Lost in the shuffle - where do I start?

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birdie74

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Hi everybody,

I know someone must have asked this before, but my search didn’t yield any results, so here it goes…

The idea of being a nun or consecrated virgin has been in my mind for many years. At times, it is really strong, other times it is very faint, but it has never left, and it keeps coming back into my mind even as I grow older and get different jobs, meet different people, etc. So basically, I feel like I need to really investigate this in a serious way. My question is, whom do I tell? Do I start with my parish priest? I really admire him and trust him, but I hardly know him at all! I think he might be a little weirded out if I approached him. How would I approach him? Or do I just go straight to the orders and groups I am interested in? I don’t really have a specific one in mind, and that is part of the problem, but do I just do an internet search and make some random phone calls and send random emails?

I know the thing to do is just bite the bullet, but the whole thing makes me uncomfortable. I have waited this long because I keep thinking that if it really my vocation, I will be shown the way by someone inviting me to something or mentioning some advice out of the blue, but I guess it is up to me to settle this matter!

Thank you all for listening - I would be really grateful for any advice.
 
birdie74 said:
Hi everybody,

I know someone must have asked this before, but my search didn’t yield any results, so here it goes…

The idea of being a nun or consecrated virgin has been in my mind for many years. At times, it is really strong, other times it is very faint, but it has never left, and it keeps coming back into my mind even as I grow older and get different jobs, meet different people, etc. So basically, I feel like I need to really investigate this in a serious way. My question is, whom do I tell? Do I start with my parish priest? I really admire him and trust him, but I hardly know him at all! I think he might be a little weirded out if I approached him. How would I approach him? Or do I just go straight to the orders and groups I am interested in? I don’t really have a specific one in mind, and that is part of the problem, but do I just do an internet search and make some random phone calls and send random emails?

I know the thing to do is just bite the bullet, but the whole thing makes me uncomfortable. I have waited this long because I keep thinking that if it really my vocation, I will be shown the way by someone inviting me to something or mentioning some advice out of the blue, but I guess it is up to me to settle this matter!

Thank you all for listening - I would be really grateful for any advice.
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HI Birdie,

First you better find spiritual director to start your discernment. You can find it whether she is a nun that you know or a priest. Spiritual Director is the important thing to start your discernment. You should be calm and don’t be rush so you may listen God’s voice more surely…hope it helps

God bless
 
Thank you.

Any tips for finding a spiritual director. I will look at the other threads on this, but all the info is so overwhelming!

Also I see that I posted the original message twice by mistake - Sorry!
 
If he is a priest loyal to the Roman Catholic faith, you should go to your parish priest. It is really a good idea once you start discernment to get a spiritual director to help you, not only with your decision but with your spiritual life as well.

Who are you waiting for to approach you and say you might make a good religious? If you don’t know your priest, why would he do that? If you don’t know any religious sisters, why would they do that? I would estimate that the religious life is off the radar for about 90%-95% of Catholics so it’s not like there is a giant pool of people who suggest such things to being with.

I made an appt with my parish priest when I started discernment and I am glad I did. It is true, his reaction was strange (he looked like he was going to fall out of his chair) but you have to get beyond these things if you are really serious about wanting to serve God.
 
I agree with all the above replies. Additionally, you might contact your diocese’s vocations office/vocations director. They might be able to recommend a spiritual director, as well as perhaps a vocations retreat where you can meet various women religious. We have these in my diocese, and I would hope that other dioceses have them too. If you go to your diocese’s Web site, you can probably find information about vocations. God bless you and your discernment!
 
As far as consecrated virginity is concerned I have several suggestions. One is to research the United States Association of Consecrated Virgins web-site. It is www.consecratedvirgins.org and contains a lot of useful information. This association also has an information conference once a year, usually in August. The one I attended in 2006 was very inspiring. Each attendee also got to speak individually with Achbishop Burke (the episcopal moderater of this group). Another suggestion is to contact the vicar (if a priest) or delegated (if not a priest) for consecrated or religious life in your diocese. He or she should be able you with your discernment process as well as be able to suggest an appropriate spiritual director.
 
Ah, I see it has happened again! Every time I reply to a post, the thread dies! Why is that?
 
I think that what you need to find yourself is a good spiritual director. Someone who knows the spiritual life extremely well and can see God working through whatever events you describe to him or her.

Also, keep praying and asking God for guidance in what you want to do. Your experience sounds very similar to mine. I have heard the call to the religious life since I was a child, but I always put it off. The thing is that the call always comes back no matter what I did to stifle it. The thing to do is to continue asking God about what He would like you to do. Be open to the answer.

Another thing, go to a local Catholic bookstore or library. You might see something that could pique your interest about a particular Order. Sometimes, the Orders themselves publish books that could be of interest to you. Check them out too.

