Losing Grace/ Mortal Sin and Missing Mass

[BobP123]

1. What is meant by “not being in a state of grace”? So if I miss Mass on a Sunday, haven’t thought about confessing it and die in a car wreck on Tuesday, do I go to hell?

Say an act of perfect contrition if confession isn’t until next Saturday. Perfect means you’re sorry you’ve offended God more than thinking about the punishment you deserve.

 

[wanner47]

I heard this recommendation from Steve Ray on Catholic Answers Live one time –

Start doing a family rosary at home. Get your child his/her own rosary and help them follow along as much as possible. Don’t let him/her run around or be loud during the devotional time; expect them to behave as they would need to at Mass and give instruction in this area accordingly. If you can get them to behave during a family rosary, then having them behave at Mass will be easier, and a family prayer time benefits everyone.

Other recommendations (I have a two-year-old so I know what you’re going through!):

Have a special toy that your child can only play with during Mass. For my daughter, it’s a travel-sized Magna-doodle (she loves to color and draw).

Make sure you have a sippy cup of water and perhaps some portable, non-messy snacks along. Eating is a great distraction for little ones.

Try to quietly point out interesting items during the Mass to keep his/her attention – “What color is Father wearing? Where is the cross? Where is the water? Look, there’s Jesus! Do you see Jesus?” [during the Eucharist] and so on.

Picture books, especially religious-themed ones, are a good idea too.

It is not easy, but the best of luck to you and your family.

 

[cheerfulcherub]

Hi there, I’m new here and have been reading through these messages. I am a Mum to 3 children (6, 2 and 1 years old)and I go to Mass with my husband. We try our best to keep the two little ones quiet and ignore any funny stares. If anyone is worthy to enter a Church it is the little ones, not us sinners!! And if they really play up we go to the back of Church where there is a porch and let them run round there. The way I see it, Jesus said to “Let the little ones come to me for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven” Jesus is a loving God, he will not condemn you for doing your best. I used to try really hard to keep the children quiet but got so angry and upset with my children I felt unworthy to recieve Holy Communion. You made the effort to go to Mass and did your best. Don’t worry.

For example I live in the UK and the bishops decided that the obligation to go to Mass on Ascension Thursday would be fulfilled by going to Mass on Sunday. Thursday was not a Holy day of Obligation. So there was no Mass that we could go to. So we went to Mass on Sunday. We committed no mortal sin, we fulfilled our obligation. Now I know in Germany, Ascension Thursday was a Holy day of Obligation and they also had a bank holiday. So if you were German and missed Mass on Thursday you committed a mortal sin, while in England you didn’t!! So for example, what happens if you were English and was on holiday in Germany. Do you follow the English way (the Sunday after Ascension Thursday fulfills your obligation) or German way (you must attend Mass on Ascension Thursday)!! What rule do you follow and do you commit a mortal sin whatever country’s rules you follow???

Do you see what I mean?? Things are not always so black and white. If rules are rules why did the bishops in England decide to say that Ascension Thursday’s obligation is to be fulfilled on Sunday. Why can they bend the rules??

You attend church and do your best. Don’t get upset with your kids when they play up, they may start to associate Mass with you getting tense and upset. Ignore the stares and don’t worry about mortal sins if you leave early, there are more important things to worry about in this world…

All the best …

 

[theAuthor]

Thanks for all the kind advice. The priest came around tonight and told me to just ignore anyone who stared when the children made noise. He also said that knowing our situation in detail (there are other factors too) that we had not sinned. So I am in a state of grace. Hallelujah!

Yes, cheerfulcherub, getting upset at the boy did worry me quite a bit. I was wrong to be angry. Here I am in the Father’s House being forgiven, and yet I was angry at my own son. So I"ve been told to not get upset and make sure I receive the Eucharist in peace. That way I receive the full blessing of the sacrament. I want my son to associate church with happiness not Dad getting angry, so yeah! Good call.

I think we might start practicing some of the songs at home since I play guitar anyway and my son likes music. At least then some of it will be more familiar to him. I’ll try the prayer time. Not sure how that will go. He can say a fair bit of the Our Father (we say it with him every night before sleep), but if you sit and try and teach him anything formally, he won’t learn that way. It’s got to be “on the fly.”

 

[jmcrae]

What rule do you follow and do you commit a mortal sin whatever country’s rules you follow???

I remember reading about this in the Canon Law when I was looking for something else.

You follow the rule of the place where you slept the night before. So, for example, if you woke up in England and arrive in Germany on Ascension Thursday, the day of obligation doesn’t apply to you. But if you arrived in Germany before, and woke up in Germany on the morning of Ascension Thursday, then you need to go to Mass.

You attend church and do your best. Don’t get upset with your kids when they play up, they may start to associate Mass with you getting tense and upset. Ignore the stares and don’t worry about mortal sins if you leave early, there are more important things to worry about in this world…

I agree with this. Parents do the most important job in the whole world. There is nothing more important than raising your children to love God and be good Catholics, so cut yourself some slack and do whatever works best for your kids. Every kid is different.

 

[jmcrae]

I heard this recommendation from Steve Ray on Catholic Answers Live one time –

Start doing a family rosary at home. Get your child his/her own rosary and help them follow along as much as possible. Don’t let him/her run around or be loud during the devotional time; expect them to behave as they would need to at Mass and give instruction in this area accordingly. If you can get them to behave during a family rosary, then having them behave at Mass will be easier, and a family prayer time benefits everyone.

Other recommendations (I have a two-year-old so I know what you’re going through!):

Have a special toy that your child can only play with during Mass. For my daughter, it’s a travel-sized Magna-doodle (she loves to color and draw).

Make sure you have a sippy cup of water and perhaps some portable, non-messy snacks along. Eating is a great distraction for little ones.

Try to quietly point out interesting items during the Mass to keep his/her attention – “What color is Father wearing? Where is the cross? Where is the water? Look, there’s Jesus! Do you see Jesus?” [during the Eucharist] and so on.

Picture books, especially religious-themed ones, are a good idea too.

It is not easy, but the best of luck to you and your family.

I agree with everything except the food, since it will be very difficult to break them of the snacking habit once you instill it in them - develop the habit of fasting early, and they will not have to be taught to fast for the hour before Holy Communion when they get older - it will just come naturally to them, and that will make your job all that much easier when they get older.

 

[baltobetsy]

Just a little aside - I love the expression some of you use, “play up.” It’s so much nicer and more understanding of the innocence of children than the things I would say, like, “act up” or “misbehave.”

Betsy