Lost, lonely, and frustrated

[PerlaDelRosario]

Please pray for me. After mass tonight, I felt like crying because I felt so lost, lonely, and frustrated . I felt lost because I’m not familiar with the order of mass and what to say. There is a missal available but I still get lost because there’s a separate book for hymns. Going back and forth between books and searching for the next page (because it skips around) frustrates me. I know that attending mass regularly will help me “get the hang of it” but I’m feeling lost and frustrated right now. It would help if I had a close Catholic friend to help me out but I don’t. Lastly, I felt so lonely tonight. I was unable to fully concentrate during mass, perhaps because I was so frustrated and I ended up noticing how almost everyone was there with their family or with a friend. I felt so very lonely. After mass, there were groups of people chatting and I felt alienated, like I didn’t belong. When I got home, I fought back tears and then I gave in and started crying . I hate to feel this way. I know this probably sounded like a sophomoric rant but please pray for God to place Catholic friends in my life that will help me learn and grow my faith. Thank you for hearing me out.

 

[alli124]

I will pray for you!

I know being alone is frustrating, it’s probably my biggest worry and the thing that upsets me most, so I can definitely sort of understand what you’re feeling.

Anyway, I encourage you to keep going, maybe look at some mass descriptions online, and it will definitely help! I think once you are comfortable in the mass itself, you can then start talking with people and making friends. Maybe join a church group like the Daughters of Isabella.

Just don’t stress, and take slow steps! I think that if you keep devoted you will definitely feel at home.

 

[DebbieS]

I"m so sorry you are feeling this way. I am alone too, and it is very difficult sometimes to see others with their families. I do have friends to attend Mass with and you will find some too. Keep going to Mass and you will learn very quickly the order of things. Don’t worry if you don’t know everything right now. Whats important is you are there.

Look into your parish, maybe there are some groups you can join to meet people to sit with at Mass.

I am praying for you. Always remember God’s love for you and in this way we are never alone.

 

[Lorraine1]

My heart breaks for you for attending Mass is supposed
to be an uplifting experience not a lonely one. Do you
bring a Rosary to church with you? I would bring it and
when you are feeling alone as you see families and
groups of friends, hold tight to that crucifix and concentrate
on Him and relax. You are NOT alone.
God bless you.

:gopray2:

 

[Mariem2]

That’s very sad. I prefer attending Mass alone because I find it less distracting.

Ask your priest whether your parish has any social groups you could join. If there aren’t any, you could suggest starting one and get involved in organising it. If joining/organising is not for you, maybe you could ask the priest to introduce you to a few people in the parish who would help familiarise you with procedures until you find your feet.

 

[Morwenna]

Hi Perla, I’ve been attending Mass alone for almost 7 years now, so I can definitely empathize and understand! :hug1:

I will share some things that have helped me with the loneliness aspect, in the hopes that some of them might be helpful to you:

• Think of at least 2 or 3 things that you are grateful for, and spend some time prior to Mass (if you can arrive early) thanking God for those things. A good one to start with is to look at the Crucifix in the Sanctuary … Jesus is holding his arms wide and saying, “Perla, I love you THIS much!” Then, go on to some ‘everyday’ things that you’re thankful for, and share your gratitude with Our Lord.
• Pray for anyone you know who is sick, or in any kind of distress. Pray for vocations to the Priesthood and Religious Life. Pray for those who (like you and I) have no one to attend Mass with, that God will send us some good, Mass-going friends. Look around the Church and notice that there are others sitting alone. Say a special prayer for them.
• If there are candles burning in your church, then pray for all those intentions.
• Offer up your sufferings in union with Christ’s sufferings for someone you know who is in need, or for the Holy Souls in Purgatory, or for unknown people around the world who are also lonely in prisons, hospitals, or homebound.
• Pray for all the people around you in church today: that those who are able to receive Communion will realize what a great gift it is, and that it will strengthen them for the coming week ahead, and that those who are unable to receive for any reason may be given the grace of Spiritual Communion.
• You may notice some beautiful artwork in your church in the form of murals, statues, stained glass, etc. Take a moment to enjoy those, and meditate upon the scenes depicted there. Let it bring you closer to Christ and His Saints.

Wow, I wrote a lot more than I intended! I hope that at least some of this is helpful to you. These are just some little things that have helped me along the way; I’ve found if I keep my mind and heart occupied with these things, then I’m less likely to experience feelings of loneliness.

Also, if you’re braver (less shy ) than me, then you could consider approaching someone who is sitting alone, mention that you’re also sitting alone, and ask if you could join them. You might even make a new friend this way

 

[boomerang]

I’ll pray for you. I feel lonely, too. Even though I go to mass with my husband and mother, I still feel lonely! It’s common nowadays. People are very alienated from one another. But this too shall pass. Use your time as a way to get closer to the Lord. Have you thought about volunteering or mentoring?

