love hurts...

[GraceDK]

:crying:

I am so blue… I keep on thinking about this person that I loved… or … love… it should be past but I’m not good at letting it die…
I am so down.
It can be in no other way… this is just life… we could not be together… and we would be miserable if we defied all odds and went on ahead…

It must be a defect in the romantic’s brain that she always lives life as if it was the last day… and the intensity in the moments … are like flying high among the stars hand in hand …

and staring at the empty white walls in my humble abode on the other side of the planet I wonder really with all my heart if I can ever love like this again… such passion, call it lunacy or a miracle, but it seems it can only come once in a life time…

Please brothers and sisters… tell me that such a fantastic thing CAN happen more than once in our lives… and all I need is a little time… then I will forget … forget the feeling and not have them anymore… Anyone out there with any experience in the field to give to this most hopeless of all sentimental people…

 

[Della]

Oh yes! I went through the very same kind of things several years ago. I too thought I’d never get over this guy I knew was all wrong for me but who I adored. At the time I couldn’t see past my heartache and thought I’d never find another love like that one.

And I didn’t find another love like that one, thank God! I found a deep, lasting love with a sweet, gentle man whose eyes still glow with love for me after 24 years of marriage.

Hot romances are very romantic, but they usually burn out very quickly. True love lasts through everything–the banal as well as the exciting, the ups and the downs.

Give yourself time to get over your feelings for this man. Learn to be happy on your own, and give your time and abilities to those who need it. Believe me, in time you will be thanking God you didn’t enter into a hopeless marriage based on the heat of the moment instead of on a lasting relationship that nurtures both of you.

 

[GraceDK]

Della. Thanks… I’m just all tears today… all beside myself…

I do not regret that I said no to this man’s marriage proposal… there were too many things that were not okay…

I hope one day I will meet a man who will love me and that I will love with some of the same kind of passion…

happy to hear your success story…
one of my friends who is a bit of a mystic and who lives alone and in constant prayer (she does not know about my heart ache) told me there is a husband for me and when abouts he is coming… Since that evening I havent been so desperate anymore coz even though she might be wrong (profetic words are always only tested on the following facts) it calmed me a little bit down… God knows my needs… he knows my brokeness and my fears of getting hurt… I gotta trust Him eventhough everything seems so empty right now…

 

[mizznicole]

The worst heartache of my life happened right before I met my beautiful husband. I can’t say that’s what will happen to you. But I can say that God never takes something away from us without it being for our good. Try, though it is so hard, to abandon yourself to his love. He will show you how precious you are in his sight. I’m sorry for your pain. I know what that’s like.

God bless you.

 

[GraceDK]

Dear sisters in Jesus.

Thanks for your compassion.

I hope Jesus will send me a husband before too long… having tasted the sweetness of being TWO the lonelyness and void is pressing… anyway… he was my first love and my selfesteem is really quite low.

Its the Lord’s mercy that I am far away from this American boy now that I fell in love with… we still love each other but try to prepare to finally let go… It was a clear cut but so much suffering afterwards…

Monicad… I am not in America and I cant get books from over there very easily… but thank you. I am surrendering my self to Jesus … in a way… I do feel shaken because of all that has happend… but there is nothing else to do than suffer it through…

 

[Fitz]

:crying:

I am so blue… I keep on thinking about this person that I loved… or … love… it should be past but I’m not good at letting it die…
I am so down.
It can be in no other way… this is just life… we could not be together… and we would be miserable if we defied all odds and went on ahead…

It must be a defect in the romantic’s brain that she always lives life as if it was the last day… and the intensity in the moments … are like flying high among the stars hand in hand …

and staring at the empty white walls in my humble abode on the other side of the planet I wonder really with all my heart if I can ever love like this again… such passion, call it lunacy or a miracle, but it seems it can only come once in a life time…

Please brothers and sisters… tell me that such a fantastic thing CAN happen more than once in our lives… and all I need is a little time… then I will forget … forget the feeling and not have them anymore… Anyone out there with any experience in the field to give to this most hopeless of all sentimental people…

I promise you that when these disappointments happen it can be part of God’s plan for us. I was very hurt by several realtionships that did not work out. I finally turned it over to God. I prayed for the right person to be evident to me. I prayed that I find the right relationship. Well, I did and I married a few years later. I have been married to the same man for 30 years. I thank God every day that He did not let me marry the wrong man. I will say a prayer for your hurting spirit. Please ask God for help-He wants us to be happy too. Don’t leave Him out.

