Losing a friend by telling him he shouldnt be giving his 12 year old son driving lessons

[phil_at_dayboro]

I agree. Sometimes strong language is needed.

I don’t actually remember myself, but my father would tell people that at age 4 he had me on the tractor seat,while he loaded hay bales on the Sled ,there were no corners to take,just sit there and keep your hands on the wheel…Would that have been irresponsible ?
In today’s thinking, I think it sure would be,but many things depend on the situation at hand, the temperament of the child, the observance of the adult,the environment of the driving conditions ,

 

[jmcrae]

I don’t actually remember myself, but my father would tell people that at age 4 he had me on the tractor seat,while he loaded hay bales on the Sled ,there were no corners to take,just sit there and keep your hands on the wheel…Would that have been irresponsible ?

He was taking a heck of a chance, I think - you could have fallen off and been crushed underneath, if you had hit a bump unexpectedly.

I remember bouncing around in the back of a vehicle that not only had no seat belts; it had no seats. I still have dents in my shins from the bolts that held the floor together. That would be totally illegal, today.

Rather than wonder whether your father was right to do that when you were four, ask yourself, is this something a normal parent would allow their four year old to do, today?

 

[Pax2u]

When I was 8-9 my dad showed me how and then let me drive the old John Deere tractor in the field while he was pitching hay into the wagon. But…we were in an open, empty field, on our own private property, and he was standing right there to jump up and grab the wheel if needed. A lot different than letting a child drive in traffic on the street.

 

[phil_at_dayboro]

He was taking a heck of a chance, I think - you could have fallen off and been crushed underneath, if you had hit a bump unexpectedly.

I remember bouncing around in the back of a vehicle that not only had no seat belts; it had no seats. I still have dents in my shins from the bolts that held the floor together. That would be totally illegal, today.

Rather than wonder whether your father was right to do that when you were four, ask yourself, is this something a normal parent would allow their four year old to do, today?

I agree with what you say,that’s why I said lots depend on the temperament of the child and situation,and people were far more blarzay with workplace health & safety
Before the 70’s

 

[jmcrae]

I agree with what you say,that’s why I said lots depend on the temperament of the child and situation,and people were far more blarzay with workplace health & safety
Before the 70’s

Yes - and there were a lot more funerals for children back then, as well.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Yes - and there were a lot more funerals for children back then, as well.

There were? Well a lot more children were allowed to be born so I guess you are right…

Now, it is just children who were at school, or left in a car because the parent forgot to put them in daycare. Or hit by someone putting on their makeup while driving, and usually that person is not 12.

 

[SouthCatholic]

Cities still have back roads and empty areas. I highly doubt this is on major roads. Police would notice and step in. It’s not your place to tell dad how to parent unless you are the mom. Most parents I know have their kids driving by14 at least in their own driveway but none have their kids on city streets or highways until 16 with the proper permit. If he is the rare parent that is taking him out on major roads then rest assured the police will notice and take care of the problem.

I’ve lived in major US cities and still there were areas that are wide open and empty. I’ve lived in rural areas where the roads are busy and congested. The type of roads/lots/fields are the determining factor not the population of the area.

I don’t know about that. My dad taught me how to drive by allowing me to drive myself to school every morning–with him in the car of course–starting at age 12! We live in a major metropolitan area and the age to get a permit here is 15.

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

Simply advised my friend that giving his 12 year old driving lessons is pointless. First of all if a cop pulled them over with a 12 year old behind the wheel, they would be issued a citation. Secondly, I told him that the son was too short to drive and that he should wait til 15 to start official drivers training. My friend told me to not meddle in his business and won’t talk to me now. He thinks he’s father of the year

I started driving when I was 12. Nothing bad ever happened, and it was always supervised. I never took driver’s education and went straight for the license as a result, and I got it with flying colors. The lady said I was one of the best drivers she’d ever seen.

However, I lived in a very small rural Kansas town where everyone starts driving young. We just drove in the country on dirt roads and learned the ways of driving. Doing this in a small farm town is okay, and I would even recommend it. However, if you live in a large town or even a medium-sized town, this is a huge no-no. There is literally no traffic where I learned to drive. In a medium or big town, there are lots of people around, and they could die because of an inexperienced driver.

 

[Book_Worm]

I agree. Sometimes strong language is needed.

Needed for what?

Do you think that swearing at someone is an effective method to change their minds and behavior?

The only thing I’ve ever seen it accomplish is enrage the person being called profane names and strengthen them in their resolve to show the swearer that they won’t be bullied.

“I’ll show you who’s a @&$?$&@%^#. I’ll take my kid driving right past your house AND blast the horn at you.”

Neither Christlike nor effective.

 

[jmcrae]

Needed for what?

To keep a friend from making a deadly mistake.

Do you think that swearing at someone is an effective method to change their minds and behavior?

No. I’m not talking necessarily about swearing, but about using effective, vivid language to convey the danger that they are putting their child into, along with other people.

The only thing I’ve ever seen it accomplish is enrage the person being called profane names and strengthen them in their resolve to show the swearer that they won’t be bullied.

I used strong language (not swear words, but plain-speaking) with a friend of mine who, as a “birthday gift” was going to put her sixteen year old daughter on birth control pills.

She thanked me, and she chose not to endanger her daughter’s immortal soul, her good reputation, or her chastity, in that way. Perhaps that’s an unusual case, but my father stopped using alcohol when someone spoke to him in vivid language about the harm it was doing to us - so it certainly has a place.