Lost... Marriage woes

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Elizabeth6510

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Hello all,

I am feeling quite lost lately. I feel like I am a rotating circle of emotional abuse and cheating from my current husband. Before we where married he came with me to church and respected my beliefs knowing this is what I wanted for my family. What I did not know is that he has a long standing addiction to chasing women on line and getting them to send him inappropriate pictures and messages no matter their marital status or gender for that matter.

I am feeling quite lonely and lost I feel like I want to move on but I do not want a divorce. I want my marriage to continue. But I miss the affection from my husband I find myself looking at the other side of the fence… I need prayers for strength and guidance from people with the same faith. I am talking to a man that is also catholic and the thing he says is that God has brought me to this situation to bring me to a place where I am to be not to suffer through life with a man that breaks our vows be it in physical adultery or emotional.

Please Help a Lost Sheep,
Elizabeth
 
I would suggest that you start by making an appointment w/ your parish priest or another priest that you are comfortable with to discuss the situation.Also marriage counseling is in order if your husband will not go with you go by yourself.This is a very sad situation I hope things work out well for you.
 
i agree with the poster above. i will pray for you. and keep this in mind, you can’t make a marriage work by yourself, he has to want to do it too
 
First of all, I want you to know that I’m praying for you.

I suggest that you speak to a priest. If your husband is open to going with you, that would be even better.
 
Elizabeth6510 said:
What I did not know is that he has a long standing addiction to chasing women on line and getting them to send him inappropriate pictures and messages no matter their marital status or gender for that matter.
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I think if I were in that situation that I’d try to leave, even if I were lonely.

Can you get counseling for yourself? You have no dignity in your relationship. Marriage needs 3 things, respect, trust, and love. Seems there’s no respect or trust, and it’s hard to love without the other 2 in place.

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blest is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. :gopray:
 
I am in a similar situation, my heart aches for you. I can relate to everything you have said. The hurt, disappointment and resentment is exhausting to bear. Especially, when your spouse could seemingly care less.
I also had a man encouraging me to leave my husband. I think he meant well, but his words were cause for a lot of distress and confusion over my marriage. It also didn’t help that I had developed feelings for him and was pretty much cheating emotionally with him. I’m not suggesting that’s what you are doing. I’m sharing my story as a warning and hope. He is no longer in my life and the focus and intensity in which I am trying to salvage my marriage has been somewhat renewed. Its definitely still a huge struggle, with many ups and downs and I’m so dang tired, but I can see now why he was not helping the situation at all, no matter his intentions. Perhaps, you should be turning to someone else such as a priest to discuss your marriage. Please know I will be praying for you and your husband.
 
HoneyBea,

Thank you for your reply… Thank you for your thoughts yes I’d say you are right… He (the friend) is emotionally supporting me right now after a year of dealing with the problem myself. It’s almost as if it would make it easier to leave, which is not what I want. How often have I thought how many times must I forgive… I feel like God really spoke to me with a thought that came into my head “one more time” and then what about the next time “one more time” I want my husband to be my soulmate be what if I was to foolish to see through the list that brought us together that lust was all that was there… Now knowing that he almost mocks my belief in God and that his family encourages that… I would not wont my child growing up like that!!!
 
Thank you all… I am trying to get ahold of a priest… We are military and our priests change weekly I feel so I never know where to go… I will try church in the morning…
 
Military marriages are tough. If you haven’t done so already, I would suggest trying to talk to a Military Family Life Consultant. Contact MilitaryOneSource (either on line or by phone) and see what resources are available in your area. Also, see if a couple’s retreat is coming up that possibly you all can attend. PM me if you need help with the process. God bless
 
Addictions are hard. The first thing you need to come to peace with is maintaining your dignaty. Heal yourself of lonlyness and of rejection. After this treage, you can then look at you spouce.

You need to discern if his addiction is aimed as a personal attack against you or if he is merely blinded by his selfishness and enslavement to this addiction. Should you be so brave, you can reach out to heal him of these. Remember, you are called to get him to heaven; & vice-versa. It’s not an easy calling, but one God is waiting to help you with. Jesus gave us the mercy & deliverance to heaven on the cross … How will you give mercy and deliverance to your spouce?
 
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