Love Commandment - Commanded to have a feeling?

[in_servitude]

I want to hear your opinion. Feelings are what they are - it doesn’t make sense to command someone to have a feeling. Otherwise, I would have commanded myself to be happy when I was very much down in the dumps.

Matthew 22: 36-40: When Jesus says to love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind - I have always assumed that it was a commandment to “feel love.” However, my understanding of love is that often times love is a decision - and not a feeling.

St. Paul says that love is:

• Patient - that’s a willful decision, not an emotion.
• Kind - that is a behavior, not an emotion.
• Not Envy - is envy an emotion?
• Not Proud - is proud an emotion?
• Does not dishonor - that’s a behavior
• Is not self-seeking - behavior
• Is not easily angered - anger is emotion - but easily or not is a decision.
• Keeps no record of wrongs - decision/behavior
• Does not delight in evil - seems emotional to me.
• Rejoices in truth - also seems emotional to me.
• Always protects - behavior
• Always trusts - decision
• Always hopes - decision
• Always preservers - decision

Is it not more accurate to say that the #1 commandment is to make certain decisions and take on certain behaviors? I’m not sure, but this does not seem to be the normal way to understand that commandment. Rather, it seems the norm is to take it as a command to have a feeling.

What’s your opinion?

 

[lizaanne]

Love is not a feeling - affection is a feeling. Love is a decision, an action, a way of being.

~Liza

 

[in_servitude]

Love is not a feeling - affection is a feeling. Love is a decision, an action, a way of being.

~Liza

Thanks - and this makes the most sense to me. From the perspective of what Jesus was commanding us to DO - it seems that it must be something other than an emotion.

 

[Allegra]

Love is both emotional and behavoiral. Habitual actions of love effect the way we feel about others and respond to them and help us get through the times where they are less than lovable.

 

[in_servitude]

Love is both emotional and behavoiral. Habitual actions of love effect the way we feel about others and respond to them and help us get through the times where they are less than lovable.

In the context of the thread, then Jesus is commanding us to love emotionally and with behavior? Or - to just “love” - and that is a mixture of both decision and emotion?

It does seem strange to say, “I command you to feel an emotion.”

In your statement, are you saying that the loving emotion is a natural consequence of loving decisions and behaviors?

 

[Allegra]

In the context of the thread, then Jesus is commanding us to love emotionally and with behavior? Or - to just “love” - and that is a mixture of both decision and emotion?

It does seem strange to say, “I command you to feel an emotion.”

In your statement, are you saying that the loving emotion is a natural consequence of loving decisions and behaviors?

Yeah, that’s pretty much what I was getting at.

 

[bmonk]

In the context of the thread, then Jesus is commanding us to love emotionally and with behavior? Or - to just “love” - and that is a mixture of both decision and emotion?

It does seem strange to say, “I command you to feel an emotion.”

In your statement, are you saying that the loving emotion is a natural consequence of loving decisions and behaviors?

Psychologists have discovered that feelings tend to follow actions pretty strongly. Act as if you care about someone or something, and you grow devoted to that person or thing.

So: act in love, act for the good of the person in question, and your feelings will follow naturally.

 

[Timothysis]

Love, true love, is a commitment of the intellect. Emotional love can wax and wane but true love is consistent and dedicated.

When we read the words, “For God so loved the world…” it isn’t the touchy-feely type of love that a guy feels when a pretty girl smiles at him, it is a complete and total intellectual commitment to a person.

A parent’s love for their 3 year old is based on the commitment to provide for, take care of, and be there for their child through good times and bad. Yes, there is the emotional type of love involved, too, but that isn’t the important one. Emotional love can let a child have cake for supper; intellectual love wouldn’t because it isn’t in the interest of the child.

 

[Publisher]

Love isn’t necessarily something we feel…Agape love is something we do. A way of ordering our lives…a way of repsonding to others…a way of dealing with difficulties…we live Agape love…not always feel it.