I had to come back and add something. Yes, the love you finally have will be much better even though you can’t imagine it.

 

[chevalier]

Hah. It’s possible to love like that again. Some people say it’s possible to love two people at the same time even. Things just take time to unveil or to develop. You will spend some time getting over that guy. However, in the future, you will most likely find someone else not far from now, especially if you’re a young person.

Some people say true love never dies and if you don’t make it happen, then you will be unhappy until you die. Obviously, there’s some exaggeration here, but obviously as well, there’s some grain of truth also in it. Fact is, you need to let go if you want to be free. This doesn’t mean forcing yourself actively and pushing your brain a level ahead, where it doesn’t want to go. Sometimes it takes time to heal, not just concentrated power of will.

Some people are unhappy because they attach. Some others are unhappy because they choose the wrong people. Some are unhappy for both reasons. It looks like you’re attached to the wrong person (nothing wrong with him per se, just not good for you). How to let it go I don’t know, but it will happen.

As for the pain you’re going through, you just have to go through it. Sounds cruel, but cotton wraps don’t do any good. If you know you just have to go through it, it’ll be easier. Just think that after a while it will be gone. If you need to focus your mind on something else, I won’t tell you what to look for, but you will find something.

Don’t despair and try not to wallow in the sorrow too much because while we sometimes just give in to it for drama, it ends up consuming us, whereas if it had been contained in the right moment, the whole headache or heartache would have been avoided. And yes, this is something from personal experience as well. I can be quite distasteful when I can’t get over someone. I think I made a couple of threads about my last break-up and to tell you something, I still get such pains from it that my whole temples are hurting or my face goes stiff and I can’t even think or see straight. But that’s just moments and if I find something to do, it goes. It fades. Forgetting about pain is the best way to stop feeling it.

Besides, the experience you’re going through will teach you something. You cannot really walk around untested. Life has surprises for you, but it also has tests. Tests, exams, lessons. It’s not like you pass or fail, but you certainly develop. You learn something new about love with every such horrible situation and painful break-up.

A good idea would be to sign up for some free (or what you can afford without too much trouble) course or class. You will have a teacher talking, so you won’t have to live in your head like with learning on your own. You will be in a group, among people. You will have the enthusiasm of learning a new skill (or language). And it will be productive. Work is a good consolation, as is learning.

 

[Belle10]

The worst heartache of my life happened right before I met my beautiful husband.

Me too.

Well, I had known my husband, but just superficially at that point. It was he and my best friend who were the “angels” that helped me through my heartache over another man, and through that, my now-husband and I fell in love. I know it’s so painful right now, but remember this:

“For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” ~Jeremiah 29:11

I read, just today in another thread here, someone’s words to another who is suffering: “Consider yourself blessed that Jesus would consider you worthy of some suffering. He must love you to trust that you can handle it.”
I know that isn’t always easy to hear or accept, but I think the person who wrote it has it right.

Sending up a prayer for you…

God bless :hug1:

 

[GraceDK]

Dear Chevalier…
thanks so much brother… it cheared me up greatly to read your post. Actually I saw it as a confirmation that I should sign up for a retreat in a few days time… being alone in my grief over too many things is no good for me…I need to get away from James Blunt and his “good bye my lover” and all the other stuff that constantly reminds me of what a pitiful loser I am right now…
and you are right… this relationship was really bad for me in many ways (if you read my other posts you’d know what I mean)… anyway… I actually send my friend a note of good bye today… the great thing about it is that it was not pitiful but very much, I think, according to the idea about how God wants us to break things off… that is, without making a terrible scene full of tears according to the flesh but rather that we hold up the image of Abraham and Isaac on the Moriah…and the recognizing silence between them, as a role model.
I pray that God will let me love again according to His Will, in the right way, doing things right… with the same kind of intensity but with a “baptised” kind of it…
I am sorry to hear about your own sadness in the love field… I hope you find someone, or God willing, get back with this lady that has taken your heart with such storm.

Bless you brother.
Grace <><