Here is the part about pride from St. John of the Cross. I think you’ll see how this pride really works itself through the entire psyche and can control even very subtle things.
Reference:
The Dark Night of the Soul
1.3. The soul finds its joy, therefore, in spending lengthy periods at
prayer, perhaps even entire nights; its penances are pleasures; its fasts,
happiness; and the sacraments and spiritual conversations are its
consolations. Although spiritual persons do practice these exercises with
great profit and persistence, and are very careful about them, spiritually
speaking, they conduct themselves in a very weak and imperfect manner.
Since their motivation in their spiritual works and exercises is the
consolation and satisfaction they experience in them, and since they have
not been conditioned by the arduous struggle of practicing virtue, they
possess many faults and imperfections in the discharge of their spiritual
activities. Assuredly, since everyone’s actions are in direct conformity
with the habit of perfection that has been acquired, and since these
persons have not had time to acquire those firm habits, their work must of
necessity be feeble, like that of weak children.
1.3.(2). For a clearer understanding of this and of how truly imperfect
beginners are, insofar as they practice virtue readily because of the
satisfaction attached to it, we will describe, using the seven capital
vices as our basis, some of the numerous imperfections beginners commit.
Thus we will clearly see how very similar their deeds are to those of
children. The benefits of the dark night will become evident, since it
cleanses and purifies the soul of all these imperfections.
CHAPTER 2
- Some of the imperfections of pride possessed by beginners.
2.1. These beginners feel so fervent and diligent in their spiritual
exercises and undertakings that a certain kind of secret pride is generated
in them that begets a complacency with themselves and their
accomplishments, even though holy works do of their very nature cause
humility. Then they develop a somewhat vain – at times very vain – desire
to speak of spiritual things in others’ presence, and sometimes even to
instruct rather than be instructed; in their hearts they condemn others who
do not seem to have the kind of devotion they would like them to have, and
sometimes they give expression to this criticism like the pharisee who
despised the publican while he boasted and praised God for the good deeds
he himself accomplished [Lk. 18:11-12].1
2.2. The devil, desiring the growth of pride and presumption in these
beginners, often increases their fervor and readiness to perform such
works, and other ones, too. For he is quite aware that all these works and
virtues are not only worthless for them, but even become vices. Some of
these persons become so evil-minded that they do not want anyone except
themselves to appear holy; and so by both word and deed they condemn and
detract others whenever the occasion arises, seeing the little splinter in
their brother’s eye and failing to consider the wooden beam in their own
eye [Mt. 7:3]; they strain at the other’s gnat and swallow their own camel
[Mt. 23:24].
2.3. And when at times their spiritual directors, their confessors, or
their superiors disapprove their spirit and method of procedure, they feel
that these directors do not understand, or perhaps that this failure to
approve derives from a lack of holiness, since they want these directors to
regard their conduct with esteem and praise. So they quickly search for
some other spiritual advisor more to their liking, someone who will
congratulate them and be impressed by their deeds; and they flee, as they
would death, those who attempt to place them on the safe road by forbidding
these things – and sometimes they even become hostile toward such
spiritual directors. Frequently, in their presumption, they make many
resolutions but accomplish very little. Sometimes they want others to
recognize their spirit and devotion, and as a result occasionally contrive
to make some manifestations of it, such as movements, sighs, and other
ceremonies; sometimes, with the assistance of the devil, they experience
raptures, more often in public than in private, and they are quite pleased,
and often eager, for others to take notice of these.
2.4. Many want to be the favorites of their confessors, and thus they are
consumed by a thousand envies and disquietudes. Embarrassment forbids them
from relating their sins clearly, lest their reputation diminish in their
confessor’s eyes. They confess their sins in the most favorable light so as
to appear better than they actually are, and thus they approach the
confessional to excuse themselves rather than accuse themselves. Sometimes
they confess the evil things they do to a different confessor so that their
own confessor might think they commit no sins at all. Therefore, in their
desire to appear holy, they enjoy relating their good behavior to their
confessor, and in such careful terms that these good deeds appear greater
than they actually are. It would be more humble of them, as we will point
out later,2 to make light of the good they do and to wish that no one,
neither their confessor nor anybody else, should consider it of any
importance at all.
2.5. Sometimes they minimize their faults, and at other times they become
discouraged by them, since they felt they were already saints, and they
become impatient and angry with themselves, which is yet another fault.
^^^ really the first two chapters are all good. I clipped them to what fit in one post.
