I’m fine with that because I do think it takes a certain kind of discipline and holiness to live that lifestyle.

Although some posters ideas of what lust is is just wrong. You basically have to be looking at your wife and thinking of making a baby or your lusting. Who does that? I bet nobody here does. And since nobody does that, it does make sex look like a neccessary evil.

To lust you have to see the person as an object and not as a person. And since this person is your wife you are basically acting like a narcissist.That’s pretty extreme behaviour and probably fueled by porn. There is nothing wrong with looking at your wife, think that shes looking really hot and want to have sex with her.
 
I think this scripture reference quotes it pretty well. There’s such thing as “looking” and admiring beauty (as in appreciating it)…than there’s such things “lusting” which crosses the border of what’s acceptable.

As a rule of thumb, I would have to say that - If you are not able to look without lusting, than it is in fact a pitfall for sin for you, so don’t do it.
Admiring beauty is quite different from experiencing desire and sexual arousal.
 
I wouldn’t have put it quite so bluntly but I basically agree with the above sentiments.
Selfless desire is a contradiction in terms.
Yes, which is why it is a bad expression for explaining what people are trying to get at and which is why it is better to explain it as looking on your spouse as a person to be loved rather than an object to be used. This is essentially what people are trying to get at when they talk about having a “selfless desire”. And I think it is pretty darn obvious that this is important, just look at my example of a man who rapes another, he treats her as an object to be used for his pleasure rather than as a person deserving of respect and dignity.
 
Well I think that St. Paul does say in so many words that celibacy is a higher calling than marriage. I’m fine with that because I do think it takes a certain kind of discipline and holiness to live that lifestyle.

Although some posters ideas of what lust is is just wrong. You basically have to be looking at your wife and thinking of making a baby or your lusting. Who does that? I bet nobody here does. And since nobody does that, it does make sex look like a neccessary evil.

To lust you have to see the person as an object and not as a person. And since this person is your wife you are basically acting like a narcissist.That’s pretty extreme behaviour and probably fueled by porn. There is nothing wrong with looking at your wife, think that shes looking really hot and want to have sex with her.
That’s my point.
I am less interested in the doctrinal details then the fact that trying to live that way would essentially turn you asexual if you succeeded.
 
That’s my point.
I am less interested in the doctrinal details then the fact that trying to live that way would essentially turn you asexual if you succeeded.
In other words your problem is with the views of individual Catholics as opposed to the actual teachings of the Catholic Church. This is a very important distinction to make. I agree with you that there are plenty of individuals with a puritan mindset with respect to sex, but the Church herself is not so.

ETA: Although I should also add that sometimes the language a person uses will make it seem as though their views are more puritan than they actually are. What really matters is what the person meant to convey, not the particular words they happened to use to express it.
 
In other words your problem is with the views of individual Catholics as opposed to the actual teachings of the Catholic Church. This is a very important distinction to make. I agree with you that there are plenty of individuals with a puritan mindset with respect to sex, but the Church herself is not so.

ETA: Although I should also add that sometimes the language a person uses will make it seem as though their views are more puritan than they actually are. What really matters is what the person meant to convey, not the particular words they happened to use to express it.
That is an important distinction and you will certainly find lots of extreme views that claim to be Catholic especially on the internet.
 
I don’t even see a connection here, let alone how the conclusion follows from the premise.
The connection is that by making it a selfless act you deny all legitimacy of desire or the satisfaction of that desire. Selfless implies that you recieve nothing from it, it is all for the recipient of the act.
 
That’s my point.
I am less interested in the doctrinal details then the fact that trying to live that way would essentially turn you asexual if you succeeded.
Ok, on re-reading this I realized that it could be taken to mean something different than I first thought. If the you are trying to claim that Church teaching seems fine in itself when left an idea but in practice turns into puritanism I must respectuflly disagree. There are plenty of Catholics who follow all the Church’s teachings who are anything but puritan in their understanding of sexuality. It is not trying to live according to what the Church actually teaches which is puritan, but trying to live according to the puritanical mindset of, which does belong to some Christians, which leads to a puritanical lifestyle with respect to sexuality. Being a faithful Catholic does not make one a puritan.
 
The connection is that by making it a selfless act you deny all legitimacy of desire or the satisfaction of that desire. Selfless implies that you recieve nothing from it, it is all for the recipient of the act.
No. As a Catholoic you may have heard these:
It is giving that we receive. It is in dying that we are born to eternal life
One of the main points of the Gospel, death to self brings joy, peace, fulfillment.
The Sermon on the Mount for instance…
 
Ok, on re-reading this I realized that it could be taken to mean something different than I first thought. If the you are trying to claim that Church teaching seems fine in itself when left an idea but in practice turns into puritanism .
Yes, that is my basic premise.
 
Yes, that is my basic premise.
And it is quite false. I don’t understand why you can’t accept the voices of multiple Caholics who have no qualms about sex being bad, or pleasure from sex being immoral as proof of this. We exist, and plenty of us. Following and accepting actual Church teaching does not lead one to think of sexual pleasure as bad, in fact, it actually leads to the opposite conclusion in both thought and practice. I’m sorry if you think that I and all other Catholics who tell you the same thing are lying, but I have no hangups about sexual pleasure despite accepting everything the Church has to say about it and I am not the only Catholic I know like this. Its kind of hard to get anywhere in a conversation when one person decides that they will ignore any evidence that conflicts with their previous conclusion, so I really don’t know if this conversation will be able to go anywhere, but my experience as well as the experience of others that I know personally, and others on this website directly contradicts your above assumption. That claim is just plain false. 🤷
 
Key word bolded.
No problem, You’re entitled to an opinion, just please don’t claim that the Church teaches something it does not and we’re all happy.
He is making an argument not stating an opinion.

Regarding your other post that was directed toward me. I understand how death to self can bring joy and happiness in almost every situation except in sexual desire. Sexual desire is inherently selfish as AA said earlier. You are directly seeking the satisfaction of your desire.

As somewhat of a sidenote, you cant consider sexuality apart from the rest of life. There is more to life than sex. Not that I am sayingthat is how you are approaching it. I am just clarifying.
 
Well I think that St. Paul does say in so many words that celibacy is a higher calling than marriage. I’m fine with that because I do think it takes a certain kind of discipline and holiness to live that lifestyle.

Although some posters ideas of what lust is is just wrong. You basically have to be looking at your wife and thinking of making a baby or your lusting. Who does that? I bet nobody here does. And since nobody does that, it does make sex look like a neccessary evil.

To lust you have to see the person as an object and not as a person. And since this person is your wife you are basically acting like a narcissist.That’s pretty extreme behaviour and probably fueled by porn. There is nothing wrong with looking at your wife, think that shes looking really hot and want to have sex with her.
I agree with this. It is perfectly natural to look at one’s spouse and to desire them.
 
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