Lost and Confused

[streetmachine]

Hello all, I am not sure if this is the correct place to post this, but am coming here to hopefully find some much needed clarity in my life.

I was born and raised Catholic. However, the past couple of years I have slowly been falling away from everything I once believed. Its not that I stopped believing, its just that I feel like I’ve wised up to all the inconsistancies in everything. I still go to church every Sunday, trying desperately to find God, but things have only become more bleak.

Theres just so much fog in my life, I can’t seem to make sense of anything. I have seen my cousins alienated from my grandpa because they chose not to follow Catholic beliefs. I’m seeing my dad fade into nothingness as he lost his job and just smokes weed everyday. My uncle commited suicide, my grandparents have no money and can barely survive, my other uncle is very sick and has basically lived in the hospital for years.

I’m not here to recieve sympathy. Life is very tough, and I realise that. I just don’t see how God is letting all this happen. I still believe in a God, but its definitely not the God I grew up believing in. A more sadistic genious creator seems to be more suitable to my view of creation.

Yet, I still have been searching for God, but to no avail. I have read many books (Mere Christianity, even tried parts of the Summa Theologica by Aquinas) but feel like I have gotten no where, and Truth just seems even more blurred and elusive the more I try to find it. It seems for every teaching there is a valid counterpoint or exception to the rule. I have been reading on Catholic forums, and people can’t seem to 100% agree on anything.

I just don’t see why eternal salvation of your soul should be so confusing. I believe in good and evil, but all the rules and debates just leave me tired. I want to believe, I just don’t know how. Sorry for the long post, I guess I had to get it off my chest. If anyone can help I’d be grateful.

Johnny

 

[Paxvobis]

First of all, hello and welcome to the forums!

I know where you’re coming from and I’ve been in your position. I used to be an agnostic and while I believed in God and believed that Jesus was a good person, I didn’t feel any relationship with God. I also didn’t understand why there is evil in the world and how God’s existence could be proven.

But since I returned to the Church, I’ve begun to do some research and thinking on these topics. The intellectual foundation and backing of the Catholic faith is really amazing but so many people don’t even know it exists! A priest on YouTube - Fr. Robert Barron - has video commentaries which discuss faith issues like the ones you’ve just brought up (like the problem of evil, proofs for the existence of God, refutations of atheism, et cetera). I’d highly recommend looking him up there. But barring any intellectual discussion, just remind yourself that God exists and that God is love. Evil is a lack, not a thing in and of itself. God loves you so much that he sent his only son to live among us and to suffer and die the most cruel death that you may enter into Heaven. “Greater love than this no man hath, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” God loves you so much that he gives himself physically to you in the Eucharist and forgives any sin you commit in the Sacrament of Confession.

Life is hard, but if you fight the good fight, finish the race, and keep the faith, it will be better on the other side.

Stay strong.

 

[Cryptic1]

I too was born and raised Catholic and was a prime example of what a Catholic should be–I was a music minister, attended Mass often and was called a “good Catholic” by many. But underneath all this, there was a growing discontent with my Catholic faith and I started to ask a lot of questions.

If you are truly looking for God–you will find Him. He will reveal Himself to you-- maybe through a song or a book or a conversation with a friend. The truth is, God wants a relationship with you as much as you want to know Him but you must do your part by searching Him out.

Because I was on a journey to know God I read as many books I could get my hands on–Catholic and Christian,. I attended Christian churches as well as Catholic and made a startling discovery. When I went to Mass, I could feel God’s presence speaking to Me through scripture or a song, and especially while preparing for communion. When I worshipped at Christian churches, I found God came alive in the Bible teachings every Sunday and His presence was as real as when I attended Mass.

So, where do you find God? If you are a traditional type of individual, the Catholic Church is for you. There is no question that God is present in the church–during Mass, and in the sacraments but sometimes it is not easy to find Him among His people. The limitations of the Mass also do not allow for fellowship or getting to know your fellow Catholics, so if this is for you, I would encourage you to find a church that has weekly gatherings. Studies have shown that most people retain their faith if they not only attend Sunday church regularly, but also have a strong support group that enforces that.

If you are more about social interaction, then attending a Protestant or Christian church may be for you. Christian churches are pretty well rounded–there are ministries for youth, singles, married people, etc. to meet all the needs of the Body of Christ. There, in the Bible teachings, you will discover God in His Word. There you will begin to see how much He loves you and how much He wants to have a relationship with you.

Please don’t wait to go to church to find God. You can talk to Him anywhere because He’s God. Listen for His still small voice inside your heart. He really wants you to know Him and He’s been waiting an eternity for You to find Him.

God Bless

 

[Paxvobis]

If you are more about social interaction, then attending a Protestant or Christian church may be for you. Christian churches are pretty well rounded–there are ministries for youth, singles, married people, etc. to meet all the needs of the Body of Christ. There, in the Bible teachings, you will discover God in His Word. There you will begin to see how much He loves you and how much He wants to have a relationship with you.

Catholics are Christians too.

