Losing your temper

[ComputerGeek25]

Hi all,

Not trying to be scrupulous here…

Is losing your temper a mortal sin?

For example… I know someone, that I’ve called out some of their lifestyle activity (in private of course). We’ve tolerated each other, and I’ve always left the door open for her in case she changed and wanted to have an honest discussion. I have tried to be very forgiving with her.

Anyways, she told me about some conquest she went on, and I told her “you really got to stop.” She said some really hurtful stuff to me to try to get under my skin. Of course, it worked. I said some hurtful stuff back. Most of it is stupid name calling/3-year old name calling, and I should know better and walk away. And I don’t wish any ill on her (nor have I ever have). Like most things, it passes and I don’t harbor negative feelings (i.e. I got to get revenge or I hope she drops dead). I usually walk away after a bit, usually after damage has been done.

I’ll be the first one in line to say two wrongs don’t make a right. But, in a case like this, is it mortal or venial?

 

[whatevergirl]

Hi all,

Not trying to be scrupulous here…

Is losing your temper a mortal sin?

For example… I know someone, that I’ve called out some of their lifestyle activity (in private of course). We’ve tolerated each other, and I’ve always left the door open for her in case she changed and wanted to have an honest discussion. I have tried to be very forgiving with her.

Anyways, she told me about some conquest she went on, and I told her “you really got to stop.” She said some really hurtful stuff to me to try to get under my skin. Of course, it worked. I said some hurtful stuff back. Most of it is stupid name calling/3-year old name calling, and I should know better and walk away. And I don’t wish any ill on her (nor have I ever have). Like most things, it passes and I don’t harbor negative feelings (i.e. I got to get revenge or I hope she drops dead). I usually walk away after a bit, usually after damage has been done.

I’ll be the first one in line to say two wrongs don’t make a right. But, in a case like this, is it mortal or venial?

Hi computergeek!

During a recent Confession, I asked the same question of my priest. There have been times I wasn’t charitable in replies to others, or yelled at my kids a bit too loudly. He said something interesting, that if the anger is ‘unwarranted’…that in some other way, you could accomplish the goal without showing anger, then it would fall into the category of venial sins. For example–you didn’t need to reply back ‘in kind’ to your friend, so maybe confessing it wouldn’t be a bad idea…to cleanse your conscience. But, unwarranted anger left unchecked he said, can lead to mortal sins. I thought that was a great explanation.

Jesus was angry with the people he found selling things in the temple…rightfully so. He really was angry, but it was warranted, because He wanted to make a serious point that what they were doing was blasphemous.

 

[ComputerGeek25]

Hi computergeek!

During a recent Confession, I asked the same question of my priest. There have been times I wasn’t charitable in replies to others, or yelled at my kids a bit too loudly. He said something interesting, that if the anger is ‘unwarranted’…that in some other way, you could accomplish the goal without showing anger, then it would fall into the category of venial sins. For example–you didn’t need to reply back ‘in kind’ to your friend, so maybe confessing it wouldn’t be a bad idea…to cleanse your conscience. But, unwarranted anger left unchecked he said, can lead to mortal sins. I thought that was a great explanation.

Jesus was angry with the people he found selling things in the temple…rightfully so. He really was angry, but it was warranted, because He wanted to make a serious point that what they were doing was blasphemous.

Hey whatevergirl!

I’ll probably confess it to cleanse the conscious as you suggest.

Normally, I wouldn’t start out angry. It’s just I would let things get a bit out of hand on my end. And it’s not that I wish any evil on this person or scheme in every waking moment to get revenge - which seems to be mortal, in some of the reflection material I use to prepare to go to confession. It’s just usually gets to the point of calling each other stupid, to put it simply. Of course I have said things that I wish I could take back (and have apologized for). For example, gossip is a sin. If I were to post some gossip here on a public message board for all to see, that would be the worst. But, if I had a private conversation with a friend, that may be different. See what I’m getting at?

I’m kinda leaning toward venial.

 

[antonius]

I don’t consider merely “losing one’s temper” to be mortally sinful. One of the seven deadly sins is “wrath.” That’s typically more than just a loss of one’s temper. If anger reaches the point of unbridled wrath, then that’s the point at which it should be seen as deadly.

 

[StCsDavid]

Ps.30

5] For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.

Anger is a feeling we all have, apparently even God. Offer your anger to Our Lord in prayer. In fact, every feeling, even negative ones can be an entry into prayer. You might enjoy this article I wrote this week.

Pax vobiscum

 

[ComputerGeek25]

Thanks for all your (name removed by moderator)ut.

It sounds like, that we all get annoyed and angry at times. And may say things that we shouldn’t say or don’t mean. And after the fact, we may think “that was stupid” and try apologize to the person.

Ultimately, if we don’t let our anger own us, and our actions, we should be ok.

 

[Chancellare]

I think this thread is very timely and rather under rated. In today’s relativistic environment, we are tempted to be legalistic and ethically correct, without examining our conscience vis-a-vis what I call “the economy of anger”.

Anger(or wrath, is there a substantive difference?) has been identified as one of the seven deadly sins. Yet how many of us keep track how many times we get angry in one day and confess them? More often we rationalize our actions and dismiss them as “not intentional” and “no full knowledge” and therefore not a sin. But do we normally count the hurt and damage those angry actions have caused the receiving party?

Another way of rationalizing anger is by saying “God made me that way” (easy to anger). Also another tenuous rationalization is the “hormonal” angle: If one has hormonal imbalance, the fits of anger can be very dramatic, cyclical and most often disproportionate to the stimulus.

Besides, this world has so much supply of injustice and iniquities that one can easily get depressed or overwhelmed to generate a constant level of anger on almost anything that violates one’s sensitivities.

It does not take so much thinking to conclude that there is so much things in this world to be angry about in general and so much chances to get angry within a particular situation.

Taking all the possible sources of anger, the whole system points to a glut of supply while there is no legitimate demand.

This is what I mean with the ‘economy of anger’. Having said this, we are supposed to help in keeping the supply low by practicing Christian virtues such as humility, fortitude, perseverance, temperance, etc…

 

[Greg27]

While anger is listed as one of the capital sins, we should also remember Jesus himself got angry (remember the incident at the temple and the money changers) and anger is a normal human emotion, in itself. It can become a capital sin if it, in our hearts, leads to hatred of someone, and then the desire arises in our hearts to do the object of our anger great harm, including murder.

Anger is just so long as it is proportinate to the cause, and in becoming angry we do not fall into the trap of desiring seriously and with intent to do someone serious harm (i.e. punching them in the face, kicking them, harming them, etc).