Losing trust in God

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vesnianka

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I have been unemployed for about a year and three months. For a good long time, I was strong in saying - God will help me find a job. I have been doing charity work in the meantime. Six, seven months went by and nothing - no job. My prayers became more fervent. Nothing. Ten, eleven months went by and I began begging for help. Nothing - no job. By the end of the eleventh month, my faith began waivering. Other personal things in my life began to crash around me. More prayers for help - now to Our Mother and all the angels and saints in heaven. Nothing. I tried to recruit more souls to pray for me, for help, by the time the 12th month rolled around. This time I tried to recruit every possible soul in heaven, those in purgatory and prayer groups around the world.

Well, by the time January rolled around, I became exhausted with prayer. I feel empty, and that God is far away. My prayers seem to be falling on deaf ears. Nothing seems to work. I began to stop praying. I barely say the rosary, once a week now. Prayers seem fruitless, useless and just a waste of time. Then, I began to get a bit angry at Jesus. Disappointed, is a good word. Since November, I have been crying so hard, that massive tears fall - like I’ve never experienced before. I don’t recall ever crying so deeply, in my life. Nothing seems to console me.

I have now been praying lately for grace to trust in Jesus. Is this a sin, to lose trust in God?
 
Frequent the sacraments. In the Eucharist you will find the strength to bear your cross. Trust in Jesus, He is giving you a share in His Cross.
 
Thanks so much for your advice. Yes, I attend confession and go to Communion every week. Do you think it’s necessary to go even more frequently?

What you say about Jesus sharing His cross with me, has hit a (positive) chord with me. Thanks for bringing that up. Sometimes we get so involved with our own problems that obvious things like that gets pushed back and we can’t see it.
 
If you’re unemployed it is a good opportunity to take up daily mass! 🙂

You could even go twice a day being unemployed and spend time in adoration chapels. It is a tremendous spiritual opportunity, tremendous to spend so much time alone with God so closely.

Also I would say that your very attachment to getting what you want rather than what God gives you when He desires to gives it could be one of the key reasons your prayer is -not- being answered in the affirmative. The lesson to abide by His every decision is one of the most important ones He continues to give us remedial lessons in UNTIL WE LEARN IT FOR GOOD.

Books like ‘Trustful Surrender in Divine Providence’ speak of this. 🙂

You are alive, you have the ability to type, you can surf the internet, you can do numerous things… You must be happy for what He has given you… grateful for what you have… 🙂 Everyday.

It is a glorious thing just to be alive and be able to breath and look up at the sky.

God may also be trying to teach you some special things. Perhaps you have a religious vocation and this working world is not for you.

There are many possible reasons for what is occurring. 🙂

Pray ‘Thy will be done’, and pray ‘May my will be thy will.’ And ‘May I learn the lessons You would teach me.’ 🙂

To be able to do penance is needful in this life. 🙂 To carry our cross yes, with Christ – We can pray for the cup to be taken away, but when it is given we must hold it firmly and with full acknowledgment of God’s will in our life. Amen. Amen. 🙂
 
Prayer is useless without action. God should not be used as a solution; He should play the role of motivation.

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood
 
By the way you haven’t had any problems with the occult I trust? Losing jobs, everything falling apart, these can also be signs of malignant activity associated with that.
 
No, no, no…no stuff like that. Some comments have made some very good sense, here. I guess I just needed to hear it: getting attached to what I want, rather than God’s will for me; carrying my share of Jesus’ cross and learning lessons from this experience. [sigh]. This is tough - very tough. My life in the past 5 years have been turbulent, after a dramatic conversion. It seems all so compacted with no end for a breather. But, I have been blessed and my prayers were answered about getting married. 73 days left before God joins us!!! God is very cool. This posting has helped me tremendously!!!
 
Good post also about “God is useless without action”. I’ll have to think about that one a bit more.

Has anyone experienced a possible answer to what God’s will is for you, but were deathly afraid to even begin it? Back in October, after praying, I think I heard God, but I don’t know if it was my own made up thoughts, or if it really was God. It certainly left me mind-blown for a few days. Doesn’t God want us to do little things, like St. Theresa, rather than big projects?
 
vesnianka said:
Good post also about “God is useless without action”. I’ll have to think about that one a bit more.

Has anyone experienced a possible answer to what God’s will is for you, but were deathly afraid to even begin it? Back in October, after praying, I think I heard God, but I don’t know if it was my own made up thoughts, or if it really was God. It certainly left me mind-blown for a few days. Doesn’t God want us to do little things, like St. Theresa, rather than big projects?
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Let’s hear it? 🙂
 
As I mentioned earlier, for the past 5 years I’ve had it a bit turbulent. After a previous fiance became mentally ill, our wedding plans halted, I lost my job (budgetary issues), and for a while, lost my apartment (because I was supposed to move to Chicago to get married, and my landlord promised it away). Two years ago, after endless prayer to figure out what to do, I was ‘inspired’ through prayer and events around me, to move to Ukraine (long story) to take up a job opportunity. This is where I am now.

