Lounging in the pews

[tjfitz]

I get annoyed when in church at Mass and during the time before Mass or during Mass when the people are seated, men, especially, will stretch out one or both arms along the back of the pew as though lounging. This wouldn’t be done at a concert or at a presentation by a speaker-why at Mass?

 

[TheDoctor]

Sorry, I don’t see how that is “lounging”.

P.S. - For me, as long as people are not disturbing anyone around them or the Mass itself, I really don’t care how they sit in the pew. I have enough to do to keep my attention focuesd on the Priest and participate in Mass.

 

[PacoG]

I get annoyed when in church at Mass and during the time before Mass or during Mass when the people are seated, men, especially, will stretch out one or both arms along the back of the pew as though lounging. This wouldn’t be done at a concert or at a presentation by a speaker-why at Mass?

All I can do is quote Matthew 7:4:

Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove that splinter from your eye,’ while the wooden beam is in your eye? You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye.

 

[Bananaslugmom]

I get annoyed when in church at Mass and during the time before Mass or during Mass when the people are seated, men, especially, will stretch out one or both arms along the back of the pew as though lounging. This wouldn’t be done at a concert or at a presentation by a speaker-why at Mass?

While I focus on my own prayers and the priest, I completely understand your frustration. I was taught by the Sisters of St. Francis and this would have never been tolerated. I think what bothers me is the lack of respect in the church. However, when you look at the lack of respect in the world, it is no wonder it is now entering into our church as well.

My advice ~ PRAY!!

 

[Bananaslugmom]

P.S. - For me, as long as people are not disturbing anyone around them or the Mass itself, I really don’t care how they sit in the pew. I have enough to do to keep my attention focuesd on the Priest and participate in Mass.

It is this attitude, if it doesn’t bother me, then who cares, that has our world in such a mess. I am sorry, I completely disagree with this statement/attitude for all things in life. Everything we do as human beings/individuals affects the world around us.

 

[PatrickJT914]

I get annoyed when in church at Mass and during the time before Mass or during Mass when the people are seated, men, especially, will stretch out one or both arms along the back of the pew as though lounging. This wouldn’t be done at a concert or at a presentation by a speaker-why at Mass?

Me thinkest thou protestest too much. Why not try and focus on the Mass and your own personal spirituality. That probably would please Jesus more than worrying and judging what others are doing or not doing. If we worry about every little thing we would go crazy. I’m still working on doing that myself. I see and hear things that annoy me, but I try to go with the flow and realize that we are all different. You mentioned men as the primary offenders, I hope that is not some sexist commentary on men. Do you know if they are saying a prayer, reflecting, mediating, quieting their minds for Mass,or did they just get off working a shift before Mass. How often do they do this once, twice, or more?

You say this would not be done at a concert or at a presentation by a speaker. Well first thing the pew is generally a long wooden bench with a long back rest. The seating at a concert and at presentations of speakers are usually either fixed or not fixed chairs. So there is better opportunity to stretch out in a pew.

 

[Appleby]

If the Lounger is (1) blocking other people from sitting in a pew, by taking up three spaces, or (2) putting his arms around you, then I would speak to him (and it is always a Him, in my experience) politely and request that he lower his arms. This also goes for a man who sits with his legs flung wide, infringing on the space of the person next to him.

 

[tundramom]

Mark 14

16The disciples left, went into the city and found things just as Jesus had told them. So they prepared the Passover.

17When evening came, Jesus arrived with the Twelve. 18**While they were reclining at the table eating, **he said, “I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me—one who is eating with me.”

 

[JPUSC]

Hey, it’s comfortable.

 

[Georgia]

It’s not the manner of seating that gets my attention. Our parish’s masses tend to last about an hour and twenty minutes, so sitting there at attention gets to be well nigh impossible.

What does bother me is seeing the same people stroll in whenever they get the urge week after week. Maybe I am wrong, but I cannot pay attention to the priest when people are moving around all over the church. People were dropping in all the way up to the homily at last Saturday’s vigil. It would be far better if they would find a place at the back of the church, though they always seem to want to sit up front.