 

[RubyT]

This post has given me a clue! I am a very independent person, being alone does not usually bother me at all. I specifically go to mass alone because I want to be “alone with God” I want to reflect and revere Him and to me other people distract me from that intense inner meditation.

So I walked into mass today a bit early and a women sitting alone at the end of the pew gave me big smile and waved at me. I did not know who she was nor had I ever met her. Gosh what a dunce I was; I went and sat down at the opposite side of the pew and started my prayers. Now I realize that other people may need my company at Mass. She certainly made every attempt to wave me over. How was I so oblivious to her needs.

From now I on I will most definitely pay more attention to the people who may be feeling lonely and sad. I will make an effort to befriend more people. I feel like I let someone down today…gosh I hope it wasn’t you.
Diocese of Venice in Florida.

We are here for you…you never have to be alone after Mass. Come and talk on Ask an Apologist. Someone is always around 24/7 and we love you!!!

Another idea is joining Women of Grace…this way you can get to know the women in your Diocese(area) and become friends. Hope this helps.

 

[charlc]

Hi Perla, I’ve been attending Mass alone for almost 7 years now, so I can definitely empathize and understand! :hug1:

I will share some things that have helped me with the loneliness aspect, in the hopes that some of them might be helpful to you:

• Think of at least 2 or 3 things that you are grateful for, and spend some time prior to Mass (if you can arrive early) thanking God for those things. A good one to start with is to look at the Crucifix in the Sanctuary … Jesus is holding his arms wide and saying, “Perla, I love you THIS much!” Then, go on to some ‘everyday’ things that you’re thankful for, and share your gratitude with Our Lord.
• Pray for anyone you know who is sick, or in any kind of distress. Pray for vocations to the Priesthood and Religious Life. Pray for those who (like you and I) have no one to attend Mass with, that God will send us some good, Mass-going friends. Look around the Church and notice that there are others sitting alone. Say a special prayer for them.
• If there are candles burning in your church, then pray for all those intentions.
• Offer up your sufferings in union with Christ’s sufferings for someone you know who is in need, or for the Holy Souls in Purgatory, or for unknown people around the world who are also lonely in prisons, hospitals, or homebound.
• Pray for all the people around you in church today: that those who are able to receive Communion will realize what a great gift it is, and that it will strengthen them for the coming week ahead, and that those who are unable to receive for any reason may be given the grace of Spiritual Communion.
• You may notice some beautiful artwork in your church in the form of murals, statues, stained glass, etc. Take a moment to enjoy those, and meditate upon the scenes depicted there. Let it bring you closer to Christ and His Saints.

Wow, I wrote a lot more than I intended! I hope that at least some of this is helpful to you. These are just some little things that have helped me along the way; I’ve found if I keep my mind and heart occupied with these things, then I’m less likely to experience feelings of loneliness.

Also, if you’re braver (less shy ) than me, then you could consider approaching someone who is sitting alone, mention that you’re also sitting alone, and ask if you could join them. You might even make a new friend this way

Great advice! May God’s name be praised

 

[PerlaDelRosario]

I will pray for you!

I know being alone is frustrating, it’s probably my biggest worry and the thing that upsets me most, so I can definitely sort of understand what you’re feeling.

Anyway, I encourage you to keep going, maybe look at some mass descriptions online, and it will definitely help! I think once you are comfortable in the mass itself, you can then start talking with people and making friends. Maybe join a church group like the Daughters of Isabella.

Just don’t stress, and take slow steps! I think that if you keep devoted you will definitely feel at home.

I think I will look into joining a group and thanks for praying for me.

I"m so sorry you are feeling this way. I am alone too, and it is very difficult sometimes to see others with their families. I do have friends to attend Mass with and you will find some too. Keep going to Mass and you will learn very quickly the order of things. Don’t worry if you don’t know everything right now. Whats important is you are there.

Look into your parish, maybe there are some groups you can join to meet people to sit with at Mass.

I am praying for you. Always remember God’s love for you and in this way we are never alone.

Thanks for praying for me and I will have to look into joining a group.

My heart breaks for you for attending Mass is supposed
to be an uplifting experience not a lonely one. Do you
bring a Rosary to church with you? I would bring it and
when you are feeling alone as you see families and
groups of friends, hold tight to that crucifix and concentrate
on Him and relax. You are NOT alone.
God bless you.

:gopray2:

That’s a great idea . I will have to try that and thanks for reminding me that God is always with me.

That’s very sad. I prefer attending Mass alone because I find it less distracting.

