Lost in College

[ProdigalSon4293]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post here, so forgive me if I don’t follow all the correct rules.

Anyways, I am a freshman in college wrapping up my first year. This year has brought out a side of me I never had. I have been questioning faith and God’s existence and the afterlife and Jesus and prayer and so much more. I don’t have anyone to help guide me on these matters.

I am surrounded by people who drink all the time, have sex with one another as if it’s nothing, treat others terribly, and are way more into material things than important aspects of life.

I have fallen into these traps on multiple occasions, some nights drinking until I puke. I constantly search for pleasure, whether it be alcohol or some sort of drug or hooking up with a girl, and I’m left with such a hole in my heart. Nobody around me can talk with me about God or anything like that, I feel so lost and scared and lonely and depressed I want him in my life, I just don’t know what to do. Whenever I end up asking people around me what they think about God they get so weirded out by me and end up walking away.

Do you have any advice for me? Thank you so much, I really appreciate you all.

 

[Trishie]

Welcome to our CAF community.
It can be easy to be lead astray in the atmosphere of College, but you have come to repent your faults.
Naturally your conscience and sense of closeness to God and faith is vague at present. You’ve injured your soul;
if you are Catholic, I would recommend that you go to Confession and make a new beginning.
Your designation is Christian, so have you thought of sitting down where you wont be disturbed and talking with God about everything,
everything you’ve done wrong,
and asking God’s help for the future.
This will begin your healing and enable you to move closer to God.

Have you thought of asking God’s mercy and grace for those people around you who sin and who reject God. They may perhaps have no one else to pray for them.

May God guide you to find good Christian friends.

My prayers for you, and kind wishes

 

[ProdigalSon4293]

Thank you so much. How do I talk to God though, and how can I tell he’s really listening? Do I talk to him like I would any normal person? And how can I tell when he’s responding to me?
Again, thank you so much for your time and help.

 

[itullian]

you’re one of those lucky people born with an inate sense of goodness and thirst for God. Don’t turn your back on it.

Buy and read a Bible, go to church if you can and come here too.

Don’t be afraid to bring up God. It’s lonely at first, but it gets better.

Your soul is yearning for God, it’s a wonderous blessing.

are there any God based clubs there? maybe start one?

peace

 

[Et_Cetera]

We all stray; it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Honestly, I think a good man is someone who never willingly tries to cause harm to others. If you feel like you’re not happy with your current group of friends, then maybe seek out some others. Try to p(name removed by moderator)oint the things that you don’t like yourself doing and work on changing them little by little because that’s a plan that you can reasonably stick to. You can’t expect to wake up a saint.

In a few years, your peers should grow out of this type of behavior a little bit, and then it might not be so hard to resist. This probably isn’t good Catholic advice, but I do think that at the very least it’s realistic. I might also recommend sitting down and really thinking about where you stand on various issues. This could be political, philosophical, etc. For example, ask yourself: How should I treat others? Do I strictly agree with X religion? What is the proper way to consume alcohol? How should I treat the girls around me?

By getting to know yourself well, I think it becomes easier to stick to your morals, even when others do not agree with you. Also, maybe you can find a local church where you can speak to some religious folks. It sounds like you’re having trouble finding people at your school who want to discuss these matters, and that isn’t surprising really.

I understand the questioning of religion, as I, too, underwent a decent amount of questioning. I am still in the process, actually, but I am getting to know myself better and better. Although I am not currently adhering to a particular faith, I do believe that I have a strong set of morals, and since I really believe in my morals I find that it is easier to stick to them.

Ultimately, try not to harm others and be helpful to other people when you can be. I think this alone will allow you to start feeling better. Disclaimer: Some of this advice might not follow Catholic doctrine. As someone who just finished undergrad, I’m merely giving you my opinions. Good luck, Prodigal.

P.S. Study hard.

 

[Trishie]

Just talk to God from your heart and mind with honesty.
Just be yourself with God who knows you better than anyone.
God seldom answers directly. He answers though the events in our lives, little changes that sometimes we don’t recognize immediately, but little by little they fall into place.

God sometimes answers in little ways through others, even on an internet forum.
I am in Australia, but there is God’s grace in your coming to this forum, even if you live and ocean away, and I happened to be here at this time, and to care enough to want to encourage and pray for you.
That’s a little glimpse of God’s love.

 

[itullian]

Thank you so much. How do I talk to God though, and how can I tell he’s really listening? Do I talk to him like I would any normal person? And how can I tell when he’s responding to me?
Again, thank you so much for your time and help.

talk to Him with love and respect. he hears you. do you know the Our Father prayer? that’s a good start. Jesus gave us that one.