 

[thomasf]

Pews are uncomfortable and make my back hurt at times. If I want to stretch out to allieviate that, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else, who cares? I’m still paying attention to mass. What’s more important? Pay attention during the mass or proper posture according to you?

 

[Appleby]

Pews are uncomfortable and make my back hurt at times. If I want to stretch out to allieviate that, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else, who cares? I’m still paying attention to mass. What’s more important? Pay attention during the mass or proper posture according to you?

Again, if you are not infringing on my space, or the space of others, it makes no never mind. However, if the church is crowded and you are sprawling across more than one seat or your body parts are actually touching others, then I think it is okay to mention it.

 

[TheDoctor]

It is this attitude, if it doesn’t bother me, then who cares, that has our world in such a mess.

With respect, no it’s not. It’s the fact that we focus on the minutia and waste time on the things that really don’t matter. Do I care how someone sits in a pew - yeah, once we are all united in Christ, cure cancer, stop abortion, etc. The fact that he is IN the pew is a “win” for me.

I am sorry, I completely disagree with this statement/attitude for all things in life. Everything we do as human beings/individuals affects the world around us.

No need to apologize for what you think. It is our diversity that makes us strong (and how boring would the world be if we all thought alike ?) In fact, we do agree - everything affects the world, but given the reality of my life I am just trying to keep this one thing in perspective.

 

[T700]

I get annoyed when in church at Mass and during the time before Mass or during Mass when the people are seated, men, especially, will stretch out one or both arms along the back of the pew as though lounging. This wouldn’t be done at a concert or at a presentation by a speaker-why at Mass?

You and I must have gone to different concerts and presentations. As others have said, unless the person is taking up needed space, I’d let it go. On a side note, if you ever attend mass with me, you might notice me carefully sitting on the end of the pew and once in a while stretching my right leg slightly into the aisle. If you’d like, I’ll let you feel the crepitus in my knee, after the service.

Paul

 

[graceandglory]

People were dropping in all the way up to the homily at last Saturday’s vigil. It would be far better if they would find a place at the back of the church, though they always seem to want to sit up front.

Maybe the person’s a bit hyperactive with an attention deficit. My dad would have been like that. Totally successful man, but could NOT sit still for the life of him. We all inherited some of that. It’s a coping effort of some who have attention problems to sit up front. Sounds to me that if you are spending so much time concerned about other people in the church, you need to sit closer too. Sounds like an attention deficit disorder.

Problem solved.

 

[tjfitz]

A corollary annoyance to this (hope corallary is the right word) is the husband/boyfriend who wraps an arm around his significant other next to him in the pew and kneads her shoulder and neck while they are sitting. I would prefer they save that for the couch in front of their television at home. Also the lounging.

 

[graceandglory]

A corollary annoyance to this (hope corallary is the right word) is the husband/boyfriend who wraps an arm around his significant other next to him in the pew and kneads her shoulder and neck while they are sitting. I would prefer they save that for the couch in front of their television at home. Also the lounging.

I haven’t seen that in a Catholic parish. That’s how we did things back in my Calvary Chapel days, though.
(not me…them…!)

 

[tjfitz]

That should be “corollary”. I knew I should have looked up the spelling.

 

[redrosetea]

I don’t goto mass to try to catch other people out…I go to worship. If you are minding your own business how do you see all of this stuff?

 

[Catholic90]

I get annoyed when in church at Mass and during the time before Mass or during Mass when the people are seated, men, especially, will stretch out one or both arms along the back of the pew as though lounging. This wouldn’t be done at a concert or at a presentation by a speaker-why at Mass?

And I get annoyed when others think they are better than others. So there.

Have you ever had back problems? Sore shoulders? A pain in the neck?

You see, for some of us (and I am a female), we HURT sometimes physically. Sitting on those oh-so-comfortable wooden pews can be very uncomfortable, especially when my back is bothering me. So yes, you may find ME sitting in a pew with my arm stretched over the pew. It is more comfortable for my back and it alleviates some of the soreness.

(grumbles…judgmental goody two shoes who think they are better than everybody else…grrrrr…if only they had a clue…)