Losing Hope Need help

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ServusDei1

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I’ve developed masturbation and porn addiction. There was a time I was able to free myself for a few months but relapsed soon enough. I don’t know what to do, I’ve tried rosaries, and the rest. I feel holy communion will help, but I may have promised not to take it if I forgot to confess a sin. I firmly believe the promise is invalid but I don’t know if I should see a priest. All the advice I’ve been given is terrible and never works.
 
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There is no silver bullet solution to overcoming a habit or attachment like this. If all the advice you have received hasn’t worked…what can anybody here say?

Losing hope in God is not inevitable. Nobody but you can work on developing your spirituality to replace what you are doing. We are supposed to be “dead to sin.” Perhaps you need to focus on the temptation to sin and work to sidestep the initial temptation. How long does it take for the impulse to sin to subside? What happens with you to help make the temptation go away?

Dr Ray Guarendi (psychologist) has a book called Thinking Like Christ. He points out that seldom do any of us have zero self control. Like all the rest of us with our sins, you have to work on that and trust that God will reward you for your faithfulness.
 
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My parents would never allow it. They’re lukewarm and I’m only 16.
 
I am planning on downloading Covenant Eyes for college. Two years from now.
 
When you say they wouldn’t allow it, do you know that because they’ve told you or because you’re guessing?
 
I had OCD. They were extremely resentful in scheduling an appointment with a therapist despite the great fear and anxiety I was under.
 
Does your high school have counselors? Perhaps they wouldn’t mind you going to one of them?
 
Yes, it does. I doubt they’d do anything. I’d get the whole, “masturbation is a normal and health thing to do,” deal. They might refer me to someone, but they wouldn’t take it seriously. I don’t know, this is just conjecture on my part.
 
Your porn habit should be easy enough to quit. Figure out when and how it is entering your life and take steps to avoid it. If you have a stash of porn, get rid of it. If you have a subscription to porn, cancel it. If you see it on your computer in the privacy of your bedroom, etc., there is probably a software solution or, if that doesn’t work, move your computer to a more public place in the house. If you see it on your smartphone, switch to a dumb phone that only allows you to talk and text.

Your masturbation habit is a behavior that took a while to learn, deliberate repetition, and will probably take your body’s muscle memory many years to forget once you stop. The easiest way to avoid sin is to avoid the near occasion of sin. If you are in the habit of touching parts of your body inappropriately at times, it is going to be a lot easier to break that habit if, as far as possible, you stop touching anywhere near those areas altogether and, when it is absolutely necessary to touch those areas, do so with your least-dominant hand, i.e., with your left hand if you are right-handed or your right hand if your are left handed. For instance, if you are in the habit of touching your genitals inappropriately at times and you are used to urinating standing up touching your genitals, develop the new habit of only urinating while sitting on a toilet not touching your genitals, as that should minimize any necessary hand-genital contact. If you like to put your hands in your front pants pockets, stop. If you are doing it to warm your hands, find some other way, such as; cross your arms or wear gloves.

The thread was closed before I could respond to BoomBoomMancini, who said, “This seems…psychotic. Are you going to next advise he avoid washing his crotch in the shower? 🤢” To BoomBoom I would say, I would not advise avoiding basic hygiene but I would advise washing that area with the less-dominant hand and not to linger, touching that area only as long as necessary.
 
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I mean, honestly, this is probably just gonna be your cross to bear for awhile. I’m not saying, “hey, whatever, go ahead and do it.” You should try to avoid it. At the same time, recognize that everyone struggles with this, especially at your age. Every male saint was probably once a 16 year old boy with this problem.

Again, I’m not saying don’t work on it. But I am saying don’t get all worked up and start beating yourself up.
 
For instance, if you are in the habit of touching your genitals inappropriately at times and you are used to urinating standing up touching your genitals, develop the new habit of only urinating while sitting on a toilet not touching your genitals, as that should minimize any necessary hand-genital contact.
This seems…psychotic. Are you going to next advise he avoid washing his crotch in the shower? 🤢
 
Again, I’m not saying don’t work on it. But I am saying don’t get all worked up and start beating yourself up.
Interestingly enough, my priest gave a homily kind of like that last Sunday. I’ll do it some injustice due to summarizing, but here’s the gist.

He was saying that one of the best pieces of advice he has gotten was to not miss the forest for the trees. And when he gets people asking for advice, like in Confession, they’ll see only this sin they’re dealing with. So he’ll ask about the good things they do. Of course the good things don’t mean to keep sinning, but people sometimes lose the forest when they focus only on the tree of what they do wrong.
 
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