 

[Trishie]

Formal prayer is good, and the Lord’s Prayer said thoughtfully and meaningfully is a wonderful thing.
Jesus Himself taught us that prayer and gave us the right to call God “Father”

Prayer isn’t just a formal thing. Talking to God spontaneously and honestly at any time is a wonderful way to grow in God. Share even the ordinary things with God.
Remember that Jesus lived around 30 years of “ordinary” life.
He didn’t come suddenly on earth as a glorious personage.
Jesus lived ordinary life in goodness and love of God, of others, showing us how sacred our daily lives are in God’s sight, so what You share with God of your daily life and real self is very important.

 

[MontJ]

I graduated from college last year… starting graduate school recently. I’ve been to several universities and had a difficult time finding a group of friends. The time of college can be a deep search of self discovery and it will take time. Some avoid it and go a very long time not knowing who they are. Questioning God, questioning your faith is part of it. God allows that to happen to people but the thing is, I can tell by your post, you have a heavy desire for Him. Foster that desire. Like Et Catera said the more you discover of yourself, the easier it will be to be a witness.

Don’t be afraid to be a witness in circumstances such as those. Even when no one else seems to be searching directly and intently for God doesn’t mean their heart doesn’t long for it. Do your best to be a witness. They don’t talk about God? Well don’t be afraid to talk about Him around them yourself. Don’t force it but if the occasion arises try not to hesitate. They talk about having sex a lot? Don’t participate.

Attempt to find a Catholic group somewhere. If not on campus then search nearby. If you still can’t find anything then pray solid friendships will enter your life. They don’t need to be Christians and if they aren’t, it is a great opportunity to be a witness to the faith.

Stay close to the Sacraments. Go to confession and receive the Eucharist on a frequent basis. I can attest to what happens when you stay away from the Eucharist for too long and staying in mortal sin because I knew I was going to commit it again. St. John Bosco said it perfectly:

“The longer you stay away from Communion, the more your soul will become weak, and in the end you will become dangerously indifferent”.

When you fall, get your *** up and get to confession again.

 

[ProdigalSon4293]

Thank you everyone for your advice. All replies were very helpful. I’ll definitely start praying more and reading the bible. I really appreciate your well thought out and written responses. You have given me comfort, truly you are people of God!

 

[grandfather]

Prodigal,

It sounds like you are not happy about what you experienced in your first year of college. You have tasted what the world has to offer. It will not only leave you with a hole in your heart, but with a dead soul. The question is whether or not you wish to continue down the path and find out where it ultimately will take you, or if you have had enough of it and want something else.

All people fall into sin. We are broken. Some people find the grace to repent or it finds them. Most people experience this more than once. There are very powerful temptations. Jesus said anyone who sins is a slave to sin.

When we pray and Act of Contrition one of the things we say we will do is “avoid the near occassion of sin”. We promise not to go near the thing that tempts us.

If my problem is that I am an alcoholic and I want to stay sober it would not be wise to go to a bar to watch the ball game. The same principle applies to any struggle with vice. The environment we choose influences us.

We are spiritual creatures. We have immortal souls. We are also material beings. We can be physically healthy or ill. The same is true of our spiritual nature. If your body was sick, say you had cancer in your hand or eye, the doctors might remove the hand or eye to save your life.

Spiritual health is more important than bodily health, because your soul is immortal. The spiritual things we create for ourselves remain forever.

You might want to consider looking for a healthier spiritual environment rather than returning to the place that caused you harm. You said that there was no one to speak with about God there, no support group of other Catholics, a healthy campus ministry, or local parish where you might go for spiritual support.

If this is the case you would be better off in another place. Returning to the environment that left you with a hole in your heart will likely only make the hole bigger.

 

[JK61]

Is there a Newman Center at your college? I have also heard about FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students.) I was glad to find a Newman Center when my son went to college and I took him in and introduced him to the staff and priest. He says he went to mass but I can’t verify that. I hope to get my daughter introduced to the Newman Center at the college she will attend next year - I’m more concerned of her not going. At the Newman Center you should be able to find like minded people with other alternatives for recreation. Best of luck as you continue college and it’s okay to not participate in the poor choices that a lot of students make.

 

[green423]

I’m not sure how it is at your college but at the college here in town, they have a Catholic church that is geared toward the college students. (I think they’re usually called Newman Centers?) The college it’s self even has a Catholic club and they hold masses (especially during finals it seems) on campus! I couldn’t believe how many students were actually a part of the church and the club. Maybe if there is a club or a church that is affiliated with your school, you could meet up with some people there.

When I first moved to town, I subscribed to the local Newman Center’s mailing list. I would get e mails all of the time for talks students were giving, activities they were planning, all kinds of things. Maybe talking with someone who is involved with things like this could help you get to where you’d like to be. Also, you would meet people who share your same want to be close to God.

 

[DJK100]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post here, so forgive me if I don’t follow all the correct rules.

Anyways, I am a freshman in college wrapping up my first year. This year has brought out a side of me I never had. I have been questioning faith and God’s existence and the afterlife and Jesus and prayer and so much more. I don’t have anyone to help guide me on these matters.