Ask your priest whether your parish has any social groups you could join. If there aren’t any, you could suggest starting one and get involved in organising it. If joining/organising is not for you, maybe you could ask the priest to introduce you to a few people in the parish who would help familiarise you with procedures until you find your feet.

I’m new to the parish. I did try to look up available groups on the church website but it seems to be “down”. I’ll have to go to the parish office and ask.

 

[PerlaDelRosario]

Hi Perla, I’ve been attending Mass alone for almost 7 years now, so I can definitely empathize and understand! :hug1:

I will share some things that have helped me with the loneliness aspect, in the hopes that some of them might be helpful to you:

• Think of at least 2 or 3 things that you are grateful for, and spend some time prior to Mass (if you can arrive early) thanking God for those things. A good one to start with is to look at the Crucifix in the Sanctuary … Jesus is holding his arms wide and saying, “Perla, I love you THIS much!” Then, go on to some ‘everyday’ things that you’re thankful for, and share your gratitude with Our Lord.
• Pray for anyone you know who is sick, or in any kind of distress. Pray for vocations to the Priesthood and Religious Life. Pray for those who (like you and I) have no one to attend Mass with, that God will send us some good, Mass-going friends. Look around the Church and notice that there are others sitting alone. Say a special prayer for them.
• If there are candles burning in your church, then pray for all those intentions.
• Offer up your sufferings in union with Christ’s sufferings for someone you know who is in need, or for the Holy Souls in Purgatory, or for unknown people around the world who are also lonely in prisons, hospitals, or homebound.
• Pray for all the people around you in church today: that those who are able to receive Communion will realize what a great gift it is, and that it will strengthen them for the coming week ahead, and that those who are unable to receive for any reason may be given the grace of Spiritual Communion.
• You may notice some beautiful artwork in your church in the form of murals, statues, stained glass, etc. Take a moment to enjoy those, and meditate upon the scenes depicted there. Let it bring you closer to Christ and His Saints.

Wow, I wrote a lot more than I intended! I hope that at least some of this is helpful to you. These are just some little things that have helped me along the way; I’ve found if I keep my mind and heart occupied with these things, then I’m less likely to experience feelings of loneliness.

Also, if you’re braver (less shy ) than me, then you could consider approaching someone who is sitting alone, mention that you’re also sitting alone, and ask if you could join them. You might even make a new friend this way

Thank you for taking the time to write all your suggestions. I don’t mind a long reply . I found the suggestions helpful. You know what though? I did arrive an hour early to mass on Sunday evening to pray before mass. However, the choir was having rehearsal and the sound of the drums was distracting. Then families started to arrive for confession prior to mass. Some had kids that were running and playing hide and go seek in the church . I didn’t expect all of this an hour before mass. Oh well, maybe it will be different (as in better) next time.

 

[PerlaDelRosario]

I’ll pray for you. I feel lonely, too. Even though I go to mass with my husband and mother, I still feel lonely! It’s common nowadays. People are very alienated from one another. But this too shall pass. Use your time as a way to get closer to the Lord. Have you thought about volunteering or mentoring?

No, I haven’t thought about volunteering or mentoring. I’ll definitely have to see how I can be more involved at church and meet people.

 

[PerlaDelRosario]

This post has given me a clue! I am a very independent person, being alone does not usually bother me at all. I specifically go to mass alone because I want to be “alone with God” I want to reflect and revere Him and to me other people distract me from that intense inner meditation.

So I walked into mass today a bit early and a women sitting alone at the end of the pew gave me big smile and waved at me. I did not know who she was nor had I ever met her. Gosh what a dunce I was; I went and sat down at the opposite side of the pew and started my prayers. Now I realize that other people may need my company at Mass. She certainly made every attempt to wave me over. How was I so oblivious to her needs.

From now I on I will most definitely pay more attention to the people who may be feeling lonely and sad. I will make an effort to befriend more people. I feel like I let someone down today…gosh I hope it wasn’t you.
Diocese of Venice in Florida.

We are here for you…you never have to be alone after Mass. Come and talk on Ask an Apologist. Someone is always around 24/7 and we love you!!!

Another idea is joining Women of Grace…this way you can get to know the women in your Diocese(area) and become friends. Hope this helps.

No, it wasn’t me; I’m in Texas . But I think it’s great that now you’ll try to befriend more people like me .

 

[RubyT]

No, it wasn’t me; I’m in Texas . But I think it’s great that now you’ll try to befriend more people like me .

Thank you Perla…I will remember you when I see that lonely person. By the way I just love your name. Perla…love it♥

 

[GaryTaylor]

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.
Amen

 

[joecap]

Perla, what part of Texas are you in? Here in Grapevine, we have a great Parish where there would be so many people who would love to help.

 

[Obsculta]

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.