He has expressed that he is in love with me, loves me, but is just scared for fear of ruining our friendship.
That just makes no sense to me. Does it make sense to you? He says that he is “in love with you” but won’t date you for fear of ruining your “friendship”?
How on earth would it ruin the friendship between you and he if he began dating you, courting you, being romantic with you, and if he got engaged to you, and married you?
Where’s the logic in that? If there is a real friendship there now, then you will be a nice married couple together. If you start dating and one or the other doesn’t want to keep going that only means there was no significant friendship there anyway.
If he was “in love” with you, he’d be chasing after you like crazy. That’s what men DO when they are in love with someone who is single and who has signaled that they would welcome their invitations to do things like dating, and so on. No exceptions. So,…
Even more, I’m going to tell you a shocking truth: Past the 5th grade or so, actual friendship between males and females DOES NOT EXIST outside of a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, or outside of marriage.
This has been well know for thousands of years, UNTIL recent times, the age of Androgyny, the Age of Feminism and the Sexual Revolution.
Yes, there do seem to be exceptions. There are these “buddy” relationships between single men and single women. But when you look at these, these are not really REAL friendships. There are agendas and these are not really close friendships.
Look, lets say you and Donald each end up marrying other people. Let’s just say “what if.” Will you and Donald still be friends? Will you still meet for lunch together by yourselves? Will you go bowling together by yourselves? Will you go fishing together by yourselves? Will you and your “friend” Donald go and and see a movie together by yourselves?
There is a famous book out there called He’s Just Not That Into You. See:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/He%27s_Just_Not_That_Into_You
I hate to tell you this, but: I’m pretty sure that Donald’s answer to you really means that he likes you a little, but not enough to date and possibly marry you. People lie. Why? To be mean? No, to keep from hurting another’s feelings.
We human beings are species in which the males pursue the females for romantic relationships. That’s just the way it works. The females attract, and the males pursue. It is fact that this male called Donald has not pursued you, and is not pursuing you, despite your making known to him that you would accept and welcome his pursuing you. Either he’s gay, or he is looking for someone he likes more, or he is already in pursuit of someone he likes more.
So, I think, you already have your answer. Donald himself has given it to you.
If you want to get married, it is time to move one. Even God cannot make Person A love Person B. The clock is ticking. There are bzillions of single guys out there in your age range. Don’t obsess on one. I guarantee that he isn’t so super great that wasting a year of your life pining over him would be worth it.
Use some service like
CatholicMatch.com or
Match.com.
Make yourself as attractive as you can be. Constantly be working hard to upgrade your attractiveness. That may sound shallow. But I know guys. This works.
And yes, pray to God in the name of Jesus. But do EVERYTHING that is in your POWER to do too. God is not a going to cook your dinner tonight, or vacuum your living room on Saturday, no matter how many times you pray and ask Him to. God won’t magically deliver a great boyfriend to your front door, either. Even devout Catholics must do all the regular, normal things that the heathens and pagans do to find good spouses. That’s just the truth. I think any Catholic priest would tell you the same thing.
Believe it or not, my aim is to counsel you towards a course of action and a way of thinking that will lead to the happiness and joy that you are seeking. Believe it or not, I am on your side. I want you to succeed, and as quickly as possible. Life alone as a single person is yucky! Everyone needs their OWN family!
But, if you don’t see it that way, if you feel that I have been rude, mean, brutal, unkind, harsh, belittling, then I am sorry, and I apologize. I am not perfect. I am not a saint.