Last October, I took a short trip to Krakow and visited St. Faustina’s convent and painting in the chapel. I prayed and asked God to make this trip “worth it” and meaningful - that it would change my life. Within a week, during prayers, I was bolted with the thought that the reason why I came to Ukraine was to open up a Catholic school here, in Kyiv. This is a very Eastern Orthodox country.

I immediately became aggressive with this thought and became angry and kept saying, NO…NO…NO…I can’t. But when I told this to my priest, he immediately whisked me away to see the Bishop - that day! He seems to have had this other nuns approach him about starting one in Kyiv and he’s interested in seeing a business plan from me.

I’ve been so engrossed in trying to get a job, that I wrote up the framework of the business plan, and have done some preliminary research, but I haven’t dared to go farther and finish it. But, in the back of my mind, I feel this will grow legs quickly, and it may actually be the will of God.

I have the skills…But, I’m afraid to start.
 
For a long time, I kept telling myself (and God) “This is craaazy!” “Absolutely craaaazy!!!” “No waaaaaaaaaay!!!”

If this is really the will of God, I must be God’s problem child. In the end, I think I’ll do it, but I am so bad - I keep kicking and screaming all the way to heaven. It’s very painful…
 
vesnianka said:
I’ve been so engrossed in trying to get a job, that I wrote up the framework of the business plan, and have done some preliminary research, but I haven’t dared to go farther and finish it. But, in the back of my mind, I feel this will grow legs quickly, and it may actually be the will of God.

I have the skills…But, I’m afraid to start.
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I’m well-aware that Fear is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, but, please, don’t be afraid to make a living. You have to take of yourself and of your loved ones. You can feel the fear, if it’s that powerful, but face it and fight it.

Take responsibility of your actions and, ultimately, take control of your Life. Things may not go your way, but that doesn’t mean you have to quit.

Ironically Yours. ❤️
 
O.o Umph. That’s a biggie alright. That’s going to take some prayer and thought.
 
Honestly, I would rather have the 9-5 job for the short term, have kids and then start up a Catholic school.
 
You can’t have it all, at least not at once. 🙂

Have you ever thought of contacting those nuns who had the same idea?
 
I could only empathize with your emotions now. Emotions are neither right nor wrong. Pain, frustrations, the feeling of betrayal, sufferings should not separate us from God – but let us seek meanings in them. For me, its OK, if you pour out your bitterness to God, just like a child to his parents, but perhaps we also need to listen… to the small voice… When everything is gone and when we separate ourselves from God … what would be left in us?
 
vesnianka said:
Honestly, I would rather have the 9-5 job for the short term, have kids and then start up a Catholic school.
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The question here, Vesnianka, is not your will, but God’s will. Perhaps NOW is the time for this move and there are great things in store for you, so this is life’s way of pushing you towards God’s plan. Don’t delay it for your own desires, you can get married and have children WHILE running a school.
 
Well, running a school, and STARTING a school in Ukraine is extremely difficult in Ukraine. These are two very different things. There is extreme corruption here, to such an extent most Americans will never see in their lifetimes in the US. It’s not about ‘just picking up and starting’. There are mind-blowing obstacles I see, to just get legal documents underway. Bribing and corruption and deliberate road blocks ‘just because I’m a foreigner’ is normal way of life. Americans don’t understand the extremity of this project. If I start this, it will be a mountain for me to climb. Everything is done here, through bribes. Things that (literally) takes a few moments or a few minutes to do in the US, takes hours and hours of standing in line (forget about chairs), arguments with angry state workers, being declined for various needed stamps (because state workers want bribes), magnified red-tape and beaurocracy.

This would become a nightmare…
 
But you say that some sisters and a priest were interested in this? Surely if you work with them, they will aid you. Also, if this is truly God’s will, why is there anything worrying you?

“Be not afraid, I go before you always, come follow me, and I will give you rest”
 
If you don’t mind, please pray for me - to make the right choices, even if it goes against my own will, logic and reason. i think i know the answer to what i’m supposed to do. it’s just about taking the step forward, completely losing myself to God’s will. As some saints have mentioned, we need to abandon ourselves to God. It’s like taking a step off of a cliff, having faith that God will catch you. That’s how I feel about this. I’m only standing at the edge right now, looking down and looking out to see where God is. St. Faustina had such deep faith and trust in God…oh, saints in heaven, help me.
 
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