I am surrounded by people who drink all the time, have sex with one another as if it’s nothing, treat others terribly, and are way more into material things than important aspects of life.

I have fallen into these traps on multiple occasions, some nights drinking until I puke. I constantly search for pleasure, whether it be alcohol or some sort of drug or hooking up with a girl, and I’m left with such a hole in my heart. Nobody around me can talk with me about God or anything like that, I feel so lost and scared and lonely and depressed I want him in my life, I just don’t know what to do. Whenever I end up asking people around me what they think about God they get so weirded out by me and end up walking away.

Do you have any advice for me? Thank you so much, I really appreciate you all.

Hi Prodigal,

Please consider getting this booklet “How to Stay Catholic In College”

shop.catholic.com/product.php?productid=16450&cat=12&page=3

It has some pretty good tips. I am not sure if you are Catholic but I think you can apply the tips and lessons from the booklet to which ever Church you belong to and it is only $2.00.

I am trying to get the Pastor at my Parish to give these out to all the kids that are about to go off to college to help give them something to think about and hopefully keep their faith as a large part of their college life.

Good luck! Just remember it is okay to have fun in college but remember to keep your ultimate focus on God, Family and your studies. If you do this, you will be fine.

 

[1ke]

Do you have any advice for me?

Find the closest Catholic Church or your college Newman Center and go to Confession. Then begin regular attendance at Mass and get involved with the young adults of the parish or the Newman Center-- make friends with something else on their minds, and refocus yourself so that your center is on God.

 

[domandcarols]

Thank you everyone for your advice. All replies were very helpful. I’ll definitely start praying more and reading the bible. I really appreciate your well thought out and written responses. You have given me comfort, truly you are people of God!

God bless you, I will be praying for you.

 

[ProdigalSon1211]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post here, so forgive me if I don’t follow all the correct rules.

Anyways, I am a freshman in college wrapping up my first year. This year has brought out a side of me I never had. I have been questioning faith and God’s existence and the afterlife and Jesus and prayer and so much more. I don’t have anyone to help guide me on these matters.

I am surrounded by people who drink all the time, have sex with one another as if it’s nothing, treat others terribly, and are way more into material things than important aspects of life.

I have fallen into these traps on multiple occasions, some nights drinking until I puke. I constantly search for pleasure, whether it be alcohol or some sort of drug or hooking up with a girl, and I’m left with such a hole in my heart. Nobody around me can talk with me about God or anything like that, I feel so lost and scared and lonely and depressed I want him in my life, I just don’t know what to do. Whenever I end up asking people around me what they think about God they get so weirded out by me and end up walking away.

Do you have any advice for me? Thank you so much, I really appreciate you all.

I highly recommend joining the Newman Catholic Student Association at your college if they have one !!! If your college does not have one then you should start one. Or, maybe get into intramural sports.

 

[constantconvert]

Anyways, I am a freshman in college wrapping up my first year. This year has brought out a side of me I never had. I have been questioning faith and God’s existence and the afterlife and Jesus and prayer and so much more.

I think what you are experiencing is very common to people your age. Your faith can no longer be your parents, it has to become YOUR faith. You may be having trouble on campus finding Christians who can talk about these things with you, but there are lots and lots of resources here on Catholic Answers, both on the forums and articles you can read about these subjects that will help build up your faith. God can stand up to our questioning, you will not find Him lacking.

I have fallen into these traps on multiple occasions, some nights drinking until I puke. I constantly search for pleasure, whether it be alcohol or some sort of drug or hooking up with a girl, and I’m left with such a hole in my heart.

So you’ve tried what *seems *to bring happiness to other people, and have found out it’s a lie. It doesn’t make you feel better, it only makes you feel worse. I mean, it may make you feel better for a few hours, but you know in the end it only makes you feel dead inside. So I suggest you don’t do it anymore. If people pressure you, just say it’s not your thing. Everyone in college worships “being true to yourself” and “finding yourself” just tell them that you looked for yourself at those parties, and you weren’t there

Find some friends who feel likewise. There are people, though maybe not many, who don’t party. Find some people who are also seeking God. The Newman Center is a good place to start, or if they don’t have one, some other Christian fellowship, even if it’s protestant (some will disagree with me about that).

I feel so lost and scared and lonely and depressed I want him in my life, I just don’t know what to do. Whenever I end up asking people around me what they think about God they get so weirded out by me and end up walking away.

Go to confession, go to Mass, if you can, go during the week too. God is there, and you will find Him if you keep looking. Pray that he will send you at least one friend who is practicing their faith. Ask Mary too.

I’m sorry you are hurting so much. You are headed in the right direction by reaching out for help. It’s very hard to be your age and trying to follow God in a world that is not only indifferent but often hostile toward God. God loves you and is with you. You can know God is listening because the Bible says he hears us when we pray. I will pray for you.