Losing my Best Friend

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dianaballein

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I feel as if I am losing my best friend. Our phone calls have all but ceased to exist. There are many things going on at work so we no longer are able to send “catch up on our lives” emails…very rarely (we live in different States). I remember when we made our friendship a priority, and NOT talking was NOT an option for either one of us, and now I feel like an obligation…just someone else to add stress to them. I love them more than anything and life is unimaginable without them in it. Does anyone have any advice on how I can learn to get over this hurdle without emotionally closing myself off to them? I tend to do that when I feel like I am going to be hurt.
 
I really feel for you. My closest friend, or at least the one who understands me the best, lives at the other end of the country. When I moved away, we stayed in touch a lot at first, but it became less and less frequent as her life changed. Once or twice a year we’d have marathon phone calls, but she also was very busy and it hurt to know I wasn’t right up there at the top of her “to do” list anymore. The good news is that 17 years later, we’re still very close, but it took some adjustment of my expecta-tions. We treasure our marathon calls, and each time we talk it’s as though we saw each other just yesterday. Keep plugging!
 
But just like any relationship, it can’t be all one person trying and the other one drifting away. It’s the realization of 'I am not important anymore" that is hurting my heart. Of hearing, “You will always be my best friend and everything to me” only to see by actions that these were mere words.
 
I know… but sometimes it IS one person doing all the work, and one hurting, and sometimes that lasts awhile. But that’s love, whether it’s friends, siblings or spouses.
 
I see that. Just not sure how to cope with feeling the way I feel.
 
Are the two of you good enough friends that you can talk to her about it?
 
It happens–especially if you don’t live near enough to see each other face to face. I’ve grown apart from a lot of my old friends. Some is distance, but a lot is that we changed. Well, I did anyway. I’m not into the party scene anymore, I prefer going to Church. So not much in common anyway. 🤷 I’ve made new friends here though. 👍
 
FickleFreckled said:
Are the two of you good enough friends that you can talk to her about it?
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I have. She tells me she is stressed out, between work pulling her in a million different directions and things at home that its not personal…that I view them as changes and she views them as just circumstances.
 
Teakafrog said:
It happens–especially if you don’t live near enough to see each other face to face. I’ve grown apart from a lot of my old friends. Some is distance, but a lot is that we changed. Well, I did anyway. I’m not into the party scene anymore, I prefer going to Church. So not much in common anyway. 🤷 I’ve made new friends here though. 👍
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That’s wonderful Teakafrog. New friends are great! I have quite a few friends, and I am blessed to have them. She is my BEST FRIEND though. We know things…we have shared things…and have been in each others lives for a long time, since high school.
 
I’m so sorry you’re hurting. It’s a ****** place to be.
 
(I had no idea the descriptive word I used was bad enough to get bleeped. I thought it was pretty tame.
Now I’ve been bleeped. I guess I’m a really CA member now…)
 
I know how you feel. One of my closest friends has really not been good at keeping in touch with me since I moved 4,000 miles away 2.5 years ago. It’s been hard to be the only one calling and sending e-mails, but I try to just be patient. It does hurt a lot, but I hope that we can still be close friends when both of us are willing and able to make our friendship a priority.

Continue to e-mail your friend, and pray for her. Let her know you love her and are always there for her. Hopefully things will change.
 
gettingthere said:
I know how you feel. One of my closest friends has really not been good at keeping in touch with me since I moved 4,000 miles away 2.5 years ago. It’s been hard to be the only one calling and sending e-mails, but I try to just be patient. It does hurt a lot, but I hope that we can still be close friends when both of us are willing and able to make our friendship a priority.

Continue to e-mail your friend, and pray for her. Let her know you love her and are always there for her. Hopefully things will change.
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Thank you. I am trying to not lose faith, and I do pray for the both of us each day. Now I pray I have enough internal, emotional strength to keep things in perspective and not feel as if I am rejected.
 
She’s very fortunate to have a friend like you. I hope you’re able to get your friendship back on track.
 
life need go on , just face it and deal with it with the way u think right,
don’t worry about the result just do it:thumbsup: 👍 👍
 
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