Losing a friend by telling him he shouldnt be giving his 12 year old son driving lessons

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In todays US culture its probably not a good idea. You warned him. What happens after that is his own doing.

Its hard for me to get to upset. I fondly remember standing on the front seat steering a car down the high way while another adult relative did the gas/brake and “helped me steer”. LOL.

I also remember riding around the roads of GA with my 13 year old friend in his daddy’s truck ( I was even younger ). Just the two of us, no adult in the vehicle.

But that was then and this is now. I don’t recommend it now. But I sure miss those days.
 
laircy said:
Where are all the people saying it’s a sin to break the law… because I remember posting a thread about going through stop signs in completely clear areas and had people saying it would be a sin to break the law unless the law is literally asking you to do something immoral. Not that this is entirely related, but still I wonder. 🤷
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Not only is it a sin to break the law, but it is dangerous to let a 12yo to drive a car on a street where there are others driving, pedestrians walking etc. This would be further sinful IMO, because it is reckless. Some 12yos are plenty tall enough to drive a car, but they don’t have the life experience and level of maturity to make the kind of split second decisions that even a 16yo has (and we all know that many 16yo’s aren’t really mature enough to drive responsibly). You probably don’t need to make split second decisions in an empty field or a parking lot (and it’s probably not illegal). But you might have that dilemma on the street, and the stakes are very, very high. How could a parent live with themselves if their leniency towards these rules caused their 12yo to kill an innocent bystander. And putting myself in the position of the family of the potentially harmed or killed bystander, I can only imagine the fury I would have towards a parent who thought it was no big deal to let their child drive a deadly weapon in public.
 
laircy said:
Where are all the people saying it’s a sin to break the law… because I remember posting a thread about going through stop signs in completely clear areas and had people saying it would be a sin to break the law unless the law is literally asking you to do something immoral. Not that this is entirely related, but still I wonder. 🤷
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You know, I did confess traffic violations to my priest on a few occasions and the priest told me that I was being very scrupulous. He told me that people take the law breaking means mortal sin, or even venial sin, thing way too far. He told me that bad and stupid choices are often just that–a lack of judgment. It does not always constitute sin. For instance, riding without a seat belt or motorcycle helmet would be breaking the law in some places but not in others. Does that mean it is sometimes sinful but not other times?

As for this instance, I still don’t have enough info to know if dad did the right thing or wrong thing, but I still think it is absolutely none of our business what he teaches his son. But think about this–kids that get their license at 16-18 with no prior driving experience are more likely to die and/or kill someone else on the road before the age of 25, especially male drivers. If this dad was sending his newly licensed 17 yr old out alone for milk no one would see anything wrong with it, but that kid would actually be a bigger danger to himself and all the others on the road with him than the 12 year old with his dad to guide him is.
 
ThyKingdomCome said:
And putting myself in the position of the family of the potentially harmed or killed bystander, I can only imagine the fury I would have towards a parent who thought it was no big deal to let their child drive a deadly weapon in public.
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👍

That’s me. I would be highly ticked off if I found out that the driver that hit me and potentially injured me was a 12 year old. And if a family member was killed? ? ? ?
 
I taught my sons to drive around the 10-12 year age mark,
But in the appropriate environment ,not on a street,
We often fail one way or another as a parent, child driving on a street,that’s wrong,
Child driving around a large unoccupied car park,or a field,that’s ok by me,
Should you have told the parent they were incorrect in doing this, well not really,
At best you could have questioned there actions , in a non confrontation way,
 
What happens if the damage caused is in the hundred thousands for an uninsured driver? That’s what your friend is risking in addition to the saftey hazards as well. It is illegal and wrong to put a child in this position.

I don’t buy into the reason that a twelve year old practices more and is a safer driver than a child who starts driving at a legal age. A parent can practice just as much with a child who is as well. There is no race to get a license. It is not like a milestone such as riding a bike or walking for the first time. (Which also not a race) If a child drove on the farm for helping out etc, and no damage to others could happen this is different. But in the city-there is public transportantion and no reason on earth to drive this young.

If your friend is mad about the advice you gave-your friend has it backwards-you should be mad that you have to share the road with unskilled, uninsured, illegal drivers.
 
At 12 I could back a horse trailer down 5 miles of mountain road to find a place to turn around. I could also pull a water skier from a boat to the glassiest water in the whole lake. At 12 in many states you can operate watercraft which is 100 times more dangerous than a car. let the man be a dad and MYOB. Was it worth it?
 
It was painted red
It’s stripe was white
It was 18 feet
From the bow to the stern light
2nd hand from a dealer in Atlanta
I rode up with daddy
When he went there to get her
Put on a shine
Put on a motor
Built out of love
And made for water
Ran it for years
Till the transom got rotton
A piece of my childhood that’ll never be forgotten
It was, just an old plywood boat
75 johnson with electric choke
A young boy, two hands on the wheel
I cant replace the way it made me feel
And I would turn it shore line, and, make it wide
He’d say, ya can’t beat the way an old wood boat rides
Just a little lake across the Alabama line
But I was king of the ocean, when daddy let me drive

Just an old 1/2 ton, short-bed Ford
My uncle bought new, in ‘64
Daddy got it right
Cause the engine was smokin’
Couple of burnt valves and he had it goin’
He’d let me drive her when we’d haul off a load
Down a dirt strip, where we’d dump trash
Off of Thickpin Road

I would sit on the seat
And stretch my feet out to the pedals
Smiling like a hero that just received his medal
It was just an old hand-me-down ford
With 3 speed on the column
And a dent in the door

A young boy, 2 hands on the wheel
I can’t replace the way it, made me feel
And I would press that clutch and I’d keep it right
He’d say a lil’ slower son you’re doin’ just fine
Just a dirt road with trash on each side
But I was Mario Andretti
When daddy let me drive