But remember always be open to God. In everything turn to Him and to your patrons and ask them for guidance in talking to your parish, finding your spiritual director, and the rest. He will show you the way.
 
birdie74 said:
Hi everybody,

I know someone must have asked this before, but my search didn’t yield any results, so here it goes…

The idea of being a nun or consecrated virgin has been in my mind for many years. At times, it is really strong, other times it is very faint, but it has never left, and it keeps coming back into my mind even as I grow older and get different jobs, meet different people, etc. So basically, I feel like I need to really investigate this in a serious way. My question is, whom do I tell? Do I start with my parish priest? I really admire him and trust him, but I hardly know him at all! I think he might be a little weirded out if I approached him. How would I approach him? Or do I just go straight to the orders and groups I am interested in? I don’t really have a specific one in mind, and that is part of the problem, but do I just do an internet search and make some random phone calls and send random emails?

I know the thing to do is just bite the bullet, but the whole thing makes me uncomfortable. I have waited this long because I keep thinking that if it really my vocation, I will be shown the way by someone inviting me to something or mentioning some advice out of the blue, but I guess it is up to me to settle this matter!

Thank you all for listening - I would be really grateful for any advice.
Click to expand...
If you do a search on “vocation placement” there will be a question and answer for you to go through. It will include what you feel called to. When completed, they will email you alot of orders that do what you are called to. At the same time, they notify the orders who will also email you. That puts you in contact with the orders so that you can plan a retreat and discuss everything with the vocation director there.
Kathie
 
My suggestion is to bite the bullet. If possible, get a good spiritual director. At the same time, I’d go for contacting that community you mention you are interested in. Write to them or call them. This may not be easy, but later on you will be glad you took the steps to try to see where God is leading you.

Not all priests or religious understand the vocation to religious life, much less consecrated virginity. If you feel you may be called to the life of a consecrated virgin, contact some consecrated virgins or people who do understand the vocation.

I am in Rome and it never ceases to amaze me how when I speak to priests and religious on the other forms of consecrated life, they are either very interested or they are very uncomfortable at the idea that religious life is not the only Church approved form of consecrated life. For example, a priest founder of a religious order specifically told me how he does not understand how there can be anything but priests, religious, and laity!!! He not only misunderstands other vocations but actively discourages them.
 
Do I start with my parish priest? I really admire him and trust him, but I hardly know him at all! I think he might be a little weirded out if I approached him. How would I approach him? Or do I just go straight to the orders and groups I am interested in? I don’t really have a specific one in mind, and that is part of the problem, but do I just do an internet search and make some random phone calls and send random emails?
Click to expand...
It sounds like you have an idea of a good place to start. I’d recommend that you do talk with your parish priest. He may be surprised, he may not, but I very much doubt he would be weirded out. He’s a priest himself, so he has had to discern just like you’re doing.

He might know of some good spiritual directors in your area and he may be able to suggest some good orders to you.
You can certainly go directly to orders you may be interested in, but since you don’t have anything specific in mind, your parish priest would be a good place to start.
 
Why don’t people think to talk to the vocations office at the chancery? I find this repeatedly in this forum. Call the office of vocations for your diocese. It will have a link on the diocesan web site. Surprise! The diocese has a web site! Talk to the vocations director. There are all manner of resources for people who want to dedicate themselves to the service of God and church.

Matthew
 
drafdog said:
Why don’t people think to talk to the vocations office at the chancery? I find this repeatedly in this forum. Call the office of vocations for your diocese. It will have a link on the diocesan web site. Surprise! The diocese has a web site! Talk to the vocations director. There are all manner of resources for people who want to dedicate themselves to the service of God and church.

Matthew
Click to expand...
The Diocesan Vocations Directors often deal more with just the priesthood. It probably depends on which diocese your’e in whether they deal much with religious vocations.
 
If I missed this in someone else’s reply I apologize

But I also considered a vocation…I am no longer considering one b/c I have met the man of my dreams and realized I would better served God in the married vocation lol

However, during my search I looked for different orders and contacted them with questions. They were EXTREMELY helpful. All of them inviting me to visit and many of them sending me letters and packages.

My order of choice was the Dominicans b/c I am an educator and my favorite one was the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecelia in Tennessee. They focus on education and music!! I play the harp/violin/handbells so it would have been a perfect match.

If it is constantly on your mind then I think that is God’s way of telling you this is a serious option. Contact a few orders and tell them your situation. They will assign you a vocations adviser! Def. visit a few

Best of luck!
 
As far as consecrated virginity is concerned I have several suggestions. One is to research the United States Association of Consecrated Virgins web-site. It is www.consecratedvirgins.org and contains a lot of useful information. This association also has an information conference once a year, usually in August. The one I attended in 2006 was very inspiring. Each attendee also got to speak individually with Achbishop Burke (the episcopal moderater of this group). Another suggestion is to contact the vicar (if a priest) or delegate (if not a priest) for consecrated or religious life in your diocese. He or she should be able you with your discernment process as well as be able to suggest an appropriate spiritual director.

As I said previously the Vicar or Delegate for Religious/Consecrated life in the Diocese should be able to help with discenment regarding non-priesthood vocations.
 
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