 

[PennyinCanada]

Know that there is a spiritual battle going on and you are in the field. There is a lot of bombs going off (like your family for instance) a lot of smoke, a lot of confusion.

God is an awesome God, and through Jesus He wants to be your father, to walk you through this life. To carry you in his arms like a shepherd carrying his lamb. If you knew how much He loves you, you would weep with joy. If you knew what heaven was like, you would take on anything to get there!

God does not sow confusion. Keep calling to him and you will meet him.

You expired Jesus but the source of life gushed forth for souls and the ocean of mercy opened up for the whole world. Oh font of Life, unfathomable Divine Mercy, envelop the whole world and empty yourself out upon us! Oh blood and water which gushed forth from the heart of Jesus as a fountain of mercy, I trust in you!

Blessings.

 

[cccw2009]

Hello all, I am not sure if this is the correct place to post this, but am coming here to hopefully find some much needed clarity in my life.

I was born and raised Catholic. However, the past couple of years I have slowly been falling away from everything I once believed. Its not that I stopped believing, its just that I feel like I’ve wised up to all the inconsistancies in everything. I still go to church every Sunday, trying desperately to find God, but things have only become more bleak.

Theres just so much fog in my life, I can’t seem to make sense of anything. I have seen my cousins alienated from my grandpa because they chose not to follow Catholic beliefs. I’m seeing my dad fade into nothingness as he lost his job and just smokes weed everyday. My uncle commited suicide, my grandparents have no money and can barely survive, my other uncle is very sick and has basically lived in the hospital for years.

I’m not here to recieve sympathy. Life is very tough, and I realise that. I just don’t see how God is letting all this happen. I still believe in a God, but its definitely not the God I grew up believing in. A more sadistic genious creator seems to be more suitable to my view of creation.

Yet, I still have been searching for God, but to no avail. I have read many books (Mere Christianity, even tried parts of the Summa Theologica by Aquinas) but feel like I have gotten no where, and Truth just seems even more blurred and elusive the more I try to find it. It seems for every teaching there is a valid counterpoint or exception to the rule. I have been reading on Catholic forums, and people can’t seem to 100% agree on anything.

I just don’t see why eternal salvation of your soul should be so confusing. I believe in good and evil, but all the rules and debates just leave me tired. I want to believe, I just don’t know how. Sorry for the long post, I guess I had to get it off my chest. If anyone can help I’d be grateful.

Johnny

I’m not much help but I can relate with you. I understand how hard life can be and hard times can definitely take a toll on anyone’s faith. My faith in God always seem to stay strong, it is the Church that I at many times in the past always seem to lose faith in. Don’t know why.
But I keep strong.

Say prayers often. You can never go wrong with prayer! keep the faith! Life won’t always be so hard.

The other three posters gave you some great advice and words of wisdom

 

[5Loaves]

Christ is in our midst!

Hello all, I am not sure if this is the correct place to post this, but am coming here to hopefully find some much needed clarity in my life…

Theres just so much fog in my life, I can’t seem to make sense of anything. I have seen my cousins alienated from my grandpa because they chose not to follow Catholic beliefs. I’m seeing my dad fade into nothingness as he lost his job and just smokes weed everyday. My uncle commited suicide, my grandparents have no money and can barely survive, my other uncle is very sick and has basically lived in the hospital for years…

Johnny

Dear Johnny-
Welcome to the Catholic Answers Forum!
You are very courageous to bring your pain and fears here. I believe it is the Holy Spirit at work in you which has led you to do that. As troubled as your family now is they have blessed you by seeing that you received your sacraments in the Catholic Church and God does give you His graces by those Sacraments which are helping you survive the chaotic and troubled family situation you are in.

God made us for love, and within all of the struggles you are facing He is always there with perfect love for you. Sometimes the humans in our lives do fail us.

You go to Mass every Sunday you said. If your parish has a deacon please speak with him about your situation. If there is not a deacon I would also encourage you to find out if there is a Youth Minister and speak with him. Another person who might be helpful is your parish St. Vincent dePaul leader. They might be able to help you connect with a kind of “big brother” or mentor, a solid older parishioner who could spend some time with you just having a meal together, going for a walk, praying together. Is there anyone there at Mass who you have felt any connection to? If so, please consider asking to speak with them about your troubles. If you haven’t connected with anyone you’d feel you could approach pray that someone might be made known to you somehow who could be a friend to you there.

A wonderful saint, Teresa of Avila said “Christ has no body but yours, No hands, no feet on earth but yours,” All of us who are Christians are Christ to the world. Being Christ to you is part of what the members of the parish you attend are called and gifted to do because of their Baptism.

You can grow in faith and hope during this time. You are created in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:27). You are deserving of love and care. That your family cannot do this for you is an all too common sad situation. Let others in your parish help you. That is a gift to them as well.

Some day when you are older and can look back on this difficult time you will carry in you a profound closeness to all the millions of abandoned and abused children, young people, adults, elderly throughout the world and you may have a special call to pray for them.

You can know that anyone who reads your post here will surely hold you in prayer.