Im grown up now 3 daughters of my own
I let ‘em drive my old jeep
Cross the pasture at our home
Maybe one day they’ll reach back in their file
And pull out that old memory
And think of me and smile, and say
It’s just an old worn out jeep
With rusty ole floor boards
Hot on my feet
A young girl, two hands on the wheel
I can’t replace the way it, made me feel
And he’d say, turn it left now, and steer it right
Straighten up girl now, you’re doin’ just fine
Just a lil’ valley by the river where we’d ride
But I was high on a mountain, when daddy let me drive
Daddy let me drive
Oh he let me drive
She’s just an old plywood boat with a 75 johnson n’electric choke

Read more: Alan Jackson - When Daddy Let Me Drive Lyrics | MetroLyrics
 
ThyKingdomCome said:
Not only is it a sin to break the law, but it is dangerous to let a 12yo to drive a car on a street where there are others driving, pedestrians walking etc. This would be further sinful IMO, because it is reckless. Some 12yos are plenty tall enough to drive a car, but they don’t have the life experience and level of maturity to make the kind of split second decisions that even a 16yo has (and we all know that many 16yo’s aren’t really mature enough to drive responsibly). You probably don’t need to make split second decisions in an empty field or a parking lot (and it’s probably not illegal). But you might have that dilemma on the street, and the stakes are very, very high. How could a parent live with themselves if their leniency towards these rules caused their 12yo to kill an innocent bystander. And putting myself in the position of the family of the potentially harmed or killed bystander, I can only imagine the fury I would have towards a parent who thought it was no big deal to let their child drive a deadly weapon in public.
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Agree 100%!
 
Well, you probably should have minded your own business but in a sense it was your civic duty to discourage this friend from having his underage kid on the city roads. Hopefully the father doesn’t encourage his son to do other irresponsible activities as he approaches his teen years. Give your friend some time to cool off. People don’t like having the obvious pointed out to them and he was obviously in the wrong.
 
OP, I don’t think you were wrong to say something. His parenting “rights” become my business when he allows his son to drive on a public street where only licensed drivers are supposed to be navigating vehicles.

This is not someone I’d want to be friends with, anyway!
 
Pax2u said:
OP, I don’t think you were wrong to say something. His parenting “rights” become my business when he allows his son to drive on a public street where only licensed drivers are supposed to be navigating vehicles.

This is not someone I’d want to be friends with, anyway!
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Double 👍

I might tell him that “your rights end at the tip of my nose.”
 
Either way you have to learn to drive before you have a Driver’s license. Some here I guess are happy with a couple sessions with a government employee and turn em loose! Over a parent supervising their child and teaching them a life skill.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
Either way you have to learn to drive before you have a Driver’s license. Some here I guess are happy with a couple sessions with a government employee and turn em loose! Over a parent supervising their child and teaching them a life skill.
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Woah! I agree with you that the OP should butt out and let the parents be parents. I also agree that this is just not a big deal.

But…I don’t think that anyone is advocating what you’re talking about here and I think that it’s unfair to say that they are. My guess is that they want the kid to wait until he’s 14 or 15, get a learner’s permit, and then start learning how to drive with mom and dad.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
Woah! I agree with you that the OP should butt out and let the parents be parents. I also agree that this is just not a big deal.

But…I don’t think that anyone is advocating what you’re talking about here and I think that it’s unfair to say that they are. My guess is that they want the kid to wait until he’s 14 or 15, get a learner’s permit, and then start learning how to drive with mom and dad.
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Or if he waits till he is 18 he can just pass a test. with no instruction.😉

THe people that are taking it too far are the ones who are acting like life and limb is in danger here. And that the OP did a service to the offenders and the general public.

Meanwhile illegal immigrants are getting DLs. Yeah, that is safer…

But I doubt the OP is an activist on that front with some Hispanic friends…
 
But in my state a 12 year old can operate a ski boat. Now I know many of you have not driven boats, but guess what, no brakes! Like I said, at 12 I could back a trailer and drive a boat better than most adults. Your life would have been safer with me behind the wheel of the boat than with most drunk weekend warriors in boats. Now, how oh how did I learn that?
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
Either way you have to learn to drive before you have a Driver’s license. Some here I guess are happy with a couple sessions with a government employee and turn em loose! Over a parent supervising their child and teaching them a life skill.
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Don’t know where you live, but in my state students go to (and pay) an outside company who teaches driver’s ed…they aren’t government employees. After several driving sessions (not a couple) they get a learner’s permit which allows them to drive with an adult until they are 16. So the parents are supervising and teaching the life skill, over and above what the driving school does.
 
I’m pretty sure a lot of people here had parents help them before they legally could drive. In fact most people that posted on the first couple pages said so. The OP has not even posted where this was done. As I pointed out in websites people are encouraged to find a Parking lot or a safe place to practice this.

My 7 year old has driven my boat on an empty lake.

It is such a silly thing to say to a friend. And shows a lack of respect for the father. Now, was the dad chugging Old Milwalkees and the 12 year old was burning rubber on the freeway doing 110? We would have a different conversation here.

All the OP said was they live in an urban area. I know plenty of safe places to let a kid “drive” in urban areas. Sometimes even around the block of a quiet neighborhood would be quite appropriate and safe.
 
Pax2u said:
Don’t know where you live, but in my state students go to (and pay) an outside company who teaches driver’s ed…they aren’t government employees. After several driving sessions (not a couple) they get a learner’s permit which allows them to drive with an adult until they are 16. So the parents are supervising and teaching the life skill, over and above what the driving school does.
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Like I said. Or they can wait a magical 2 more years and not have to take drivers ed at all.

Or in states like texas it is 25. But still 25 year olds need only to pass the test.
 
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